CmptrWz

Chapter 30
The Third Fortress
Lupin, Please stay home

"Yea, right," Lupin said, sticking his head in front of the title. "Like that's gonna happen." He then stuck his tongue out at the camera and left.

The group walked up to the fortress, for a second wondering why it looked like a giant mouth. They then decided it was no weirder then anything else they had dealt with recently, and shrugged it off. They then cautiously walked into the mouth-like entrance, finding it odd that there was no resistance.

Well, at least, they thought it was odd until the mouth closed, sloshed them around a bit, and spit them out onto one of the remaining moons.

"Yuck," Rose said, her wings peeling off her back, saliva going from them to her back in strand-like pieces. She then found she couldn't fly, and was having trouble pulling herself off of the ground.

"Where is the nearest place to clean up?" Hikeya asked, the saliva also making it hard to pull herself off the ground, her shoes almost coming off her feet as she tried to lift them.

"I don't know," Jaime called. "But I could use a hand here." It turned out she was stuck to Sonic's back, coated with enough Saliva to keep her from moving.

"Yo Narrator dude," Sonic yelled. "Can we get some help?"

"Sure thing," the narrator responded, at which point Sonic froze in place.

"WHEN DID YOU GET BACK!?" Sonic yelled back.

"At the start of the chapter," the narrator said.

"SHIT," Sonic frantically yelled, trying to find his saliva-covered key before the music started.

"Don't worry," the narrator said calmly. "There is no music planned for the moment."

"Oh," Sonic said, calming down slightly. "Then what do you have planned?"

"This," the narrator said as the ground the group was standing on vanished, leaving the group over a pit. Katarina was the only one who didn't fall, being a spirit and not being weighed down by saliva. Thus, she was the only one who didn't land in the large body of water, and the only one that didn't come out of the ordeal looking like a sister of Tokyo Girl.

She was also the only one that got to read the sign where the group had fallen, and seeing what they had been turned into, she was highly worried.

Back with Saraia and Nadesiko

"Isn't that a tad....." Nadesiko started, at a loss for words.

"I didn't choose that in any way, shape, or form," Saraia said.

"Then who did?" Nadesiko asked.

"The narrator did," Saraia said. "Wanted some revenge, apparently, so I gave him control over some more aspects of the story."

"But," Nadesiko said. "How could you let him turn them into...that...when they have to go through a STRIP CLUB?"

"It used to be an amusement park," Saraia said. "The pool used to turn them into toddlers. The narrator changed them both."

"Remind me to never piss off a narrator in one of your games," Nadesiko said, staring at the mirror in disbelief.

In the narrator's booth

The narrator is seen on the floor, rolling around laughing. He has just locked the console, and is being carried off by several men in white jackets.

The last command before the screen was locked is blinking, showing it is a continual command:

Set temperature of all water within fifty feet of any member of the group to 2 degrees Celsius

Back with Saraia and Nadesiko (again)

"We have a slight issue," Saraia said.

"What is that?" Nadesiko asked.

"We ran out of narrators for the moment," Saraia answered.

"Let me," Nadesiko said.

"If you want, I guess you can," Saraia said, opening a portal to the Narrator's booth. "You won't be able to do much other then talk into the microphone until you unlock the console, though."

"I don't suppose there is a voice-morpher installed," Nadesiko said as she stepped through the portal.

"Just turn on switch 9," Saraia said as the portal closed.

"Now how do I undo some of this mess," Nadesiko said, turning on Switch 9 and starting to examine the locked console. "Figures, it uses 18,446,744,073,709,551,616 bit security. This might take a while." With that she started fighting the console to try and get it to let her in so she could at least undo that last command, making comments on the RPG as she went.

Back at the edge of the pool

"Yo narrator," one of the girls yelled. It was hard to tell which girl was who, as they were now all about the same age, around the same height, human, dressed in similar manners. "Any chance of us finding some hot water soon?"

"Sorry," came Nadesiko's altered voice. "The previous narrator pretty much made sure you wouldn't find hot water anytime soon. I will let you know when I have solved that problem."

"Shit," another girl said.

After a few minutes of talking they had figured out who was who, as well as what they most likely had to go through. What worried them the most was not their apparent form, nor was it the area they had to go through, but rather the fact that none of them had weapons anymore. Katarina was the only one left who could do any fighting at all, and then she was limited to mostly magic.

"Lets go," Hikeya said, taking the lead. The group had decided that there weren't any major mental changes to worry about, so all they had to do was avoid battles and keep an eye on their unconscious actions. Luckily, as they went through the club Katarina was able to scare off most of the males with glares. Every so often one of the males would have to be clobbered. After a while word had spread about the girls, and they weren't bothered at all.

"How big is this club anyway?" Tommy asked.

"I dunno," Kalshion said. "Yo Narrator, any info?"

Nadesiko, covered in sweat and dust, pulled the microphone down. "The strip club is big enough to fit a few hundred football fields in," she said. "Although I think I might have figured out how to get you back to your old selves."

"What are you waiting for?" the entire group yelled at once.

"I hope this works," Nadesiko mumbled, touching two wires under the console. The game world visibly skipped a beat, followed by the group glowing for a second. When all was said and done nothing seemed to have changed.

"Guess it didn't work," Katarina said.

"Sorry," Nadesiko said. "I guess I still need more time."

"It's ok," Cologne said, surprising the group. She had been reluctant to say much of anything since they figured out who was who, yet she seemed to be half-enjoying herself. "Lets get moving."

The group continued on, slowly starting to walk more sexily, pushing and pulling on their clothing to reveal as much skin as possible. Unlike before, they didn't notice anything wrong. Katarina even pulled off revealing more skin in her ghostly form. Rose finally realized what was going on when she consciously turned to wink at a guy watching them go by.

"What are we doing?" she said, getting her clothes into the most conservative positions she could. The others snapped out of it and did the same.

"That blast must have affected our minds," Sonic said.

