CmptrWz

The group traveled for three days and three nights when Hikeya suddenly came to a large cliff, with a sign sticking out of it. She looked confused as she read the sign aloud.

"You dolts, you didn't get the fourth map, did you?" the sign said. Hikeya slapped her forehead as the rest of the group looked around.

"Oooops," Sonic said, as the group headed back to get the map. "Guess not even Hikeya can get us there without that map."

"So where was the map?" Rose asked.

"Something about a cave of souls south of our house," Sonic replied, looking at a notebook.

"Is there a catch?" Kalshion asked.

"Something about a lake-dwelling beast," Sonic said, pulling out his map.

"Figures," Katarina said. "Where is the lake?"

"Dunno," Sonic said. "What is this little arrow button?"

"Lets find out," Tommy said, jumping up and pushing it. Suddenly the map engulfed the group in light, disorienting them. When the light cleared they were all dizzy and fell to the ground. When they got up they found themselves outside of the High School.

"Must be a jump button," Sonic said, looking at it. "The map was centered on this spot when the button was pushed."

"Lets get going south then," Cologne said, leading the way. "I get the feeling that thing only works on places we have been before."

"First we are making a pit stop," Hikeya said. Turning to object the group saw that she was very serious and that it was probably useless to try and refuse, so instead they just shrugged and let her lead them off. Soon they had arrived at what looked like an amusement park ride.

"Guess she is giving into her child side again," Rose mumbled.

"Not quite," Hikeya said. "I can't go in this."

"Why not?" Sonic said, confused. Hikeya was well over the minimum height. Tommy, on the other hand, was too short.

"This removes curses," Hikeya started. Before she could continue the only ones standing in front of her were Tommy and Cologne. A few minutes later the rest of the group had returned, all restored to their original states, in RPG form anyway.

"I never want to be a girl again," Jeremy said.

"Too bad Tommy is too short for the thing," Sonic said. "But why didn't you go in Hikeya?"

"My path finding ability is technically a curse," Hikeya said.

"Did someone say REMOVE CURSES?" came several voices at once, all flying past the group and into the ride. After the group got back on their feet they noticed Kodachi, Mousse, Kuno, Shampoo, Ukyo, Nabiki, Kasumi, Soun, and Genma all there with them.

"Going to help us save Ranma?" Cologne said. Moments later Kodachi, Shampoo and Ukyo had joined the group. Mousse joined because Shampoo joined, and Cologne looked at the others. "We are saving Akane and the Pig Tailed Girl too," she added, smacking Kuno before he went into a long spiel. After some prodding Soun and Genma joined up, but everyone assumed they would vanish at the first sign of trouble anyway. Nabiki and Kasumi just left, as they didn't fight.

"Mind if I join you," a distinguished looking man said, walking up to the group.

"Oh daddy," Kodachi said, running over to the man. "You are going to help save my beloved?"

"Shouldn't you go through the de-curser first?" Sonic said.

"Already did," the man responded.

"Then excuse me while I do a classic cartoon double-take," Sonic said, before launching into an eye-pop, jaw-drop, burst into a million pieces double take.

"Pull yourself together," Rose said, punching Sonic's floating eyes.

"Sorry," Sonic said, standing up out of the pile he had become. "Just hard to believe this is our principal."

"Is that so," the man said, pulling off his suit to reveal a Hawaiian shirt. Within seconds he was attacking Kuno with clippers, Kuno doing a great job of knocking his father's lights out.

"Never mind," Sonic said, turning southward. "Lets get going."

Three hours later

"I thought we were supposed to come to a LAKE," Sonic said, looking at the ocean-like body of water in front of him.

"This is a lake," Rose said. "It is just a very BIG one."

"Big lake means big monster," the principal said. This was enough to cause Soun and Genma to vanish from the area, essentially leaving the group for good.

"The cowards," Kuno said, looking where Soun and Genma had vanished too. "Have they no...."

SLAM

Kuno shut up as the giant pink top drove his head into the ground, while Tommy laughed.

"The squirt is good for something after all," Sonic said, grinning.

"So where is this lake-dwelling beast anyway?" Kodachi said, looking around. "And how does this help save my beloved?"

"I say we feed them to the beast," Kalshion mumbled. The gods of the RPG heard him, however, and soon Kodachi, Kuno, the Principal, and Mousse were all flying into the lake via some unknown force.

"Less people to get in the way this way," came the voice of the unknown force, and everyone left in the group just shrugged.

"Lets get this over with," Jeremy said. "I have a score to settle with dad."

"Amen to that," Emily joined in. "LAKE-DWELLING BEAST, COME ON OUT!"

A highly disturbing silence followed, with nothing happening.

"Well," Rose said. "Where is it?"

"You think you can just call a monster out?" Cologne said. "We probably have to go in after it."

"Wait a minute," Emily said. "What is that in the water?" Everyone turned to look, finding a small fish near the shore.

"Is THAT the beast?" Jeremy said, staring.

"Yep," came the little fish. "I am the lake-dwelling beast. Prepare to meet your doom."

None of the group could hold it in after that, and all of them fell over laughing. Thus none of them noticed the giant beast rising out of the water, the little fish being a mere part of its head. When it finished standing up it stood five stories tall and looked like it had been hit with enough radiation to cook it ten times over.

"Guys," Emily said, having opened her eyes and stopped laughing instantly. "That isn't a little fish." Moments later the group was prepared for a massive battle.

"Prepare to be assimilated," came a mechanical voice. "Your panties will be ours."

"That doesn't sound right," Sonic said, dropping his guard to look for the source of the voice. "Is his perversity THAT strong?"

"Sweeto!" came Happosai's voice just before a small bundle of flesh and metal landed on Rose's chest. The resulting aura blast obliterated all traces of metal and other electronics in Happosai's system, as well as launching him into space. The other Borg nearby left to enact repairs on the collective.

"Thanks for taking care of that pervert," the beast said. "He and those drones were annoying."

"No problem," Rose said. "It was my pleasure."

"I can't attack you now," the beast said. "How about I escort you to the cave instead?"

"Sounds good to me," Hikeya said.

Two hours later

"How can this be called a lake?" Sonic wondered aloud. "It is the size of a small ocean."

"You should see the ocean then," the beast said, snickering.

"No thanks," Sonic countered. "This is big enough for me."

"Well," the beast said as he stopped at a small island. "Here we are."

"Thanks," Jeremy said as he climbed off the beast. "That was fun."

"No problem," the beast responded. "Have a nice visit, and watch out for the crazy girl." He then swam off, not allowing any questions to be asked.

"Who goes there?" came a female voice.

"We are here for the map," Kalshion yelled.

"You won't get it," came the voice as several white ghost-like things came streaming out of the cave and attacked the group. Several minutes later they were all defeated, and the group pushed on wordlessly. Sonic and Rose were trying to figure out why the things they had just fought looked so familiar, and the rest were trying to figure out what was going on.

"HEADS UP," Tommy yelled, everyone else jumping out of the way as a massively charged arrow flew by and obliterated a large section of rock behind them. Sonic and Rose turned to each other.

"Kikyo," Sonic and Rose said in unison, nodding their heads.

"Who is Kikyo?" Katarina asked, brushing dust off of her clothes.

"Long story," Rose said, pointing at another arrow coming from in the cave. "No time."

The group moved down the cave, fighting the ghost-like things that came at them and dodging the arrows that Kikyo shot, until they came to a large chamber. Kikyo was standing between the group and the map, which was sitting on a pedestal in the middle of the room.

"Lets get this over with," Rose said as the group pulled out an assortment of weapons. While they did so Kikyo pushed Tommy and Hikeya off to the side, saying something about playing while the adults did their thing. This turned out to be a mistake as their anger levels skyrocketed. As soon as Kikyo turned around they both hit her from behind with all their power, sending her spirit off to another world.

"Good job you two," Sonic said, roughing up the top of Tommy's head as Rose picked up the map.

"Can we go now?" Rose asked.

"Sure," Sonic said, pulling out the map to use the jump feature.

Back with the love birds

"You are a wonderful cook!" said Ranma-chan gulfing down some eggs, hash browns, and pickles.

"I'm glad you like it," replied Akane with a smile on her face.

The camera zooms out showing the two of them on the table. As they are eating transparent 0's and 1's keep passing through the room in a set of eight. After a "00101110" passed Ranma's head, he stop eating.

"What is with these number's?" he asked.

"Not really sure, sorta looks like Binary," replied Akane.

"Binary?" asked Ranma with his mouth full, "Is that something to eat?"

"No silly, it's a language a computer uses. I recall one of my friends talking about it, though I didn't really pay attention," said Akane.

A few moments later a set of "11101000" came by with Shippo attached to the first 1, "Someone get me down from here!" he yelled.

"Hold on Shipp," yelled Kagome coming from the opposite side of the room sitting on an "11111111" coming by.

"What the hell is all this?" barked InuYasha smashes bytes with his Tessaiga.

The bits that had separated from the bytes that InuYasha had smashing started to slam into other bytes, and soon the room looked like a highway crash.

"What did you do InuYasha!" yelled Kagome trying to get out from under a few 0's and 1's until Ranma finally came over and helped her out.

"Where's that fox dude," asked Ranma looking around.

"Over there," pointed Akane.

"Thanks Akane," replied Ranma running over and throwing 0's and 1's out of the way, onto InuYasha.

"Will you CUT THAT OUT!" yelled InuYasha.

"Will you look at this network collision!" came a voice from behind Akane.

Everyone took a look to find Izzy working on a palm pilot, "Now to clean this mess up," he said.

Moments later the 0's and 1's vanished, InuYasha and his gang were teleported somewhere, and Ranma was back to enjoying a delicious meal.

"This is really good Akane, I say it is even better than Kasumi!" said Ranma.

"That's so sweet," said Akane blushing a bit, "Would you like seconds?"

"Sure!" replied Ranma.

A couple hours later in a forest in the dragon world

The group trudged on through the forest, hours after the sun had set, hoping to get to the fortress before setting up camp. They could barely see in front of them, yet they continued on with determination. Without realizing it they came to a clearing, yet found that only half the sky had stars in it.

"Isn't that freaky," Tommy commented, looking at the point where the stars seemed to just stop.

"Did we reach the end of the game world?" Rose asked, seeming confused.

"Shhh," Sonic said, pointing. "Look."

The group looked where Sonic was pointing to see one of the moons coming out from the point where the stars seemed to vanish, casting light on what initially looked like a mountain. It took a moment, but the entire group had soon realized that this wasn't a mountain, but the fourth and final fortress, larger then anything else they had seen in this world. The walls of the fortress were made out of a material so dark that it seemed to suck in light rather then reflect it, and there were no windows to be seen. After a few moments the group could see a high wall, smoother then glass, surrounding the fortress. The only way in appeared to be a gate off to their right, the doors of which appeared to be giant, black, clawed hands.

"Ominous, isn't it," Katarina said.

"Wonder how crappy the music will be," Sonic said, looking at his feet.

"What?" Rose asked.

"We go one step further and we cross the music trigger," Sonic said, pointing at a small gray line labeled 'Music Trigger'.

"Lets find out," Rose said, pushing Sonic over the line. As she did this the music started. Up in the fortress a hidden door opened, and a cat-like beast came out to start singing.

One, two, HEY!

I'm headin' off on a digital trip,
And that's what I plan to do.
I'm goin' away to a digital plane,
And I ain't comin' back real soon.

The whole thing is electrical,
It's runnin' though my veins,
And everything's connectable,

HEY!
Digital
HEY!
Digital
World (echos)

At this point electricity flowed from the cat-like beast and started to engulf the fortress.

One, two, three; HEY!
I'm going Digital,
Completly Digital,
Now I'm invincible,
Let's all get Digital,

I stand around at the Digital Land,
And no matter what I see.
Everything is comin' at me,
In a Digital Reality.

The whole thing's technological.
It's takin' me inside
a World Wide Web collectable,

HEY!
Digital
HEY!
Digital
World (echos)

The fortress was fully engulfed at this point, and started to fade out, taking the cat-beast with it.

Ohhhhh!

It's my Digital!
I'm going Digital!
It's my Digital!
It's my Digital World!
World!
World!
World!

The whole thing's,
Interchangeable,
It's wired up to my mind,
Where anything is,
Capable

HEY!
Digital
HEY!
Digital
World (echos)

Ohhhhhh!
I'm going Digital,
Completly Digital,
Now I'm invincible,
Let's all get Digital!

As the song finished the sun peeked over the horizon, the fortress gone. Nothing remained but a broken computer terminal, sitting in the middle of the now gigantic clearing. The group looked around, searching every square inch of the clearing, but found nothing else of possible use.

"Well isn't that a pisser," Katarina said as the group gathered for their late breakfast.

"We need to find digivices," Sonic said between sucking down his breakfast.

"Digiwhat?" Cologne asked, confused to all get out but trying not to show it.

"Small devices that will let us travel to the digital world," Rose explained, starting to pack up for their trudge back to town.

Fade to black....

Chapter 34
Find the digivices!
This wasn't in the original contract

"SHIT," Sonic said, looking at the chapter heading. "We get a whole CHAPTER to find them? How long are we gonna be looking anyway?"

"Long enough," Rose said, grabbing Sonic. "So lets get going!"

"Where are we supposed to go?" Sonic asked.

"Oh yea," Rose said, dropping Sonic on his face and stepping on him as she walked back into the den. Sonic soon jumped up, only to be promptly flattened by a large metal box simply labeled 'Open Me'.

"I know," Katarina said. "Lets open the box."

"No shit Sherlock," Happosai said. Moments later he was slammed into the box, then through an open window to fly across town.

"So how do we open it anyway?" Sonic said, having somehow pried himself from under the box. He was examining the box, finding no seams whatsoever.

"Attack it?" Rose said, pulling out a giant mallet. Before anyone could stop her she had flattened Sonic against the side of the box.

"Sounds good to me," Sonic said, somehow recovering very quickly. He then picked Rose up like a bat and slammed her into the box. As he was doing this, a clock appeared over the group, as things went by in a blur as all kinds of attacks were attempted. After five hours, according to the clock, had gone by the group stopped, the clock fading away.

"We have thrown everything at this box but the kitchen sink," Kalshion said.

"Why not," Sonic said, shrugging as he walked into the kitchen. A moment later the sink flew out and knocked the front of the box off. Inside was a rack full of digivices, each labeled for the person that should use it.

"Why does this seem too easy," Rose said, picking up her digivice.

"Maybe that note says something," Tommy said, pointing at a paper in the box. Rose picked it up and read it as Sonic came out of the kitchen with a submarine sandwich.

"Here, have your digivices," Rose read. "Now you just need to find the batteries."

Chapter 34
Find the batteries!
Slight Edit Was Required

"Still seems like we are back where we started," Sonic said, looking at his Digivice. He wasn't sure what it looked like, but it had a MM in the corner so he knew it wasn't standard issue. "The chapter number didn't even change."

"Lets get going then," Rose said, dragging everyone along with her. A calendar appeared over the screen, pages flying off like crazy as the group was shown searching areas all over the RPG and beyond for batteries. Finally the calendar stopped, three years later, on a Monday in September.

"That's it," Kalshion said, walking out of the room. "I will be right back."

Five minutes later

"Here you go," Kalshion said, walking back into the room and throwing a bag on the table. "Plenty of batteries."

"Where did you get them?" Sonic said, looking at the bag.

"Radio shack," Kalshion said.

"Sure," Katarina said. "Take the EASY way out."

"That takes all the fun out of it," Tommy said, playing with some toys in the middle of the room.

"Oh well," Sonic said, putting batteries in his Digivice. "What is done is done, so lets go." He then walked up to a computer terminal in the corner, opened the portal, and everyone went through.

Chapter 35
Heading for the Fourth Fortress
Time for a REAL chapter

"We have to dedicate a chapter to GETTING THERE?" Kalshion said. "Give us a break!"

"No," came a flat voice.

"And who are you?" Sonic asked, looking around.

"I am your first obstacle," the voice responded.

"Sounds fair to me," Hikeya said. "What do we have to do?"

"Defeat me in combat," the voice said.

"Ok then," Cologne said. "Where are you?"

"Right HERE," the voice said as Cologne was blasted back.

"You're invisible?" Tommy said.

"Yep," the voice shot back. "Founding School of Invisible Martial Arts."

"Someone get me a can of tomato soup," Sonic said. "I have a feeling we will need it."

"Soup won't help you," the voice said. "Shall we fight?"

"Sure," Sonic said, trying to listen for the fighter's movements. He heard nothing, however, and was soon taking a barrage of attacks. He didn't appear to have a chance, yet he kept it up as his HP dropped. Finally Hikeya showed up with a can of tomato soup.

"I have the can," Hikeya said. "What should I do with it?"

"Open it," Sonic said. "Then throw it at me."

"What?" Hikeya said, confused.

"Just do it," Rose said. "He has something up his sleeve."

"Ok," Hikeya said as she opened the can. "Here goes."

The can of soup flew at Sonic, but suddenly stopped in mid-air. The contents flowed around a humanoid figure, which was immediately beat on by Sonic until it stopped moving.

"That should do it," Sonic said. "Shall we go on?"

The group moved on through the digital world, finding that it was larger then the normal RPG world. That said a lot, considering that the normal RPG world was several times larger then the real world had been. Eventually they came to a gate that they knew they had to pass through.

"Wonder how we open it," Rose said, tapping on the gate.

"You pass the test," came a burly voice. "And it won't be easy."

"What test?" Tommy said with a youthful curiosity that caused most of the group to giggle.

"The Entrance Test for the Cult of the Muscle Sword," the voice answered.

"This could take a while," Katarina said as a muscle man using a sword like a helicopter jumped down from the top of the gate.

"You three must pass the test," the man said, gesturing at Sonic, Kalshion, and Jeremy.

"What is involved with the test?" Jeremy asked as he was handed a large sword. Amazingly he could hold it.....with two hands, anyway. Sonic had an easier time with the one he was handed, but Kalshion was in the same boat as Jeremy.

"Your sword must become an extension of your body," the man said. "To demonstrate that it has you must each fight me, attacking with only your bare hand and anything you can do with the sword. If your expertise is satisfactory then you will have passed. If you fail you will most likely be dead."

"Sounds like a piece of cake," Kalshion said, looking at the sword. "How long do we have?"

"As long as you need," the man said, grinning before taking off into the air like a helicopter.

"Lets get started then," Sonic said, pulling Jeremy and Kalshion into a clearly marked training area. The girls went over to some nearby girls-only hot springs, figuring they might as well clean up while the boys trained.

"So where do we begin?" Jeremy said, turning to Sonic.

"First you get yourself to a point where you can hold the sword one-handed," Sonic said, demonstrating by picking his sword up in his right hand. For a few seconds, anyway. "We will probably have to be able to hold it with either hand."

"Ok," Kalshion said. "How do we get to that point?"

"That weight set?" Sonic said, jerking his hand over his shoulder at a weight set. "The swords themselves aren't that heavy, but due to their size they appear much heavier then they really are."

"This could take a while," Jeremy said, picking up the heaviest weight he could. "Lets get started."

A calendar appeared over the three as they trained with heavier and heavier weights, a few months passing by. Finally they had run out of weights to train with, and the calendar moved down into the corner of the screen.

"This thing feels so light now," Kalshion said. "What is next?"

"Now we learn to use those Kendo Swords over there," Sonic said, pointing at fifty racks of wooden swords. "When we have mastered the use of them then we will be ready to practice with the real thing."

"Sounds good to me," Kalshion said. "What about you Jeremy?"

"Lets get started!" Jeremy said, grabbing one of the wooden swords. Soon they were practicing form from a nearby book, and the calendar came out of the corner to show a few more months passing. While the months passed the three were shown getting better and better with the wooden swords. Again the calendar came to a stop and went into the corner.

"We ran out of rocks," Sonic noted. "Wonder where we can get more."

"Who cares," Kalshion said, throwing the wooden sword aside. "We should be ready for the real swords anyway."

"You're right," Sonic said. "Lets get going with them, I am sick and tired of this training anyway."

