CmptrWz

Now, a brief visit with The American Scientists

"Picking up Tachyon particles in Paris!" yelled Scientist 3.

"WHAT!? Quick, Start Recording Data!" yelled Scientist 1.

"Quin, Start projecting where that portal is coming from," yelled Scientist 3.

"Yes sir," answered the assistant Quin.

"This could be the greatest discovery in the history of man!" said Scientist 3.

"Wasn't that the discovery of the being that created the RPG?" asked Scientist 2.

"Ok, the second greatest discovery," replied Scientist 3.

"I found the source," said Quin, "It's source is one post into the future."

"What the hell is a post?" Scientist 1 asked.

"I will let you know when I figure it out," Quin responded.

Back with the gang at the shrine

"Hello?" a voice called from outside. "Is anyone here?"

"Come in," Kalshion called.

"Sorry to bother you," the voice added as the sound of shoes being removed was heard. "I have important information, though."

"Regarding what?" Sonic asked.

"Wendy's unconscious state," came the response. A moment later Nadeshiko walked into the room, holding enough scrolls to start a small library with.

"Couldn't you have used a crystal?" Rose asked, looking at the scrolls.

"Hard to," Nadeshiko said. "These are all spell scrolls, given power through various means."

"So what is important enough to come see us over?" Joe asked, sifting through the scrolls.

"I found a way to wake Wendy up," Nadeshiko said.

"HURRY UP AND DO IT THEN," everyone yelled at the same time.

"I can't," Nadeshiko said. "Sonic, Rose, Emeral, and Joe have to do it."

"Then tell us what to do," Emeral said, plopping herself down next to the pile of scrolls.

"There is an issue with that," Nadeshiko said. "You can't do it here."

"Why not?" Sonic asked. "Wendy is here, after all."

"You have to do it from inside her mind," Nadeshiko said.

In the headquarters of the Nexial Matrix Seismic Research Institute

"What was that?" a scientist-like spirit asked.

"Whatever it was," an orange being answered. "It shook half the Nexial Matrix."

"What was the origin?" the first scientist asked.

"A small shrine in the MFM sector of the MFM Matrix," the orange being answered.

"Why did they name the matrix and the area around his node after him?" a young looking girl asked.

"You weren't around when he almost killed us all," the orange being responded.

"Who said anything about almost," the spirit interjected. "He scared me, quite literally, to death."

"Crybaby," the young looking girl said.

Back in the shrine

"Well," Kalshion said, looking at the four holes in the shrine's floor. "How do they get in her mind?"

"The bathroom," Nadeshiko said. "They have to get lost beyond lost."

"Wait," Sonic said, popping up out of one of the holes. "Some of us can navigate the bathroom."

"Then you have to follow those that can't," Nadeshiko said. "And not only that, you have to do it in 'Oh my lord' mode."

"How long do we have to stay lost?" Rose asked, climbing out of another hole.

"Three days, three hours, three minutes, three seconds," Nadeshiko said, consulting her notes. "Something here about three antiyears as well, whatever those are."

"Ok," Emeral said, pulling herself out of another hole. "Then we should probably get going."

"I am ready when you are," Joe said from his hole. "Any chance someone can get me out of this well I just uncovered, though?"

Three hours, three minutes, three seconds later

"Well," Joe said, putting on his backpack. "Here we go."

"Have fun," Katarina said.

"Now to go where no living thing has gone before," Sonic said. "And, most likely, will never go again."

With that comment the four stepped into the portal to the bathroom, the portal promptly vanishing. They found themselves in a small, white room with two thousand doors.

How the hell two thousand doors fit in the small, white room was anyone's guess, but they were all there anyway.

Sonic and Joe followed Rose and Emeral, who started wandering aimlessly. As they did so they discovered that they couldn't leave the center of the room, but that the room changed drastically with every step they took.

"This could drive any normal human insane," Sonic said.

"It is threatening to drive me insane right now," Joe countered.

"So how are you two navigating?" Sonic said, changing the topic.

"Shhh," Rose said. "We are playing Mario cart Advance against each other."

"Why didn't we think of that?" Joe asked.

"You didn't," Sonic said, holding up two gameboys and a couple of link cables. "Shall we join them?"

"Sure thing," Joe said. A moment later the two player Mario cart game was a four player Mario cart game.

Interestingly enough, this went on for three days, three hours, three minutes, and three seconds. At that point, all four crashed horribly in the battle they were currently in, and all lost their last balloon.

Somewhere in Paris

"Get back here you Letch!", Katarina yelled as she jumped from the top of the Paris Tower.

She landed on the ground, her leg straight out the other in a kneeling position. She sprinted forward and almost caught Happosai, but missed and ended up on top of a guy.

Meanwhile, back at the shrine

Kalshion sat in front of the T.V. watching a news show.

"In other news, we just got word of two people... or rather one person and one thing jumping up on top of the Paris Tower," the reporter said.

"KAT!", Kalshion yelled.

Katarina walked out of the bathroom, her hair dyed a hard brown color. "What?"

"Nice hair do..", Kalshion said.

She looked at the mirror then back at him. "It'll do.. what is it?"

"Look at this report", Kalshion said.

"Hmm?", Katarina walked over and watched the T.V.

"Now we just got word that they're in New York... wait... New York?! How'd they get there so fast.." the reporter continued.

Back in the Bathroom

"Ummmm," Emeral said, looking around. "I would continue walking, but I ran out of floor."

"Welcome to three antiyear point," a mysterious disembodied voice called. "I hope you have had a nice trip, I hope to see you next fall."

"Thanks," Rose said. "I think."

With that the four started to fall, but not before they saw two kids running by in the distance. One appeared to be an eight year old boy, the other a twelve year old girl.

"I told you we took a wrong turn back there," the younger boy said.

"Shut up Oak," the older girl said. "If we concentrate we should be able to be home by dinner."

"Who are they?" Emeral asked.

"No clue," Sonic said. "Although there is something familiar about them."

"Is anyone else worried that we are falling through an endless void?" Joe asked. He quickly regretted it, however, as the four suddenly hit solid ground, an entire world appearing around them.

"Where are we?" Rose said, looking around. "Or is it when are we?"

"You are where you are supposed to be," a young boy told them. A young boy they all knew hadn't been there a second ago.

"Where would that be?" Sonic asked, getting up.

"Currently," the boy said, gesturing around them. "You are in the field of dreams. Not a bad place to be, just don't wander into the forest of nightmares by accident."

"Any chance you can give us directions?" Rose asked as Sonic helped her up.

"Sure thing," the boy said. "To get out of the field of dreams you just follow the cursed road of torment."

"Somehow that doesn't sound like a good idea," Joe said. "Assuming we could see a road to begin with."

"The road isn't bad," the boy said. "The torment part is that it is cursed to be almost impossible to find when you are looking for it."

"Hmmm," Sonic said, thinking. "I get the feeling that we need to do the opposite of what we did to get here."

"Lets try that theory out," Joe said.

"Works for me," Rose said. "Lead the way boys."

Thirteen seconds later the four were walking down the road, wondering where it went.

"Lets see," Emeral said, reading over Nadeshiko's notes. "We need to find the central hub, whatever that is."

"That looks like the exit from the field," Rose said, pointing at a giant, golden gate, the doors wide open, at the end of the road.

"It also looks like this road continues on for a long time after it," Sonic said, squinting as he looked into the distance. "Very odd."

"Somehow I think you are wrong," Joe said as they approached the gate. "I think we are about to have a sudden change in scenery."

"What makes you say that?" Rose asked as they stepped through the gate.

"Oh," Joe said as Rose's jaw dropped. "I have my reasons."

The four were no longer on a road going through a giant field, but rather in the middle of a giant city. A city with no apparent laws of physics, as people were quite literally everywhere. Taking a better look, the four realized that the city was just one of many, each one seeming to be a small piece of a giant chain that they could see going off into the distance. Every so often another chain would branch off of what they assumed was the main one, each of those also having chains branching off of them.

"We really need to find something to tell us what is going on," Sonic said, looking around.

"This terminal seems awfully nicely placed," Emeral said, tapping a terminal sitting in front of the group.

"Very much so," Joe said. "Considering it wasn't there a second ago."

"Lets see," Sonic said, activating the terminal. "We are in MM's mind alright. Which do we want to learn about first, the general way this place works, or how to find what we are looking for?"

"I think we need to have some idea of how this place works before we try to go anywhere," Rose said.

"Good idea," Sonic said, tapping that option. A moment later the four found themselves in a movie theatre with popcorn, soda, and candy.

"First off," a voice came over the speakers. "You were here." The screen lit up with a map of the area the four had been in a moment before, the field of dreams entrance marked. "Now you are here," the voice continued. The map zoomed out, showing the chain they had been on. It zoomed out some more, showing that the chains made up a kind of web. It zoomed out even further, showing that the webs made up larger webs. It zoomed out yet further, showing that the webs formed a kind of universe. Yet it continued to zoom out, showing other universes. Finally it stopped, and a line went from the red dot in the universe they had been in to another red dot in another universe.