"Even I was affected," Katarina said, blushing, the red sticking out like a sore thumb on her cheeks.

"Can someone fix that console," Hikeya yelled. "PRONTO?"

"Still working on it," Nadesiko said into the microphone. Then, to herself, "I think I will need some help with this one." Pulling herself off the floor, she went over to the door. Opening it she found a break room. The only ones sitting in the room were Lupin, Goemon, Jigen, and Fujiko.

"Don't look at me," Jigen said without prompting. "I don't fix computers."

"Count me out as well," Goemon s aid.

"Let me at it," Lupin said, walking towards the control room. Fujiko followed, and soon Lupin was fixing the wiring Nadesiko had screwed with. After a few minutes he had everything hooked up properly again and was back at the console working on cracking the security software itself.

Back with the group

The group had started moving again, and was hoping that they could catch themselves the next time they started to lapse. A few minutes later they had lapsed again, and hadn't noticed. This time they barely wasted any time getting back to the point they had been at, and were flirting with the guys they walked by more and more openly. An hour they came to a stage, and were immediately asked to perform. By now their morals had been shot and they decided to do the show, asking for plenty of money to do it though.

Two hours later

The group, five thousand dollars apiece richer, continued along the strip club. They hadn't done anything but the show, and at this point didn't even know why they were going through the club, but figured that they had a good reason to. This was the only thing that kept them from running off and servicing every guy they passed. They were not, however, expecting to be stopped by a girl in the club.

Especially not Tokyo Girl.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Tokyo Girl yelled as she came up to the group. Within minutes they had been dragged off to a private room. Once in there she slapped each and every one of them, somehow even hitting Katarina.

"What was that for?" Emily asked.

"Yea, that hurt," Jaime said.

"You guys are supposed to be working on getting rid of these curses!" Tokyo Girl yelled at them. This seemed to snap them out of the semi-trance they had been in, and they all blushed and went on the verge of passing out when they realized what they had been doing.

"Sorry," they all mumbled.

"SORRY?" Tokyo Girl yelled. "Just get back out there and end this blasted curse so that I can go back to teaching Kindergarten!"

"KINDERGARTEN?" several members of the group said, shocked out of embarrassment.

"Yea, kindergarten," Tokyo Girl said. "Before one of those blasted Tanks hit me I was a kindergarten teacher, now I am a prostitute, and I would like to have my mind de-scrambled for good sometime soon."

The group looked at one another, and quickly left the room, mumbling apologies as they each tried to come up with a way to stop themselves from lapsing again. Little did they know that their problem would soon be solved for them.

Back in the control room

"Who made this stupid thing anyway," Lupin said, slamming it with his fist.

"MM industries, of course," Nadesiko said, pointing at the logo.

"Allow me," Fujiko said, pushing Lupin out of the way. Lifting her hand like she was going to punch the console she then changed direction and broke the glass on a small box on the wall. Pushing the button inside resulted in the console unlocking and presenting a prompt.

"Emergency Console Override," Lupin read from the sign over the box.

Nadesiko didn't say much of anything for the moment, as she was on the floor.

"Had to do it the easy way," Lupin said, looking at Fujiko's chest and not her face. Moments later he had been slapped, punted out of the control room, and had a chair thrown into his face.

Back with the group

"YO NARRATOR!" Sonic yelled. Rose checked the clock, they had been yelling for the narrator for ten minutes now.

"Sorry," Nadesiko's altered voice finally came. "Just finished getting this console fixed."

"Good," Rose said. "Can we get some hot water now?"

"I think so," Nadesiko responded. "Let me try." Keyboard typing could be heard in the background as Nadesiko entered a command. After a blinding flash of light the group was back to their previous state of flirting with the guys around them. Another blinding flash of light had them back to their rightful minds, but still in their altered bodies. Finally Nadesiko got it right and a large amount of boiling hot water covered the group, returning them to their normal bodies, but also dropping their HP by half in the process.

"IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE QUITE THAT HOT!" Sonic screamed.

"Sorry about that," Nadesiko said. "I am still learning how to use this thing."

Rose was about to comment on that when the world around them bent, twisted, and otherwise seemed to fall apart. A tunnel formed in front of them, and before they knew what was happening they were pulled through. They landed in the middle of a large room, wondering what had just happened.

"No no," came a female voice. "This will never do."

"Huh?" Tommy said, looking around, before another tunnel formed and the group was sucked through it, finding themselves falling into the pool they had fallen into earlier, and coming out like they had earlier.

"Would someone STOP DOING THIS TO US?" Cologne screamed, punching a hole in the wall.

"What OS is that console running anyway?" Katarina yelled as she inched away from her feminized brother.

"I think it is Linux," Nadesiko said as Lupin and gang fell out of another tunnel and into the pool. "But I'm not sure."

"Would someone get that clumsy narrator a windows interface?" the girl that had been Fujiko yelled.

"Let me try again," Nadesiko said. Suddenly another tunnel opened, a blinding flash came out, and before the group could look at who came out they had been dunked.

"Why did I let her narrate," the newcomer said, pulling back the almost non-existent sleeves of their new outfit. A second later another tunnel had opened, and the newcomer was sucked through it. A blast of steamy hot water hit them as the tunnel closed.

"Was that the old coot?" Sonic wondered.

In the control room

A tunnel opened in the wall and Saraia came out of it. "Move over sister, I am taking over."

Nadesiko jumped in surprise, surprising herself further when she hit the ceiling. "Ouch," she said, rubbing her head as she landed on her bottom. "Since when do I hit ceilings?"

"Since I shifted this entire node into the trimetric plane," Saraia said, fingers flying over the keyboard.

Nadesiko froze at this. "Since when is that POSSIBLE?"

"I dunno," Saraia said. "Two billion years ago or so, I think."

"Remind me to re-evaluate your power levels as part of my report," Nadesiko said, getting up to watch Saraia use the console.