The calendar came back out as the three trained for months with the real swords, creating energy techniques that were channeled through the swords as well as mastering all the attacks in the book they had been using. Finally the calendar vanished as the three walked out of the training area. The girls were just coming out of the hot springs at the time, and noticed the guys. While the three didn't look any different they acted different. That, and they smelled like they hadn't bathed in months.

"You got that sweaty in fifteen minutes?" Rose said, looking over at the guys.

"FIFTEEN MINUTES?" Jeremy said. "We have been training for MONTHS!"

"Blasted RPG time diffs," Emily said, shaking her head. "Can we get on with this so that you three can take a bath?"

"Sure thing," Sonic said, knocking on the gate. The man flew back down using his sword.

"So you think you are ready?" the man said, laughing at the three. "You look like you wallowed in a grease pit."

"Just put up your sword and fight," Kalshion said, spitting at the man's feet.

"Ok then," the man said, a ring appearing around him and the three boys. "Lets fight. Pixie boy, you first."

"Pixie boy?" Jeremy said, obviously getting angry. "That's it, you are going down!"

The resulting battle lasted three weeks, neither fighter giving any ground to the other. Finally the man got a lucky punch in, however, and Jeremy flew out of the ring.

"Very good," the man said. "Despite losing the fight you have passed the test. Next up, Borg-Boy."

"Lets get it on," Kalshion said, showing a determination to succeed. He was not angry at the comment made, however, but still just as powerful a fighter. His calmness allowed him to think through his attacks more easily, and he lasted a full month before being knocked out of the ring.

"Better," the man said, staring at Kalshion. "You too pass."

"That leaves me," Sonic said, not allowing the man to make a comment about him. "You won't find me as easily beaten."

"We will see about that," the man said, grinning as he attacked. Sparks flew everywhere as the swords collided, and both fighters were using chi-based attacks whenever possible, but again it seemed like an equal match. After twenty minutes, however, Sonic gave what could only be described as an 'I have something up my sleeve' grin, and the man was starting to wonder what was going on. The two came off of each other with a bright flash, Sonic landing in the center of the ring and the man landing near the edge.

"FLYING SWORDS!" Sonic screamed as chi infused his sword. Seconds later a chi-sword appeared in the air nearby. Then another, and another, for a good ten minutes. When all was said and done there were a hundred swords, and they all started circling the ring. The man was barely keeping his ground, knocking the additional swords away as they came at him. This kept him occupied enough so that he didn't notice Sonic's fist until it was too late.

"Guess Sonic won," Rose said, kneeling down next to the fallen man. "Care to open the gate now?"

"Sure thing," the man said, throwing his sword into the gap between the doors. A hidden switch triggered and the gate opened, allowing the group to pass.

"Thanks bud," Sonic said, stepping over the man. "You need a little work, though."

"No problem," the man answered as he went unconscious.

"Think that is the next gate?" Katarina asked, gesturing to a large stone structure up ahead.

"Probably," Cologne said. "Wonder what we have to do to pass through that one."

"Cut it open," a young man said. "With this Kendo Stick."

"Gimme that," Jeremy said, grabbing the wooden sword. Moments later the gate was in pieces, sliced apart by the sword. "I did enough of that training for the last gate."

"Figures," the young man said, walking away as the group passed through the gate.

"That was easy," Sonic said. "Wonder what the next gate is."

"Looks like a fast food restaurant," Hikeya said, pointing at a large building with the double-M symbol on it. "Dang, no play area."

"Fast food?" Katarina and Emily said at the same time.

"Says take away," Cologne said. "Must be related to martial arts takeout."

"Martial Arts Takeout?" most of the group asked. Ukyo and Shampoo, having been quiet for most of the journey, just collapsed.

"You got that right," a fat old man said, walking over to the group. "The only way to get through here is to win a Martial Arts Takeout race."

"Then lets get going," Hikeya said, moving towards the man.

"Sorry little lady," the man said. "You are too young. Same goes for that fox girl over there."

"They sure are getting it easy," Sonic noted.

"You three guys get to sit it out too," the man added. "This is a girls-only event."

"Cool," Kalshion said. "Where is the nearest place to take a bath?"

"Right over there," the man said, pointing at a hot spring. "There is a small water fun area for the kids in there too."

"YAY!" Hikeya and Tommy yelled, running for the springs. The guys shrugged and went to bathe while the girls dealt with the race.

"So where we begin?" Shampoo asked.

"You think you can just go right into the race?" the man said, laughing. Ukyo just grinned, while Rose, Emily, and Katarina just looked at them funny. Cologne's expression was, as usual, mostly unreadable.

"How many people have to win?" Ukyo asked.

"Just one," the man said.

"Shampoo, go get 'em," Ukyo said, grinning at Shampoo. Shampoo just grinned back and picked up a Ramen Holder.

"Let me introduce the competition," the man said, turning to a large group of females coming from the restaurant. Each picked up a Ramen holder and got at the starting line.

"Just start the race," Ukyo said, selling Okonomiyaki to people that had appeared out of nowhere to watch.

"Ok already," the man said, firing a pistol into the air. Shampoo was left standing on the starting line as the rest of the girls vanished down the track.

"This too easy," Shampoo said, pulling her bike out of nowhere and mowing down all the other girls. Five minutes later she had won.

"What took you?" Ukyo asked Shampoo as she stepped off her bike.

"Forgot to tie shoe," Shampoo said.

"You must be from the Cat Cafe," the man said, looking at Shampoo.

"I didn't know we were that famous," Cologne said.

"I just recognize the tread marks she left on half the girls out there," the man said. "Found the same kind on Ranma Saotome a while back."

"Shampoo," Cologne said. "You really shouldn't run him down like that."

"Why not?" Shampoo countered. "Is good practice."

"What is keeping the guys?" Katarina asked, turning to the hot springs. "They should be out by now."

"Probably trying to get the kids to stop playing," Rose joked. Three nanoseconds later Tommy fell on her.

"Or not," Hikeya said, appearing out of nowhere to yank Tommy off of Rose.

"We finished our bath a few minutes ago," Jeremy said. "We were just grabbing a meal in the restaurant."

"Did you bring us anything?" Rose asked, glaring at Sonic.

"They gave us free food because you were supposed to be competing," Sonic responded. "I thought they were giving you food too."

"Lets go," Katarina said. "Maybe we can get something at the next gate."

After some more pointless arguing the group moved on, finding a small inn just as night was falling.

"Hinata Inn," Rose read. "This could be an issue."

"I don't see an issue," Emily joked, looking over at Jeremy with a 'Haha, you get to sleep outside' look.

"I don't know," Sonic said. "This is the home of the only person on the planet to be launched into the sky more often then Happosai." As he finished saying this Keitaro flew out from behind the inn. "There he goes now."

"Rats," Emily said, snapping her fingers. The group walked into the inn, amazingly finding that Keitaro was already back. Soon they all had sleeping arrangements, the boys joining Keitaro in his room while the girls spread out around the rest of the inn. Amazingly enough they all got to sleep that night without issue, but the boys woke up to a small scratching sound.

"What is that?" Kalshion said, rubbing his eyes.

"Sounds like a tree branch or something," Jeremy said. "Ignore it."

"It is coming from the hall," Kalshion said.

"In that case," Sonic said. "It sounds like a fox-girl."

"Why would Tommy be walking around in the middle of the night?" Jeremy asked.

"Because I want to play pranks on the girls," came Tommy's voice from the other side of the door.

"Still a guy at heart, eh Tommy," Sonic said.

"Yep," Tommy responded. Had the door been open they would have seen one hell of a grin on the little fox-girl's face. "Want to join me?"

"Sure thing," Kalshion said, jumping up. Sonic and Jeremy joined him, and soon the four pranksters, as they had named themselves at some point, were off. First stop was room 201, where Hikeya had joined Shinobu. They didn't do much here, just a small collection of fake bugs. They were in and out quickly and quietly, and soon had moved on to room 205. There they found Cologne and Shampoo bunking with Mitsune. Knowing that Cologne and Shampoo would be hard to crack they decided to put skeletons next to them, one the size of and dressed to look like Cologne put next to Shampoo and vise-versa. Mitsune, on the other hand, had all of her alcohol stash replaced with plain water and a skull hung above her head.

"This is fun," Tommy whispered as the four climbed the stairs.

"Keep it down," Sonic said.

They made their next stop room 304, Naru's room. Rose was bunking with her, and Sonic created a realistic-looking Keitaro dummy hanging from the ceiling above Naru's head to start things off. He then took a personal touch of putting a weird goop in Rose's bright pink hair, making it look green. Sneaking off, the group moved down the hall to Room 302, Motoko's room. Katarina was bunking with her, so while Kalshion was erecting a giant spider over her head the other three surrounded Motoko with fake turtles. Before they left they replaced any non-feminine clothing with highly feminine clothing, then moved onto Su's room, 301. Here Emily and Ukyo were bunking, for some reason both huddling in the corner in their sleep. Strewn around the room were various Borg parts, looking like they were torn off of operational Borg. To start things off the four pranksters changed all the labels on Ukyo's Okonomiyaki ingredients. They then tied Ukyo and Emily together, with Emily's hands tied to Ukyo's feet and vice versa. After that they collected a bunch of Borg parts and made it look like they were about to kill Su, before sneaking off. Along the way they found Toma, and set up a dummy that looked like Motoko about to cut Toma in half.

By this point it was almost morning, and the four pranksters went and whipped up some breakfast as an alibi. They rang a LARGE chime when breakfast was ready, then immediately covered their ears. They then heard a loud joint scream, followed by a few single ones. Several of their creations flew out of the building, even though they didn't see that, and Keitaro himself soon followed. Five minutes later the three guys of the four pranksters were flying next to Keitaro up in the air, and when someone recognized Tommy's top in Su's room she joined the four.

"Nice view up here," Sonic commented.

"That is the only good thing about it," Keitaro said.

"What are the bad things?" Jeremy asked.

"Takeoff isn't as bad as landing," Keitaro answered.

"Oh well," Tommy said. "At least their initial reaction was funny."

"YOU DID THIS?" Keitaro yelled.

"Yep," Kalshion said.

"That's it," Keitaro said, launching the four pranksters even higher into the air. "Have a nice landing at Jusenkyo!"

The four pranksters turned to each other. "JUSENKYO?" Soon they could see the springs, and were all searching for something, anything, to prevent themselves from landing in one. Amazingly enough, none of them had anything with them to help, and it seemed like they were on a one-way ride to being cursed. Sonic, Jeremy, and Kalshion all fell into one spring while Tommy fell into a second, and all were shocked when they came out the same as they had gone in.

"What happened?" Sonic said, looking around. "This IS Jusenkyo, right?"

"You lucky," the guide showed up saying. "You boys fall in spring of drowned boy, while that fox girl fall in spring of drowned fox demoness."

"What are the odds?" Kalshion said, picking Tommy out of the pool where she had gone unconscious.

"Fifty five billion to zero," the guide said. "As in it has never happened before, and by the additional curses placed on these springs should never have happened."

"Cool," Jeremy said. "Better make it Fifty Five Billion to one then." The four then left, the guide just shaking his head and walking away in the other direction. The four pranksters quickly found their way back to the inn, to their surprise, and found the girls ready to go.

"You four ready?" Rose asked.

"Yep," Sonic said. "Nothing like going after some more gates after beating some of the toughest odds in the matrix, right guys?"

"You said it," Kalshion agreed. The other two just nodded as the girls raised their eyebrows.

"Lets get going," Hikeya said, leading the way.

An hour later

"So you pulled off not getting cursed, eh," Emily said. "Too bad, it would have served you right for what you did to us."

"It was Tommy's idea," Jeremy countered.

"If none of you noticed," Kalshion interrupted, "we are at the next gate."

"What is the challenge this time?" Sonic called out.

"Nothing too hard," the gate itself answered, giving the group a shock. "Just some Anything Goes Martial Arts Football."

"American Football?" Tommy asked.

"No, what Americans call Soccer," the gate responded.

"Whom are we playing against?" Cologne asked.

"Them," the gate said, somehow gesturing at a group of people that looked like they could go THROUGH the Great Wall of China without breaking stride.

"Looks good to me," Sonic said, the group somehow having changed into uniforms. "Cologne, care to play goalie?"

"Works for me," Cologne said, bouncing over to the goal. The rest of the group spread out on the field, and prepared to play the roughest game of football ever attempted. The only thing missing was...

BOOOOM

"Battle mode 0999," the newly fallen Dark Judge called out. "Ready....FIGHT!"

...no longer missing. The two teams attacked each other ferociously, the soccer ball flying all over the place. At some point Tommy got sneaky and turned into a soccer ball for a minute, throwing the opposing team off and allowing Sonic to get a goal in.

"How did she do that?" Emily asked.

"No clue," Ukyo answered.

Six hours later the score was tied, in major overtime, and both teams had just about had it. The next goal would win, but nobody seemed to be able to get a goal. That is, until Sonic whispered into Tommy's ear and arranged for a giant pink top to flatten the enemy goalie during an all out rush to score, winning the game just before everyone on the field fell and slept till the next morning.

Off in the control room

"Ooops," Saraia said. "I have an appointment. LUPIN, GET IN HERE!"

"Yes maa'm," Lupin said, rushing through the door.

"Make sure this klutz doesn't screw anything up too badly, ok?" Saraia said.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A KLUTZ?" Nadesiko yelled.

"You," Saraia said, walking out the door. "Now play nice."

"Will do," Lupin said, a nasty look on his face. He was soon face down on the floor under Nadesiko's foot.

The next morning on the football field

"Remind me to never sleep on a playing field again," Kalshion moaned.

"Me agree," Shampoo said, pulling herself off the ground.

"Lets get going to the next gate," Sonic said, heading off through the open gate they had earned passage through. Moments later they were at another gate.

"Football again," the gate said, grinning.

"We just did that," Tommy yelled.

"This time it is American Football," the gate said. "Bring out the pigskin!"

"I suppose it would be useless to try and blow you up, right?" Rose asked the gate.

"You got that right sister," the gate responded.

"Lets get going then," Emily said, dragging Rose off to the field. The dark judge was already there, and the game commenced. Fifteen minutes later Rose had used an extraordinary display of chi to knock the other team out cold, and the group won by default.

"Why didn't you do that yesterday?" Hikeya asked.

"I wasn't angry yesterday," Rose responded, walking off through the gate.

The group shrugged and walked off, spending a good three hours getting to the next gate. None of them had eaten in over twenty-four hours, and were all pretty hungry, when they came across another restaurant gate.

"More fast food?" Jeremy said.

"Martial Arts Dining," a French man said. "You must win to pass. If you lose you must pay for both meals."

"Works for us," the group said, bowling the man over to get inside. As soon as they were inside they sat down and waited for the battle to begin.

"Due to the nature of your opponent," an official told the group, "you will be allowed to work together as a team."

"Our opponent is THAT good?" Sonic said, getting worried.

The announcer turned to a nearby door that a man was walking through. "Introducing the leader of the Founding School of Martial Arts Dining, the one, the only, Master of Magic!"

"How much could he eat?" Rose said to herself.

"Weighing in at whatever he feels like weighing in at," the announcer continued. "Holding the record of fifty five trillion tons of food eaten in fifteen seconds, the reigning champion will be facing off against this team of measly amateurs."

"NOW I am worried," Rose said.

"Don't be," the Master of Magic said. "I just had a fifty four trillion, nine hundred ninety nine billion, nine hundred ninety nine million, nine hundred ninety nine thousand, nine hundred ninety nine ton snack."

"In other words," Cologne said. "We have to be able to eat a little more then a ton of food."

"Who said that was all I could eat?" the Master of Magic responded, grinning.

"Can we call in some more teammates?" Sonic asked.

"Sure thing," the official said, directing Sonic to the phone. Moments later he returned, refusing to answer questions about who he had called. After a few tense moments the doorbell rang, and someone moved to answer it. They soon regretted this, however, as the entire population of Nerima flooded through the doors and filled the room.

"Call enough people?" the official asked.

"I called one person," Sonic said. "I just figured Ryoga would cause the word to spread faster then any other means."

"He isn't here, of course," Cologne noted.

"Who cares," Tommy yelled. "LET'S EAT!" The resulting devouring of food caused mayhem like none that had ever been seen before, and MM was still leading. This was despite the fact that everyone who knew how was feeding both his or her own face and MM's, and it looked like a losing battle. Still, however, more and more people showed up in a torrent of new diners and slowly they started to catch up to MM. Finally Soun, Genma, and Happosai showed up and threw the balance right out the window, causing MM to lose by a half plate of food.

"The main course wasn't half bad," MM commented with a decidedly evil grin. "Now for dessert, my favorite part of the meal." With over half the people there already filled to over normal capacity things weren't looking good.

"We need some serious firepower here," Rose said, running to the phone.

"Who is she calling?" Emily wondered.

"We will find out soon enough," Cologne said, watching Rose come back with her own evil grin.

"How long are you going to let me digest the main course?" MM asked.

"Oh, I would say five seconds," Rose answered. Seconds later the doors flew open once more and a streak of light flew over to a table. The bell to start went off and the desserts came before anyone saw who had entered, and to everyone's surprise MM was having trouble keeping up. Finally more people showed up and MM started to fall behind, finally losing by a full table full of food.

"Nice weapon," MM said. "Good idea to call Kero in. I think he loves sugar more then I do."

"He doesn't hold it as well as you do though," Sonic noted, jerking his thumb at a giant round yellow ball sitting on one of the tables.

"Wonder how long till Sakura finds out," Rose commented. "I am sure she won't be happy about it."

"Hey Kero," said Sonic quickly writing a letter, "Give this to Sakura, it should get you off the hook. And what ever you do, DON'T READ IT."

"You guys gotta run," MM said, throwing the money for the food on the table. "Cya." With that he left, returning to the control room where Nadesiko and Lupin were engaged in some impromptu boxing.

"You let them off easy, didn't you," Nadesiko commented. "I have seen you eat much more then that."

"So I kept one hand tied behind my back," MM said.

"I thought it was both hands," Lupin threw out.

"So I am modest," MM threw back. "Wonder when they will figure out that the food was cursed."

"Yea, right," Lupin said. "Like coating it all in laxatives can be considered a curse."

Back in the dining hall

"So how many pounds of laxative did you avoid," Sonic asked Rose.

"Enough so that it won't cause me trouble," Rose responded. "Wonder when MM will realize we fed him all of our laxatives."

"Good thing laxatives don't affect magical beasts like myself," Kero said, trying to fly off without much success.

"It was probably magical laxative," Rose told him. "Might affect you anyway."

"Gotta be magic," Sonic said, pointing at the line to the restrooms. "Look how quickly it works."

"Still won't affect me," Kero said. "Last time I checked I don't have that equipment."

"Well, have a fun trip back," Rose said.

"I don't have far to go," Kero said, rolling towards the door. "Sakura's house ended up across the street."

"We don't have time," Sonic said, dragging Rose through the gate.

Back in the control room.....again

"Did you have to bring Sakura here?" Nadesiko said, glaring at MM.

"Why not?" MM said. "She isn't exactly having a rotten time."

"Can't you leave any part of this matrix alone?" Nadesiko said, glaring at MM even more.

"I left all the boring parts alone," MM said. "Your family isn't exactly boring."

"You have a point," Nadesiko said. "Just leave Sakura out of the main story, ok?"

"Oh all right," MM said, deleting three events with Sakura planned to appear. "You happy?"

"As happy as I am going to get," Nadesiko said. "How are you dealing with that laxative?"

"Magically enchanted to not affect me," MM responded.

With the group as they reach the next gate

"Looks like a basketball gate," Sonic said, noting the hoop at the top of the gate.

"What is with this place and sports?" Ukyo said.

"Sports are a traditional way to compete," Cologne answered. "It only makes sense to use them."

"Well I wish that we could get a longer break from them," Ukyo said as she walked on to the court. Somehow the group had, once again, changed into uniforms in the open without anyone seeing them changing.