"How about a general statement of where we are," Sonic said, sipping on his soda.

"Alright then," the voice said. "You are in the thought core of one self-declared Master of Magic, Entertainment universe six, arm three, planet three thousand forty two, theatre two thousand fifty eight."

"I am sorry you asked," Joe said. "What is a thought core?"

"You will find out when you are older," the voice said. "Now, lets get on to business."

The screen zoomed out again, further and further until nothing could be discerned. Then it expanded outwards, above the seats, and took on various coloring.

"Currently you can see the general population densities for various areas of the thought core," the voice said. "White areas have no population, black areas are highly overcrowded."

"What white areas?" Rose asked. "I see various bits of black, red, green, purple, and orange, but no white."

"There are no white areas," the voice said. "Blue would be light population, green is medium, orange is medium-high, purple is high, red is higher still, and black is over capacity."

"What kind of scale are we looking at here?" Emeral asked. "Hard to tell when you can't make out any detail."

"In this image the planet you are on would be a tenth of a quark in diameter," the voice said. "I think."

"Ok," Sonic said. "Now that we know we are mere specs in this place, what about the way this place works do we need to know?"

"This particular thought core operates as the sum off all the permanent inhabitants inside of it," the voice said. "It also has an absorption rate higher then any other thought core currently in existence. The general idea is that you have to convince one more then half of the people here to change something in order to change it on the outside."

"How often does that happen?" Joe asked.

"So far," the voice said, pausing. "I think three times a long time ago when there were less then twenty inhabitants. At this point, the thought core does pretty much anything it feels like, as there is no majority vote taking place for any given action. That is very rare in a thought core, actually."

"Is that all the people here do," Rose asked. "Influence decisions?"

"No," the voice said. "Each person here contributes to the overall power of the thought core. The more people here, the more power the core has."

"Ok," Sonic said. "Any chance you can tell us where the central hub is?"

"Very good question," the voice said as the screen shrunk back into a flat plane. "Unfortunately," the voice continued as a giant question mark appeared on the screen. "For security reasons, nobody knows."

"Great," Joe said. "That means we have to search the entire place for it."

"Well," the voice said. "I suppose a single, solitary inhabitant of this thought core knows."

"WHO," the four yelled.

"A very interesting new inhabitant," the voice said. "Hasn't been around long at all, really, and is very odd in that she is one of a kind."

"JUST TELL US WHO IT IS," Rose yelled, pulling out a giant mallet.

"OK ALREADY," the voice said. "IT IS DARK ROSE, OK?"

"How does Dark Rose know where the central hub is?" Rose asked.

"She is the only one here created from inside of it," the voice answered.

"How is that possible?" Rose asked. "She was made from part of ME!"

"Wrong Dark Rose," the voice said.

"I do NOT want to know right now," Sonic said, walking out of the room. "I will be out looking for Dark Rose, unless anyone has any better idea then just searching?"

"I have a better idea," the voice said. "Use the teleporters. Hang a left down the hall, fourth door in the ceiling."

"Thanks," Joe said.

Once they were outside the room, they looked up at the ceiling. The five mile high ceiling.

"HOW DO WE GET UP THERE?" Emeral finally yelled. "What are we supposed to do, WALK UP THE WALLS?"

"Yep," Joe said, standing on the wall. "This is inside a mind. Laws of physics need not apply."

"Right," Emeral said, a giant sweat drop appearing on her face. "I forgot about that."

"Actually," Joe said, grinning. "Why walk?" With that Joe floated off the wall and towards the ceiling.

"Why fly," Sonic yelled from next to the correct door. "Just think yourself here."

"Works for me," Emeral said, appearing next to Sonic. "Wait, if we can do that, why do we need teleporters?"

"We don't know where things are yet," Rose said. "As such, we need something that does to direct us."

"Then lets get going," Joe said, opening the door. Inside the group found a closet with a panel on the wall.

"Right," Sonic said, tapping the panel. "Where do we want to go?"

"Lets try the direct route," Emeral said. "Central Hub."

"Error," a voice said. "I do not know how to get to the central hub."

"Ok then," Rose said. "The closest point to Dark Rose you can get us."

"Error," the voice repeated. "There are two Dark Rose's I can get you to. Would you like the one inside the thought core, or outside of it."

"Inside, I guess," Rose said. Two seconds before that the group found themselves sitting on top of someone.

Closer examination revealed that someone to be Dark Rose.

"Nice of you to drop in," Dark Rose said. "Or rather, I think you popped in. Either way, could you get off my back?"

"Sorry," Emeral said, staring at Dark Rose as the group climbed off her. "Why are you here, anyway?"

"I'm not," Dark Rose responded. "My real body is lost in the bathroom. Well, actually, currently it is enjoying the spa sector. Lucky girl."

"What?" Rose said. "How is that possible? WE WERE JUST SITTING ON YOU."

"I am a partial copy," Dark Rose responded. "Hard to explain. So, what do you want?"

"We need to find the central hub," Sonic said. "We were told you are the only one here that knows where it is."

"Yep," Dark Rose said. "I know where it is. Hard to get to. Very confusing."

"Any chance of you telling us where it is?" Joe asked.

"Not unless you can catch me," Dark Rose said, grinning. "TELEPORTER MAIN COMPUTER, DISABLE ALL TELEPORTERS."

"Central Hub Teleporter Main Computer acknowledges request," a mysterious voice sounded. "All teleporters disabled by order of the protector of the hub."

"Bye now," Dark Rose said, vanishing.

"We do WAY too much chasing of people," Sonic said. "But I think this takes the cake. How do we find her in this place?"

"You don't," a familiar voice said. Turning around, the group saw Rose. Or rather, another Rose.

"We know exactly where she is," came another familiar voice, soon revealed to be another Sonic.

"You just can't get there," came the voice of yet another Rose.

"As only she knows where there is," yet another Sonic added.

"How many of us are in here?" Sonic asked, checking to make sure he was in fact himself.

"Too many," Rose said, doing pretty much the same thing.

"Two billion, three hundred twenty seven million, five hundred fifty eight thousand, two hundred forty six," a chorus of voices called from over the hill. "Give or take a million."

The group willed themselves over the hill, to find themselves looking at a sea of Sonics and Roses. No two were identical, however. Each one seemed to look or act slightly differently then all the others.

"What about us?" Emeral asked.

"You want sector Pre-Quantum nine for that," a Rose answered.

"Right," Joe said. "Don't suppose any of you have any clue as to how to get to Dark Rose right now?"

"Find the central hub," a Sonic responded.

"We need her to do that," Emeral said, sounding annoyed.

"Then you are out of luck," a Rose smirked.

"How do you all keep track of who is who?" Sonic said.

"We are all part of the same mind," a Sonic responded. "Thus, we know each other instantly on sight."

"Sounds nice," Rose said. "So because we DON'T know you on sight, we know we are the originals?"

"That is about it," a Q that suddenly appeared responded.

"Q!" the sea yelled. "GET BACK TO YOUR OWN SECTOR!"

"Sorry," Q said. "I am the original."

"Oh," a mixture of individuals from the sea said. "So you are. Sorry about that."

"How did you get in here?" Sonic asked. "We had a hard enough time doing it."

"I took a wrong turn at the showers," Q said. "I was hoping to join the real Dark Rose in the spa."

"Pervert," Rose said with a disgusted look on her face.

"She INVITED me," Q said, glaring at Rose.

"I wasn't talking about YOU," Rose said.

"You know," Sonic said, looking out over the sea. "If I wasn't looking at a couple billion copies of myself and my wife, I might be jealous."

"He has a point there," Joe said.

"Then again," Sonic said, grinning at Joe.

"Jealousy is strong," Joe said, grinning right back.

"Don't do anything brash," Q said, backing up a little. A moment later Sonic and Joe appeared in front of him holding giant swords. A moment after that Q was banished back to the bathroom by dual quantum shockwaves.

"Nice," Sonic said. "I didn't know you could do that."

"I don't think I can," Joe said. "But since when does that stop you here?"

"How did you two do that?" a Sonic asked. "We can't do anything like that here."

"So you have to follow whatever laws of physics seem to exist in the areas you are in?" Rose said.

"Yea," the Sonic replied. "We might as well be human."

"Then how did Dark Rose vanish like that?" Emeral asked. "She should have the same restrictions as you do."

"For some reason she doesn't," a Rose said. "She likes to tease us about that."

"Since we can do the impossible," Sonic said, grinning. "I say we split up to search."

"So we can search the seemingly infinite spans of the thought core in a quarter of infinity?" Rose said, glaring at Sonic.

"No," Sonic said, floating higher. "I say we split up more then that." With that Sonic became two Sonics, then four, then eight, then thirty-two, then sixty-four, over and over again until there were one million forty eight thousand five hundred seventy six of him floating there.