"Remove Lupin and gang," Saraia said as a thump and four very female screams could be heard in the next room. "Ooops, forgot their clothes......" Saraia continued as she typed away madly. "Some hot water will fix that." Soon a splash and several sighs of relief followed by several slaps were heard in the next room.

"WHAT ABOUT US?" Sonic could be heard yelling from the RPG.

"I am getting there," Saraia said, the voice-morph switch still active. Just as she was about to apply the commands that were to change them back the system crashed, however.

"Ooops," Saraia said. "Sorry, the system crashed. Guess you have to find a restroom." Mumbling is heard from the RPG at this.

"Did you really have to use the 'system crash' pedal on the floor?" Nadesiko asked.

"Yes," Saraia answered.

Back in the Strip Club

"So where IS the nearest source of hot water?" Rose asked Sonic, who was looking at the map.

"The front entrance," Sonic said.

"Oh, ok," Tommy said. "So which door is it?"

"This isn't the front entrance," Sonic said. "This is the BACK entrance."

"WHAT!" Cologne yelled, obviously pissed off. Sparks started coming from her transformed body, before a bright burst of electricity sprang from her and hit each transformed member of the group. "I won't take this weak form any longer!"

When the flash cleared everyone was back in their pre-dunk forms.

"Thanks," Sonic said, stretching his limbs.

"Everything is so big again," Jaime complained.

"At least you don't have to worry about guys coming after you," Rose said.

"Lets go," Tommy said, pulling out a gun.

Back with our two love birds in their love nest.....

The sun was just now starting to sit on the hills as it was now 5pm. We find Akane dressed in a nice white Sunday dress and Ranma-chan wearing his usual blue shirt and purple pants playing a game of Chess.

"Check," said Akane smiling at Ranma.

"No Way!" cried Ranma-chan examining the board, "I thought I had it all planned out."

"I guess you aren't very good at games," said Akane looking at the group of games they had played, which included "Monopoly", "Sorry!", "Clue!", and even "Poker". Akane then looked back at Ranma who was struggling to figure out how to get out of check, "Maybe that's an understatement," she continued.

"Got it!" said Ranma-chan moving one of his pawns up one space blocking Akane's Bishop from his king. "Come to think of it," continued Ranma, "How can you see all these board games anyways?"

"No Clue Ranma," said Akane with a clueless face, "I would ask the Narrator, but I don't think we have one currently."

While Nadesiko was reading the manual to the console...

"Good Point," said Saraia, "How CAN she see those game boards?"

"So, If I do this, than this, it should do..." commented Nadesiko reading the manual just before a Self-Destruct Timer for the Console came on, "Oh NO, what did I do wrong NOW!"

"Quick, get out of the way," said Saraia entering the cancel Self Destruct Code. Moments later the count down turned a green smile face with a "Have a Good Day" on the bottom.

"Thanks Saraia," said Nadesiko, "I just can't seem to get the hang of this."

Saraia eyed her for a moment before she decided to open the logs that contained changes done to Akane and Ranma's room, to find that Nadesiko had accidentally added a few items that Akane could see, including a Kitchen Set and Food.

Three hours later at the entrance to the strip club

The cameraman stood near the door, waiting for the group to arrive, when suddenly Tommy ran past him.

"LET ME OUT OF HERE!" Tommy yelled, an ugly fat woman chasing after him with lust on her face.

"WAIT FOR ME!" Sonic yelled, an angry Rose chasing after him with mallet drawn, closely followed by several females with lust on their faces.

"Glad I'm dead," Katarina said, floating along behind Kalshion and Cologne.

"Glad I'm part of a 'species' that doesn't do love," Kalshion said.

"Wish I could get attention like that," Cologne said.

Hikeya, Emily, and Jaime soon followed, leaving a trail of men stuck to walls with arrows. "This is so much easier," Emily commented.

"Good thing Fairies only come as females," Jaime said. "Although a few guys back there did look at me funny."

"I am just glad Emily has kept the pedophiles away!" Hikeya said, staying close to Emily.

Luckily for those being chased, the people from the strip club stopped shortly after the entrance and went back in, acting like they had gone into a trance.

"SWEETO!" came Happosai's voice, out of the blue.

"When did he show up?" Sonic wondered as the girls drew straws as to who got to knock Happosai out this time. Hikeya won the chance for anger release and was handed a bat by Emily. Stepping up to a plate that was mysteriously there, she got into a batter's stance, looked at where Happosai was coming in from, and let him have it with a swing of the bat. A single pair of panties tied to the end of the bat ensured that she would make contact, and s he did, sending Happosai back to where he had come from.

"Now, where to next?" Sonic said, looking at the smiling Hikeya.

"Up there," Hikeya said, pointing at the top of a nearby tower.

"How do we get up there?" Katarina asked.

"We fly," Hikeya said matter-of-factly.

"That is fine for Rose, Jaime, and Katarina," Cologne said. "But the rest of us don't have that ability."

"We will," Hikeya said. "If we dunk ourselves in that spring over there."

"No way," Tommy said. "I am NOT dunking myself in ANY spring."

"I have to agree," Sonic said, most of the group nodding.

"Suit yourselves," Hikeya said, jumping into the spring. Out of the spring came a young dragon, which started to fly towards the top of the tower. The rest of the group, seeing this, immediately jumped in the spring. Even Rose and Jaime took a dip. A few minutes later the group had landed at the top of the tower, Katarina feeling uneasy around a bunch of living dragons. That is when the hot spring exploded from the center of the tower, returning everyone to normal. Somehow they knew that it was one of the 'instant' curses, and that they would not change back to dragons with cold water.

"So why did we get to take a shortcut?" Hikeya wondered.

"Because I think I fixed the computer," came Nadesiko's altered voice. "I did have some help, though."

"Thanks," Rose yelled.

"Too bad I can't help you with the boss," Nadesiko added.

"Bingo," came a voice that sounded like a gunshot. The group soon realized that it HAD been a gunshot, coming from a gun-like mouth of the boss.

"Lets do this!" Tommy yelled, pulling out his biggest gun.