"Lets get this started," Sonic said, taking center court.

"Hold it," an official said. "Kids might be allowed in other sports in this world, but not on my court."

"Cool," Hikeya and Tommy said, already in the bleachers wearing fan getups and chowing down on food items. "We get to watch."

"How can they be hungry?" Jeremy wondered.

"Must have been the twenty minute trip to the bathroom after those laxatives hit," Emily answered.

"Shampoo no like laxatives," Shampoo said, noting the location of the bathroom just in case.

"So where is the judge?" Sonic asked, looking up at the sky.

"Judge's day off," the official said.

"Cool," Sonic said. "Shall we get to the whomping?"

"Sure thing," the official said, throwing the ball into the air. Three nanoseconds later it was in the hoop, scoring three points as a blue glow that had been pushing it vanished.

"Nice one," Rose said, hi-fiving Sonic. Two seconds later they were watching a black energy blast drop the ball in the other basket.

"CHI BATTLE!" the official yelled and within a second every player on the field that knew how to manipulate chi was doing so, the others just trying to survive. When all was said and done Ukyo and a scrawny little nothing of a player were the only two left standing, everyone else having been knocked out in various ways.

"This should be easy," Ukyo said, dunking the basketball as only she could - with a spatula.

"What happened?" the scrawny player asked. "I can't see."

"Here," an official said, pulling something out of a bag and handing it to the player. "Try these."

After a moment the player turned around, wearing an ugly pair of glasses. "I can see," the player said. "I can PLAY!" With this the player went from a scrawny excuse for a human being to a man that looked like he could match the Cult of the Muscle Sword in raw power. He then grabbed the ball, which blew up in his hands the second he touched it.

"You can't touch the ball," Ukyo yelled, falling over laughing.

"Shit," the player said. "My team is behind and I can't even touch the ball long enough to score."

"Looks like we win," Ukyo said. "We just have to wait for the time to run out."

"Damn you," the player said. "I quit." With that he pulled the glasses off, reverted to a pathetic weakling, and left. Or tried to, anyway, before Ukyo helped him find the door.

"Guess you win by default," the official said. "When your team wakes up you can give them the news. I am going golfing."

That night

"This has been too easy," Sonic said, chowing down on a burger. "These games haven't lasted long at all. Something big must be coming up."

"Given the fight that those two narrators up there are having," Rose said, looking out a nearby window at the massive storm outside. "I would say it is a tad out of the norm."

"How do you know that the storm is narrators fighting?" Emily asked.

"Why else would lightning bolts spell out things like You can't do that to them and Yes I can?" Rose responded.

"Good point," Jeremy said, snatching one of Emily's French fries. "Just hope that we don't get the short end of the stick."

"I am hitting the sack," Emily said, walking off to the girl's room. "See you guys in the morning."

"Wait up," Katarina said, getting up. Soon all the girls had gone off, leaving the guys to clean up. They did so quickly, and headed off to their room.

"Time to prepare," Jeremy said, going through his bag.

"Prepare for what?" Kalshion asked.

"For revenge," Jeremy responded.

"Didn't we get them," Sonic said. "Not the other way around?"

"Exactly," Jeremy said. "I don't know about you two, but I know my sister will be trying something soon. I want to be ready for her revenge attempt."

"Good point," Sonic said, going through his own bag. "Where are those security devices I bought off of Washu?"

"You got Washu to sell you security devices?" Jeremy said, looking at Sonic with awe. "How?"

"Long story," Sonic said, holding up the devices. "Lets just get these installed."

"Who on earth is Washu?" Kalshion said, looking at the other two.

"Never mind," Jeremy said. "Lets just get moving so we can get some sleep."

Twenty minutes later the security devices, as well as a couple of Jeremy's traps, were installed and the guys were asleep. The girls, however, were just getting started down the hall.

"If I know my brother," Emily said. "And I assure you, I do, he will have set a trap for us."

"That means that Sonic probably threw in something of his own as well," Rose said. "Shouldn't be too hard to handle."

"Yea," Ukyo said. "What could they possibly do, transport us to Jusenkyo?" With that the entire lot of girls fell over laughing at the idea, soon getting themselves together and heading down the hall.

"Spread out," Cologne whispered. "There is something attached to each door and window."

"Sounds like my brother," Emily mumbled. Soon they had spread out to the various ways into the room and at Rose's signal slid the doors and windows open, without knocking of course. A split second later the security devices triggered and all the girls found themselves in the air above Jusenkyo, falling quickly.

"How?" Shampoo started, grabbing a pole just before she would have landed in one of the springs. Cologne used her cane to stop herself from falling in a somewhat shallow pool, but noticed that none of the others had fared as well. When all was said and done Ukyo had become a dog, Hikeya was still playing a white rabbit, Katarina was a Kitten, Emily had turned into a boy, and Rose was a duplicate of the Borg Queen. Nobody had noticed that Tommy hadn't actually triggered the security device, but then again they didn't notice Tommy sneaking off to the kitchen either.

"You didn't knock, did you," came the Guide's voice.

"Blasted Washu," Emily said, shocking herself with her altered voice. "Wonder how Jeremy got those security devices."

"He didn't," Rose said, finding that she had the body of the Borg Queen, but not the link to the collective. "I don't know how, but I know that Sonic somehow bought them without me knowing."

"So he can be sneaky with you after all," Cologne said, grinning. "Lets get you all some hot water."

The next morning

"So girls," Sonic said as he entered the dining room. The girls were sitting around the table, in their normal forms, all staring at him as he entered. "I understand that only Cologne escaped the springs without having a curse last night."

"What you mean," Shampoo asked. "Me not fall in spring either." A moment later she was hit by a glass of cold water, and immediately changed into a cat.

"You had a curse before this RPG began, and thus it didn't get removed before," Sonic said, grinning.

"How did you know that little detail?" Rose asked, staring at Sonic.

"The Jusenkyo Guide was in on our little security system," Jeremy said as he walked in, grabbing a doughnut off the table. "Got a letter from him this morning detailing your curses for us."

"We got up extra early to make it up to you though," Kalshion said, walking in and grabbing some food of his own.

"Is that so," Ukyo said, glaring at the guys. "And what would that entail?"

"Special delivery from a local MMart," Sonic said. "Removes any Jusenkyo Curse obtained in the past 48 hours."

"Rats," Hikeya said, snapping her fingers.

"We dumped it in the girl's hot springs out back," Jeremy said. "You have ten minutes before it becomes useless."

"Three nanoseconds," Sonic said, looking at a stopwatch as the remains of a group splash could be heard. "Not bad."

"Too bad it won't help me," Hikeya said.

"Me neither," Shampoo said as she returned from her dip. "But at least me change back to girl for now."

"Tomorrow night the little fox sleeps with you guys," Rose said as she walked back in. "Given Tommy's frame of mind it is only fitting."

"Ok with me," Sonic said, getting up. He had all the security devices back in his private inventory, so that the girls couldn't tamper with them, so he felt somewhat secure. He also knew that tomorrow night the guys would need better traps as well, as the security devices would only be a deterrent.

"We should get going," Cologne said, moving towards the door. She was thinking that once they got past the security devices the guys would be easy prey. If she only knew how wrong she was. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang, minus Tommy, had come back and was ready to go as well.

"Wait for me," Tommy yelled, coming down the back hall.

"Hurry up," Emily scolded. "You are holding us up!"

"Sorry," Tommy apologized. The rest of the girls moved outside, as did Kalshion and Jeremy, leaving Sonic and Tommy alone.

"Did you get it?" Sonic asked Tommy.

"Got enough of it to last us a month," Tommy said, grinning. The two then followed the others outside to continue on to the next gate, not letting the girls see their grins.

Back in the control room

"YOU CAN'T PUT THEM THROUGH THAT!" Nadesiko screamed, shaking the entire complex.

"Of course I can," MM answered calmly. "I can and I will."

"It isn't morally right," Nadesiko argued.

"Morals depend on the views of the creator of the world," MM responded. "I created the world, so I decide the morals involved."

"Damn," Nadesiko said, snapping her fingers. "You have a really good point there."

MM grinned at this. "Of course I do."

"At least give me some more time to come up with a counter argument," Nadesiko pleaded.

"Oh all right," MM said. "If you want to delay the inevitable then it is fine with me."

Back with the group

"Is that the next gate?" Ukyo asked, looking down the path.

"If it is then maybe we should turn back," Katarina responded.

"I would agree," Ukyo said, cringing. "Any place with a statue of Azuza out front is trouble."

"How hard can beating her at figure skating be?" Rose said, pushing the others forward. "Let's go already!" Soon the group was through the front door of the massive skating rink, and saw what was inside.

Back outside of the Tendo Castle

"What a nice day to do laundry," Kasumi said to herself, looking at the sky before returning to hanging clothes on the clothesline. "And there is so much room to hang things out here."

Looking around Kasumi you would see five thousand acres of backyard, a hundred or so dedicated to clotheslines. Just beyond the clotheslines there was a very large pond that Nabiki was floating in the middle of on a small raft. Nothing around seemed capable of breaking the peaceful nature of this area.

Then again, the Skating Rink couldn't exactly be considered to be in the area.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The scream came in like a tidal wave, knocking everything in the area back. The clothes on the clothesline were torn to pieces, the remaining clothes in the basket thrown around the area. Nabiki was thrown off her raft as the scream continued. Eventually Kasumi was thrown back against a nearby hedge, before the scream suddenly stopped. A few moments later a whistling could be heard, followed by a very large splash that drenched the area Kasumi was in. When she finally looked up she noticed something in the pond.

"I wonder why someone would leave the roof of a skating rink in the pond," Kasumi said as she picked up the laundry that had blown around. Nabiki then pulled herself out of the pond, turned around, and just glared at the roof.

We now return you to the source of the scream

"We don't stand a chance," Sonic mumbled, looking at the remains of the rink. "A snowball has a better chance in Hell."

"Actually," came a voice from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. "That scream just froze Hell over."

Everyone in the group turned to Rose at the same time and yelled. "ROSE! NOT SO LOUD NEXT TIME!"

"Hey," Rose said in her defense. "I was shocked to find FIVE THOUSAND AZUZAS in here!"

"Ok, while that is true," Cologne started.

"You no need lose control," Shampoo finished.

"So what do we do now?" Hikeya asked, looking at the rubble that was the rink. "There is no place to skate."

"Narrators," Kalshion yelled. "Any ideas?" After a few moments without an answer he tried again. "NARRATORS?"

Lets go check the control room......

"This isn't good," MM said, looking over the console. "That scream blew everything out."

"So what do we do now?" Nadesiko asked.

"We call in a crew to install the backup unit," MM responded.

"And who would that be?" Nadesiko inquired.

"LUPIN!" MM screamed. A moment later the Lupin gang, including Zenigata, was carrying in the backup unit. "We need that online ASAP."

"Yes sir," Zenigata said.

"No prob pops," Lupin said, getting to work.

Back with the group

"They must have been off-lined by that scream," Jeremy said. "I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing."

"I am hungry," Tommy said, soliciting a glare from the others.

"Go to Hell," Emily said, annoyed.

"THAT'S IT!" Sonic yelled. "Hey Lucifer, can we come down for our battle?"

"I don't know," Lucifer responded. "You are supposed to be dead, soulless, and downright not good to get down here."

"You yourself said it froze over," Sonic responded. "Wouldn't a heated battle do some good?"

"You have a point," Lucifer conceded. "Come on down, the door is behind that boulder over there."

"Seems like an obvious way in," Rose commented.

"There are many ways into Hell," Lucifer responded. "Just very few out."

The group headed down five thousand flights of stairs, finally reaching the outer edges of Hell. The first thing they noticed was that everything was frozen over, all shades of blue. The second thing they noticed was that the temperature was at least two hundred degrees.

"How in Hell can Hell be frozen over at two hundred degrees?" Jeremy asked.

"We normally run at five hundred thousand degrees," a giant red demon said. "I am here to referee your match."

"Do we have a choice?" Katarina asked.

"You can go with the red judge over there," the demon said, thumbing behind him to a red version of the dark judge.

"I think we will go with you," Hikeya said, not liking the look of the Red Judge.

"What was wrong with the dark judge?" Sonic inquired.

"He didn't take well to using methods of torture," the demon responded. "That, and it turns out he had a heart somewhere in his programming. We discovered that while tossing bodies into a fire pit."

"So that one is pure evil?" Sonic said, his curiosity showing.

"We aren't sure how Lucifer did it," the demon continued, "but as far as we can tell that thing is 110% pure evil."

"What is your evil content?" Ukyo asked, shying away from the red judge.

"I am quite low on the scale," the demon responded. "I only read 99.7% evil."

"So what are the rules you are enforcing?" one of the Azuzas asked.

"You are acting civil today," the demon responded. "You must be one of the clones."

"That I am," the Azuza responded. "What are the rules?"

"The only rule is that you can't leave the arena," the demon stated.

"Then lets get started," the Azuza said, just before going into a momentary mind-blank as the real Azuza's personality overwrote her temporary one.

"So we just all fight at once?" Cologne asked. The demon nodded, and directed them towards some changing rooms. Soon the entire group was dressed in figure skating outfits, which got pretty freaky in some cases. For instance, ever seen a fox-girl in a leotard? How about a shriveled up old hag?

"I resent that statement," Cologne yelled.

"I don't," came a demon narrator's voice. "So you can just deal."

"You all ready?" the referee demon asked.

"Yes," Shampoo responded for the group.

"Then you may begin at the sound of the gong," the demon stated.

"What gong?" everyone asked, looking around. The running theory through the minds of Ukyo, Shampoo, and Cologne was that the Azuzas wanted to nab it for themselves.

"Oh, sorry," the demon said. "It seems to be frozen. Just begin."

The battle then started, the group surrounded from the start, the Azuzas coming on like a tidal wave again and again. This continued for three hours, nothing the group doing seeming to help, and they started getting desperate.

"There has to be a trick to defeating these idiots," Kalshion said as he and Tommy covered each other with various attacks. Katarina had teamed up with Hikeya, who was wondering the same thing. Sonic, however, overheard Kalshion's comment and started running things through his head.

"Tommy, Hikeya," Sonic yelled. "You two have any toys on you?"

"I think I do," Hikeya yelled. "Just a stupid doll though."

"Perfect," Sonic said. "Throw it into the air. HIGH into the air."

"What did you say?" Hikeya yelled. "I couldn't hear you."

"Sorry," Sonic yelled back. "Throw it into the air!"

"Ok," Hikeya yelled as she pulled the doll out. The Azuzas around her immediately lunged for it, but she got it high into the air before they could grab it. Soon the group was sitting off to the side sipping drinks and watching the Azuzas battle themselves to the ground.

"Pathetic," came one Azuza voice, from behind the group. "I may want that thing, but I am not crazy enough to try and take it from them."

"WHAT?" The group said, spinning around to find an Azuza behind them.

"The battle knocked some sense into me," the Azuza said. "I probably won't be like this long."

"So are you the real Azuza?" Ukyo asked.

"Yes," Azuza answered. Before she could say another word Ukyo grabbed her and threw her out of the arena.

"The hero's team wins," the referee said, pushing a button that launched the group into a hole in the ceiling. When they emerged on the surface, five hours later, they were all asleep on their feet. The room they ended up in wasn't overly fancy, but it was obviously the exit of the gate they had started the whole trip into the depths of the afterlife at.

When morning arrived they woke up, stretched, and the older girls immediately slapped the guys for sleeping so close to all of them.

"Nice wake-up," Sonic said, rubbing the handprint on his face. "Can we go now?"

"No we can't," Emily said, glaring at Kalshion, who had been closest to her. "We eat now, then we go."

Thus the group ate, and thus the group left.

Meanwhile......

"So how do we interface with this digital world?" one scientist asked.

"With a computer, you dolt," another scientist said, slapping the first across the back of the head.

"Lets see if we can find it on the 'net," a third said, typing away at a computer.

"While you do that I will see if there is a link via power lines," the second said, grabbing some equipment off of a table.

"I guess I will look for wireless signals," the first said, grabbing different equipment.

"Idiots," a fourth scientist mumbled, leaning back in his chair to take a nap while the other three did their research. While he was sleeping the other three scientists made rude comments about him and contemplated playing practical jokes on him as well. Finally they completed their research, however, and had found nothing.

"There has to be an easier way," the second scientist said.

"I will be right back," the fourth scientist said, having woken up a couple minutes before.

"Lazy bum," the first scientist mumbled.

"I heard that," the fourth scientist said, leaving the building. Ten minutes later he returned to find the first three scientists arguing with one another.

"You didn't do your research correctly," one yelled.

"I did mine correctly, he didn't!" another yelled.

"YO," the fourth scientist said. "Lets place a bet. The first one to interface with this digital world thing gets the corner office."

The other three scientists looked at each other, then at the vacant corner office. It was a coveted thing, but they had never come up with a way to determine who would get it. This was their chance, they each thought.

"DEAL!" the first three scientists yelled at once, diving for computers to attack the problem with never before seen dedication.

"Idiots," the fourth scientist said, shaking his head. He walked over to his computer, pulled a digivice and batteries out of his pocket, hooked up the digivice to the computer, and within ten minutes had an interface with the digital world. "I win."

"You WHAT?" the other three said as the fourth scientist rolled his workstation into the corner office.

"I interfaced with the digital world," the fourth scientist said. "See for yourselves."

"Damn you," the second scientist said, glaring at the fourth. "You tricked us."

"But I got the corner office," the fourth scientist said.

"So what do we do now?" the first scientist asked.

"We play," the third said, grinning.

"What should we do first?" the fourth said, cracking his fingers and placing them on his keyboard.

"Crack the security," the first said, pointing at a lock icon on the screen.

"Simple enough," the fourth said, typing like mad.

Back in the digital world

"What the hell is going on?" Rose asked, holding onto a tree as if her life depended on it. The ground was shaking and rolling like it was being thrown around in a tumbler, the weather was going crazy, night and day were fighting for control of the sky, and gravity couldn't tell up from down.

"I dunno," Hikeya said. "But it is funny." She and the others were sitting on a small platform nearby, watching the area Rose was in go crazy while the rest of the world didn't do anything. Well, at least, not until Hikeya finished speaking and everything went black and white. The area Rose was in stopped going insane, and the group was the only thing left in color.

"What happened?" Jeremy said, looking around.

"Looks like everything stopped," Cologne said, hopping up a nearby hill. "Everything except for us, anyway."

"Could this be our next challenge?" Tommy asked.

Back with the scientists

"You would crash it," the third scientist said, looking at the computer screen. "Try to reboot."

"How the hell do you reboot a world?" the fourth asked.

"I would ask the same about crashing one," the first said.

"Hey," the second said. "Someone else just logged in."

"So someone else figured out the interface," the fourth scientist said. "This should be interesting."

Back in the control room

"Someone else is logged in," Nadesiko said, looking at the screen.

"Interesting," MM said, looking at the screen himself. "Looks like they tried to crack the password on the digital world and crashed it instead."

"So where is the reset button?" Nadesiko asked.

"We have to start at the source," MM said, pointing at the screen. "You have the RPG master interface, deal with those scientists first."

"What do I have for options?" Nadesiko mumbled to herself. She finally started typing commands, hoping she wasn't overdoing it.

And now the scientists again

"They are doing something," the fourth scientist said. "But not to the digital world......"

"It says they are modifying the RPG," the first scientist said. "What does that mean?"

"Wait a minute," the third said. "It says something about scientists. I think the RPG is this world!"

"SHIT!" the fourth scientist said, trying to log off. Before he could do so, however, the entire room filled with electrical energy, causing all four scientists to be blown through the ceiling and into the sky. The digivice in the room was destroyed, but everything else seemed intact. Nadesiko's face appeared on the computer screen, looked around, and sighed.

"Guess I overdid it," she said, just before the screen blinked out.

Back in the dead digital world

"Well, this is the next gate," Kalshion said. "Too bad it isn't moving either."

"WARNING," came a loud female voice, obviously computer-generated. "REBOOT COMMENCING."