"Wow," Rose said as Emeral and Joe started to do the same. They had to stop at one hundred thirty one thousand seventy two, however.

"Apparently we can't do it forever," Rose said. "My turn." With that Rose duplicated Sonic's efforts.

Once their army was finished forming it spread out, methodically covering the entire thought core from end to end, top to bottom, side to side. With the increased numbers the search went by much more quickly.

By much more quickly, we mean that they searched for three months instead of three centuries.

Thus, it was three months later that the four recombined into four and met in a bar in bar sector eight. They had found no sign of Dark Rose, and were wondering if they ever would.

Meanwhile, in the shrine where this all started

"So far so good," Nadeshiko said.

"How can you say that?" Katarina asked. "They have only been gone for three minutes."

"I don't know," Nadeshiko responded. "I just have this feeling that they made it already."

Lets go back to the search

The four are no longer in the bar, which is driving the camera crew nuts. It would seem our few seconds outside checking up on the shrine was several hours in here, and the group has moved onto another location. Give us a moment to find them. In the meantime, lets go to the Dark Rose feed.

"Fools," Dark Rose said. "They will never catch me while I sit here in the central hub."

"Of course not," Joe said. "That would be too easy. We have to find a way to draw you out first."

"How did you do that?" Dark Rose said, jumping at Joe. "You aren't supposed to know where this is!"

"Sorry," Joe said. "I was taking my lunch break."

"Oh," Dark Rose said. "Sorry then. Didn't mean to snap at you like that."

"Besides," Joe said. "You are in the fake central hub in studio six."

"Dang," Dark Rose said. "I thought I missed by a few sectors." With that Dark Rose vanished once more, presumably to the real central hub.

"So where to now," Sonic asked. "Since we have no good leads on Dark Rose, we could catch a movie."

"I seem to recall part of each of us getting together last week and watching twenty movies straight," Emeral said. "About the same time we played golf, video games, role playing games, paintball, every sport in existence, several sports that wouldn't work outside of here, and saw that concert."

"Right," Sonic said. "Ok then, why don't we try brainstorming ideas for finding Dark Rose?"

"Or you could ask me," a familiar voice said. Looking over, the four saw MM standing a few meters away.

"Are you inside of your own mind?" Sonic asked, looking at MM.

"Yep," MM said. "In this thought core, the only way to know yourself is to have a copy of yourself inside of yourself."

"Ok," Rose said. "By the way, I could have sworn MM said he only had FIVE minds inside of his head, you just implied that ALL of the residents here are in his head?"

"Well, he isn't exactly knowledgeable about his internal makeup," MM said. "Hard to be, really. He can't truly look inside here, after all. Perhaps you should inform him that he does have many more then five minds going on at once."

"Makes sense," Sonic said. "We don't know much about how we tick either. Can we get on with this now?"

"Sure thing, but first off," MM said, grinning. "I have to do something."

"What would that be?" Rose asked, not liking the grin.

"This," MM said, pulling out a giant mallet and flattening Rose into the ground with it. "I am the only resident here that can do that, by the way."

"What was that for," Rose asked as she peeled herself off the ground.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE IN HERE TRYING TO UNDO?" Emeral, Joe, and Sonic yelled.

"Right," Rose said. "Forgot about that. Sorry."

"Hell is my department," someone said, soon revealed to be one of several million copies of Kia. "Of course, we can't get to it from here. Would you like me to call the real me?"

"No thanks," Rose said.

"I guess you probably want my help now," MM said. "Too bad I just lost interest in doing so."

"WHAT," Rose and Emeral yelled. Sonic and Joe started to back away slowly.

"I said I no longer want to help you," MM responded, pulling out a yo-yo. "Are you two as dumb as you are deaf?"

"Are you sure you don't want to re-phrase that," Emeral said, rolling up her sleeves.

"Actually," MM said, doing a complicated trick with the yo-yo. "You two could probably stand to lose twenty pounds, right above the shoulders."

"Emeral," Rose said with enough emotion in her voice to cause the entire population of the thought core to run for the furthest point they could.

"Rose," Emeral reciprocated, causing the inhabitants of the thought core to push so hard away that the thought core DOUBLED in size.

Wait a minute, where did Sonic and Joe go?

"So this is where the roots for the pineapple trees go," Joe said, looking around at the nuclear waste site in the sewer. "No wonder they explode so well."

"Yea," Sonic said. "Just watch out. The quantum nuclear bombs in this place are really bad for your skin if they blow."

Right, lets go back to Rose and Emeral

"Like you wimps could do anything to me," MM said, making a face with the yo-yo string. "I bet you don't even cause me to flinch."

"ULTIMATE CURSE BREAKER," Rose and Emeral screamed at the same time, launching giant twin energy blasts at MM. The resulting explosion rocked the entire thought core, creating a quantum mushroom cloud visible from everywhere in the thought core at once. Even without the closed-circuit TV on.

Of course, when the smoke cleared, MM was still standing there, playing with his yo-yo.

"That HURT," Dark Rose said, picking herself up off the ground.

"Told ya you couldn't touch me," MM finally said. "Of course, this is my mind. I control the laws of physics here."

"But what about you," Rose said, pointing a finger at Dark Rose.

"I was relaxing in the spa section of the bathroom," Dark Rose said. "Or was I somewhere else? I feel like two people, but not quite."

"She apparently was pulled here by you two," MM said. "She must have merged with the piece of her that was here, but can't access her other self's memories."

"Which means what," Emeral asked, not liking that MM had gotten off without a scratch but knowing she couldn't do anything about it.

"Which means I am the only one that could help you get at the location you want to get to," MM said. "Currently, I don't trust you to not screw it up."

"So what do we do now?" Dark Rose asked, looking at MM. "For that matter, where the hell are we?"

"For now," MM said, reaching up to a rope that wasn't there a moment ago. "You get flushed for breaking the QAG." MM then pulled the rope, causing toilets to appear under Rose, Emeral, and Dark Rose before anyone could ask what a QAG was. A moment later they were sucked down the toilets, and found themselves dumped to various areas of the bathroom.

"Damn him," Emeral said, looking around at the bathroom. "I have NO HOPE of finding my way out of here."

"Correction," MM said, popping up on a small screen near Emeral. "You currently have a one in two million shot. Computer, switch the bathroom into 'Whimper' mode."

"Bathroom mode change successful," the computer said as the bathroom changed into a swirling mass of color with no source of direction whatsoever.

"Now you have no hope," MM's voice said.

"WHY YOU," Emeral yelled, running towards MM's voice. A moment later she realized that she was back where she started, although she wasn't sure how she knew. She tried running out again, with the same results. Not long after she was on her knees crying, hoping she wouldn't be trapped in this directionless void for the rest of her life.

Five feet away, although impossible to get to that easily, Rose was going through a similar situation. She had already screamed her heart out for a few minutes, and was finally falling into the crying phase herself.

Sonic and Joe were still wondering if it was safe to venture out of the sewer. They decided to continue their staring contest, figuring that the trouble the girls were in was their own fault.

Back in the shrine

"Rose must have tried a curse," Jeremy said, looking into the bathroom.

"What makes you say that," Emily asked.

"The bathroom is in 'Whimper' mode," Jeremy said. "Only dad can do that, but I wouldn't put it past Rose to pull it off anyway."

"Good point," Emily said.

"I wonder how they will make it out of there," Jeremy wondered aloud. "Dad can't even navigate the thing in 'Whimper' mode."

"I can," Emily said, handing Jeremy a bag of popcorn. "The only mode I can navigate, and I don't know why."

"Really," Jeremy said, looking at Emily. "You do know that the thing warps time and space, right?"

"Of course," Emily said. "I would say that if they are stuck in there, over the past couple of minutes it has seemed like days for them."

"Well I know they are stuck in there," Dark Rose said, sipping on a soda. "Well, I don't know about Sonic and Joe, but Rose and Emeral are."

"Then I guess I go in," Emily said, walking into the bathroom. "If I am not back in three centuries."

"Yea?" Jeremy said, raising an eyebrow.

"Keep waiting," Emily said, sticking out her tongue as she vanished.

"Five," Jeremy started counting.

"Four," Dark Rose continued, heading for the door.

"Three," Cologne said, smacking Happosai with her stick.

"Two," Happosai said as he bounced off his own head and out the window, Katarina following him with a mallet. Wait a second........

"One," Jeremy finished, pointing at the door to the bathroom.

"I'm back," Emily said, dragging Rose and Emeral out of the bathroom as Sonic and Joe fell out of an entrance to the sewer in the ceiling.

"You look different," Joe said, looking at Emeral. "Did you do something with your hair in there?"

"No you idiot," Emeral said, pulling out a mallet. "I AGED FIVE YEARS!"

"Oh," Emily said, giggling a little. "Sorry about that. The effect should wear off in a couple of hours."

