CmptrWz

Chapter 37
Final RPG Cleanup
Or, Birth of the Hell spawn

When the sun rose the next morning it found Joe trying to keep Emeral from leaving the house they had decided to continue using. They had found it contained an extra room, mysteriously locked, next to Emily's room.

"I am expected at school," Emeral said, trying to stand up.

"This would be considered cause for an excused absence," Joe said. "Even if I hadn't tied the Headmaster to several of his own planes and sent him out to sea."

After some more arguing, Joe left for school on his own. Emily and Jeremy left soon after, arguing as they left. A collision of energies a block away showed that the argument was escalating, but nobody paid much attention to it.

Across town, Ranma and Akane were also fighting on their way to school. Ranma was, per usual, running along the fence, making comments about and/or directed at Akane, without realizing why they annoyed her so much. It didn't take long for Akane to make an attempt at knocking Ranma into the water. Ranma dodged the attempt, and for the first time in recorded history, Shampoo's bike went under him instead of into him.

Three milliseconds later Shampoo fell through a rip in space-time, to land on top of Ranma. We can't have her missing, after all.

At any rate, Ukyo showed up a few seconds after that, and Akane went to storm off like she usually did. First, however, she had to hit Ranma with her mallet, which for some reason she couldn't find.

"Where is my mallet?" Akane asked no one in particular, now more confused then angry.

"Right here," Joe answered from behind Akane, her mallet over his shoulder. "Oh, and allow me." With that he swung the mallet, missed Ranma altogether, but sent Shampoo and Ukyo flying into the school's clock, which immediately stopped making it so that nobody would be late.

"You missed me," Ranma said, looking at Joe.

"I wasn't aiming for you," Joe responded. "Emeral and I would like to talk to you tonight, in the park. Can you make it?"

"Ok with me," Ranma said, looking at Akane. The lack of the head injury from the mallet left him with enough common sense to not make a comment about her.

"We will be there," Akane said, looking back at Ranma.

"That clock will be starting up again in a few seconds," Joe said, looking towards the school. "We had better hurry."

"Just one thing first," Akane said, taking her mallet and making like she was putting it away. A split second later Ranma was flattened against the clock.

"Uncute Tomboy," Ranma mumbled.

Amazingly enough, Kalshion and Katarina remembered to show up as well, and everyone pretty much fell back into the daily routine. The only difference was that Ranma seemed more relaxed then he had been in years. Well, until Hinako sucked his Chi for not paying attention in class, anyway.

Meanwhile, in another node

"I paid for the damages, didn't I?" a young girl said, talking to Washu.

"I suppose you did," Washu said, giving in. "What did you say you needed?"

"I need something that will take a summoned pregnancy and accelerate it," the girl responded.

"Is that all?" Washu said, laughing. She then walked over to a table and picked up a small gun. "This will accelerate any summoned pregnancy. Just don't use it on a normal pregnancy, or you might cause the child to be soul-merged with a demon."

"Thank you," the girl said, taking the gun. "Have a nice day." With that the girl vanished, leaving some money behind where she had been sitting.

"Kids these days," Washu said, shaking her head.

Back in the living room where Emeral is trying not to go insane with boredom

"What am I supposed to do all day?" Emeral asked herself for the five thousandth time.

"How about I help you with that," came a child-like voice.

"Only one person could sound like that and not appear physically," Emeral said. "And that person is who I blame for my situation."

"Don't shoot the assistance," a young girl said, fading into view. "In fact, let the assistance shoot you."

"What are you talking about?" Emeral said, propping herself up further.

"I brought this ray gun that will accelerate your pregnancy," the girl said, holding up a small gun. "After some checks, I have determined it will allow you to give birth at, oh, about the time Joe would normally arrive after school."

"When did you build that?" Emeral said, motioning for the girl to shoot her.

"Oh, I didn't," the girl said as she pulled the trigger. Before Emeral could respond she was hit by the beam, and felt a slight tingle. "Washu did."

"WASHU!?!" Emeral yelled, suddenly very worried. She didn't have time to continue before the girl faded away, nor did she care to continue as excruciating pain shot through her stomach. It was expanding visibly, straining the already-strained skin to beyond normal limits. Finally, she couldn't hold it in anymore, and she screamed.

Back with those American Scientists

"There goes the asteroid belt," one said, looking through a telescope.

"What did you say?" the scientist next to the first asked. "I couldn't hear you."

"Cut it out," a third said. "Oh, wait, now I am doing it. That blasted scream made us all deaf, so why are we trying to talk to each other?"

Back in MM's living room

"Initiating node-wide hearing restoration," MM's computer reported, flooding the node with restorative energy.

"What kept you?" MM asked the computer.

"The scream knocked my energy source out of alignment," the computer responded.

"Figures," MM said, turning back to a book he was reading. "Let me know when Rose is giving birth."

"Will do," the computer said.

At the school

"What was that?" Jeremy asked Joe, rubbing his ear.

"Sounded like a scream," Joe responded, also rubbing his ear. "Almost like........"

Before Joe finished his sentence he was out of the school and several blocks away.

"How did he do that?" Ukyo asked, looking at where Joe had been.

"He went right through the wall," Emily said, pointing at a Joe-shaped hole in the wall, beyond which was another Joe-shaped hole across the hall.

"That was fast," Jeremy commented as a line of fire sprung up where Joe had run past.

"He's not called Sonic for nothing," joked Emily.

"Sonic?" Ukyo asked.