"Reboot?" Rose said. "Is that good or bad?"

"Bad would be my guess," Sonic said, pointing at the sky. "Unless a giant beam heading straight for us is good."

Before anyone could comment the beam struck the group, shifting colors as the rest of the digital world started back up. When the beam let up the group appeared unharmed.

"That wasn't too bad," Tommy said.

"I feel funny," Hikeya said, dropping to her knees. Tommy did the same a moment later, and the two collapsed.

"Warning," the female voice came again. "Non-digital curses detected."

"Must be because they didn't get their curses removed before we came," Emily said, reaching to help Hikeya up. Katarina reached for Tommy at the same time, but both got shocked and thrown back.

"Initiating curse removal," the female voice continued as two bubbles of energy surrounded Hikeya and Tommy. Electricity sparked between the two orbs as they expanded, the rest of the group backing off as the two orbs met and combined, releasing a massive amount of energy in the process. The orb slowly released all of its energy and faded, leaving a large dragon and a male human Tommy on the ground.

"Guess that clears up that issue," Sonic said, helping Tommy up. "You are male again."

"Yep," Tommy said. "Damn that sucked."

"What do we do with Hikeya?" Rose asked, looking at the dragon.

"I go home," Hikeya answered. "I can't help you much like this."

"Why not?" Tommy asked. "Looks like you could kick some serious butt like that."

"I can't fit through the gate," Hikeya said, gesturing at the gate sized for humans.

"Good point," Katarina said. "Goodbye."

"Bye," Hikeya said, vanishing from the digital world.

"So what do we do here?" Cologne asked nobody in particular, banging on the gate.

"You eat," came a female voice that the group couldn't place.

"Who the hell are you?" Tommy yelled, looking at a figure standing on top of the gate.

"No need to get snippety with me," the female said. "I just wanted to duel you again."

"Have we dueled?" Rose asked, slightly confused in her tone of voice but with an expression that screamed she knew something she wasn't telling.

"Yes we have, but this time will be different," the female yelled. "This time we shall cook our feast then battle over it."

"So we can get you back for that laxative trick last time?" Sonic ventured.

"You can try," the female smirked, "but be warned, I have a black hole for a stomach."

"Is that so," Rose said, glaring.

"I meant that literally," the female said, pulling open her stomach to reveal a black hole that immediately tried to suck the group in. After a moment she shut her stomach, which somehow kept the black hole at bay.

"We don't stand a chance," Ukyo said. "I personally have seen enough of bathrooms recently, you guys can handle this one."

"Me with her," Shampoo said, backing off. Soon it was only Sonic, Rose, and the female.

"Guess we can make it personal now, can't we," the female said, jumping down. "Shall I show you your kitchen?" When she landed the group was shocked to find themselves looking at what appeared to be a girl in her mid to late twenties with bright orange hair wearing clothing that looked like she took them out of Ranma's normal wardrobe.

"You been to China recently?" Tommy asked.

"Silly," the female said. "Where do you think we are?"

"Figures China would go digital," Jeremy commented, looking around. "Much more room for all the people."

"So where do we cook?" Rose said, eager to get started.

"Right this way," the female said, walking over to a metal door. As she approached the door opened, and Sonic and Rose looked inside. They found a kitchen large enough to hold a full weeks worth of food for MM, not that they knew that.

"Wow," Sonic said, opening the pantry door. "We got everything in here!"

"I will be next door," the female said. "Ring the bell when you are ready." She then left to her own kitchen as Rose started to prepare every bad recipe she could think of. Sonic joined her, and soon they were piling carts with the foul dishes. Included were enough foods laden with laxatives to kill several thousand herds of elephants through preventing their weak digestive tracts from actually digesting.

Meanwhile, however, the female was in a similar kitchen cooking as much food as Sonic and Rose, but hers looked edible. Little would Sonic and Rose realize, however, that it was just as bad as their own, before the laxatives were mixed in. Most of these dishes, however, wouldn't kill the elephants through preventing nutrition, but rather through their horrible tastes.

"This is making me hungry," Nadesiko mumbled, walking into the break room. She grabbed some leftovers she had stashed in the fridge and threw them in the microwave, fiddling with its complex controls. Three days later she finally thought she had it, and pushed the start button, only to have the microwave blow up. She walked away, mumbling to herself, as she grabbed a bag of chips off of a stand on her way back to the control room. Little did she know what havoc her tinkering had caused, especially after she had used her console login name and password to get into what she had thought was a help system.

Meanwhile, the three competitors had cooked up a storm and each side had cooking in front of them. At the precise moment the microwave exploded a massive beam of energy fired from the sky and engulfed all the cooking. When it cleared the dishes had been messed up and mixed together, and after a few minutes of discussion the three decided to do the battle with the food as it was, having no idea of the concoction they were about to attempt to eat. Someone rang a bell to start the feeding frenzy, and all three dug in. They ate like they had never eaten before, the food vanishing without anyone being able to see where it went. Finally, after fifty-seven grueling seconds of eating they were done. The official ruling was that the battle was a tie, and the judge left, pulling the tables away and pointing all three to their own private bathrooms nearby.

"Like we will need those," Sonic scoffed.

"Shouldn't be an issue," the female said. "Wasn't like we had anything major to eat, right?"

"I don't think any of us made anything that strong," Rose responded. "Unless we are wimps."

"Or that beam did something," Sonic said, his expression changing to a slightly pained one. Rose soon joined him, halted before she could say anything herself about what might have happened. They were both, however, shocked when the female's eyes bulged and she grabbed her stomach.

What could stop a black hole?" Rose mumbled, just before the female expanded to ten times her original size, nearly perfectly round, before collapsing back into her original shape. Sonic and Rose didn't notice, however, as their own innards weren't faring much better, and in the blink of an eye all three had vanished into the private bathrooms. The sounds that came out were initially disgusting and will not be described here, but the sighs of relief that followed echoed through the digital world.

Back in town with the scientists

"What is going on in the bathroom?" one scientist asked, holding his nose.

"Someone mentioned something on the radio about the digital world," a second said, opening a window.

"The sewage system there crashed and the backup dumped the cause back to the real world," another scientist added. "And where is the air freshener?"

In the control room

"Where is the instant replay button?" Nadesiko mumbled, stuffing her face with chips. "I could have sworn I saw my meatloaf on one of those plates."

Back at the gate

"That was a nice shower," Rose said, coming out of her bathroom.

"It was, wasn't it," the female said. "What is taking Sonic so long?"

"I'm here already," Sonic said, coming out. "So can we pass through the gate now?"

"Sure," the female said as the gate swung open. "By the way, which one of you made the meatloaf?"

"I thought you made it," Sonic said, looking at the female first, then turning to Rose. "Rose, did you make meatloaf?"

"Nope," Rose said. "I had assumed one of you two made it."

"CONGRADULATIONS," a loud, beaming voice yelled from the sky. "You three just won an award for surviving the WORST FOOD EVER!" With that three medals fell on Sonic, Rose, and the female. Attached to each was a small certificate, bearing their names and stating that they had survived eating the foulest concoction to ever come out of a kitchen, the work of four chefs. They were slightly confused as to who the fourth chef was, but they put it out of their minds as they parted ways, the group moving on, MM taking on his usual form and putting his certificate, which had come straight from his boss, on his mantle, which had somehow appeared near the gate long enough for him to put his medal and certificate on it. When he was done he walked through a nearby door, bringing him to who knows where.

"So what do you think will be next?" Tommy asked, kicking a stone as they walked. "This is getting old."

"Did we take a wrong turn?" Emily said, having just gone around a bend in the path to find herself face to face with a rock wall.

"I don't think so," Sonic said, pulling out the map. "There weren't exactly a plethora of side roads."

"Look around," Rose said. "There has to be something out of place here."

"Like that little red ball?" Ukyo said, pointing behind a nearby rock.

"What is a Pokeball doing here?" Rose said, picking it up. "Oh well, might as well find out what is in it." With that she released the Pokemon in the ball, her and Sonic immediately jumping back in fear with hands over their ears.

"Isn't it cute?" Emily said, crouching down next to the pink fluff ball that had come out of the Pokeball. She noticed it was holding a microphone and that there were some speakers nearby.

"Isn't that what they call a Jigglypuff?" Jeremy asked, knowing he should be remembering something important.

"SHIT," Emily said, having heard Jeremy say Jigglypuff. Soon she had covered her ears too, and Jeremy decided to follow suit. Kalshion and Katarina knew something was up, so they joined the other four covering their ears. Cologne, Ukyo, Shampoo, and Tommy just stood there with stupid looks on their faces as the Jigglypuff started to sing. They were soon out cold, and a few minutes later so were the others. The Jigglypuff got angry, pulled the cap off of the microphone to reveal a marker, and started doodling on the group. It got confused for a second when drawing something on Rose, as the scene faded to black.

Somewhere in the cosmos.......

"Where the hell am I?" Q mumbled, looking around. "I wasn't supposed to interrupt the story," he continued, looking at a map that he materialized for the occasion. "I must have taken a wrong turn at Risa........."

In the control room

"Why is the Wigglypuff here?" Nadesiko asked no one in particular. "Isn't it supposed to be putting the group to sleep?"

"You must have sent down Jigglypuff instead," MM said, coming through a door. "They will have some washing up to do when they wake up."

"You mean it is THAT Jigglypuff?" Nadesiko said, staring at the Pokeball in her hands. She started to wonder how she could tell there was a Wigglypuff in it at all.

"Yep," MM said, chuckling. "Lets just hope it doesn't draw any magic symbols or anything."

"We can only hope," Nadesiko said, holding her hand to her face to hide her own giggles.

Now, in the shared dream of our group.....

"Interesting place to put a gate," Ukyo said, noting the void surrounding the area. "In our heads."

"I wonder how our physical bodies will move when we pass through this thing," Cologne said, peering over the edge of the piece of land they were standing on.

"Sleep merely brought you to another plane," a voice came, impossibly echoing through the void. "Here physical attacks mean nothing, your spirit is the key to victory."

"WOULD SOMEONE TELL ME WHY WE HAVE TO DO ALL OF THIS FOR ONE STUPID FORTRESS?" Shampoo yelled, shocking everyone with a combination of her yelling and the perfect grammar she had used.

"How did you do that?" Jeremy asked, his finger in his ear.

"In this plane your mind is in control." The voice answered. "Your physical limitations do not apply, thus the blind can see, the deaf can hear, the mute can speak, and grammar doesn't tend to be as much of a hurdle."

"Cool," Shampoo said, grinning. "When do we fight?"

"When you can trigger that punching bag energy detector," the voice said, a punching bag with a display over it appearing nearby.

"Simple focusing of our energy," Sonic said, holding up his fist. "Piece of cake." With that he punched the bag, registering a one.

"This is a woman's job," Rose said, pushing Sonic out of the way. She charged her fist up visibly, punching the bag. The display stopped at three.

"Anyone here know what they are doing?" Tommy asked. The result was him being thrown into the bag, registering a negative two.

Three hours later the group had pulled off a five by punching all together, and things weren't looking good. They appeared to have no chance of getting past the gate, and there was nowhere else to go.

"What do we do?" Ukyo asked. "We need some help."

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH," came a voice from a portal that opened up above the group. Suddenly Keitaro flew through it, hit the punching bag like a bulldozer, and caused the entire gate to start sparking with energy.

"Wow," was all the group could say.

"Great," Keitaro said, getting up. "Now they are beating me up in my dreams too." He turned around and gave the punching bag a good uppercut, which was apparently too much for the gate to handle, causing the entire thing to blow apart.

"If he has that much spirit energy," Rose said, eyes wide, "imagine how much the girls must have."

"I shudder to think of it," Sonic said, shaking slightly.

"You know, maybe it's just because he hasn't learned to control it....Or he just is to afraid of Girls" responded Cologne.

"I am right here you know," Keitaro said. "My subconscious thinks it is because I am too shy."

"Thanks anyway," Tommy said. "Can we go on now?"

"Go where?" Ukyo asked. "There is nothing but void."

"Oh," Sonic and Rose said together. They then looked at each other, grinned, and pointed at the void where the gate had been. "Into the unknown!"

"Bye", Keitaro said, trying to figure out how he was supposed to get back to his dream as the group stepped into the void. They hovered there for a second before they noticed they weren't standing on anything. Thus, in classic cartoon style, they fell. After a few minutes they saw their bodies below them, in a small hut that they knew they hadn't seen before. Before they could react to this, however, they landed and woke up.

"That was wild," Emily said. "Just wish that the person who moved our bodies had cleaned up the marker."

"Lets wash up and then get moving," Cologne said, hopping off to the baths. Within the hour the group was back out again, Rose staring at her hand.

"Why are you looking at your hand like that?" Sonic asked, worried about Rose's behavior.

"There is a strange tan pattern on it," Rose answered. "Almost like someone drew it there. The thing is, the marker went over it."

"Might as well copy it down, just in case," Ukyo said, pulling out some paper and a pencil. A couple minutes later she had the symbol on paper, and handed the paper to Rose. "Who knows when we will be able to look it up though."

"We have a friend we can ask about it later," Rose said, putting the paper away. "Or at least, I think we can ask them."

"Can we worry about this next gate now?" Tommy asked, tapping his foot as he stood in front of the giant doors blocking their path.

"Oh, sorry," Rose said. "What do we do here?"

"Dodge bush?" Shampoo said, jumping over a bush that had attacked her.

"Not to mention everything else," Katarina said as several trees, a few rocks, and a car attacked them.

"Where did the car come from," Kalshion asked, having decided to fight back against one of the trees.

"I dunno," Jeremy said, kicking a rock into the air. "But these aren't normal rocks."

"They are people in camouflage," Sonic said, cutting the car open to reveal four people that had been wearing it like a costume.

"So you figured it out," the gate said, before it jumped out to flatten the group. Behind it was another, and what they supposed was the real, gate. They quickly dodged the falling gate and started cutting apart every costume that was thrown at them, until finally they had a small group of people in a barren area filled with torn apart costumes.

"Now how do we fight?" one girl asked.

"I don't know," a nearby guy answered. "We ran out of costumes."

"That means we win then," Tommy said, grinning.

"No," another guy answered. "You don't have costumes."

"Says who?" Katarina said, pulling out a sign costume and putting it on. "Now we have one costumed fighter, and you have none."

"Dangit," one girl said, kicking the ground as the gate opened. "We lost." The group went through the gate, Katarina taking the costume off and putting it away.

"Where did you get that?" Kalshion asked, eyeing Katarina.

Katarina grinned before answering. "I stole it off of one of the girls when they attacked me."

"You stole?" Kalshion said, shocked. "I thought you didn't like stealing."

"Lets just say that this whole thing has been a learning experience," Katarina answered, giving Kalshion a light punch in the arm.

"Ok," Kalshion said, giving Katarina a weird look. He then started to mumble something about morals. The group remained silent for the next couple of hours as they moved down the road, until Sonic suddenly stopped, causing a massive pileup as everyone walked into him.

"What was that for?" Rose asked, pushing Emily off of her.

"Something isn't right here," Sonic said, still deep in thought. "These gates are going by too quickly. They aren't providing enough of a challenge. Something is wrong."

"So you want more of a challenge," a familiar voice called out. "In that case, it is time for my gate." With that a large gate fell in front of them on the path, blocking their passage.

"Why can't I place that voice?" Rose asked herself, looking around.

"Because it isn't coming from your chest?" Sonic answered, pointing off to their left. Standing on a rock was Happosai, grinning from ear to ear.

"Someone take his temperature," Jeremy said, looking for a thermometer. "He must be sick to not be glomping on the girls."

"Come now," Happosai said. "Even I can show self control, given the right circumstances."

"And what would those circumstances be?" Cologne asked, giving Happosai a look that could kill. Several trees around Happosai bursting into flames, then falling into ashes emphasized this.

"You are here to learn the art of perversion," Happosai answered. "This is a chance for me to get ten people to cross over, including the one I once loved."

"We have to become perverts to pass?" Katarina said, pulling out a bundle of papers. "That isn't in my contract."

"Page ten, paragraph five," Happosai spat at her. Katarina opened to the aforementioned location in her contract and read aloud.

"At his own discretion, Happosai will block your path until such a time as you have learned to be a pervert. You agree to do so, to the best of your ability, or be punished with a permanent curse that will last the rest of your life, even after the RPG is over." Katarina then gave Happosai a look that killed several more trees and changed the chemical composition of the rock he was standing on.

"About time I got to be bad," Emily said, her grin making her look more evil then Happosai. The rest of the group just turned to her and shook their heads.

"Please tell us how far we have to go before you open that gate," Sonic said, looking at Happosai.

"You have to be able to outdo me at my own art," Happosai said, giving the group a grin that killed several trees behind them through some weird sickness.

"This shouldn't be too hard," Sonic said, walking off. "I will come back when I feel I am ready."

"Figures he would go off on his own," Rose said. "But then again, maybe it would be better if we did this separately."

"Good point," Katarina said. "Lets meet back here when each of us feels we are ready to take the test."

With that the group split up, each going their own way, and Happosai walked into a small control room with cameras following each person. He planned on keeping tabs on them, and get some good sights at pretty girls while he was at it.

Three hours later Sonic, Kalshion, Jeremy, and Tommy were all well on their way to the correct mindset. Emily was shocked to find herself having trouble getting herself to think the way she had to, while the other females were trying not to puke at the thought.

"The guys show promise," Happosai said, trying to glomp onto Nadesiko. "But the girls aren't doing well."

"Get OFF ME YOU PERVERT," Nadesiko yelled, throwing Happosai through a solid titanium wall. "Why do you have to be in here?"

"Because I said so," MM answered, repairing the wall. "Besides, I already told you he won't remember a thing about you when he leaves."

"Why do you have to do that to me," Happosai cried, giving puppy-dog eyes to MM.

"Because you are a pervert that won't keep his mouth shut," MM said, glaring at Happosai. "I should know, I made you nearly indestructible just so your perversity would cause issues."

"Sonic seems to be cutting back," Nadesiko said, ignoring Happosai. "Wonder why."

"You will see," Sonic said, looking at the camera that he, by all rights, shouldn't have known was there.

"I know what he is up to," MM said. "But I know he wouldn't want me blabbing, so I won't."

"How could you know?" Happosai asked, eyeing MM.

"Oh, I have my ways," MM said, turning around and leaving, Nadesiko and Happosai seeing words form on the back of his robes. Just before he vanished they saw that the words said "World's biggest pervert."

"Guess you have to have a hobby after your wife dies," Nadesiko said, turning back to the console.

"I thought I held that title," Happosai said, a tear forming in his eye.

"Suck it up bucko," Nadesiko said, for some reason feeling a little sorry for the pervert. A few nanoseconds later she remembered his last attempt to grope her and that little bit vanished.

"Amazing how time flies in the RPG when looking at it from up here," Happosai said, staring at one of the screens. "This says the girls have been wandering for weeks now."

"Stop looking at the slomo cam," Nadesiko said, slapping Happosai. "They met each other at the Hinata Inn after two months on screen 9."

At the Hinata Inn on screen 9

"This is harder then I thought it would be," Emily said, floating across the hot spring.

"How are we supposed to think like that?" Rose asked herself. She had lost count of how many times she had asked herself the same question over the past couple of months.

"Didn't we come here to figure out how these girls seem to do it?" Ukyo asked as Keitaro flew out a just-made hole in the roof of the inn.

"Why don't we just go to the cursed clothing shop across the street and buy clothes that will make us act like that?" Cologne said, bouncing off of Shampoo's head.

"I tried that when I first showed up," Rose answered. "I wore the clothes for a week, they just buzzed whenever I put them on and didn't do anything."

"Where are the clothes you bought?" Ukyo asked, suddenly interested.

"I think I left them on a tree over there," Rose said, jerking her thumb. "I threw them out a window when they wouldn't work."

"I will be right back," Emily said, running off in the direction Rose had indicated. A few minutes later she came back wearing a pair of panties and a bra, nothing more, and within seconds had pounced on Ukyo. Soon Ukyo was wearing a different pair of panties, but was pulling Emily's bra off. As soon as this was accomplished the two were groping each other in a mildly perverted way, although it was more like how Nabiki had groped Ranma when they first met.