"It will?" Emeral asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course," Emily said. "On the other hand, you are currently legal to drink, so......"

"WINE HO!" Emeral yelled, throwing the mallet at Joe and missing.

"I wonder," Joe said, watching Emeral down several BOTTLES of wine at once. "What is going to happen when that wine hits her system......"

"She will get drunk," Sonic interrupted. "Duh."

"Just before she reverts to normal," Joe finished.

"Oh," Sonic said, looking at Emeral. "Shit."

"Really," Emily said, making some popcorn. "She never let me finish."

"What do you mean?" Rose asked, melting some butter. "What were you going to say?"

"Not much," Emily said. "Just something along the lines of 'On the other hand, you are currently legal to drink, so I should probably warn you about the side effects of drinking alcohol before you revert back' or something."

"Did you say side effects," Emeral asked, already seeming slightly tipsy. "What kind of side effects?"

"Lets just say if they hit you full force," Emily said, throwing Emeral a bag. "You might need these."

"These look like," Emeral said, opening the bag. "DIAPERS?"

"Yea," Emily said. "Drinking alcohol before regressing to your correct age causes you to lose all control of your bladder and bowels for, oh, three days."

"Ok, that would be a bad thing," Emeral said, pulling out a diaper. "DO THEY HAVE TO HAVE LITTLE HAPPOSAI PERVERTS ON THEM?"

"They turn into flattened Happosai perverts when you mess them," Emily smirked.

"Grrrr," Emeral said, stuffing the diaper back in the bag and storming off.

A few hours later

"I don't wike these diapies," Emeral said, too drunk to walk. "Mean man is on them."

"Serves you right," Rose said. "Getting so drunk you have to crawl around like a baby. You probably couldn't use a bathroom even if you didn't have that side effect."

"Bad room?" Emeral said, looking slightly scared. "Me not want to go to the bad room."

"WHY AM I PLAYING BABYSITTER?" Rose screamed.

"When do I tell her that the diapers are cursed?" Emily asked Sonic.

"Right now you don't even HINT at that around her," Sonic said, picking up a deck of cards. "Poker?"

Three weeks of diaper changing later

"Three days," Rose grumbled, grabbing another diaper to put on Emeral. "This was supposed to last THREE DAYS, and it has been THREE WEEKS."

"Not our fault you accidentally turned Emeral into a child," Joe said, studying his poker hand.

Yes, it is the same poker game from three weeks ago.

"You could have told me the diapers were cursed to begin with," Rose said.

"You could have just followed the directions to reverse the curse," Emily said. "Instead you had to try to make your own cure that regressed her. Your fault."

"You know," MM said, walking into the room. "You haven't checked up on Wendy for three weeks now."

"HOLY SHIT," Sonic, Joe, and Rose yelled. A moment later they ran into the next room, where Wendy was unchanged. A moment later, three holes were in the floor in that room, soon followed by the three climbing out of said holes and walking over to MM.

"If she is still unconscious," Sonic said, grabbing MM.

"Then who the hell are you," Rose continued, grabbing MM's hood to pull it back. Only it wouldn't pull back, she couldn't budge it.

"I am myself," MM said. "But I am also not myself. Such is how things go in the thought core."

"What the hell are you talking about," Joe asked. "You FLUSHED us from the thought core."

"No I didn't," MM smirked. "I flushed you into a holodeck. Computer, end program."

The shrine around the group vanished, as did anyone else that was in it. The five occupants of what appeared to be Voyager's Holodeck 1 stood there. MM pulled out a yo-yo, while Emeral decided to giggle and play with her feet. Sonic, Rose, and Joe fell over in shock.

"So we were alone in an advanced holodeck that entire time," Sonic said, pulling himself off the floor.

"Well," MM said, fiddling with the yo-yo. "Still not sure how, but Katarina and Happosai made a brief visit."

"Ok," Rose said. "So how do we fix Emeral and you?"

"Right," MM said, launching the yo-yo at Emeral. A second later Emeral was back to her original self, diaper less, and glad to be sitting as she wouldn't have been able to stay standing after the sudden restoration.

In New York

Happosai dived into the New York subway system, dodging subway train's.

"You leech! Stop Running and hand over my panties!", Katarina yelled. A train came her way and she watched as Happosai dived through the window and ran down the empty train, Katarina raised her mallet and slammed it down on the door, but instead of it breaking apart the door was forced through the steel flooring and into the ground below. The train began to slow due to the door being in the ground.

She ran down the train and dodged several men who tried to get a hold of her, and nailed a few of them in the process.

The train came screaming down the tunnel, it then opened up into a boarding area where the train came to a stop. Happosai launched himself through the door and up the stairs.

"Get back here!", Katarina yelled as she made her up the stairs that Happosai had just come up.

She ran down the street, dodging Taxi cab's and other car's, watching Happosai as he grabbed other woman Panties that where either hanging down cloth line's or in hampers.

Back at the Shrine

"One of our Camera men just got a shot of the two strange people that where spotted in Paris not to long ago One is apparently an old man, the other a female but she doesn't look familiar, or pretty for that matter", said the male reporter.

Back in New York

Katarina heard that and brought her mallet down on the Male Reporter, then continued the chase.

Back at the Shrine

"Hmmm, something just happened to him", Said Kalshion as he bit into his sandwich.

"I recognize that old man, but the other person I don't", Katarina said while trying to figure who the lady was.

At the great zero of the thought core

"Great zero," Sonic said, looking around. "Not bad. How does it help us?"

"For now," MM said, looking at the great zero. "It doesn't. It is turned off, and only I know how to turn it on again."

"So turn it on," Rose said. "We don't have all century."

"I can't," MM said. "I have to have permission to do so."

"Permission from WHO?" Joe asked, kicking a pebble. "If you can turn it on, just do it."

"Permission from the thought core," MM said. "I have to declare the general reason I wish to turn it on, namely helping you, and see what the vote says."

"Go for it," Emeral said. "Wait, what happened to my headache?"

"The great zero doesn't tolerate headaches," MM said. "It will return after the decision is made, but not before."

"Great," Emeral said. "Time-delay headache. Can we get on with this?"

"Ok then," MM said, walking up to a microphone. "I, the image of the form we take on as a whole, request permission to start the great zero. I request to do this in order to help those that have come claiming to try and fix what they inadvertently did to us."

"Is that it?" Sonic asked. "That is all you had to do?"

"Now we wait," MM said. "And hope this doesn't do what I think it will."

The votes are being cast over the next..........oh wait, never mind, they just finished

"Lets see," MM said, walking back up to the microphone. "The votes are in. We have a dead tie between 'Turn it on', 'Leave it off', and 'screw you, I was in the shower'."

"What is that red light?" Joe asked, pointing at a red light on the microphone. "It just came on."

"That is what I was hoping wouldn't happen," MM said. "Although I thought it would a two-sided thing. At any rate, civil war has just erupted outside of the great zero."

"So we are safe in here?" Rose said.

"Yes," MM said. "Although the war isn't based on the question posed, but on what to do with you two."

"Then let them have them," Sonic and Joe said, grabbing Rose and Emeral and throwing them into the auto ejector pods in the wall.

"Why did you do that?" MM asked. "There is a WAR going on out there."

"A war caused directly or indirectly by their combined actions," Sonic said.

"They deserve it," Joe said.

"You do know that civil wars here are notoriously short," MM said. "Right?"

"How short?" Sonic asked.

"This one should have finished two minutes ago short," MM said. "This is officially the longest civil war to have EVER occurred before."

"Why are they so short?" Joe asked. "You have so many different people here."

"Nobody can be hurt," MM said. "Thus, we tend to realize immediately that we aren't going to get anywhere."

"Wait a minute," Sonic said. "Can't Rose and Emeral be hurt?"

"And we just threw them out there," Joe said.

"Where is the door to get in here?" Sonic asked, looking around.

"You are standing on it," MM said. "Keeping it from being opened by Rose and Emeral, who have been trying pretty much constantly since you threw them out."

"OH," Sonic said, jumping back. No sooner did he do so then the door opened, Rose and Emeral jumped in, chased by an explosion, and the door shut again.

Sonic and Joe blinked, during which the door went from open able to sealed in concrete.

"What happened to you two," Sonic asked, looking at Rose and Emeral as they sat on the concrete panting. "Your clothes are mostly gone, you are covered in dirt, and is your hair singed?"

"WE WERE THE ONLY HURTABLE TARGETS IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT CIVIL WAR," Rose screamed, cracking the concrete. "WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED TO US?"

"You are ok though," Joe said.

"I am," Rose said. "Emeral was caught in an explosion, she has a temporary lack of hearing."

"Ouch," Joe said.

"I do have a question for you," Rose asked. "How did we get out there?"

"What do you mean?" Sonic asked, raising an eyebrow.

"One second we were being told there was a civil war out there," Rose said. "The next thing I knew, we were in the middle of it."