Two days later

"WOULD YOU DIE ALREADY!" Tommy yelled, down to his 49, which had proven to be useless. Just as everything else the group had proved to be useless. The boss, for his part, had run out of ammo after two hours, leaving the group at an essential stalemate. To be honest, they had played four poker games, with the boss included, while each person tried to come up with a good plan.

"Shall we play another game of poker?" Kalshion asked.

"Better then going back to that strip club," Hikeya commented.

"That is an idea," Rose said. "Lets play Strip Poker!" Everyone turned to Rose and gave her a weird look.

"Why would you want to do that?" Sonic asked.

"Because it will be more interesting," Rose responded in an 'I have a plan' tone of voice.

"Good enough for me," Sonic said, winking at Cologne, who picked up on the sign and quickly agreed.

"Alright," the boss said, finding himself outnumbered. "Lets play."

Back in the control room

"About time someone decided to put the boss's Ranma-like poker skills to good use," Nadesiko commented, looking at the screen. She was essentially locked out of interaction with the group while they were in the boss battle, so she hadn't been able to offer tips.

Back with the group, half an hour later, staring at what was the boss

"Who would have thought that he was made of the armor he appeared to be wearing," Sonic commented as the group prepared to move on.

"Should we go look for the key," Rose said. "Or just go find Lupin instead?"

"I suppose we should go look," Cologne said. "Maybe he decided not to bother this time."

"Yea, right," came a voice from a balloon floating away. "I took it yesterday, but I forgot my lock pick, so I just came back to get it."

"ZENIGATA, WHERE ARE YOU WHEN HE IS DOING THIS?" Sonic screamed.

"Right here," Zenigata yelled from another balloon.

"Figures," Sonic said.

"Allow me," Emily said, firing an arrow into Lupin's balloon. The balloon flew around for a few minutes, the arrow eventually falling out of Lupin's balloon and popping Zenigata's. Finally the two balloons crash-landed next to the group, and Lupin made a run for it. Zenigata was soon following, and the group wasted no time in chasing both of them.

Chapter 31
Akane, Ranma, and the Kitchen
Akane can cook! Film at 11!

"Boy I'm starving," said Ranma-chan after loosing to Akane at chess for the 23rd time, "Should I go get us something to eat?"

"That's alright Ranma, I'll cook for you," said Akane smiling.

"WHAT!?!" said Ranma jumping out of his chair in fear, "How? You cannot see anything, remember?"

"Well, I can see that kitchen over there, and amazingly the floor right under it too." she replied pointing to a kitchen to the corner that wasn't there before.

"That's ok Akane, I'll cook us something," said Ranma getting up.

"RANMA!" said Akane in a sturdy voice.

Ranma turned around with an innocent look before he sighed and helped her over to the kitchen.

"Now then," said Akane looking around, "Could you please help me with my apron?"

Ranma fell on the floor with this before he got up, grabbed an apron and put it on Akane.

"Thank you Ranma," said Akane with a smile as she began to set things up, "I think I have mother's recipe for Oden Stew, but do I have the ingredients?"

After a few minutes of inventorying the fridge and cabinets, Akane started putting together the ingredients as Ranma watched, amazed that she hadn’t done something stupid yet like putting raw eggs in the microwave or adding Vegetable Oil to the stove.

After a while Akane had finished her Oden Stew and had Ranma help her set up the table for dinner before they sat down, Ranma still looking at the stew like it was the death of humanity as Akane poured some stew into a bowl for Ranma.

"So, Dig in!" said Akane smiling at Ranma.

Ranma looked at the serving for a while with pale blue on his cheeks before he took a spoon a dipped it into the bowl, "Here goes nothing," he said taking a bite.

Within moments of the stew touching Ranma's tongue, a powerful, shockful, blast of pure.....

We interrupt this program for a very important announcement...

"Hello there," said Kasumi in an apron, "Today I will share with you how to make my mother's Oden Stew.

About nine tenths of the people who had mouths in the Matrix had dropped their mouths which smashed on the ground creating several matrixial quakes that again appeared on the Inter-Nexial Authority's Rictor Scale

Kasumi than began to cook up some Oden Stew as the rest of the Matrix began to crunch their armrests wanting to see what happened to Ranma. Fortunately for them, Kasumi had lost her touch in the cooking department and accidentally placed some Vegetable Oil on the stove which resulting in a fire. Kasumi in pure panic ran out of the room just as some Firemen cam in to clean up the mess as the screen went black.

We now return to our regular scheduled program...

"Good Night Akane," said Ranma-chan giving Akane a kiss on the cheek.

"Sweet dreams Ranma," said Akane smiling with joy.

Chapter 32
Put on your running shoes folks, because here comes
THE CHASE

"Here we are folks, on the surface of this moon," came a new voice.

"That's right Joe," came another. "Today we have Lupin vs. the Hero's gang in an all-out chase."

"And Mark, we can't forget Zenigata," Joe said.

"Of course not," Mark agreed.

"Here they come now around the bend," Joe said. "Lupin has a good lead on everyone, with Zenigata trailing him a hundred yards or so and the Hero's gang practically on Zenigata's heels."

"But watch out," Mark said. "I see some fast-approaching dust in the distance!"

"Now who could that be?" Joe said.

"I don't know, but here they come!" Mar k said as the dust approached the group.

"Beep Beep," came the roadrunner, the Coyote close behind, just before going off at incredible speeds, setting the road on fire. The Coyote just kind of stopped, everyone including Lupin looking oddly at where the roadrunner had been.

"Don't ask me," Lupin yelled back at the group.

"There they go folks, into the next area," Joe said. "Lets go to the Liger cam for a close-up!"

"Liger cam?" Sonic said, looking around. Suddenly Liger Jager appeared out of nowhere, boosters at full tilt, with a camera attached to the side pointing at the group. "Oh, never mind."

"Hi Bit!" Rose yelled.

"Hi Rose," Bit responded over a screen. "Don't know how I got here, but this is great!"