"Figures," Rose mumbled. "It works on them, but not me."

"Shampoo, lets go," Cologne called. "We have some shopping to do."

"Wait for me," Katarina called. "I need some too."

"Now what do I do," Rose mumbled to herself. "They get the easy way out."

"Stick around," Ukyo said, grinning. "Maybe having all of us acting this way around you will work."

"Maybe," Rose said, looking up at the sky. "Somehow I don't think it will happen."

Three weeks later Rose was finding herself acting in ways that proved her wrong, however. She started to join in grope sessions the other girls were having, although everyone seemed to be knocking Keitaro out of the building when she realized he wasn't doing anything on purpose.

Well, she supposed she couldn't vouch for his subconscious mind.

At any rate, it took another month, but soon Rose had gotten herself to a point where she was groping the other girls without prompting, pinching their butts when walking by them, and she had even collected some panties to bribe Happosai with. Or, at least, that is how she was justifying the collection of them. She had begun to wonder how the boys were making out, but decided that it was about time for the girls to go meet up with them to get through the stupid gate and get back to their normal mindsets. They set off the next day, and found themselves at the gate a few minutes later. They figured it had to do with the nature of the RPG, but they couldn't discount Happosai moving the gate.

"So where are the guys?" Ukyo asked, slapping Shampoo's bottom.

"Oh, sorry," Sonic's voice came from a nearby tree. "We have been waiting so long that we decided to take a nap in the trees here."

"Yea," Happosai's voice came. "What kept ya?"

"Mental issues," Rose answered. "So how do we prove ourselves?"

"I test you," came a loud voice. Everyone turned to find a teenage boy dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, barefoot. His hair was brown and styled in a mushroom cut, a small scar crossed his left eye. He walked up to the group, passed the girls, and without warning kicked the tree. Before the boys could react the tree blew apart and they fell to the ground. Sonic and Happosai landed on their feet, the others fell on their behinds.

"Now wait just a minute young fella," Happosai said, eyeing the boy. "Who came and made you an expert on perversity?"

"I have lifted all the girls," the boy started, "minus the old crone, of their undergarments. They haven't even noticed, and the curses on some of the undergarments have been left behind."

"Impossible," Ukyo said.

"I wouldn't be so sure," Rose interrupted. "It has become a tad drafty."

"Here are your undergarments," the boy said, pulling them out of a bag that he had been hiding behind his back. The girls grabbed them and, without thinking, pulled their clothes off to put them on. The boys, minus the teenager, leered as the girls did so.

"I hope you are happy," Emily said, glaring at the boy.

"You passed the first test," the boy answered. "Congratulations."

"Impressive," Happosai said. "But that doesn't make you an expert."

"Ok then," the boy said, pulling out a pipe. "Lets see the boys play with smoke."

The guys all pulled out pipes, lit them up, and blew undergarment smoke designs. The teenage boy examined them all, took some pictures while they were still there, and graded each picture.

"Beat that you amateur," Happosai said, grinning as his near-perfect panties faded away.

"Sure thing old timer," the boy said, blowing an exquisite brassiere. It was so exquisite that it fell to the ground, having become fine silk. Happosai was at a loss for words.

"Do we pass," Jeremy asked. "Or do we have more tests?"

"Sonic passes," the boy said. "As do the girls, minus Rose. The rest need further testing."

"How did Sonic pass?" Rose asked the boy.

"Simple," the boy said, grinning. "He has been sneaking peeks at you this entire time without you noticing. You may also find that he liberated you of your panties a moment ago."

"Sonic," Rose said in a slightly whiny voice, her face redder then a stoplight as she looked down at her feet. Then, after a moment, her head shot up, her fist came back, and she was yelling as Sonic tried to dodge her punch. He failed, and she sent him flying over the gate. "YOU PERVERT!"

"Wasn't that the idea?" Katarina asked nobody in particular as she and the other girls that had passed walked through the slightly open gate.

"Not a bad punch," came another voice. "You need to work on your energy control though, you let some stray in other directions."

"Come on old man," the boy said. "I thought I was supposed to be doing this alone."

"So you are," the old man said, appearing in a tree. His face could not be seen, but his black robes with the unique double-M patch betrayed his identity. He could only be MM. "I am just waiting for you to finish."

"I could have sworn you were MM," Rose said to the boy, looking him over. "But since you aren't, who are you?"

"Who or what I am is nothing of your concern," the boy said. "Although you did do a good job of liberating all the other girls of their undergarments as they left. Granted, Ukyo and Cologne flinched, but close enough. You pass, and may go on."

"Thank you," Rose said, pulling her sleeve back. "I have a score to settle with a certain male."

"As for the rest of you," the boy said, turning to the males remaining. "There are three that need to pass and a fourth that needs to be humiliated. Who shall go first?"

"I will," Kalshion said, stepping forward.

"Ok then," the boy said. "Lets see how much self control you have." With that a team of swimsuit models walked by, and Kalshion leered at them. Once they had left Kalshion turned back to the boy.

"What were you saying?" Kalshion asked the boy.

"No self control," the boy said. "You pass. Who is next?"

"Let me," Tommy said, glaring at Jeremy.

"Ok then," the boy said. "Lets see how well you can grab panties from drying racks."

"Where are the racks?" Tommy asked.

"You figure it out," the boy said, sitting down. Tommy looked around, pulled on a handkerchief, picked up a bag, and vanished into the trees. A few minutes later he landed back in the clearing, pulled his mask off, and dumped the undergarments in front of the boy.

"How is that?" Tommy asked, grinning.

"Not bad," the boy said. "You even organized them in the process. You pass."

"That leaves me," Jeremy said, eager to join the others.

"That it does," the boy said. "Lets see how good you are at peeping into bathrooms."

"What bathrooms?" Jeremy asked.

"The one the girls are bathing in over there," the boy said, gesturing at a window next to the gate.

"Emily is gonna kill me after this," Jeremy mumbled, jumping up to the window. After a few minutes he had gotten an eyeful, and the boy called him down.

"You have passed," the boy said. "They did not notice you."

"Thank god for that," Jeremy said, walking through the gate, the doors closing behind him.

"Now for you little man," the boy said, looking at Happosai. "You have been bested in several respects. Your stealing has been bested by a boy from the USA, your peeping by a boy not of this world."

"I just want to know how you are so perverse at your age," Happosai said.

"His age is questionable," MM said. "He was born of myself just hours ago. He is made of pure perversity, taken from my own body."

"Now I am going back," the boy said, jumping up at MM. Before he collided there was a bright flash, and only MM was there in the tree.

"That was a dirty trick," Happosai said, glaring at MM.

"That you won't remember in, oh, ten seconds," MM said, pulling out a silver rod. Ten seconds later a bright flash left Happosai in a daze, and MM told him some nonsense before vanishing.

"Where am I?" Happosai asked, dazed and confused. After a moment he vanished, off to do who knows what.

In a cavern containing a giant turtle

"How goes the upgrade?" MM asked Su, who was messing around in a control panel on the turtle.

Su mumbled something as she grabbed a banana.

"Let me call in someone to help you," MM said, Su turning around to watch. A moment later a screen opened up in front of MM, showing a young red-haired woman. "Hello there Washu."

"Hi MM," Washu said, obviously working on something. "Long time no see. I assume you are responsible for all the havoc being caused in the matrix recently."

"That I am," MM said, grinning. "Don't suppose you could help with an upgrade?"

"Upgrade what?" Washu said, now seeming to be more interested.

"Su here," MM started, gesturing at Su behind him, "created some Mechanical Turtles that got out of hand. I re-created the machine that was making them, exactly as it had been, but I want the turtles to be more........devastating."

"Tell me where you are and I will be right there," Washu said, grabbing what looked like a toolbox.

"Third door on the right," MM said, grinning again.

"There are only two doors on the right," Washu said, irritated.

"Not any more," MM said, his grin expanding slightly.

A few minutes later Washu and Su were working together, getting along like best friends, as they made the mechanical turtles much more deadly. MM left them, returning to the control room.

In the control room

"Why does the name Washu seem so familiar?" Nadesiko wondered, not noticing that MM had just arrived.

"Does the W-94 sound familiar?" MM asked, surprising Nadesiko.

"You mean it is THAT Washu?" Nadesiko said, after catching her breath. Her face showed panic like none had ever seen before.

"Yep," MM said, continuing to grin. "The one and only creator of the Nexial Extinction Beam, currently banned."

"Please, if there is some higher power out there watching, have mercy on the group," Nadesiko prayed, tears forming in her eyes.

"Sorry," came a resounding voice. "We are having too much fun watching."

"Ok Boss, you don't have to do that," MM said, looking slightly annoyed.

"Yes I do," the voice answered.

We now leave MM and his boss to discuss their points of view as we return to the group

"Wonder what that rumbling is," Cologne said, looking at the clear sky.

"Probably MM fighting with someone," Sonic said, shrugging.

"Anyone bring a flashlight?" Rose asked, having stopped in front of a cave opening.

"I did," Emily said, starting to go through her inventory. Rose, without thinking, grabbed Emily's breast. Before anyone could react, however, Rose had been propelled against the rock wall, while she yelled something that didn't register until it echoed back.

"PERVERT," Rose's voice echoed back.

"How did she do that to herself?" Emily asked, staring, the flashlight in her hand.

"You don't want to know," Sonic said, taking the flashlight to lead the way.

Three hours later

"Please tell me I am hallucinating," Rose said, taking a couple steps back from the large area they had come to.

"If you aren't seeing a giant turtle spitting out smaller turtles then I will," Ukyo said, trying to get a better look at the turtles. "Cute turtles, I might add."

"If those are what we think they are," Sonic started.

"Cute doesn't describe them," Rose finished. Both were backing away, trying to not attract attention. They were too late, however, as one of the turtles saw them. It ceased to look cute when it charged a weapon and fired it, blowing half the opening they had come to away.

"That isn't cute," Emily said, turning to run.

"That isn't Su's work," Sonic agreed, not quite ready to run yet.

"But it felt so familiar," Rose said, preparing to fight the turtles.

Moments later Sonic and Rose turned to each other, panic visible in their eyes. "WASHU!" they both screamed, and a split second later they were leaving dust, the rest of the group struggling to keep up.

"How is running going to help us?" Jeremy asked between gasps for breath.

"It won't," Rose said. "Unless we have something to slow them down. And I have just the thing in mind."

"Then get with the picture," Tommy said. "I can hear those things catching up to us."

"Ok," Rose said, skidding to a halt. She concentrated, pulling energy from within herself. A moment later three pink shield-shaped energy projections left her body, sealing off the passageway with themselves and an energy field surrounding them. Less then a second later a few hundred turtles hit the barrier and blew up. After the last turtle had hit the barrier it vanished, and Rose smiled.

"How's that," grinned Rose, "It's my own technique, Quantum Wings of Tranquility!"

The rest of the group were at a loss for words, they weren't sure if they should be happy she used it, or pissed off that she hadn't used it till now. But soon the silence was brooking with Sonic screaming in Rose's ear with his head three times the normal size.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR OWN TECHNIQUE! YOU STOLE IT FROM THE JURAI FAMILY!" screamed Sonic.

"Be technical why don't you," snared Rose, "They only gave me the idea, the rest was completely original."

"Sure, and Q's son is a mature, responsible and caring individual," said Sonic turning his head the other way in time to see a teenager in a Starfleet Captain's uniform throw a stink bomb pie in his face.

"Yep, I sure am!" laughed the boy before disappearing by snapping his fingers.

"Can we discuss this later?" Cologne asked.

"Why?" Shampoo asked, confused.

"I hear more turtles coming," Cologne said. Everyone listened hard, and sure enough there were more turtles on the way.

"Raise that blasted shield again," Tommy said, grabbing Rose.

"I can't," Rose said. "I didn't hold back enough energy the first time."

"Then I suggest you high tail it out of here," echoed a voice. The group couldn't tell where it came from or anything about the person, but they didn't waste any time dwelling on it either. Instead they did just what the voice recommended, they ran.

Back in the control room

"So what happens when those turtles destroy this node?" Nadesiko asked, sipping on a latte.

"They can't," MM responded, sipping on his own latte. "They are in a digital world. The best they can do is crash the system."

"So you do plan ahead," Nadesiko said, grinning. "I'm impressed."

Back with the group

"Whoever left the blasted microphone on up there is a lifesaver," Sonic yelled, furiously typing away at a pocket computer.

"Now is not the time to schedule your death," Rose yelled.

"No, but it is the perfect time for a system crash," Sonic said, snapping the computer in two. The entire world around them then ground to a halt, including the turtles chasing them.

"Now what?" Ukyo asked, catching her breath.

"Now we delete them," Sonic said, pulling out a second pocket computer. Moments later all the turtles faded away, and the group was pulled forward through the tunnel, past the chamber that no longer held a giant turtle, and out the other end, where the world resumed as if it hadn't stopped, sans turtles.

"So what do you call that attack?" Kalshion asked Sonic.

"The cracker," Sonic said, grinning.

"Why is the sky turning red?" Rose asked, glaring at Sonic.

"How should I know?" Sonic said, bewildered.

"This is an alert," came a computerized voice. "A cracker has infiltrated the digital world. Initiating search and destroy subroutines."

"You know, I don't like the sound of that," Ukyo said, also glaring at Sonic.

"Wonder what the search and destroy subroutines look like," Jeremy said, looking around.

"Doubt you will ever find out about the destroy ones," came an odd voice. The group looked around, finally spotting a small group of what appeared to be lawn gnomes.

"In that case," Emily said, glaring at the gnomes. "You must be the search subroutines."

"That we are," one of the gnomes said, grinning. "However, the destroy subroutines were given the fighting spirit of Ryoga."

"So if they have his fighting spirit, where are they?" Cologne asked.

"Dunno," another gnome answered. "Someone forgot to leave out Ryoga's sense of direction."

"Figures," Sonic said, walking past the gnomes. "Lets get going."

"You aren't going anywhere," came a mysterious voice somewhere in front of the group as the sky went from red to black.

"Cya," one of the gnomes said before they all vanished.

"Time for your next battle," came another voice, this time behind the group.

"Since the destroy subroutines got lost in Hawaii," a third voice started.

"We thought we would have a little fun," a fourth answered.

"So put your guard up," a fifth voice called out.

"What the hell is the type of fighting involved anyway?" Tommy screamed.

"Oh, sorry," the first voice answered. Someone clapped twice, the entire world lit up, and five people were revealed around the group. The first was a young male, mid-teens, wearing shorts, a t-shirt, and a baseball cap. He had no shoes on, but had a grin that spelled trouble. The second, behind the group, was Lupin. To the left of the group was Jigen, with Goemon opposite him. Floating in a balloon above the group was Fujiko.

"Wait for me!" came a female voice, a moment later a young woman came tumbling over the hill. She appeared to be in her thirties with light brown hair cut in a short pageboy style wearing similar clothing to the young man.

"Figures you would be late," Lupin muttered.

"I thought the boy was MM," Sonic said to Rose, looking between the girl and the boy. "But that girl is familiar too. What gives?"

"I think the boy is MM," Rose answered. "But you are right, there is something familiar about the girl."

"You could have at least provided sandals or something," the girl said, glaring at the boy.

"It isn't my fault you didn't read the memo," the boy said, obviously slightly annoyed.

"I am sorry I never learned Klingon," the girl said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Who do we know that would know what Klingon was?" Rose asked herself. "She certainly isn't from any of the nodes Klingons exist in."

"You know," Sonic said, looking the girl and boy over. "They almost look like girlfriend and boyfriend."

"ARE NOT," the girl screamed, Sonic immediately regretting the comment as he was smashed ten feet into the ground. "I had to borrow some of his clothes because mine weren't suited for this battle."

"What kind of battle are t-shirts and shorts suited for?" Rose asked, still trying to figure out where she knew the girl from.

"A water balloon fight," Lupin said, his face lighting up almost as bright as it would if Fujiko had just stripped naked in front of him.

"Is that all?" Tommy said, grinning. "This should be fun."

"What is the catch?" Cologne asked, glaring in the general direction of the boy, who she seemed to sense was hiding something.

"Isn't it obvious?" Ukyo said, somehow having found a balloon. "You get hit, you get cursed. Isn't that how everything innocent looking in this place goes?"

"Good idea!" the boy said, grinning as he waved his hand. "I hadn't even thought of that."

"UKYO!" the rest of the group yelled, causing Ukyo to shrink down on herself in fear.

"So what kind of curses are we talking about here?" Lupin asked, eyeing the group as he lightly tossed his water balloon in the air.

"Nothing too difficult," the boy said. "Just replaced the water with some from a new source."

"Jusenkyo," Shampoo said, her eyes going wide.

"Give the girl a prize," the boy said, jumping behind a rock. A split second later Lupin's balloon had hit Shampoo in the face, leaving behind a wet elephant.

"Penalty curse for Lupin for firing before the battle has started," a voice called. Everyone spun to look at the source of the voice, which was revealed to be a gray judge. A moment later Lupin was hit with a water balloon, leaving a young girl, no older then five, where he had been standing.

"What you do that for?" the girl said with a pouty look on her face.

"This is going to get pretty friggin' confusing," Tommy said, looking around. "Anyone got some weed?"

"Penalty curse for Tommy for mentioning illegal substance in the story," the gray judge said, just before Tommy was hit with a water balloon, leaving behind a small mouse.

"Screw it," the boy said. "Penalty curse for the judge for ruining my fun." With that a water balloon fell on the gray judge, leaving behind a flamingo. "Lets GET IT ON!"

The resulting flurry of water balloons left the entire area covered in weird and interesting animals, people, and strangely enough, a perfectly normal Rose.

"What gives?" a priest asked, before being turned into a dog.

"Good question," Rose said, as a water balloon hit her. She remained unchanged, however, and soon shrugged before flinging more water balloons at other people, animals, or whatever else happened to pop up. The battle raged for hours, until suddenly a small bird flew into its own water balloon, turned into a Borg drone, and pushed a button on its arm. It then quickly got turned into a slug, then an ant, and after that a lizard.

Moments later the sun was blocked out by a giant water balloon being carried in by a Borg sphere. The water balloon was so big that the larger then average sphere was dwarfed by it, and it didn't take the sphere long to release the load and shoot into space at Warp 12. The balloon fell, hitting Rose squarely on the head, and drenching everything for three kilometers.

"That was unexpected," a young boy, no older then three, said, floating to the top of the lake that had formed where the fight had started.

"Now how am I supposed to pick up chicks?" another young boy, the same age as the first, said, also floating to the surface.

"I can't even hold my gun, let alone fire it," a third boy complained.

"What about my sword," a forth threw out.

"How am I supposed to con men out of their money?" a young girl added to the complaints. Before long there were eight young boys, seven young girls, and Rose floating in the slowly draining water. It was soon revealed that there was also a fully functional gray judge in the middle of the temporary lake.

"Why are you back to normal?" Rose asked, looking at the judge.

"I was only five minutes old when I first showed up," the judge responded. "Like aging me to three years old was going to change much."

"So how do I get all you youngsters back to normal?" Rose asked, looking at the group as they regained footing.

"Who are you calling a youngster?" one boy asked.

"You," Rose said without turning to him.

"But...." the boy started. "Awww, hell, why not. I have been everything else today."

"Those of us who were not part of your group will be shedding our curses upon leaving," a young boy said. Rose realized she couldn't tell most of the kids apart well enough, as none of them were wearing clothes and she hadn't known most of them at three.

"Would all of you put on some clothes?" Rose said, averting her eyes. The youngsters looked at one another, the males then flying into the wall behind them as the girls hit them. A few minutes later everyone was dressed and Rose could finally make some headway in identifying people.

"So what about those of us who are part of the group," Sonic asked, looking at the boy that he knew was MM at this point. It wasn't just his gut telling him this, the black cloak shrouding the face in shadows was a part of it too.