"I don't know," Sonic said, giving Joe a 'do NOT open your mouth' look that Rose missed.

"I heard that!" Emeral said, jumping up. "I CAN HEAR AGAIN!"

"Good," Rose said. "I didn't find out how we got out there."

"DAMNIT," Emeral said. "So, what was the outcome of the war? Will you help us?" Emeral asked MM.

"The results were inconclusive," MM said. "Everyone forgot what side they were on and shot at you instead. However, the second voting has me helping you by two votes."

"Two votes?" Sonic said. "It was that close?"

"No," MM said. "Only two people bothered to vote the second time."

"Then turn this thing on," Joe said.

"Ok then," MM said, pushing a giant green button labeled 'On' that the group had completely overlooked before. A moment later there was a bright flash that overcame the entire thought core.

In the Shrine

"Did Wendy just FLASH?" Kalshion asked, scratching his head.

"I think so," Cologne said. "I wonder why."

On the bridge of the Enterprise, in the Thought Core

"Actually," MM said. "This is a combination of all the bridges of all spaceships ever created. It just looks like the Enterprise from where the camera is."

Yea, get technical on me

"So why are we here?" Rose asked, looking around.

"Not so loud," Emeral said. "I have a killer headache."

"No you don't," MM yelled.

"DIE!" Emeral screamed, pulling out a Nexial Elimination Mallet and attempting to hit MM with it. She missed, however, when she went unconscious due to the massive headache she obtained from the strain.

"Now you do," MM said, grinning. "As for why you are here, this is level one of the central hub."

"So we can find Dark Rose and get instructions for getting to where we need to be now?" Joe asked.

"No," MM said, pointing at where Emeral's mallet had landed. "Emeral just obliterated what was left of the fake, so to speak, Dark Rose." Sure
enough, the remains of Dark Rose's clothing was sitting under the mallet.

"Why are the two instigators on this trip again?" Sonic asked, tapping the clothing with his foot.

"Because Nadeshiko said they have to do the final step," Joe said. "Unfortunately, they can only do it from here."

"What is the final step?" MM asked. "I haven't bothered stealing your instructions to copy them yet."

"They have to attempt to curse the thought core itself from within the central hub," Joe said, reading off the instructions. "Specifically, curse it to expand into infinity."

"RED ALERT," a conglomeration of computer voices said. "Emergency eject into main thought core initiated. Sealing intruders out of central hub."

"WHAT?" Sonic yelled.

"WHY?" Rose added.

"No time," the computer voices said. "Bye now."

With that the group found themselves sitting in a field in the forest sector, Emeral still unconscious.

"What was that about?" Joe asked.

"You don't get it," MM said. "The central hub is the ONLY PLACE in the thought core where ANY curse attempted by ANYONE is guaranteed to succeed. If they had attempted that curse from there then instead of the expected failure and fix all control would have been lost and the Nexial Matrix would have been destroyed."

"SO NOW WHAT DO WE DO?" Emeral asked, somehow coming out of her unconscious state.

"You find my daughter," MM said. "Now, you should probably find a teleporter to vacate the thought core. Try exit five, should get you right to the shrine."

"I think I will go with the bathroom exit," Sonic said, opening a door to a transporter in a tree. "Exit five doesn't sit well with me."

"Like I care?" MM said, walking away into the forest.

"Where does exit five go?" Rose asked as they piled into the transporter.

"Lets just say it isn't a pleasant route," Joe said, pinching his nose.

"You don't mean," Emeral said, gesturing to her backside.

"That would be it," Sonic and Joe said at the same time.

"YUCK," Rose and Emeral yelled.

"WARNING," the computer said as Sonic pushed the activate button. "Coordinates invalid. Picking random coordinates in Sewer. Coordinates selected. Teleporting."

"NO!" Sonic, Rose, Joe, and Emeral yelled at the same time. Too bad they yelled it too late as they were dumped into the sewer, right into the 'Hall of Crap'.

"I think I would have rather used exit five," Sonic said. "Lets get to the janitor's office so we can get to the main bathroom and clean up."

"Easy for you to say," Emeral said, looking rather sick as she picked herself up out of a pile of crap. "You and Joe landed in the MIDDLE of the room. Rose and myself landed IN THE CRAP."

"Don't complain," the janitor said, coming around the corner. "My office is right around the corner."

"I thought the hall of crap was on the other side of the sewer from your office," Rose said, straining not to get grossed out.

"It was," the janitor said. "Until I installed five thousand new doors to my office, so I can get to and from it with ease. Better still, they all appear to be the same door INSIDE the office."

"Then get us to the showers," Emeral said.

"Sure thing," the janitor said, motioning for them to follow him.

Three days later

"I finally feel clean," Emeral said. "Although I don't know why I put a diaper on."

"Remains of the cursed one," Rose said. "At least, that is my guess."

"Doesn't explain why you have one on," Sonic said, walking in from the other side of the room.

"What?" Rose said, looking down and seeing that she was, indeed, wearing a diaper. "What gives?"

"Hey you three," Joe said, coming in from yet another door. "Girls, why did you use the baby shower?"

"What do you mean?" Rose and Emeral asked, turning around to look at the shower they had used. Sure enough, the woman's shower was right next to the baby's shower, and they had used the wrong one.

"Guess that explains the diapers," Sonic said. "At least you won't need them, the shower just makes you more comfortable in one for a couple of hours after using it."

"In that case," Rose and Emeral said, walking into the woman's shower. "We can take them off."

A moment later they returned, looking slightly less comfortable, but not wearing diapers. The group then headed out to return to the shrine, wondering why Emily hadn't done anything to help Wendy if she was the one that was supposed to be able to.

She is MM's only daughter, right?

Back in New York, or rather the outskirts

Happosai and Katarina made there way up and over each mountain that they came across, military choppers and fighter jet's following them.

"I think we've gained a lot of attention", Katarina said to no one in particular as she looked over her shoulder and saw some military apache helicopters following them, one of them had a camera on it. "I don't mind a shot but taking shots of my ass is unacceptable", she said and threw her mallet at the camera, the mallet smashed through the camera then returned to her.

In the wrong Japan in the wrong Matrix in the wrong Nexial Matrix

"WHERE ARE WE?" Sonic yelled as a jet plane passed a dragon overhead.

"You are in dragon nine," a little girl said. "Node sixteen, matrix forty six, nexial matrix seven. Well, we think we are nexial matrix seven, we never did figure that out for sure."

"How did you know we needed to know more then the standard name of the town?" Rose asked, looking at the girl.

"You came out of the bathroom," the girl said. "Nobody in this nexial matrix can get into the bathroom, let alone leave it."

"That answers that question," Sonic said. "Now, where are Joe and Emeral?"

"The two that looked a lot like you but aren't you?" the girl asked.

"Yes," Sonic said. "How did you know that? For that matter, how do you people know the bathroom exists if you can't get into it?"

"First, the two that came out with you fell into the transport tube behind you and are probably at the great gate now," the girl said. "Second, we know about the bathroom because the great gate leads to it, but it won't let us through it."

"You seem very smart for your age," Rose said. "How old are you, anyway?"

"Two hundred forty six," the girl said, grinning.

"Oy," Rose said. "Where is the great gate, so we can find those that came with us?"

"Just hop in the transport tube behind you," the girl said. "It will take you right to it."

"Ok," Rose said, throwing Sonic in before hopping in herself. The tube sucked them up about twenty feet to the balcony they had been standing under before spitting them out in front of a giant gate.

"You would think they would have put stairs in front of this thing," Emeral said. "Instead of a balcony and a one-way transport tube from twenty feet below the balcony."

"Can we go now?" Sonic asked, walking over to the gate. "We need to get back to OUR matrix."

"Not yet you can't," the gate said. "First you must prove you are authorized to enter the bathroom."

"We need authorization," Sonic said. "Authorization to go into the place we came out of after attempting to reverse what Rose did to MM by going into his thought core. Authorization to try and get back to where we BELONG?"

"Actually," the gate said. "Knowing about MM and his thought core is authorization enough for ya. What Nexial Matrix would you like to go to?"

"Which one is MM in?" Rose asked.

"Zero," the gate said. "You are currently in nine."

"They think it is seven," Joe said. "Or at least, I think that is what that girl said. Harder to hear from the balcony."

"It is seven," the gate said. "At least, the other half of it is, which is where the research was done. Somehow seven and nine merged."

"Well," Emeral said. "If MM is in zero, we want to go to zero."

"Unfortunately," the gate said. "I don't have access to zero."

"Let me guess," Sonic said. "You can get us to six, or to anything above nine."

"No," the gate said. "I can get you to seven or eight, you have to use seven to get to six, and I can get you to anything above nine."

"You also can't get us to the gate itself," Joe said. "Because that would be too easy. You can only get us to a random location in the general area of the gate, right?"

"No," the gate said. "I can get you to the gate itself, but all gates seven and below require riddles or logic problems to be answered."