"Would Bit Cloud please report for the Liger Jager Vs. Lightning Saix Race in quadrant 7," came a voice that could only belong to a white judge.

"Gotta go," Bit yelled, taking off for some other area.

"Here they come to the bike trail," Mark said, now in a helicopter above the gang.

"As a special today," Joe said, "we have a group of Pokemon trainers joining us on our own Bicycle Hill."

"There goes Lupin on a street bike," Mark said. "Closely followed by Zenigata, Tommy, and Kalshion on their own street bikes."

"Rose joins Sonic today on a specially crafted bike designed to allow both of them to ride together," Joe said. "Emily and Jaime get a similar bike, while Katarina gets a spirit-bike. Hikeya gets training wheels, and Cologne.....Say, what does Cologne get?"

"I don't know," Mark responded. "Looks like a Unicycle to me, but with that stick of hers for a seat."

"Whatever it is," Joe said. "It is no slouch when it comes to speed, keeping up with the others easily."

"Who is that speeding down the hill like a madman?" Mark asked.

"It isn't a madman," Joe said. "It is a mad Amazon. Shampoo has shown up with her bike and is screaming down that hill!"

"They are approaching the first group of trainers," Mark said, the camera jumping.

"That they are Mark," Joe said. "Looks like Ash, Misty, and Brock are trailing the others."

"And there goes Lupin," Mark said. "Knocking Brock off the hill as he screams past."

"Ash is desperately trying to re-gain control after avoiding Brock," Joe said. "I don't think he will make this first jump!"

"I think you are right Joe," Mark said. "Knowing Ash, he will probably break Misty's bike in the process."

"There he goes, crashing into Misty as they hit the ramp," Joe said. "The bikes have fallen into the gap, with Ash and Misty thrown off the hill in a heap."

"Better get out your earplugs Joe," Mark said, pulling out some of his own. "Misty is bound to start yelling any time now."

"YOU IDIOT!" Misty yelled. "WHY CAN'T YOU LEAVE ONE OF MY BIKES IN WORKING ORDER?" Then she noticed Sonic and Rose coming down the hill. "Oh, hi Rose!"

"Hi Misty," Rose said. "Gotta run."

"Bye Rose!" Misty called, then turned back to where Ash had been on the ground, finding him gone.

"Looks like Ash finally smartened up," Joe said.

"Yep," Mark added. "Vanishing like that was probably one of the smarter moves he has made recently."

"The Hero's group and Zenigata are catching up to Lupin," Joe said. "But first they have to get through the Sunny Town Bike Gang."

"Today, for this special occasion," Mark said, "we have some extras riding with the Sunny Town Bike Gang. First up is Jessie, leading the group. Further back in the gang we have her teammates, James and Meowth."

"There they go," Joe said. "Tommy clearing the bike gang out by shooting their tires with his 49."

"Of course," Mark said, "Jessie, James, and Meowth crashed into a ramp and are currently heading into the sky."

"Lupin has just reached the base of the hill and discarded his bike," Joe said. "We are back to a foot chase!"

"Those chasing him aren't that far behind," Mark said. "Amazing how well Zenigata runs, for his age."

"What is this?" Joe said. "Lupin has just hailed a Taxi!"

"Zenigata is commandeering a bus to chase him with," Mark reported, "the Hero's gang joining him."

"There they go through town," Joe said. "But what is with that taxi driver?"

"I know what you mean Joe," Mark said. "Must be new to the job. No experienced Taxi driver would take corners that wide, and he is only going double the speed limit."

"Must be his first day," Joe said. "Which is a good thing for the bus, it is just barely keeping up."

"Where are they going, anyway?" Mark asked.

"Looks like they are headed for the airport," Joe responded. "Better get out the emergency parachutes, we might need them if this goes to the air!"

"You sure that taxi driver is new to the job?" Mark asked.

"What do you mean Mark?" Joe responded.

"He just dove into the subway," Mark answered.

"Holy smokes, you are right," Joe responded. "The bus isn't going to chance it, though, and is heading above ground towards the airport."

We interrupt this chase scene for this important announcement

"The Taxi Driver's association of the RPG would like to apologize for the excessively polite driving of the driver in this chase scene," a man said. "It is indeed his first day, and he hasn't gotten his nerves of titanium yet. Thank you."

We now return you to your regularly scheduled chase

"Here comes the taxi," Mark said. "Coming out of that subway entrance."

"The bus is right on its heals," Joe said, "having just turned that corner."

"Lupin is still in the lead as they hit the airport," Mark said. "Out of that taxi like a rocket, getting that biplane into the air in record time."

"The rest of the chase group isn't far behind," Joe said. "Those that can fly took off right away, the rest getting into one and two seated biplanes."

"Lupin is slowly losing ground," Mark said. "I don't know if he will be able to escape."

"What is that in the distance?" Joe said, leaning out of the helicopter.

"Looks like," Mark said. "Yes, it is. The Jetson family!"

"There they go," Joe said. "The biplanes couldn't take their passing though."

"Looks like they are going to crash near that racetrack," Mark said.

"This should be interesting," Joe said as the crashing began. "Isn't that scheduled for a Mario Cart Race later today?"

"That it is Joe," Mark said. "There goes Lupin in a go-cart."

"The others have grabbed go-carts of their own and are in hot pursuit," Joe said.

"Look at Hikeya go!" Mark yelled. "She is tearing up that track!"

"Where did she learn to drive a go-cart like that?" Joe asked.

"Must be the kid in her," Mark answered. "Just look at that grin on her face."

"What on the moon did Tommy just pelt Lupin with?" Joe asked as Lupin recovered from the effects of being pelted.

"According to this handy dandy instant datasheet," Mark said, "that was a weed bomb."

"What is he, insane?" Joe said. "There is a child out there!"

"Not to worry Joe," Mark said. "Emily just pelted Tommy with a Mallet Bomb."

"Woa," Joe said. "Lupin just fired a red shell back towards the group."