"You have to deal," Lupin said, walking through a doorway that had mysteriously appeared. Jigen, Goemon, and Fujiko followed him.

"Just who are you anyway?" Rose asked the young girl that was inching her way to the doorway.

"None of your business at this time," MM said, floating back through the door, pulling the girl with him. "You may eventually meet her in her true form."

"Like during damage control," the girl said just before the door vanished, leaving the group to deal with their own issues.

Meanwhile, MM's boss is watching.......

"If that idiot crashes the Nexial Matrix he will be in SOOOO much trouble........." MM's boss said, staring at a view screen. He couldn't hold back a laugh when Rose was left with a pile of kids, though.

"Sir," an assistant interrupted, trembling slightly. "The latest reports on MM's powers just came in."

"Well then," MM's boss said, staring at the assistant. "Give them to me."

"Yes sir," the assistant said, handing over a folder. Before anything else could be said to him, he left.

"Let's see what the readings show," MM's boss said, pulling out the report. Moments later he had fallen out of his chair, his eyes having blasted themselves right out of their sockets and his jaw acting like a jack as it dropped.

"You okay sir?" an intercom buzzed. "We heard a rather loud explosion come from your office."

"ARE YOU SURE THIS REPORT IS ACCURATE?" MM's boss screamed into the intercom.

"It was checked five billion times, sir," the voice buzzed back.

"How can he be THAT POWERFUL after taking a NAP?" MM's boss yelled, staring at the paper in his hand as if he were looking at a ghost.

Back in the RPG

"Are any of you brats potty-trained?" Rose asked, grumbling as she changed Cologne's diaper.

"Dun think so," Shampoo muttered as she tried to hit Ukyo over the head. Ukyo responded by trying to do the same to Shampoo, the two continuing until Rose broke them up.

"I need a better way to keep control of you brats," Rose said, looking around. She then noticed a baby store, and rushed over. Fifteen minutes later she was pushing a carriage that held nine kids in three rows. It had taken her five minutes to arrange the kids in a manner that kept the bickering down to a dull roar, but it had been worth it.

"Where we going?" Sonic asked, trying to survive in the middle of the other eight kids. Rose had put Tommy in the middle front, and Sonic was having fun beating Tommy's head in with a shoe, but everyone else was trying to hit people over Sonic.

"I have no clue," Rose answered, trudging on.

"You, my dear," Lupin said, surprising everyone as he stepped out from behind a tree. "Well, lets just skip the formalities and go play Poker."

"And what about these nine brats?" Rose asked, eying Lupin.

"Oh, they have to battle," Lupin responded, grinning.

"WHAT?" Rose said, jaw-dropping. "They can't battle in this state!"

"Don't you know anything?" Lupin asked, shaking his head. "They are perfect for Good ol' Days martial arts."

"Oh," Rose said, thinking. She put her index finger on her chin as she looked at a cloud passing by in the sky. The cloud morphed into a spaceship and flew away when Rose looked back at Lupin. "Ok then, where are we playing?"

"In a secluded spot down the hill," Lupin said, nodding his head to a path off of the main road.

"This wouldn't happen to be strip poker?" Rose asked, giving Lupin the look.

"Not unless Data decides to make it so," Lupin answered, grinning. "Although I am sure you know I wouldn't mind."

"I trust data," Rose said, fumbling with the stroller. "Let me let the brats loose for their battle and I will be right there."

"See you soon then," Lupin said, heading off down the path.

"Have fun," Rose said, letting the last of the brats loose. "Give them a good whooping."

"Bye bye," Tommy said in a cute voice. His grin, however, was anything but cute.

"Lets do this," Sonic said, leading the pack onward.

Meanwhile, Rose has reached a secluded cabin deep in the woods

"What do you mean," Rose said, walking along. "There are no woods here and if this is woods I am certainly not deep in them."

"That is what you think," a mysterious voice called out.

"What?" Rose said, stopping to look around. Suddenly a trap door opened below her and she fell......on to the front porch of a secluded cabin deep in some forest....that happened to be deep underground. She stood up, brushed dust off of herself, and walked into the cabin, to find a poker table. Data was sitting in the dealer's seat with Picard and Riker sitting on opposite ends of the table. Lupin was sitting near the middle, but closer to Picard. Rose sat next to Riker, and figuring that more people would show up, waited. Soon enough Nabiki showed up, took one look at Lupin, and sat next to Rose, even though this put her next to Lupin. It didn't take long for a Pikachu to show up, sitting between Lupin and Nabiki, and then MM showed up and sat between Lupin and Picard.

A few minutes later everyone had chips, and the game was on. Meanwhile, however, the brats were meeting their opponents.

"We have to fight THEM?" Sonic said, looking at the five kids in front of them, each wearing a number on their clothing.

"We have to fight THEM?" Number One echoed, looking at the brats. "We are the kids next door, not babysitters."

"Who you calling a baby," Tommy said, glaring at Number One. The others did the same, a battle aura forming around the entire group.

Suddenly a whistle could be heard as an object from orbit came down and slammed into the ground.

"Great, another judge," said Sonic.

"Will it be white or black this time?" asked Emily

The capsule opened to reveal Barney. "Alright kids. Time to have a friendly competition in "Good Ol' Days" Martial Arts."

"You in?" Number Four asked the Brats.

"Yep," the brats responded, and the entire group of kids pounced on Barney and beat him to a pulp. Soon the capsule was heading back into orbit, a dismantled robotic Barney inside.

"Now that we have taken care of that," Number One said, turning to the brats, "shall we do battle?"

"Sure thing," Ukyo said, not waiting before knocking Number 5 back into a tree. Soon an all-out wrestling match was on, nobody using anything from Good Ol' Days martial arts at all.

This, however, soon got boring to watch, as nothing could be seen through the dust. Thus, we return to the poker game, where a new hand has just been dealt.

"Hmmmm," Lupin said, looking at his two cards. He had a King and Ace of Spades, and he had first bet. "All in."

Lupin had, however, been really low on chips, so his "All In" amounted to a mere two thousand. Everyone else quickly matched his bet, and the flop came out, showing a King and an Ace, both of diamonds, as well as a four of hearts. Lupin was beaming, and nobody could do much in the way of betting, so the turn came over, showing a three of clubs. Lupin was, at this point, sure he had done the right thing. The River came over, showing a seven of diamonds. Lupin jumped for joy before Pikachu flipped its cards over, showing the ace of Clubs and the ace of Hearts, causing Lupin to hit the floor hard enough to register on several scales.

A few moments later Pikachu had stacked all its chips and Lupin was walking out the door, calm and carefree. As soon as the door shut, however, a string of swears and several crashes could be heard, as Data dealt the next hand. However, the dust is clearing with the brats, so lets go check on them.

"Take that," Sonic yelled, firing Nerf darts at Number Two.

"Oh yea," Number Two said, dodging and firing a Nerf ball at Sonic.

"Why are we using foam?" Number Five asked, looking at her gun as she was pelted with various foam darts and balls.

"How should we know?" Number One asked. "The guns just appeared."

"It is fun!" Number three yelled, pelting everybody with foam darts. Soon it had become an "every kid for themselves" battle, with nobody actually hurting anyone. This is not, however, overly interesting. For that matter, nothing is happening at the poker table either. Where the hell are we supposed to go?

In Ranma and Akane's room

"Don't look at us," Ranma said, collapsed in a chair. "We are on break."

In the Tendo Castle

"Leave us alone," Soun said, pushing the camera away. "We are watching the poker game."

In the Control Room

"Nope," Nadesiko said, yawning. "I am not even messing things up, for a change."

Shall we try visiting Lupin?

Due to technical difficulties(Lupin stole the camera to cover his Poker losses) we cannot bring you to Lupin at this time

We are officially out of ideas.......So we are bringing you to Happosai

"Get that camera away from me," Happosai said, hitting the camera. "I am watching my exercise videos."

Well, that was it. We don't know what to do. Thus, why don't we give the kids something more dangerous to fight with.

"Finally," the kids said, looking at the sky. "What do we get to fight with now?"

In answer to their question a giant box of toys fell in the middle of the battle. The kids each took one of the toys, looked at the sky, and then back down to the toys. It was obvious that they didn't think these were any more dangerous, but that didn't last long. Each of the toys suddenly started to morph. Yo-yos sprung spikes, action figures turned into battle suits, fake guns became laser blasters, and other wacky changes occurred.

Nothing, however, compared with the Rubix cube Sonic had picked up. The cube split, the twenty-seven cubes growing and changing into a gigantic morphing spaceship with a neural interface, Sonic already strapped into the helm. The Kids Next Door just gaped, and Sonic's "teammates" threw their "toys" aside and started betting candy on how long it would take Sonic to finish the battle.

"Payback time," Sonic thought, and a mouth on the spaceship echoed his thought to the Kids Next Door.

Unfortunately, the massive interference from the powering up of the spaceship killed the camera uplink. Thus, we head back to the poker game.

"We are down to three players," Data said as Picard, Riker, and Nabiki walked off. They had all gone all in with great hands, but Pikachu had come out on top with a Royal Flush. Pikachu was currently the chip leader, followed closely by MM, with Rose being a mere chip farther behind. All in all, it was now a very close game as the initial cards were dealt. None of the players knew it, but they all had Ace King, each in a different suit. Hearts was the only suit not held by a player, and when the flop came over it was Queen Jack Ten, all hearts. A fierce round of betting went on, each player having a straight. Next card up was the King of hearts, which was followed by even more betting. Finally, the river came up, the ace of hearts. Everyone at the table, certain the cards they held would give them victory, bet like crazy. Rose went all in, and Pikachu and MM quickly called her. Finally, all bets having been made, everyone flipped their cards over.

Unfortunately, the resulting earthquake has now knocked out ALL of our land-based cameras. Thus, we are going to a satellite, which will show us what kind of destruction Sonic has done to the Kids Next Door.

That is, of course, as soon as we can pinpoint the battle location from space. They were in sector 87c, so that means we have to focus in on that giant crater that can be seen without zooming. Not that we can see much more about it as we zoom in, as there is nothing there to see. The Kids Next Door and the group are both gone, or buried.

RRRRRIIIIIIIIIIING

Oooops, the phone, hold on. Click Hello? Oh, hi Nadesiko. What do you want? Oh, sorry, I should have realized that. Thanks. See you soon. Bye. Click Nadesiko has just informed us that we should be able to get our cameras back online by pressing the camera reset button, so give us a second to do so.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZT

There we go, a nice shocker to wake up all the cameramen. Now, lets go to that battle and see if we can find some survivors. Otherwise, it is going to be a very boring eternity with no heroes to end this game.

"Survivors?" came the voice of a young boy. "We all survived."

"Yea," came a young girl's voice. "We just decided that enough was enough, and decided to finish this in the arcade."

"WHAT ARCADE?" came the announcer's voice.

"The one that Sonic morphed his ship into," came another young girl's voice.

"Leave us alone, the cameras can't see what is going on in these VR games anyway," came Sonic's voice. "We will let you know who won in an hour or so."

"Go watch that blasted poker game," came another voice, impossible to tell between male and female.

Thus, the camera jumped to the poker game, where MM has apparently gone out and is watching from the side as Rose and Pikachu battle it out, head to head.

"Pika, Pikachu," Pikachu said, raising a few thousand dollars.

Rose sat there with some sweat on her forehead. She looked at the five community cards, the four aces and the Two of Spades. "Fine, I see your few thousand and raise you one million!" she said slapping down a one million dollar bill with an elephant head on it.

"PIIIIKACHUUUU!" yelled Pikachu shocking Rose with a thunderbolt, "Pika, pikapikachu!"

"A...Alright! I'll use real currency," said Rose taking back the million-dollar bill and replacing it with another bill that had the "MM" logo on it.

"Pikachu," smiled Pikachu in satisfaction and raising the rest of his money into the pot.

"Confident, aren't we," said Rose calling him and placing the rest of her money in also, "So watcha have?"

Pikachu grinned and placed his cards down, which were the King of Clubs and the King of Spades.

"NO, NO WAY!" said Rose dropping her cards to reveal having the King of Hearts and the King of Diamonds.

"Isn't that hand five hundred between you two to end in a draw?" MM asked from the corner.

"No, it was not," Data spoke up. "That was hand five hundred forty three to end in a draw between these two."

"Oh, my mistake," MM replied. "At any rate, I figure we need some real competition in here, so I called in Milly."

"Milly?" Rose said, looking at MM oddly, having just put everything in on her hand. Pikachu had done the same a moment before, suddenly deciding that the loss was worth it, and leaving.

"Yes, Milly," MM said. "The winner between you and Milly gets an age restoration ray."

"Where do I sit?" a female voice called out.

"In any open seat," Data responded. Two girls then walked in, one taller then the other. Rose looked at the two of them, and the shorter one seemed to be more alert then the taller one. She was thus surprised when the taller one sat down at the table, and the shorter one leaned against the wall next to MM.

"How are you Meryl," MM asked.

"I am fine," Meryl responded. "Wish you hadn't brought us here though."

"You insisted on going with Vash," MM said. "I only did as you requested. Besides, there are no insurance claims for your company here. Take a break."

Meryl just scowled at MM, then turned back to the poker game. Well, that is what she thought she was doing, but Milly had already won all of Rose's chips.

"So what does this thing do?" Milly was asking, looking at the age restoration ray. She then aimed it at Meryl, and fired it. Meryl, for her part, almost died of a heart attack, but was relieved when the ray appeared to do nothing. MM, however, was also hit by the beam, and shrunk down to the size of a nine year old, who then let out a string of swears before snapping its fingers and returning to apparent adult form.

"Talk about age being relative," Rose said, staring at MM. "What kind of lifespan do you have, anyway?"

"Dunno," MM said, looking at Rose. "I will be sure to let you know if I ever die. Be sure to let me know what yours is too, BTW."

"Ummmmmmmmm, right," Rose said, before turning to Milly. "Can I please have that? I need it to return my friends to their normal ages."

"Ok," Milly said, handing the ray over, then turning to Meryl. "That was fun. What are we doing next?"

Rose, however, had already run out of the building and was looking for the little brats. Before long she ran full speed through an invisible doorway, and plowed over Cologne, flew through the air, and dunked herself in a prize machine. Before any of the kids could react, however, she pulled out the age restoration ray and shot everyone with it, thus restoring the group to their rightful ages, the kids next door to their current ages, and causing her stomach to paunch out a good three inches from the ray bouncing off of a mirror and hitting her.

"What the," Rose said, staring at her stomach. "Why did that happen?"

"Looks like you are pregnant," Ukyo said, poking Rose's stomach.

"How could I be pregnant?" Rose answered, confused. A small kick from the life within her threw her over the edge, and she fainted.

Three hours later

"If I know I am not the father, and I know Rose hasn't been with anyone else," Sonic was mumbling, pacing outside the room where Rose was still asleep.

"At least he isn't attacking every male in his sight now," Cologne said, looking through a book. "That bald kid really got a beating."

"Would someone wake Rose up?" came a mysterious voice from the shadows.

"The fabled MM returns," Cologne said, continuing to look through the book. "I still haven't figured out what Rose is pregnant with, so go away."

"MM nothing," the voice came back. "I just can't get past that idiot to get her undergarments."

"PERVERT," Ukyo screamed, flattening Happosai with her spatula, then sending him into orbit via the nearest window.

"He is getting good," Cologne said, a tone of admiration in her voice. "I didn't even realize who he was."

"Me back from scouting," Shampoo said, jumping through the window Happosai had just flown out of. "The next gate is tricky. Only three may pass through it."

"Then me and Sonic are going first," Rose said, shocking everyone.

"When did you wake up? Are you feeling ok? Do you need anything?" Sonic rambled. In five minutes he managed to ask more questions then could be covered in the entire span of Jerry Springer episodes.

"I am fine, can we just go?" Rose said, getting Sonic to stop asking questions. She then dragged him out of the door, and down to the next gate. Before anyone could stop her, she dragged Sonic through the gate......., which promptly slammed shut behind them, preventing anyone else from passing.

"The life within her would have to count towards the three," Cologne said, starting to examine the gate.

Meanwhile, Sonic and Rose haven't noticed that they don't have anyone following them

"Why me," Rose sobbed, while Sonic tried to comfort her.

"Would you two stop that and get ready to fight already?" a large man yelled.

"Who are you," Rose asked between sobs.

"My name is Kahn, and you stand no chance of defeating me," the man responded.

"Says who," Sonic yelled, stepping closer to Kahn.

"Says me and my new backbreaker technique," Kahn said, targeting Rose. This proved to be a bad idea, however. Before Kahn could finish powering up Sonic's eyes had gone to a glowing blue and Kahn was on his way to the nearest moon. The feedback from the attack, however, gave Sonic a shock and knocked him out, leaving Rose the only one standing.

"Note to Sonic," came a computerized voice. "Quantum based attacks are not permitted in the game world. Please do not attempt another one."

"Lets go," Rose said, dragging Sonic past the now-open gate. "I need to find a bathroom."

"Good luck," came a familiar, taunting voice. "You have just passed through the final gate. Welcome to the fortress of doom."

"It is not the fortress of doom," came another familiar voice. "It is just a fortress."

"You have to ruin all my fun, don't you?" the first voice shot back.

"What is that noise?" Sonic asked, pulling himself to his feet.

"Looks like judges," Rose said, pointing at the entrance to a fortress. To the left of the entrance stood a black judge, to the right a white judge. The fortress, while initially unfamiliar, was obviously the same fortress that had vanished through a portal into the digital world before.

"You two going to stand there all day or what?" the black judge called.

"Two?" Sonic and Rose said at the same time, turning to look behind them. They found nobody there, not realizing what had happened at the gate. Turning back to each other, they shrugged, and walked into the fortress. They completely ignored a small warning plaque at the door. The cameraman, however, was not so careless, and wiped the grime off of the plaque and read it to himself.

Warning: Security system designed by Washu, tinkered with by Su, cursed by MM. Do not enter without immortal charm.

The cameraman stepped back, searched his pockets, and pulled out a small charm, placing it around his neck, before rushing to catch up to Sonic and Rose. He didn't have to go far, however, as Sonic and Rose had stopped just inside the entrance, facing what appeared to be a young man in a large red jacket sporting blond hair standing straight up and an odd, upside-down looking silver gun.

Rose couldn't restrain her self, as her eyes turned to hearts and popped out of her head, "WOW!"

Sonic turned to her a bit jealous and started to speak, "Wait a Minute! He isn't the fath...." before he took a slap across the face.

Clearing her throat, "I don't recognize him," Rose said, looking at Vash trying to hide the fact that she thought he was a hunk.

"Neither do I," Sonic replied. "Yet, I get the feeling that MM pulled him from somewhere we can get to."

"Who are you?" Rose ventured, soliciting a dopey grin from the man.

"Vash," the man responded. "Got anything to eat?"

Those listening closely could hear something fall, as Rose's expression dropped into an I don't believe it look.

"I have some doughnuts," Sonic ventured, holding out a small bag. Before anyone could blink Vash had the bag and was eating the contents.

"Thanks," Vash said between bites. "I was getting hungry."

"What are you doing here?" Rose asked, a slightly unpleasant tone in her voice.

"Oh, yea," Vash said, turning to Rose as he finished off the bag. "I can't let you go by without beating me in a fight. Contract and all."

"Well that shouldn't be too hard," Sonic said, looking at Vash. Still, even as he said it, he was doubting himself. There was something about this man that hinted he was much more dangerous then initial appearances, while saying he was perfectly harmless at the same time. Then, of course, there was the odd gun, that seemed to appear and vanish like it didn't really exist, depending on what the man wanted to do with his hands. "So, did you want a gunfight?"

"I hate guns," Vash said. "I would prefer a fist fight, but my contract says I have to use the gun."

"By the way," Rose said, staring as the man spun the gun around on his finger. "What do others from your world call you?"

"Normally they call me Vash the Stampede," Vash responded. "Unless, of course, they have gotten to know me. Then they call me Vash or Mr. Vash or something like that."