"Never mind," Emily replied.

The rest of the day from any perspective is boring, so lets move to the end of the school day

"How is Emeral?" Emily asked as she walked in the door.

"She has been unconscious since she screamed," Joe said, never leaving Emeral's side. At this point her stomach was large enough to hold a teenager.

"LET ME OUT OF HERE," a female voice called from inside Emeral. The resulting shock caused Joe, Emily, and Jeremy, who had just walked in, to fall flat on their faces.

"My pleasure," Emeral said weakly. A moment later a bright flash of light blinded everyone. Once the light had died down Emeral was sleeping peacefully, and a naked teenage-looking girl with blue hair, yellow horns, and an arrow-tipped tail was hanging from the ceiling fan.

"Who are you?" Joe asked, keeping his eyes averted.

"My name is Kia," the girl said, falling to the floor. "I am a succubus, by the way."

"Figures," Joe said, rolling his eyes. "I think you have a room down the hall. Emily, it was next to your door, could you show her there while I tend to Emeral?"

"Sure," Emily said, dragging Kia down the hall. The new room was unlocked, and done up in a 'pits of hell' fashion. Kia wasted no time in pulling on a form-fitting black leather suit.

"Guess we still have a few hours before we go meet Ranma and Akane," Joe said, tucking Emeral into bed. "Hope you are well-rested by then."

"Hey Earth Dad," Kia called, interrupting Joe.

"What did you call me?" Joe asked, spinning around.

"I called you Earth Dad," Kia responded. "Why, is something wrong with that?"

"Call me Joe," Joe responded. "While you are at it, call her Emeral." As he said this he jerked his thumb back towards Emeral.

"Ok," Kia said. "What is there to do around here?"

"Go grab a game off the shelf or something," Joe said, waving Kia out of the room.

Meanwhile, Tommy is just waking up

"Looks like I missed school," Tommy said, looking at the clock. "Oh well." With that, he rolled over and went back to sleep.

Lets go back to Kia, who just found the aforementioned shelf

"What is this?" Kia said, picking up a small box. "A puzzle? Why not." With that she opened the box and dumped the contents out onto the floor, revealing a set of holographic cubes. "Looks challenging." With that she started working on the puzzle, dead to anything else in the world.

Of course, Kalshion, Katarina, and Kuno would all choose the same moment to show up, knocking the little progress (two pieces) Kia had made apart as they fell through the door, all having tried to get through at the same time.

"Who are you?" Kia asked Kuno, who had two pieces stuck to his face. Kalshion and Katarina left to talk with Joe while Kuno went into his long speech about who he was and how he was going to make Kia his wife.

"Is that Kuno I hear?" Joe asked as Kalshion and Katarina entered the bedroom.

"Yep," they both answered, and started talking about what had happened. Kuno, however, had just finished his speech.

"I don't know about you," Kia said, looking at Kuno. "How about we go on a date next week, see how it goes. You can pick me up at sundown a week from today."

"As you desire, it shall be done!" Kuno said, and headed back out to start making arrangements. Five minutes later a bunch of flowers showed up for Kia.

"The fair, costumed one," Kia read on the card. "Cute, but what costume? Oh well, back to this puzzle." With that, she returned to the puzzle, again going dead to the world.

"Thanks for coming," Joe said to Kalshion and Katarina.

"Bye," Katarina said as she pushed Kalshion out of the door. They just barely made it out the door before two small forms entered it.

"What brings you two here, without fighting or giving each other odd looks?" Joe asked Cologne and Happosai.

"We want to know about this mysterious MM person," Happosai said. "I have vague memories of him giving me control of something, but nothing specific myself."

"I remember a lot of that RPG myself," Cologne added. "We are both curious as to what you know."

"And what makes you think I know anything?" Joe asked, looking at the two.

"There aren't that many beings from other dimensions named Sonic around," Cologne replied.

"How long have you known about that?" Joe asked, shutting the door behind the two. He had just barely restrained himself from falling over, knowing who he was talking to.

"Well before the RPG," Happosai answered. "The two of us tend to take note of odd goings on in town, even if we don't act on them."

"Well, I can't say I know much about MM," Joe said, gesturing for the two to sit down in chairs. "Mainly, I know he is old, powerful, created this world, and likes to curse things."

"I suspected the old, powerful, and curse aspects," Cologne said, considering things. "I didn't even suspect he might have made this world."

"You three talking about dad?" Emily asked, walking into the room.

"Yea," Joe said. "Feel free to get Jeremy if you want."

"Don't bother," Jeremy said, walking into the room. "I am here."

"You referred to MM as your father," Happosai said, eyeing Emily. "Is he really?"

"Yes," Emily said. "Our mother died well before you were born, but our father didn't start his nap until after he tweaked your lifespan."

"I have to admit," Jeremy said, chuckling. "Dad is good at picking out people that will cause humor while annoying people."

"This certainly changes things," Cologne said, looking at the two. "I think we should wait for another day before finding out more. This is enough to deal with for now."

"I agree," Happosai said. "And with that said..." A moment later Happosai was on Emily's chest. Amazingly enough, she didn't make any move to stop him, remove him, or otherwise impede him, but rather just stood there smiling. Her bra, on the other hand, cursed Happosai, making him magnetically repelled by female undergarments and magnetically attracted by male undergarments.

"I guess a little of Dad is rubbing off on me," Emily said, smiling, as Happosai ran before he was stuck to Joe.