"There goes another weed bomb from Tommy," Mark said. "Taking out the shell while Hikeya almost breathes some of it in."

"Uh oh," Joe said. "Emily's cart is glowing red."

"Head for the hills," Mark said, diving behind some sandbags.

"There she goes," Joe said. "The entire go-cart just morphed into a giant hammer on wheels!"

"I feel sorry for Tommy," Mark said. "Flattened into a pancake by a hammer."

"He recovered fast though," Joe said. "And is catching up to the others now."

"Hikeya just passed Lupin," Mark added. "But Lupin has just grabbed a red shell."

"This looks bad for Hikeya," Joe said. "And she is doing so well."

"There goes the shell," Mark said. "Knocking Hikeya right off her go-cart."

"That HAD to hurt," Joe said. "But Sonic picked Hikeya up as they approach the finish line."

"Lupin is out of the go-cart like a bolt of lightning," Mark said. "Straight into a racecar!"

"The rest of them won't stand for that," Joe said. "They are grabbing cars of their own."

"They better watch out," Mark said. "Looks like an oldie is going down the road in the right lane."

"Oldie is right," Joe said. "That is Fred Flinstone."

"Poor Fred," Mark said. "Amazing how he didn't flinch though."

"No," Joe said. "Must be hanging around with George."

"Since when did we enter the granddaddy of all cameo shots?" Tommy asked as he leaned out the passenger window of one of the cars with his 49.

"I dunno," Kalshion answered, trying to keep the car on the road. "But something is coming up behind us."

"Could that be," Sonic said, glancing at the rearview.

"I think so," Rose answered. "Speed Racer in the Mach 5."

"Is there anyone the old coot DIDN'T pull into this nuthouse?" Hikeya asked from the backseat.

"Well, so far, I haven't seen any Q around," said Rose.

"Better knock on some wood quick Rose before one shows up," commented Sonic.

"Someone call," came a distinctive voice from the backseat.

"I think it is too late," Hikeya said.

"So who are we chasing?" Q asked.

"Lupin the Third," Rose answered.

"And there goes Speed Racer," Q commented as the Mach 5 passed the group. "Who else is around?"

"We are still working on that list," Sonic said.

"Who are you?" Hikeya finally asked.

"Troublemaker of the Matrix," Q answered, getting weird glances from Sonic and Rose.

"Since when did you travel the matrix?" Rose asked.

"Go look me up sometime," Q answered. "Check for Operative 19."

"Operative 19?" Sonic said. "So you are the one they put on Forced Vacation."

"The one and only," Q said.

"Well we have to get going," Sonic said, stopping the car. "We will have to catch up another time."

"No problem," Q said as Sonic grabbed Hikeya and started chasing after Lupin on foot again.

"Say hi to your son for us," Rose said, flying after Sonic and Hikeya.

"And the footrace is on again," Joe yelled.

"Looks like an old desert town," Mark commented.

"That it does," Joe said. "And what old desert town would be complete without Speedy Gonzales!"

"None of them Joe," Mark said. "Here he comes now!"

"And there he goes," Joe added. "What will be next?"

"Where did everyone go?" Mark asked, looking around.

"I don't know," Joe admitted.

"Why are we running around the Enterprise?" Sonic asked.

"Why did Q show up in the back of the car back there?" Rose answered.

"NARRATOR!" Kalshion yelled.

"Don't ask me," Nadesiko's altered voice answered. "Joe and Mark took over for this segment."

"Can you tell us ANYTHING?" Sonic asked.

"Yep," Nadesiko answered. "Lupin just grabbed a shuttle."

Sonic stopped at a console and pushed a button. "Sonic to Captain Picard, can we borrow a shuttle or three?"

"Why not take the whole ship?" Picard answered. "Somehow that person you are chasing got the Delta Flier."

"In that case," Rose said, pushing the button, "FOLLOW THAT FLIER!"

"Make it so," Picard said.

Five minutes later on the bridge

"How many wormholes have we gone through?" Sonic asked.

"That was number ten so far," Picard answered.

"I do not r ecognize some of the species with you," Data commented.

"Oh, sorry," Sonic said. "Rose and Jaime here are fairies and Emily is an elf. Katarina is, as you might have guessed, a ghost. Kalshion, for his part, looks and sounds like a Borg, but acts like himself."

"We should introduce him to Seven," Data said, no one quite sure if he was trying to be funny or not, as they entered another wormhole.

"Good idea," came that all-too-familiar voice. Before anyone could say anything the bridge crew of Voyager appeared on the bridge of the Enterprise.

"Hi Kathryn," Picard said.

"Oh, hi Jean-luc," Janeway responded. "Q?"

"Q," Picard confirmed.

"Thought so," Janeway said. "Oh, hi Sonic. Where is Rose?"

"I'm right here," Rose said.

"Q?" Janeway said, eyeing Rose.

"No," Sonic answered. "It is a long story."

"Do you think I would LET Q do this to me?" Rose asked.

"Good point," Janeway said. "So why are we here, anyway?"

"Data mentioned that I should meet someone named Seven," Kalshion said.

"I am right here," Seven said. "What is your designation?"

"My NAME is Kalshion," Kalshion responded.

"Don't mind him," Emily said. "He may look and sound like Borg, but his mind is still as human as his body was, oh, how long ago was that anyway?"

"From our point of view," Jaime said. "A few months."

"Why are we chasing the Delta Flier?" Tom Paris finally got enough bearings to ask.

"Longer story," Katarina said.

"Got a way to stop it?" Geordi asked.

"Yep," Tom said, taking weapons from an ensign. Soon a single phaser shot had taken out the engines of the Flier, and it was forced to go into orbit around a nearby planet. Scans showed that Lupin had beamed down, but the planet's atmosphere prevented them from finding him on the surface.

"Why can we never beam them back UP?" Sonic mumbled as they ran to the nearest transporter room. Soon the group had beamed down. Zenigata was glad he was finally in a place he knew something about, and the rest of the group dropped their mouths in surprise.