"Interesting," Rose said, taking another look at Vash. "Well then, we have to move on to rescue a couple of people."

"Then lets get to the fight," Vash responded, going back to the dead serious look he had started at. His gun was in his hand, ready to fire, and oddly enough he appeared to have rocks in his other hand. Rose's heart skipped a beat before memory of what Vash had just looked like kicked in, and she got ready to do battle by pulling out a gun.

"Where did we get these guns anyway?" Sonic asked, looking at the pink gun Rose was holding and the Yellow one he was holding. Aside from their color, they looked exactly like the gun Vash was holding.

In the control room

"Who the hell is that?" Nadesiko wondered, watching the screen. "And what is with those guns?"

Back at the stare-down

"One of us will eventually have to fire," Sonic said, his finger on the trigger.

"There is only one problem with that," Vash said, staring the other two down.

"What would that be?" Rose asked, looking at Vash, wondering what he would say.

"Well, you see," Vash said, going back to his dopey grin and more child-like voice as he chuckled, dropping his gun and popping it open to reveal a distinct lack of bullets. "None of us has bullets."

Sonic and Rose just stared, unmoving, before their jaws dropped and created small craters at their feet. Rose was the first to recover, and started yelling.

"HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIGHT WITH THESE THINGS IF THEY DON'T HAVE BULLETS?" Rose screamed, before Sonic gave her a look that calmed her down.

"Well," Vash said, looking at his gun. "Each of them has the ability to turn into a devastating weapon. I just hoped it wouldn't get to that."

"How devastating," Sonic asked, looking as his gun.

"I could lose control and take out an entire town while blowing a crater in the moon," Vash said, looking at his feet. "I am just glad nobody got hurt."

"So you can destroy a town, but leave the people in tact," Rose said, looking at her gun, not sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

"The thing is," Vash continued, looking at Sonic and Rose. "I don't know what kind of weapon your guns are. It isn't the same kind mine is, as you aren't like me."

"Aren't we normally more powerful then people like him?" Rose whispered to Sonic.

"Yep," Sonic responded, also in a whisper. "Which leaves the question of how powerful our guns are."

"How do we trigger it anyway?" Rose asked, speaking in a normal voice again.

"You just concentrate on the top portion of the gun and will it to activate," Vash said, putting his gun away. "Lets see what you got."

"Ok," Rose said. "I guess I will go first." With that she concentrated like Vash had said, and the top of her gun blew off, revealing a yellow cylinder that was charging up. Before she could react, the gun and her arm started changing, twisting into a new shape, with the cylinder in the middle. It didn't take long for the transformation to finish, leaving everyone shocked as Rose tried to control what looked like a giant Rose. She managed to point the Rose at the door before it fired, unleashing what looked like several thousand thorns made out of energy. When they hit a mountain far off in the distance the entire game world started to phase out, as if the blast was stronger then the power that was holding the world together. Then, as suddenly as her arm had changed, it went back to being her arm and a gun, which she promptly put the top back onto.

"And I thought mine was powerful," Vash said. "Mine didn't even make it past the energy barrier in the doorway."

"I wonder what mine does," Sonic said, looking down at his. No sooner had he done so, however, then the top popped off and a pink cylinder started glowing. Soon Sonic's arm and the gun were transforming, and Sonic quickly aimed at the doorway. Moments later his arm had turned into something that resembled a Borg cannon, and was almost ready to fire. However, the world was still recovering from Rose's blast, and nobody had noticed the hole in the world that had appeared in the air right above the doorway. Thus, when a body fell through that hole, Sonic just barely pulled the gun up enough to avoid hitting it. The result was that a massive blast went through the hole and obliterated everything on the other side of it.

The resulting smoke obliterated the view of the person who had fallen through the hole, but they could hear someone yelling something about a retrieval system and a reply that it was offline. While this was going on a small pink piglet ran out of the smoke, looked at Sonic, and pulled out a small sign, that Rose promptly read.

Watch where you fire that thing, would ya?

"Sorry," Sonic said as the piglet dropped the sign and ran off into the maze. At the same time, the person that had fallen in front of Sonic yelled something, and a bright light came from the smoke.

"Initializing Character Stats Creation Routine," came a computerized voice. "Target's game name: Momo."

A moment later the light vanished, and the smoke spun around where the body had fallen. Slowly a form became visible, before the smoke blasted off of it. Standing there was a teenage girl with tanned skin, short brown hair in a pageboy style cut, wearing a tight-fitting pink shirt with "Cutie" in sparkle letters across the front, light blue jeans, and pink tennis shoes. On her back were two large white wings, and sitting on her shoulder was a gun larger then she was, being held like it weighed nothing.

"I guess I am joining up with you two for a while," the girl said. "My name is apparently Momo."

"There is something familiar about you," Rose said, taking a good look at her. Looking carefully, you could tell Rose was blushing faintly. "I just can't place it."

"I almost missed the water balloon fight," Momo said. "Remember?"

"Yea," Sonic said. "Still something else, though. That, and you look different now."

"I was only having fun then," Momo said. "I am stuck here now, no thanks to you blowing up the main console."

"Yea, um..." If Sonic hadn't been blushing before, he sure was now. Amazingly, a car chose that moment to pass by, but stopped when it saw Sonic's red face, thinking it was a stoplight. "Sorry about that."

"So why are you around, anyway?" Rose asked.

"I am a good friend of Maxwell's," Momo answered.

"Maxwell?" Sonic and Rose said together. "The only Maxwell we know about that could even consider being involved with this is Agent 0, who is on vacation."

"One hell of a long one at that," Rose added after a moment of thought."

"Yea, well," Momo said. She was running situations through her head, trying to figure a way out of this. Then, it hit her. "I was looking for him, as he has been gone for a long time, and this seemed like a good place to check, with all the activity and all."

"Oh," Sonic said. "Ok."

It appeared that Sonic and Rose had bought the ruse, and Momo was relieved. That is, of course, until the game world had to stick itself into the picture.

"Nice save," the computer shot out. Sonic and Rose raised eyebrows while Momo blushed and tried to not make eye contact.

"Can we get on with this fight?" Vash said, the top of his gun popping off. "I have things to do, places to go, people to see, doughnuts to eat." With that his arm started to transform.

"And girls to stare at," Momo said, noting that while Vash was trying to look and sound serious, his eyes hadn't left her once since the smoke cleared. She then swung the gun down, and ITS top popped off, revealing a very LARGE blue cylinder powering up. A moment later the gun, as well as most of Momo's body, started to transform. By the time Vash's gun was ready to fire Momo's had turned into what appeared to be a giant battering ram, with a larger blue cylinder glowing back by where her body was.

"What is that?" Rose asked Sonic, flattening herself against the wall.

"No clue," Sonic said, digging a couple of graves. "Better be prepared though."

"What does THAT do?" Vash asked, his gun powering down from his shock.

"It squashes PERVERTS," Momo yelled, triggering the large blue cylinder to fly up into the air on a thick rod, swinging around a pivot point at the end of the 'gun' and extending. A split second later Vash was in a ten-foot deep crater, having been flattened by the blue cylinder. His gun fully discharged itself, returned to handgun form, and fell to the floor. Meanwhile, Momo returned to normal as well, and put the top back on her gun as Sonic and Rose just stared.

"Wow," was all Rose could say.

"What did you expect?" Momo asked. "I am a girl, and he was looking at me like he wanted me in bed."

"I won't argue," Sonic said, slipping a little behind Rose, figuring that would provide some protection.

"So," Rose said, finally snapping out of it. "What other differences are there between your gun and ours, aside from the size and weapon it transforms to?"

"Oh," Momo said, losing the angry expression and smiling, causing Sonic to relax. "That is simple. Mine has bullets."

"Can I see it?" Sonic asked, now feeling quite good about his chances of not being pounded.

"Sure," Momo said. "Catch." With that she threw the gun over to Sonic. A moment later Sonic was a flat smudge under the gun, which apparently weighed a good hundred tons. "Ooops," Momo said, quickly grabbing the gun. "Sorry about that."

"How do you hold that thing?" Sonic said, recovering from being flattened.

"I eat my spinach," Momo said, flexing a muscle. Her seemingly flimsy arm bulged, showing muscles that looked like they belonged on a small giant.

"Ok then," Rose said. "Shall we continue into this fortress?"

"Not without us you won't," a familiar voice called. "Some giant blast blew out the gate holding us back long enough to slip through."

"Tommy?" Sonic said, turning towards the door. Indeed, Tommy was standing there, as was Cologne. Sitting on Tommy's head was Happosai, and behind them was Kalshion.

"Where is everyone else?" Rose asked.

"They didn't make it through in time," Cologne said. "Happosai chased them too far away from the gate just before the blast."

"What about Jeremy?" Sonic asked.

"A little water from the Spring of Drowned Girl fixed him up nicely," Happosai chuckled. "But not as nice as this young one." With that Happosai jumped onto Momo's chest. The result was Momo's gun blowing its top again, but this time a red cylinder was in the top. Again the gun transformed, but this time it took Momo's entire body with it and trapped Happosai in the red cylinder. When the transformation was complete it looked like Happosai was stuck in cylinder on a transporter, just before the cylinder started to glow again.

"Warning," came a voice from the device Momo had transformed into. "Interdimensional hyper gravity shift in progress."

"INTERDIMENSIONAL HYPERGRAVITY SHIFT," Sonic and Rose yelled, grabbing Vash out of his crater and pushing the others out the door and onto the ground. A moment later the entire dimension shook as Happosai was compressed into a single point, much like a black hole, and forced through the dimensional barrier into another world. The energy released from this lit up the area like the sun was on the ground, then everything stopped for a couple minutes.

"Can we go now?" Momo called, looking down at those on the ground outside the door.

"Is there a doctor in the house?" came a distinctly male voice from inside the fortress. Everyone, including Momo, turned to look, and found a teenage male with shocking blue hair, a matching t-shirt, and slightly darker jeans, standing there in bare feet with a gun that looked a lot like Momo's. Most of his skin, clothes, hair, and gun appeared to be lightly singed as he fell to the ground, smoking.

"Guess I sucked someone in when I sent Happosai out," Momo said, rushing over to the newcomer. After feeding him a small berry he recovered fully and stood up.

"Thanks Momo," the boy said.

"How did you know my name?" Momo asked, her eyebrow rising.

"Never mind that," the boy responded. "My name is Mark, and I guess I will be joining you as well." Momo raised her eyebrow, a look of recognition appearing on her face.

"You might want to put on some shoes then," Kalshion said.

"Oh, right," Mark said, pulling out some bright blue sneakers and putting them on. With that the group, minus Vash of course, went into the fortress. Sonic and Rose were behind the others, talking in whispers.

"Something isn't right here," Sonic said.

"I know what you mean," Rose responded. "Momo seems like someone I met many years ago."

"I was more concerned with Mark," Sonic said. "There is something familiar about him, despite his complete unfamiliarity."

Meanwhile, Mark and Momo were leading the way, also talking in whispers.

"Why the hell did you bring me into this?" Mark said.

"I didn't mean to you know," Momo responded. "I didn't even mean to be here, but the floor of the control room vanished and I fell in front of Sonic's gun. Why did you give them such powerful weapons anyway?"

"Experimentation," Mark said, as if that explained it all.

"So what does your gun do?" Momo asked Mark, knowing that Mark knew what hers did, probably better then she did.

"Shoots bullets," Mark responded.

"What ELSE does it do?" Momo asked, slightly annoyed.

"Nothing else," Mark said. "I didn't have time to design a fancy gun for myself, I only had one second, compared to the four for yours."

"Then what kind of special weapon DO you have?" Momo asked, curious as to what Mark had brought.

"All I could grab was my chopsticks," Mark responded.

"Your chopsticks," Momo said in a 'what are you gonna do with those' tone of voice. Mark just shrugged.

"Haven't we passed through here already?" Kalshion asked.

"Given the apparent interdimensional nature of this maze," Momo started.

"Most likely yes," Mark finished.

"Please don't finish my sentences for me," Momo added.

"Sorry," Mark responded.

"Then we should go left," Kalshion said. The group, having no better plan, did so, only to find themselves falling down a well. A few minutes later they had pulled themselves out of the well, and into a grassy field. Nobody made a connection as to what had just happened and where they were, and thus, nobody was ready for a swarm of demonic bees to fly overhead. It didn't take long for Inuyasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Shippo, and a few cameramen to run by chasing them.

"CAMERAMEN?" Sonic and Rose said, shocked.

"What did you expect?" Cologne asked. "There are several following us as well."

"Ok, you have a point there," Sonic said, starting to walk with the group that had decided to head in the same direction the bees had gone. Well, until they realized Rose had frozen in place, her hand on her stomach, seemingly in shock.

"What is wrong?" Sonic asked, immediately at Rose's side. He moved so quickly even Cologne had to blink, wondering how he did it.

"I think I felt a kick," Rose said. "Although it felt more like a stab."

"Gimme that camera," Cologne said, grabbing the camera for the cameraman. She backed up to the point where Sonic seemed to jump to Rose's side. She went frame by frame, but still couldn't pinpoint how he did it, for in one frame he was in one place and the next he was in the other.

"You going to watch that all day?" Rose asked, a smile on her face again. She was already heading in the direction the bees had gone, and Sonic was standing there dumbfounded as to how she had gotten out of his grip without him noticing. A few minutes later they were all heading for the location the bees had gone to.

Two Months Later

"What are we doing in Antarctica?" Sonic asked, pulling a heavy cloak tighter around himself.

"The same might be said for a giant metal ring," Rose said, looking over the crest of the hill they had been climbing.

"Wonder what those blasted bees flew all the way out here for," Inuyasha said, shaking some snow off of his foot.

"I don't know," Kagome said. "But I am glad I brought some warm clothes."

"Why didn't you go back to your time anyway?" Shippo asked. "You normally only stick around here on weekends."

"School was cancelled until they could find the school," Kagome answered. "Something caused it to vanish. Left a burn pattern shaped like two Ms."

"I don't suppose anyone knows what to do with this pedestal?" Sango asked, staring at the odd pedestal. There were two rings of symbols on button-like plates, with a large red semi-sphere in the center. Closer examination revealed that the symbols were duplicated on the metal ring.

"Those look like constellations," Kagome said, pointing at a couple of the symbols on the pedestal.

"Where is a hint guide when you need one?" Tommy asked, looking at the pedestal.

"You asked, and thus you shall receive," came a loud voice from the sky. A moment later a light appeared above Tommy, before a very large carved rock fell on him. At the top of the rock were the words 'The Hints, carved in stone'.

"Nice job," Miroku said, examining the rock. "Too bad I can't make heads or tails of this."

"That is because it makes no sense," Kagome said, looking at the rock. Tommy was just starting to pull himself out from under the rock, however, and wasn't happy. "It says we need to select six symbols, one for each major fighter. We then have to order them from strongest to weakest. We are also supposed to ignore those that use names they normally would not."

"How do we decide the order then?" Myoga asked. Everyone jumped at this, thinking that Myoga had left back before they got on a boat.

"Me and Momo can judge your strengths," Mark said.

"And why should you be the ones to do so?" Sango asked.

"Because we are excluded, due to neither of us using a name we normally would," Momo responded.

"Sounds fair," Inuyasha said. "Should we pick symbols first?"

"Yes," Mark said. Everyone but Mark and Momo went over to the pedestal to pick symbols that they thought fit them.

"Hey Mark," Momo asked. "How are we going to tell who is the strongest?"

"You forget," Mark responded. "This is my brainchild. I already know the correct sequence of symbols, and as such, we just have to put them in the correct order."

"And if they don't choose the correct symbols?" Momo responded.

"You know, I forgot to consider that," Mark said, scratching his head. "We just hope that doesn't happen?"

"We are ready," Sonic said, coming back from the pedestal.

"Draw your symbols in the snow in front of you," Mark said. "That way you won't forget." A moment later the symbols were drawn.

"Well Mark," Momo said. "I think we can rule out Myoga."

"Yes we can," Mark said. Myoga didn't seem surprised. "Which automatically disqualifies everyone weaker then him. Thus, Tommy, you are also out."

"You can't be serious," Tommy said, staring at Myoga. "How is it that I am weaker then he is?"

"Simple," Myoga said, hopping onto Tommy's shoulder. "I possess knowledge that makes me more formidable then you think."

"Prove it," Tommy said, swatting at Myoga. Before anyone could blink Tommy was knocked unconscious, but nobody had seen how.

"And how did you do that," Inuyasha yelled.

"I released a sedative into his bloodstream," Myoga replied. "It went straight to his head and knocked him out. It is the same sedative I use to keep you from noticing where I bite you."

"Can we just get on with this," Kagome pleaded.

"What about Miroku's wind tunnel," Momo asked.

"Well," Mark answered. "I would say it is stronger then Shippo."

"Well duh," Shippo responded. "How am I supposed to compete with that?"

"What about Sango?" Momo continued.

"I think the wind tunnel would be enough to defeat her, if it were ever turned her way," Mark responded. "Kalshion and Killalia wouldn't have much luck against it either, I am afraid."

"Figures," Sango responded. "I assume this means we aren't strong enough to qualify for the top six?"

"You assume correctly," Mark responded. "Kagome alone could probably defeat the wind tunnel with a little work, but Inuyasha could easily do it on his own."

"Cologne, on the other hand," Momo interrupted, "Would easily dodge it, and could easily prevent the wind scar from forming."

"How the hell could she do that?" Inuyasha asked, looking at Cologne.

"If the wind scar is based on the principals of wind," Cologne said, staring Inuyasha down. "All I have to do is prevent a temperature difference by manipulating my body temperature accordingly."

"That leaves the normally equally powerful Sonic and Rose for the number one spot," Mark said. "However, Rose is currently weakened by child, putting some of her energy into nurturing and protecting the life within her, thus leaving Sonic as the most powerful."

"That leaves but one detail," Momo said. "Doesn't that thing require SEVEN symbols?"

"Lets see," Mark said, drawing in the snow. "We need six points to define the destination...then we need to plot a path.......yep, we need the home point symbol. Anyone got a clue which one refers to our current location?"

"The ice cube?" Kagome joked.

"Doubtful," Rose said. "Considering that there isn't one here."

"Kagome, you said these were constellations, right?" Sonic asked.

"Yes," Kagome said.

"Then wouldn't the home symbol be the one symbol that isn't a constellation?"

"I don't know them that well," Kagome said, giving Sonic a look.

"Well then," Sonic said, looking at the pedestal. "Lets narrow it down."

"Where is a star chart when you need it," Tommy said. A split second later he covered his mouth and looked up.

"You asked, and thus you shall receive," came the loud voice from the sky. A moment later another light appeared above Tommy, before an even larger metal domed building fell on top of him. A door on the side opened, showing a replica of the pedestal sitting in a planetarium. Two hours later they had found the home symbol, and were dialing the gate.

"Thanks for the help getting out from under there," Tommy said, his tone sounding annoyed, as he finished pulling himself out from under the planetarium.

"That is the last one," Kagome said, pushing the center of the pedestal. Suddenly the gate sprung to life and a massive burst of quantum energy sprang from it. Had anyone been standing in the way, they would have been obliterated. Luckily, nobody was there, and the energy got sucked back into the forming wormhole as the event horizon stabilized.

"Should have thrown Tommy into that," Rose mumbled.

"Shall we go?" Cologne asked.

"Sure," Rose said, heading straight for the wormhole.

"WAIT A MINUTE," Sonic yelled, grabbing Rose. "Is this safe for you?"

"What do you mean?" Rose asked, glaring at Sonic.

"Well, you are carrying a life within you," Sonic said, clearly worried.

"And I honestly don't give a damn about the life within me," Rose said, sounding like she had just been called ugly. "I didn't ask for it!" With that she threw Sonic off and stepped into the event horizon.

"I'm not going near that thing," Inuyasha stated. "Not if she is on the other side."

"I think we should stay here anyway," Kagome said. "We don't know if we could get back anyway."

"Good point," Miroku said as everyone but the Inuyasha crew walked into the event horizon. Before anyone else had a chance to go through, the event horizon sucked the pedestal, planetarium, hint stone, and the gate itself into oblivion before vanishing.