"DAMNIT," Rose yelled, shaking the nexial matrix they were in.

"Sorry, I forgot," the gate said. "Gate One doesn't have a riddle or logic problem, but you won't like it anyway. Shall I get you on your way?"

"Why not," Joe said. "Better then standing around here."

"One last warning," the gate said as it opened. "This and the gate I am going to send you to now follow similar laws of physics to the ones you are used to. That won't really happen again until you reach your destination, although you may not notice it each time."

"Just get us," Sonic started saying, before the four were engulfed in a bright light.

A moment later, the four were standing in front of another gate.

"Out of...." Sonic didn't quite finish. "That was fast."

"Gate Nine told me you want to go to Nexial Matrix Zero," the gate said in a whiny little girl's voice. "To get to Nexial Matrix Six you have to answer my riddle."

"Why do we have to answer your riddle?" Emeral asked. "It isn't like any gates ABOVE you need a riddle answered, is it?"

"Because I am bored and want some entertainment," the gate said. "Not being able to see, smell, or touch, riddles are pretty much the best I can get and still use my intelligence."

"Figures," Rose said. "Riddle please."

"Here ya go," the gate said. "A man while looking at a photograph said, 'Brothers and sisters have I none. That man's father is my father's son.' Who was the person in the photograph?"

"Lets see," Sonic said. "He has no brothers or sisters, so his father's son has to be himself. Thus, he has to be the man's father, so the man must be the person's son."

"Good job," the gate said. "The people of these two Nexial Matrixies couldn't have gotten that if they had wanted to."

"Why not?" Rose asked.

"Hasn't been a man in it for five billion years," the gate said. "No clue how they survive though."

"So," Joe said. "Any hints as to what to expect at the next stop?"

"Water," the gate said as a couple of scuba suits appeared in front of Joe and Emeral. "You may want to put those on before you go."

"Where are the bathrooms?" Emeral asked.

"Bah," the gate said, a bright flash causing the scuba suits to appear ON Joe and Emeral. "Can I send you on your way now?"

"Alright," Rose said. A moment later the four vanished, but the scuba suits didn't go with them.

"Ooops," the gate said. "Oh well. Sucks to be them."

Meanwhile, the four had appeared in front of a giant gate in the middle of a seemingly endless universe of water. Had they had time to properly explore it, they would have found it to be about the size of the matrix and lit by some unknown light, but since they don't have that kind of time they don't know that.

"Should I be mad at that gate?" Emeral asked.

"Given that we are here," Joe said. "Not to mention alive and breathing, I think we got off ok, even if we don't have many clothes on."

"Seashell bra for Emeral," Rose said, taking out a camera. "Otherwise, wearing nothing but the scales on your new tails."

"TAILS?" Emeral and Joe said, finally looking down to see they were merpeople.

"That explains why they didn't die instantly," Sonic said. "This must be a very interesting nexial matrix, with all the water."

"Which way is up?" Joe finally asked, realizing that the light came from everywhere yet nowhere, not to mention a lack of gravity.

"What is this 'up' you speak of?" the gate boomed. "Never heard of such a thing."

"Too hard to explain," Emeral said. "What do we have to answer to get past you?"

"You have intrigued me," the gate said. "Normally I give a complicated, near impossible riddle. Instead, I will settle for a description of what this 'up' is."

"Can we hear the riddle to see if that would be easier?" Sonic asked.

"How can you prove that a man has three heads?" the gate boomed.

"I think that might be easier," Emeral said. "Either that, or both are impossible."

"Lets go see if we can find someone who MIGHT be able to help us," Sonic said. "I think there is a community somewhere to the......."

"Lets call it 'behind where Emeral is floating' for now," Rose said.

"Yea," Sonic said.

"That would be 30 degrees nova, 93 degrees vega" the gate boomed.

"Wait," Sonic said. "Can you give us a visible line of 0 degrees nova and 90 degrees vega?"

"Sure thing," the gate boomed as a red and a purple line appeared in the water. "The red one is nova, the purple one is vega, represented as if I were absolute zero."

"Well then," Sonic said, looking at the lines. "In that case, that purple line is what we would call 'up'."

"Damn," the gate squeaked. "I was hoping for something more impressive."

"What happened to your booming voice?" Joe asked.

"It comes and goes," the gate squeaked. "I guess I have to send you on your way now, don't I."

"YES," Rose and Emeral said, just before the four vanished.

"Does that say three thousand, two hundred fifty four?" Rose asked, looking at the top of the gate they had just appeared in front of.

"Weren't you supposed to be at gate five?" a small man sitting next to the gate reading a newspaper asked them.

"We thought so," Sonic said. "Why are we here?"

"Gate six is dyslexic," the man said. "Always finds a way to send people here instead of gate five."

"So does that mean you can send us to gate five?" Joe asked.

"That depends," the man said. "Have you even noticed what happened to ya?"

"What do you mean," Emeral said, looking down at herself. It took her a moment to realize that she was, for lack of a better term, in 'Chibi' form. A few moments later she realized she wasn't even female.

"Not only am I a girl," Joe said, pulling some long blond hair forward. "But I am a chibi girl. Somehow, I think I prefer this to having a tail. At least here there is an UP."

"That is where your problems begin," the man said. "Sonic and Rose, being quantum beings, are exempt from these rules. Emeral there has no issues, you do, because only chibi females that pass a specific test can get through this gate to the gate it is currently linked to."

"That seems rather unfair," Emeral said. "We get gender-swapped and at least one of us is expected to pass a gender identity test?"

"Blame gate six," the man said. "I told you it was dyslexic. It got your genders backwards."

"How hard can being a girl be?" Joe asked.

"Considering your period starts at midnight," the man said. "Pretty hard."

"Periods aren't THAT bad," Emeral said, looking at the man.

"Not where you come from," the man said. "In this place a woman's period causes pain you would normally associate with having your skin peeled off one layer at a time. That is why half the women here are insane, the pain drives them to it the first time they have a period."

"How often do they have one?" Sonic asked. "Once a month, or is the time period different here?"

"Once every ten years," the man said. "Given that we live an average of a thousand years and are fully matured at age one we feel it is often enough."

"How long will the period last?" Joe asked, fear in her eyes.

"Oh, a day or two tops," the man said. "Unless you had pizza for lunch, then it might last a week."

"Good thing I skipped lunch," Joe said.

"I suggest we get some sleep," Emeral said. "You are going to need your rest."

"Good idea," Joe agreed. "But where do we sleep?"

"You want to sleep for five minutes?" Rose asked, pointing at a clock tower nearby.

"Damnit," Joe sighed. "So much for that idea."

The four stood there in silence as Joe watched the clock tick down to midnight. As the last few seconds ticked away Joe got very nervous.

Finally, the clock hit midnight, and Joe started laughing uncontrollably. Everyone just stared, wondering why there was no apparent PAIN involved, just lots of laughter.

"This is very odd," the man said, having discarded the newspaper. "It is almost like the period....tickles."

"So this is going to last a day or two?" Emeral said, looking at Joe rolling around laughing.

"I don't know," the man said. "This is unheard of here."

"That was fun," Joe said, the laughing fit apparently over. "So, how do I act feminine?"

"That all depends on Emeral," the man said, walking away. "The gate will open when you succeed, by the way."

"How does it depend on me?" Emeral wondered. "What can I do to help prove he......."

"Ummm," Joe said, looking at Emeral. "Did your brain short out or something?"

"No," Emeral said, flashing a decidedly 'naughty' grin. "Not at all."

"This won't turn out good," Sonic said, looking at the two.

"It all depends on how Joe's mind sees Emeral right now," Rose said. "But I get the feeling you are right."

Before anyone could say anything else, Emeral leaped at Joe. Unfortunately for those in the audience, a censor screen blocked the cameras for a good three hours. When all was said and done Emeral and Joe were found asleep in a bed that hadn't been there before, with Sonic and Rose just standing there in shock.

Luckily, we have that nice man to explain to us what the hell just happened.

"Hormone overload," the man said, pointing at a chart. "In this nexial matrix a female's period ending causes a hormone overload in her body, causing her chosen spouse to become intensely aroused. Shortly after the female herself becomes aroused, and I think you get the rest of the picture. Unfortunately, this doesn't qualify for feminine behavior for Joe, so they have to try something else."

Well, that clears that up. Lets skip ahead to when they wake up in the morning.

In the morning

"Woa," Emeral said, sitting up. "That was a very interesting night."

"You can say that again," Sonic said. "We only recovered from the sight an hour ago."

"It was definitely odd," Rose added. "This place works in odd ways."

"Did someone get the number of the planet that hit me?" Joe said as she sat up. "I can barely remember what happened last night."

"You can't remember what we did?" Emeral asked, wide-eyed.

"There was the ticklish period," Joe said, running through the events of last night. "Then you spaced out for a moment, just before we......"

"Ummmm," Emeral said, looking at Joe. "Did YOUR brain just short out?"