"IMPOSSIBLE!" Rose finally yelled.

"Figures Lupin would find his version of Earth out here," Sonic said, looking around.

Exactly 7.37652 seconds later

After a few screams had rocked the matrix Sonic yelled into a communicator. "VERY FUNNY SCOTTY, NOW BEAM DOWN OUR CLOTHES!"

As soon as Scotty had done so the group went out in search of Lupin, knowing he could be anywhere on the planet. Three months later they still hadn't caught him.

"Say, I just realized something," Hikeya said. "How do we get OFF this planet once we do find him?"

"I was going to worry about that when we found him," Sonic answered.

"He must be itching to get out and steal something," Rose said. "There haven't been any reports of crimes in three months."

"Nothing worth stealing has been in the news," Katarina said, somehow having found a spirit newspaper she was currently reading.

"THAT'S IT!" Tommy said, the rest of the group shocked. "No time to talk, come with me." Tommy then ran off, the rest of the group chasing after him.

Three weeks later

"Welcome to the unveiling of the worlds most valuable gun," a man said, holding scissors at a ribbon. "Worth over fifty billion dollars."

"I'll take it," Lupin's voice rang out as a news helicopter dropped a giant claw. Lupin wasn't sure if he should be worried about the fact that there was no resistance, nor that no one there seemed surprised he showed up, but he figured they had just gotten sloppy or something.

"That was too easy," Jigen said.

"So what," Lupin said. "Just improves the profit margin."

"Good point," Jigen said. "Lets go see what it is we just stole."

Two hours later

"H e we go," Lupin said, grabbing the cloth that was still covering the box they had taken. "I present to you, the worlds most valuable gun!" With that he ripped the cloth off, and promptly fell on his behind and started to back off.

"Only because it is the one to capture you," Sonic said, pulling the trigger to launch a net out that captured the whole group of thieves and stun-shocked them into unconsciousness. A little searching got the group the key they had been looking for, and Zenigata cuffed Lupin and his friends to drag them in. Twenty minutes later Zenigata was screaming as Lupin had escaped again, but the group wasn't concerned as they had what they needed.

"So what do we do now?" Rose asked, somehow floating along on her back next to Jaime and Katarina, who were doing the same thing.

"Either find a way home," Sonic said, "or figure out how you can use your wings to float on your back."

"I'm not silly," Rose said. "You are walking on the ceiling."

Sonic looked at his feet, then what appeared to be above his head. "Ooops," was all he got out before he, Cologne, Tommy, Hikeya, Emily, and Kalshion fell to the floor.

"Wait a minute," Katarina said as the three fliers came down to the others. "Isn't that your house across the street there?"

"What?" Rose and Jaime said, shooting over to the window. "IT IS!"

A few minutes later the group was in the house, trying to figure out how it got onto Lupin's version of Earth. Rose finally looked out the kitchen window to find the gateway sitting there. "What the?" she said, calling the others over. As soon as they realized they were back on the world they had started on everyone decided this would be a good time to get some sleep.

So they did.

The next day Sonic woke up, stretched, and started for the bedroom door. Halfway there he got a feeling that something was wrong, and when he passed the small table by the door it finally hit him. He had left the three keys they needed sitting on the table by the door, and now there was only a small piece of paper. Hoping this didn't mean what he thought it might mean he picked up the paper and read it.

"LUPIN!" Sonic screamed, sending a shockwave that registered on the Rictor Scale across the entire Nexial Matrix, woke up anyone who had been asleep, and caused Lupin to turn as giddy as a schoolgirl in his success.

"Come on," Nadesiko's altered voice said. "You didn't really think the forces that made this game would end a perfectly good chase scene that soon, did you?"

"You are lucky I don't blame you for this," Sonic said as the rest of the group showed up.

"Eh," Nadesiko said, shrugging even though Sonic couldn't see her.

"And the chase is on again," Joe said as the group left to find Lupin.

"That's right Joe," Mark said. "Looks like they should have made sure Lupin was kept in the bag when they had the chance."

"Their loss Mark. Today it looks like Lupin has taken a new approach."

"That he has Joe. Instead of carrying all the keys with him he has split them up."

"Lupin has one of the keys, of course, while the other two have been handed off to his teammates."

"The only problem is that we don't know which of his three teammates does NOT have a key."

"Is it Goemon, Jigen, or Fujiko that is the decoy?"

"We will have to wait to find out, won't we."

"YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT WE HAVE TO CHASE ALL FOUR TO ENSURE WE GET ALL THREE KEYS!" Sonic screamed.

"That you do," Joe said.

"THAT'S IT!" Sonic said, pulling out his key and transforming it. "YOU TWO ARE FIRED!"

"What?" Mark said as Sonic ripped a hole in the RPG, revealing Joe and Mark.

"FIRST YOU," Sonic said, grabbing Mark and launching him into orbit around Pluto.

"I gotta run," Joe said, jumping through the hole and running for his life.

"YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH USING MY PSEU DO-NAME THAT EASILY," Sonic screamed, breaking the sound barrier. Moments later Joe was orbiting some planet on the other side of the Milky Way.

"Yo Narrator," Sonic yelled. "Start up some good Lupin chasing music, would ya?"

"Sure thing," Nadesiko said, searching for a good song. A minute later "tsuiseki <--> tousou" was playing, and Nadesiko had queued up a few more songs for after it. Sonic and the gang split up into four teams, each taking a different person. Sonic and Rose went after Lupin, Kalshion and Katarina took Goemon, Tommy and Cologne took Jigen, Emily and Jaime taking Fujiko, while Hikeya stayed behind with a computer and a radio to coordinate everyone.

Of course, twenty minutes later they realized that Hikeya was the ONLY one with a radio. After returning so they could pick some up, those that were assigned to chasing resumed doing so.

Three days later

"So has Terry seen anything?" Sonic asked.

"No," Bruce responded. "You will be the third to know if he does."