Meanwhile, the group has found themselves, you guessed it, back in the maze!

"Friggin' long maze," Tommy mumbled. This was immediately followed by a section of the maze collapsing on him, leaving a bruise that looked suspiciously like it said 'Watch your language'.

"I could use a drink right about now," Sonic said. "All this stress is, well, stressing me out."

"You aren't the one that has grown another two inches since we started this maze," Rose said, slapping Sonic across the back of the head.

"Did someone say they needed a drink?" came an all-too-familiar voice from around the bend. When the group turned it they found themselves stepping out of a holosuite at Quark's.

"I don't think they have any Latinum," Odo responded from the seat he had taken at the bar.

"Well then," Quark said. "Never mind."

"That doesn't mean I didn't save some from that poker game," Odo responded. "Each of you can have any drink you want on me."

"Thanks," Sonic said, coming from the second level of the bar to one of the stools in the blink of an eye. "Give me a tall glass of Blood Wine."

"Do you really think you can handle Blood Wine?" Quark asked.

"Yep," Sonic answered.

"If you don't pass out I will give you a free refill," Quark said, staring at Sonic as he handed over the glass.

"You, give out a free refill?" Odo said, surprised. "What has come over you?"

"I have never seen a human try and drink two glasses of Blood Wine," Quark responded. "I am curious."

"I will take a smaller glass of that Blood Wine," Cologne said, taking her own seat.

"Got anything stronger?" Tommy asked, eyeing the Blood Wine.

"I have been toying with a new mix," Quark said. "It is potentially dangerous though. Don't know if the stiff here will let me serve it."

"If the idiot wants to try your concoction," Odo answered, "let him."

"In that case," Quark responded. "Here you go." With that he placed a small shot glass in front of Tommy. Tommy looked at it, eyed Quark, and then downed it in one gulp.

"I think I will stick with the Blood Wine," Kalshion said. Soon he had his glass as well, but didn't drink from it yet.

"Give me the Formula 39," Mark said, standing next to the bar. "Make that two, one for me, one for Momo."

"Formula 39," Quark said, obviously shocked. "How did you know about that one?"

"I get around," Mark responded. Soon he and Momo had larger glasses, although Momo didn't look overly trusting of the liquid hers contained.

"That leaves you," Quark said, looking at Rose. "What would the mother to be like?"

Before Quark could fire another neuron he was being held against the wall by Rose. "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?"

"Sorry Miss," Quark said, close to stuttering. "I just assumed..."

"Well don't assume," Rose said, letting Quark go and taking a seat at the bar. "Give me that bottle of Romulan Ale you have under the fourth floor tile."

"She's good," Odo said, looking at Rose as Quark retrieved the bottle in question. "I didn't know about that particular hiding spot."

"And here is your refill," Quark said, giving Sonic another glass of Blood Wine as Rose downed the entire bottle of Romulan Ale.

"Well," Kalshion said. "If he can take it, so can I." With that he downed his glass. Cologne did as well, and Momo finally decided that since Mark wasn't dead from downing his glass minutes before it would be safe for her to down hers. Before he got up, Sonic downed the second glass of Blood Wine, then gathered the group to head out to find their next destination.

"Amazing," Quark said to Odo. "Not one of them so much as flinched."

"Yet," Odo said, looking at the monitor that was now following the group. "I am in a betting mood. I say at least three of them collapse in the next three minutes. Shall we wager my tab?"

"If you lose, you pay double your tab," Quark said. "Deal?"

"Deal," Odo said.

A minute later, the group enters the medical bay.

"Empty," Rose said, looking around. "I was hoping someone would scan me to see what is making me fat."

Thump

"What the?" Sonic and Rose said, spinning around. They found Tommy had fallen to the floor, out like a rock. It didn't take long for Kalshion and Cologne to follow.

"Guess Odo won the bet," Mark said, chuckling.

"Who the hell are you anyway?" Rose asked. "As if I didn't already know."

"Wait a second," Mark said.

Thump

"There we go," Mark said. "Now that Momo is unconscious, I believe I am the one you think I am."

"As if the reoccurring Ms didn't provide enough of a clue," Sonic said.

"What about the reoccurring pig?" Mark asked, jerking his thumb at a small piglet lying on a table nearby. "He had a little too much beer."

"Ok, can't explain that one," Rose said. Suddenly she hiccupped, her cheeks reddening a little. "That feels niiiicccceeee......"

The little Piglet held up a small sign, unnoticed by the remaining conscious people in the room. It read simply "She had Rumulan Ale, didn't she?" A moment later the pig went unconscious again, the sign falling into nothingness.

"I suppose I should mention that the bottle of Romulan Ale she drank was cursed," Mark said, looking at Sonic.

"What kind of curse?" Sonic asked, eyeing Mark.

"She will stay drunk until she has to fight a boss," Mark responded. "Could be three hours or three years, at the rate this Maze is going."

"I don't plan on filing any complaints," Sonic responded, grinning ear to ear.

"I haave noo complaaaintts eithor," said Rose hobbling over to Sonic, "Leetts aw paaattiiiee!"

"I don't think the infirmary is a good place for a party," replied Sonic, "Not enough room to dance, and who knows what people would end up eating in here."

Rose grinned and placed her finger on Sonic's nose, "Soo...Whyy don't you and me have fuunn together *hicup*"

Sonic blushed, "What are you talking about."

"You knowww what I meeannn," smiled Rose running her finger down Sonic face and onto his chest, "We've done iit before in a medical bay you naughty boy."

Sonic grabbed Rose's hand, "Stop this!" he said before looking at Mark.

"So Rose has a wild side," said Mark, "Here I thought she was so formal."

The piglet lifted up a sign, "Please, do continue."

"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!" yelled Sonic practically ready to explode from the embarrassment, "Rose, get a hold of your self."

"Alll wite, Al rit," she said sitting down, "U'wl reget it later."

"Now what do we do with all these unconscious people?" Mark asked, looking at the rest of the group on the floor.

"Ooooh, that's eaaaaaaasssy," Rose said, pulling something out of her pocket. "We dra all ova the faces." With that she drew things normally associated with Jigglypuff art on all of the unconscious faces.

"I am out of here," Mark said. "I will meet you inside the wormhole in three days time." With that he left Sonic to deal with Rose, and a few minutes later had taken an escape pod directly into the wormhole.

"Lets go," Sonic said, picking Rose up and bringing her to what he somehow knew was their quarters. An hour later everyone else had done pretty much the same thing, aside from the piglet, which somehow managed to get itself beamed into the wormhole.

The next day Sonic was back to his sober state. Rose was still as plastered as she was the day before, and would apparently remain so for a while. Tommy was actually able to blink, and the others were making coherent sentences.

"Do you think he will make it out alive?" Sonic asked nobody in particular as he looked at Tommy.

"Ow yea," Rose answered. "wasss onrly a liddle drwink."

Sonic grinned, knowing that under normal circumstances Rose would be all over Quark for making a drink like that. He then considered her other condition. Rose seemed to do this as well, as she seemed to sober up a bit as she looked down at the front of her body. "Is something wrong?" Sonic ventured.

"Something is tight," Rose said, not slurring her speech. "And I am a tad hot." With that she pulled off her robe and gloves.

Sonic, for his part, was thinking this was a side affect of the drunk curse, or perhaps Rose's apparent attempt at fighting it. Of course, it seemed that the alcohol just moved around when Rose went to walk and fell flat on her face. A moment later she was giddy as a schoolgirl.

"Something wrong?" Momo asked, leaning on the doorframe for support.

"Nothing I can't handle," Sonic responded. Momo shrugged and made her way back out of the room.

"I can't get this blouse off," Rose said, fumbling with the front of her remaining outfit.

"I'll help," Tommy said, suddenly perfectly sober and sitting upright in bed.

"No you won't," Sonic said, taking his right glove off, loading some unseen objects into it, and replacing it on his hand. "At least, not while I can KILL YOU FOR THINKING ABOUT IT." With that he punched Tommy back into the bed. He then proceeded to take his glove off and empty the contents of it onto Tommy's head. An Acme Anvil, a horse, the Titanic, and a boulder fell out of the glove, among other things, ensuring Tommy was out cold.

"You forgot the piano," Rose said, giggling on the floor. She was down to her bra and panties, both pink. "Oooh, I can feel it kicking."

Sonic seemed to ignore Rose's comments as he gathered up her clothing and led her back to their quarters. Just inside the door he stopped. "Oh yea, the piano." With that he pushed a button inside the door, and the cameraman was promptly flattened by a large piano. "Can't have people watching."

"That is what you think," came an all-too-familiar voice from inside the room. Sonic spun around to find Happosai holding a camera.

"Ever hear of an airlock?" Sonic said, grabbing Happosai. A split second later Sonic was flattened against the opposite wall of the room.

"In case you didn't notice," Happosai smirked, "I found a pendant that protects me from assault while filming."

"Well then," Sonic said, grinning as he pulled himself off the wall. "Lets see about that."

"You can't harm me while I have the pendant," Happosai said, grinning.

"Is that so," Sonic said, pulling out a bow and arrow. "Try this on for size." With that Sonic launched an arrow at Happosai, who just grinned and waited for the arrow to be bounced back. The only problem was that it didn't bounce back, but rather destroyed the lens of the camera.

"What did you do that for?" Happosai asked, just before Sonic flattened him, packed him in a box, and threw him out an airlock. Happosai didn't even know what hit him.

"No lens, no filming. No filming, no protection," Sonic chuckled, returning to the room he and Rose shared.

In the morning Tommy was actually able to walk, but just barely. Rose saw this as a reason to celebrate, however, and Sonic wasn't sure if he should be clobbering Tommy or Rose as Rose jumped on Tommy and Tommy smiled about it. While Sonic was trying to decide whom to pummel, Kalshion and Cologne were back to their normal selves. Momo, however, hadn't made an appearance, and thus nobody was sure what condition she was in.

Just as Sonic was about to clobber both Tommy and Rose, Tommy got up the strength to push Rose away. "You can't do that kind of thing when you are pregnant," was all Tommy said before falling down again. In his mind he was thinking something more along the lines of "Sonic would kill me no matter who initiated it."

"Awwwww," was all Rose said before deciding that it was a good time for a nap herself. Sonic decided he could use one as well, so he carried Rose back to their room. Everyone else just moped around all day, somewhat bored.

On the morning of the third day Tommy was back to his sober self. Momo was still nowhere to be found, however. Figuring she would show up at the last minute, the group, aside from Rose, decided to find a way into the wormhole. After exhausting their list of potentials, not trusting Mark's method, the group was ready to give up, until Momo showed up again.

"Hi guys," Momo called as she entered the room. "Sorry about vanishing like that."

"It's ok," Tommy said. "We have been trying to find a way into the wormhole."

"I hope you didn't try too hard," Momo said, a sympathetic look on her face. "I just got back with a ship that will take us right in."

Twenty minutes later the group was entering the wormhole. They were engulfed in a bright light as the ship seemed to vanish around them, until finally they fell, unconscious.

Sometime much later the group woke up, groggy but alive. They looked around, and found they were each in their own bed in what appeared to be a log cabin. Each of them was wondering how they got there.

Well, ok, Rose was trying to figure out how to get the sheet off of her while it still had her hands under it.

"About time you woke up," Mark said, picking his nails with a knife as he leaned against the door to the cabin. "I was thinking I was going to have to postpone the fight."

"Fight?" Momo asked. Someone else probably would have asked it, but Sonic was tending to Rose, Cologne had gone to the bathroom, Tommy was playing with his sword, and Kalshion was trying to beat Tommy into the ground for cutting a few hairs off of his head with said sword.

"I'll explain about the fight when we get to the stadium," Mark said.

"Then how the hell did we get here?" Rose asked in a shocking moment of clarity. So shocking, in fact, that the only one left standing after she asked the question was Rose herself. Just as everyone was pulling themselves back to their feet, Rose spoke again, this time with plenty of giggles. "Did the cute little piggy-wiggy bring us?" Everyone fell again when they saw Rose holding a little pink piglet.

"Right idea," Mark finally answered. "Wrong pig. It seems Ryoga had borrowed the Delta Flier, and pulled off punching a hole in the wormhole that dropped us here, just beyond the exit to the maze. He fell into a river soon after and hasn't been seen since."

"So if we are at the end of the maze, where is the boss?" Sonic asked. curious.

"Oh, about fifty miles due Nargunk," Mark responded.

"Nargunk?" Cologne said, shocked. "What direction is that?"

"Lets see," Mark said, pulling a chalkboard out of nowhere. He quickly drew up a globe with all kinds of lines and formulae surrounding it, then started to explain how you formulated the direction of Nargunk based on all of it. Before he got much of anywhere Rose had erased the board and drawn happy faces and flowers all over it, however, and he gave up his explanation. "Just follow the path outside the door."

Ten minutes later the group walked out the door, only to find themselves facing a large group of cartoon females. Most of them were teenage to adult age, and had stereotypically large "assets". The children were mainly off to one side of the teenagers and adults. All of them looked mildly angry.

Not that something as simple as that would stop Tommy from having his head morph into a wolf's head as he went into a long whistle.

"INSENSITIVE JERK," yelled the entire crowd of females, all of them pulling off a simultaneous slap of Tommy, sending his head spinning faster then an electron.

"So, ladies," Sonic asked, glad that Rose appeared to be having issues seeing more then a foot in front of her face. "What seems to be the problem?"

"To put it simply," one of the kids answered. "A little freak grabbed all of the female undergarments in existence around here and ran into that cabin with them."

"Happosai," Kalshion said, turning back towards the cabin.

"Wasn't me," came a familiar voice from a nearby tree. "The other little freak took my collection and tied me to this branch."

"Did you ladies want to deal with the little freak yourself?" Cologne asked. A rash of smiles and nods from the large group of females signified a yes, so the group stepped away from the door as all the females barged into the cabin. A few minutes later a large commotion could be heard coming from inside the cabin, just before a smaller, faster, and younger looking version of Happosai shot out through the roof.

"Pure essence of Happosai," Mark explained as the small being came back in for a landing, right into the tied up Happosai. After a moment the tied up Happosai was free and running around like usual. "Shall we continue our journey?" With that the group started down the path. Not much more interesting things happened to them, aside from the occasional anvil falling on a member of the group or steamrollers flattening everyone. Rose, of course, was the only one not affected by any of this. The anvils never hit her, and the steamrollers always seemed to miss her.

"When will we get there?" Sonic asked, anxious to take off his protective anti-anvil helmet.

"Oh, I don't know," Mark said as the group walked down the path. "Eventually. Would you like to just skip the rest of this sequence?"

"YES," came the resounding response from everyone else except Rose.

"Ok then," Mark said, pulling out a remote. "Lets fast forward to our arrival." With that he pressed a button on the remote, and the scene went to static for a moment before the group found themselves standing at the entrance to a coliseum.

"Now all we need is some Weed," Tommy said, not thinking. A moment later he was flattened under a piano.

"May I have your attention please," came a booming voice over a loudspeaker. "Would Sonic, Rose, and the Cat Boss please enter the ring."

"Ring?" Rose said, snapping out of her drunken state. "What is going on?"

"Time to do battle," Mark answered. "Apparently someone decided that it would be you two fighting on your own."

"Lets go then," Rose said, before stopping in her tracks. "Why does my stomach seem larger then I remember it?"

"It has been a few days," Momo said, dragging the rest of the group off. "By my estimate, two weeks including the time period we fast-forwarded through." Then Rose was alone with Sonic, who dragged her into the center of the coliseum.

"The Cat Boss has brought two captives," the announcer boomed. "Both of which will stand off to the side cowering in fear during the fight."

"US?" Ranma and Akane both yelled, angry despite any curses affecting them. "WE DON'T COWER IN FEAR!"

"Ok," the announcer corrected. "They will stand there looking pissed or whatever during the fight. On another note, lets add a curse to Princess Ranma." With that a small beam of energy hit Ranma. "Princess Ranma will no longer be afraid of cats for the duration of the fight."

"Can we just get to fighting?" Sonic yelled.

"Ok already," the announcer said. "Anything goes battle between good and evil, commence!"

"Cue the music," the cat boss yelled, a small tower rising behind him with ringing bells in it. A moment later music started, and it wasn't long before the Cat Boss started to sing, slowly transforming and growing larger as he went along.

I'm a rolling thunder, a pouring rain
I'm comin' on like a hurricane
My lightning's flashing across the sky
You're only young but you're gonna die

I won't take no prisoners, won't spare no lives
Nobody's putting up a fight
I got my bell, I'm gonna take you to hell
I'm gonna get you, Satan get you

Hell's Bells
Yeah, Hell's Bells
You got me ringing Hell's Bells
My temperature's high, Hell's Bells

I'll give you black sensations up and down your spine
If you're into evil you're a friend of mine
See my white light flashing as I split the night
'Cause if good's on the left, then I'm stickin' to the right

I won't take no prisoners, won't spare no lives
Nobody's puttin' up a fight
I got my bell, I'm gonna take you to hell
I'm gonna get you, Satan get you

Hell's Bells
Yeah, Hell's Bells
You got me ringing Hell's Bells
My temperature's high, Hell's Bells

yeow
Hell's Bells, Satan's comin' to you
Hell's Bells, he's ringing them now
Hell's Bells, the temperature's high
Hell's Bells, across the sky
Hell's Bells, they're takin' you down
Hell's Bells, they're draggin' you around
Hell's Bells, gonna split the night
Hell's Bells, there's no way to fight, yeah

Ow, ow, ow, ow

Hell's Bells

"That was a nice waste of five minutes," Rose commented, staring at the monstrosity before them. For all appearances, it looked like a gorilla in a cat suit with three heads. Despite their earlier comment, Ranma and Akane both appeared to be cowering just a little bit, and Sonic and Rose were searching their attack lists for suitable attacks.

Finally Sonic gave up, pulled out all of the weapons in his inventory, and cast a spell. A moment later he was holding the largest combination sword and gun anyone had ever seen, with a maniacal grin on his face. He unleashed its full power on the cat boss, creating a mushroom cloud that could have covered Alaska with ease. When the smoke cleared the Cat boss was sitting there, playing solitaire.

"Oh, is it my turn?" the Cat Boss asked. He decided to take out Rose first, as Sonic's weapon was obviously useless. He cast a powerful spell designed to knock Rose into oblivion, and watched with glee. Well, until the spell hit Rose, buzzed loudly, and vanished. "We appear to be at a standstill. Your Fat Stomach won't let me attack you."

"F-f-f-f-f-f," Rose started, her hair standing on end, her eyes turning red, and an aura forming around her. "FAT!" she finally yelled, launching out at the Cat Boss with an attack that cut off two of his heads at the same time.

"That stung, you know," the Cat Boss responded as two green masses sprung from his shoulders, forming two new heads. "But then again, it was a similar story when Sonic there blew my body to bits."

"Ok then," Sonic said, jumping for an attack. He appeared to be charging up for a chi-based attack, but then an odd look came over his face. This was enough for the Cat Boss to knock him out of the air, all but unconscious next to Ranma and Akane, who, oddly enough, were formulating a plan based on information gleamed from the Cat Boss's stats window.

"What was that all about," Rose yelled. Sonic was, however, too weak to respond. A moment later the Cat Boss was moving in for the kill, stepping near Ranma and Akane to be able to reach Sonic.

"Go," Akane said, pushing Ranma towards the Cat Boss. Ranma pulled out Akane's mallet, and prepared to attack.

"Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts Final Attack..." Ranma started.

"JUST HIT HIM WITH THE MALLET," Rose and Akane yelled at the same time, startling Ranma, who shrugged and hit the Cat Boss with the mallet a few hundred times in a split second. Before he was done hitting the Cat Boss a temporal rift opened, sucking the Cat Boss in and causing a shockwave to obliterate the world around them. A moment later the group was standing where the Cat Boss's fortress had been, back outside of the Digital World.

"About damn time," Tommy said. "That took way too long."