"We," Joe said, eyes going wide. "I, you......."

"Joe?" Emeral said, worried.

"YOU PERVERT," Joe screamed, materializing an axe and attacking Emeral with it. Luckily, Joe missed and the axe got stuck in the ground in front of the gate.

"That REALLY could have been worse," Sonic said as Joe tried to pull the axe out of the ground. It took everyone a moment to realize, however, that the gate had just OPENED, and thus they were free to go.

Well, Joe hasn't figured that out yet, and she just got the axe free.

"MAKE WAY," Emeral yelled, darting through the gate like a madman was after her.

"You know," Sonic said, jogging next to Emeral. "You should really change your darting strategy. You don't have a madman after you, you have a madwoman after you."

"I don't care," Emeral said as the Axe whizzed by his head. "I just want to live to see the sun rise again."

"In that case," Rose said, walking up to Sonic and Emeral. "You might want to step off the treadmill."

"Good idea," Emeral said, hoping to the side just as Joe was about to reach him. A moment later the four were through the gate.

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"What the hell was that about?" Joe asked, noticing he appeared to be himself again.

"I have no clue," Emeral said, happy to be female once more.

"Nice distraction," Sonic whispered to the camera. "Gave me and Rose time to change them back."

"No problem," a voice whispered back to Sonic.

"Shouldn't we have appeared in front of a gate by now?" Rose asked, looking around at the void they were in.

"Not before you die," a booming voice called out just before quantum lightning killed the four. A moment later their ghostly forms solidified in front of a gate.

"What was that for?" Sonic asked. "It STUNG!"

"I only exist in the spirit plane here," the gate boomed. "Partially because the spirit plane here is the only plane that has anything IN it."

"Will you bring us back to life when you send us on our way?" Rose asked.

"Of course," the gate said. "Unfortunately, you will have to answer my riddle first."

"Then lets get on with it," Emeral said. "I am not liking the way this place seems to adjust randomly around us."

"Ok then," the gate said. "Omesay ytray otay idehay, omesay ytray otay eatchay, utbay
imetay illway owshay, eway alwaysway illway eetmay.
Ytray asway ouyay ightmay, otay uessgay ymay amenay, Iway
omisepray ou'llyay owknay, enwhay ouyay Iway oday aimclay.

Owhay amway Iway?"

"Eckchay easeplay," the four all said at the same time after a moment of mild shock.

"Nice one," the gate said. "So, do you have an answer?"

"Would the answer be death?" Joe asked.

"Nope," the gate said.

"Eathday?" Emeral asked.

"Nope," the gate said.

"It isn't death, or death in pig latin," Rose said. "What else could it be?"

"Boton?" Sonic joked.

"CORRECT!" the gate boomed. "You know, you are the first people to come through here and know that."

"You know," Boton said, flying by. "I AM on vacation this week, so you should really change your answer."

"This is where she goes on vacation?" Rose asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It wasn't her choice," the gate said. "But anyway, it is time to send you on your way."

"I wonder what is next," Joe said as the four were sucked into the gate, meeting up with their bodies in the process.

"You HAD to ask," Emeral said as a searing pain shot through all four of the travelers, causing them all to fall unconscious.

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Ok then..........lets get back to the four unconscious dolts

"What happened," Emeral asked, sitting up. She immediately knew something was vastly different about her, but couldn't place it right away.

"I don't know," Rose said, apparently elsewhere the room. She also couldn't figure out what was wrong, never mind the fact that she didn't think she would have changed to begin with.

"Where are the boys?" Emeral asked, looking around. She figured Rose was behind the curtain across from the bed she was in.

"I don't know," Rose said. "My more immediate concern is finding the floor though."

"The floor?" Emeral said, leaning over to look down. Instead of seeing the floor, she saw Rose looking up at her.

"There seems to be a distinct lack of one," Rose said. "Makes me wonder how we got in this two-sided bed."

"How about we see what happens when we climb to the other side of this thing," Emeral said. "You go over this side, I will go over the other?"

"Works for me," Rose said as Emeral moved to the other side of the bed and the two crawled around it. When all was said and done they were right back at square one, but on opposite sides of the bed.

"That did nothing," Emeral said. "You got any ideas of how to get off this island of a bed?"

"Teamwork," Rose said.

"Huh?" Emeral asked. "What do you mean by that?"

"The wall," Rose answered. "It says Teamwork. I think we need to work together somehow."

"You two are taking long enough," Sonic called from the door.

"We would help ya," Joe called. "But it is against the rules."

"Why I outta," Rose said, trying to summon her mallet to throw at the door. A moment later she found out she couldn't, confusing her.

"Rose," Emeral called, sounding scared. "I hadn't noticed before, but there is something seriously wrong here."

"There is NO FLOOR and we are sitting on opposite sides of a bed in the middle of the room," Rose said. "OF COURSE THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG."

"I wasn't thinking that," Emeral said. "I was thinking more along the lines of something wrong with US."

"I admit I feel odd," Rose said. "But I can't place why."

Can you feel the sheets under you?" Emeral asked.

"Yep," Rose said. "Nice ones, too."

"But aren't you wearing clothing?" Emeral asked.

"Come to think of it," Rose said, looking at her skirt. "Yes."

"Pinch your shirt," Emeral said. "Don't ask why, just trust me."

"Ok," Rose said, pinching her shirt sleeve. "YEOUCH, that smarts!"

"So our clothes are part of us somehow," Emeral said. "Now, try to climb onto the same side as me."

"Ok," Rose replied. She was curious as to why she wasn't getting any of this before Emeral, though, as she started to move to the other side of the bed. Before she got there, though, gravity adjusted itself and yanked her back to her side of the bed.

"I think we have to walk on each other," Emeral said. "Should make getting around interesting."

"Worth a shot," Rose said. "Shall we head towards the door?"

"Yep," Emeral said. "I am putting my feet over the side of the bed, put yours up against them."

"Ok," Rose said as the two put their feet together. "Now what?"

"Now we stand up," Emeral said. "I hope I got this right."

"I hope so too," Rose said. "On the count of three?"

"One," Emeral said.

"Two," Rose said.

"Three," the two said at the same time, standing up.

"We did it," Rose said, a little more giddy then she expected.

"Now we have to try to WALK like this," Emeral said.

"This is odd," Rose said. "I can feel your shoes on the bottom of my feet."

"That is because your shoes ARE your feet," Emeral said. "You know, looking at the mirror over there, I can't tell who is who."

"You know," Rose said. "I can't either. Well..."

"You see something different about us?" Emeral asked.

"We are mirror imaged," Rose said. "What is on my right side is on your left."

"You are right," Emeral said. "Perhaps this makes moving around as one easier."

"I hope so," Rose said.

"Lets try this," Emeral said. "I assume if we make it to the door the boys can explain the rest to us."

"You got that right," Joe yelled. "By the way, who was that? Your voices are identical."

"You tell me who you are first," Rose yelled.

"Bah," Sonic said. "Just get out here."

"What is keeping you two anyway," Joe said. "It isn't like you are naked."

"Technically we are," Emeral said. "Our clothes ARE part of us, after all."

"True," Sonic said. "Get out here so we can do the big reveal of what we look like for the audience. Some of them are probably going nuts trying to figure it out."

"Alright already," Rose said as she and Emeral started walking towards the door. They didn't even have to think about moving as one, they just did, walking through the door without any issues.

"That wasn't that bad," Sonic said, on the same side as Emeral. "I assume Emeral is on top, as I thought you switched only once."

"Yep," Emeral said. "Who is on the top with you two?"

"I happen to be Sonic," Sonic said. "Of course, the top is relative to the person."

"No," Rose said. "I think this is definitely the bottom."

"Why is that?" Joe asked.

"All the text is upside down from this perspective," Rose said.

"Nice brown hair," Sonic commented. "Longer style then I was expecting."

"Yea," Emeral said. "You are at least color coordinated, short blue hair with short blue eyes."

"Well your eyes are blue, aren't they?" Joe said. "I like the pink shoes, thigh-high socks, and miniskirt."

"Your blue shoes look much more suited for this, and they match your pants," Rose said. "Or is that armor? We get to wear pink and purple shirts, although I guess they do match our shoes."

"Don't know," Sonic said. "Your pink shirts look better on you then our white and gray ones do on us, though."

"That is your opinion," Emeral said. "I personally like the look on ya, the matching gloves and off-color elbow protectors work well on you."

"Can we get on with finding the damn gate?" Rose asked. "I would rather be able to look Emeral in the face."

"There is a problem with that," Sonic said. "Joe, why don't you explain it."

"You see," Joe said. "The gate is in a location that is very hard to get to in this state."

"How hard?" Rose asked.

"Almost impossible," Sonic said.

"I do not like the sound of that," Emeral said. "How do we get to it then?"

"With a gravity reversal pad," a gentleman said, walking on another gentleman over to the group.

"That could quite possibly make it much more possible," Sonic said. "Where do we find one?"

"Right under the gate," the other gentleman said. "You may wish to hurry though."

"Why?" Rose asked.

"The longer you stay here," the first gentleman said.

"The more likely you are to permanently become what you currently appear to be," the other finished.

"WHAT," all four yelled at once, running off to the gate. Sonic and Joe ran in front, with Emeral and Rose following them.

"You know," a woman said, walking up to the gentlemen. "You could have told them the whole truth."

"What they don't know can't hurt them," the gentlemen said at the same time.

"I suppose they wouldn't have liked the rest of the situation either," one of the women said.

"What possible reason could they have to want to become merged upon traveling through the gate?" the other woman said.

"You know," Rose said as they stood in front of the gate. "This was easier then I thought."

"I have to agree," Joe said. "Who would have thought they would have devices for adjusting your height in this place?"

"They would have to do something about that," Sonic said. "Now, as for this gate, why isn't it talking to us?"

"I can tell ya that," Emeral said.

"Then tell us already," Rose said, stomping her foot on Emeral's.

"We have to plug it in," Emeral said, pointing at a plug by the side of the gate, the cord sitting there next to it.

"Sounds simple enough," Joe said as the four walked over to the plug. Sonic tried to pick up the cord, however, and found he couldn't.

"What gives?" Sonic asked. "I can't reach it."

"It is on my side," Joe said. "Without something to climb around, we can't cross over the barrier."

"And the plug is on our side," Emeral said. "So you can't plug it in."

"Then how the hell DO we plug the gate in?" Rose asked. "It isn't like we can move the plug or the cord to the other side of the invisible barrier."

"ARE YOU FOUR STUPID OR SOMETHING?" a child yelled from below them.

"You can CHANGE THE HEIGHT OF YOUR BARRIER," the other child yelled. "JUST MOVE IT ABOVE OR BELOW BOTH OF THEM!"

"Is it me," Sonic said as they walked over to adjust their barrier height again. "Or are we not thinking clearly?"

"It isn't you," the gate boomed as it was plugged in. "Riddle time......."

"Oh come on," Emeral said. "Can we please not go through this every time?"

"There has to be an easier way then to go through each gate one by one," Joe said.

"Ok then," the gate said. "I will make a deal with you. You answer two thinking puzzles, I break the rules and send you straight to gate one."

"DEAL!" the four yelled, pulling out pads of paper and pens. "Puzzle away!"

"The first of your puzzles is the following," the gate boomed. "A man walked into a bar and was immediately knocked unconscious. Why?"

"Got it written down," Sonic said. "Do we answer that one first, or are you giving us both right now."

"Come back when you have answered that one," the gate boomed. "If you have any questions then ask the nearest magic eight ball. I have ensured they will all answer truthfully, but only within their limits. Oh, and as a bonus, I made it so that your stay here won't affect you upon leaving. That way you can take your time."

"Thanks," Joe said. "Lets go solve this stupid thing."

Three days later

"We think we have it," Emeral said. "Took us a long time with a collection of eight balls though."

"What is your answer?" the gate asked. "Since it took you long enough to figure it out."

"The bar was an iron bar," the four said at the same time.

"Correct," the gate said. "Now tell me how you REALLY figured it out."

"Alright already," Rose said.

"We walked into one ourselves," Sonic said. "Hurt too."

"Just got out of the hospital," Joe said. "Now, as for the second riddle........."

"Puzzle, not riddle," the gate corrected. "For it we will need a floor........"

Suddenly the four found themselves standing not on each other, but on a circular floor between them.

"Now, lets move you up so you can all see me," the gate said as the floor moved upwards to the center of the gate. "This will also facilitate you walking through me later, if you get past this."

"Anything else?" Rose asked.

"Yes, actually," the gate said. "Now we need a third party."

"Who do we get for that?" Sonic asked, looking around. "I don't see anyone nearby today."

"Good point," the gate said. "In this case, lets go with a pair of absolute idiots who could never think their way out of anything. A pair that would stand there unsure of themselves no matter what if they had to figure something out based on what they were looking at. Or two that will not break the rules I lay out for them, whichever I find easier to find."

"Ok," the four said.

"But first I am blocking any abilities to read minds any of you may still possess," the gate said.

"Dang," Sonic and Rose said, having hoped that would have helped them.

"Now, however, we have your 'partners' Daihokuse and Daikokuse," the gate said as the brothers appeared on the circular floor. "Now you two, you know the rules as I outlined them to you a few minutes ago, right?"

"Yes," the two answered in unison. "We must only do what you explicitly say to."

"Very good," the gate said. "Now, to start this off...."

A blast of light blinded the six individuals, preventing them from seeing what the gate was doing. A moment later they recovered, blinking as they looked around.

"I have marked the foreheads of certain individuals," the gate said. "If you can see a forehead marked then please raise your hand."

The six individuals all raised their hands, although the camera angles are not helping with showing who was and was not marked. Aren't we nasty?

"Now, you know who you can see that is marked and who can see someone who is marked," the gate said. "Now, you may only put your hand down if you can say for certain that you are or are not marked and why you are or are not marked. The brothers Daihokuse and Daikokuse will not be participating in this part of the game, however."

"We know," the brothers answered in unison.

The six stood there, none of them putting their hands down, all trying to decide if they were or were not marked.

Three hours later

"This is impossible," Joe mumbled. "How can we figure this out?"

"I know!" Emeral suddenly yelled, putting her hand down. "Why didn't I see it earlier?"

"You must answer," the gate said. "Are you or are you not marked?"

"I am marked," Emeral said.

"How do you know you are marked?" the gate asked.

"If I were not marked then Sonic would have known he was marked because...umm...is that Daihokuse or Daikokuse....whoever he is would have only seen Sonic as being marked and not me," Emeral said. "Had Sonic seen me not marked he would have had to have been marked. Since he didn't know he was marked and I know whatshisname was marked I must have been marked as well."

"Congratulations," the gate said. "You have passed. You were all marked, by the way, and you solved it the hard way."

"What was the easy way?" Rose asked.

"I never said you couldn't ask each other if you were marked," the gate said.

We interrupt you to bring you this scene in downtown Hidjustisu, Nexial Matrix five hundred and six, matrix eight, node fifteen, world three, planet five million and six, continent four, country two, city five thousand six hundred ninety seven.......

"So much for that downtown," a passerby said. "Flattened by an earthquake."

"What the hell is an earthquake?" their companion asked. "The ground has never shaken like that here before!"

Now, back to the gate we were just at

"Alright, lets go," Sonic said, slinging a bag over his shoulder. "We have to get through that last gate to get home and fix MM."

"Assuming he still exists to be fixed," Rose said. "There might not be a home to go home to."

"Don't worry," the gate said. "You will most likely get back home shortly after you left."

"Four dimensional travel," Joe said. "Gotta love it when you have a major situation on your hands."

"Have a nice trip," the gate said as the four walked through it. "You will need a good deal of luck though."

On the other side of the wormhole through a time warp through an inter-nexial portal through the bathroom we find another gate.....

"Welcome to gate one my duckies," a man with red hair and a cane called out from atop the gate. "Too bad you have to beat me at my own game to get through it."

"Not him," the four moaned. "ANYONE but him!"

"Rose?" Sonic asked, grinning at Rose. "Shall we?"

"No you shall not," the man said.

"Shut up Mad Mod," Rose said. "We will do whatever we want, we don't need to follow your rules."

"Oh but you do," Mad Mod said. "Your powers are useless in this world, as quantum levels are reversed."

"WHAT," Sonic and Rose said, trying to summon some of their quantum abilities. Their failure put them into partial shock.

"I, on the other hand," Mad Mod said, floating into the air. "Have quite a few abilities at my disposal."

"We," Joe and Emeral said in unison. "Are a different story."

"Really?" Mad Mod said. "What, prey tell, can you two blokes do?"

"THIS," the two yelled, launching a combined quantum assault at Mad Mod. Mad Mod, not being prepared for it, was blown out of the sky. He did not get back up.

"How did you two take him out that easily?" Rose asked. "He should have been the same level as you two."

"He is half a level below us," Joe said.

"We are only half of a quantum level due to being half of ourselves to begin with," Emeral said. "Enough to survive, not enough to differentiate us from any level ones elsewhere."

"Can we go home now?" Sonic asked. "Or are we waiting for him to wake up so he can put us through some torture?"

"HOME," Joe and Emeral said as the gate opened to reveal the dueling black holes of the bathroom.

"Can you get us any closer to the MFM sector of our home matrix?" Rose asked the gate.

"Oh alright," the gate moaned, sucking them into a suddenly appearing swirling vortex.

In the shrine, inside of Wendy's "room"

"Ouch," Sonic said. "That landing smarted."

"Thirty minutes," Nadeshiko said, looking at the clock. "Looks like you failed though."

"We tried," Rose said. "We failed. Can we go take a nap now?"