"The third?" Rose said, eyebrow raised.

"Me first," Bruce said. "Hikeya second, you third, as I don't have a way to contact you directly."

"Ok," Sonic said. "Works for me."

Elsewhere

"Thank you inspector," Kalshion said. "Hikeya will be waiting for your call."

"No problem," the Inspector said.

"Thanks Penny," Katarina said, around the corner. "I think I trust you more then your uncle. I am sure Hikeya would, too."

"No problem," Penny said, looking over at her uncle. "Uncle Gadget can be a tad.....out of it."

"Interesting man," Kalshion said when he met up with Katarina.

"Who would have guessed we would meet up with someone more machine then human," Katarina said.

"Now I know why he is Inspector Gadget, anyway," Kalshion said as they moved on to continue searching.

On another continent

"Thank you Mr. Bond," Emily said.

"Don't worry about it," James Bond replied. "Anything to help you get the world back to normal. You said to tell Hikeya, was it?"

"Yes, please," Emily said. "Come on Jaime, let’s go."

On Baker Street

"Thank you Mr. Holmes," Cologne said.

"Ok Watson," Holmes said. "You can let the maniac out now."

Watson nodded and opened the closet door, untying Tommy.

"You could have just said something," Tommy said.

"We will let Hikeya know if anything turns up," Holmes said.

"Thank you again," Cologne said as she and Tommy left.

Back with Hikeya

"Well this is boring," Hikeya said, playing with the computer.

"You got that right," Nadesiko said.

"So, why are you so nice anyway?" Hikeya said. "You aren't like any of the other narrators."

"I have my reasons," Nadesiko said, knowing that if she so much as hinted at her identity that she would be removed from the position.

"You got that right," Saraia said, sticking her head in front of the RPG for a moment.

"So who is the narrator for the narrator, anyway?" Nadesiko said.

"Who said it was a narrator?" Saraia responded. "That would be the author."

"Oh, ok," Nadesiko said.

"Watson to Hikeya," the radio suddenly blurted. "Jigen has been spotted at Big Ben. Over."

"Thank you Watson," Hikeya said. "Over and out. Hikeya to Cologne, sighting reported at Big Ben. Over."

"Thank you Hikeya," Cologne answered. "We are on it. Over and out."

"Where were we?" Hikeya asked.

"I think we were talking about narrator levels," Nadesiko said.

"Have fun," Saraia said. "I am going back to watch."

"Why is it that I can never see or make out the actual voices of the people who do that?" Hikeya asked.

"Camera position," Nadesiko responded.

Off in a large TV s tudio elsewhere in the matrix

"It has been six months since that RPG started airing," a producer complained. "When will we be able to air our regularly scheduled programming again?

"I don't know," a nearby director said. "But at least we got the next two years worth of episodes taped."

"The best part," an actor added, "is that only those who were involved with the taping know. When that RPG ends we go on vacation."

"That was the plan," a coffee boy said. "Until someone tapped into that camera you left on in the corner there and jacked it into the RPG footage."

In a bar downtown

"You mean to tell me we have been on TV for SIX MONTHS!" Sonic said, staring at the TV.

"I guess so," Rose said.

"I wonder what our ratings are like," Sonic wondered aloud.

"Considering that this says that no other show has been able to get airtime since we came on the air," Rose said. "We are the most popular show around. In fact, this says the only ones complaining about us are people who want to stick commercials in and those who were making money on their own shows."

"Figures," Sonic said as a beating of a drum could be heard.

"Oh great," Rose said. "Another song."

"I don't know," Sonic said. "Sounds like it is approaching." With that the energizer bunny came out of a small door at the end of the bar, walked down the bar beating its drum, and through another small door at the other end of the bar. "See?"

"That was odd," Rose said.

"Not really," Sonic said. "At least, not for this world."

"Shall we go?" Rose asked.

"Sure," Sonic said. He would have finished his beer, but he hadn't ordered one due to the obvious additional effects beer had in this altered world.

Back at Big Ben

"So where is he?" Tommy said, pulling out a gun.

"Up there," Cologne said, gesturing. Tommy looked, saw Jigen, and fired. A second later Jigen's gun fell to the ground, and Tommy picked it up. "So much for his weapon."

"That was too easy," Tommy said, running up the stairs. When they reached Jigen everyone could hear their heartbeats, a plane flew overhead and an air raid siren started going off. A helicopter flew by, and someone started to play a guitar. A drum joined in, and the song started. Tommy, however, was the one singing. With a very odd look in his eye, at that.

Hey Kid, wanna have some fun?
Choose a side and here's your gun
With this Tommy threw Jigen's gun to him.

Brought up knowing right from wrong,
squash the meek, inherit the strong
Tommy drew his own gun again, drawing a line on the ground with it.

Just try and cross the line,
Don't even bother to waste my time

What's that look in your eyes?
It's time I cut you down to size

This world ain't big enough for two,
And I've got my sights on you
Tommy raised his gun to point it at Jigen.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE,
I'M A WARHEAD, YOU'RE A WARHEAD
A WARHEAD JUST LIKE ME?
HE'S A WARHEAD, SHE'S A WARHEAD
WATCH 'EM SCREAM 'N YELL
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE, A WARHEAD TOO
WHEN I BLOW THEM
STRAIGHT TO HELL

Ramboy, it's us and them
Just like your Daddy in Vietnam
Monkey see, Monkey do,
Your boy's grown up
Just like you

This world ain't
Big enough for two
and I've got my
sights on you, on you

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE,
I'M A WARHEAD, YOU'RE A WARHEAD
A WARHEAD JUST LIKE ME?
HE'S A WARHEAD, SHE'S A WARHEAD
WATCH 'EM SCREAM 'N YELL
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE, A WARHEAD TOO
WHEN I BLOW THEM
STRAIGHT TO HELL
The music played for a while as Jigen ran, Tommy and Cologne running after him. When they reached the top of the tower Tommy broke back into song.

I've seen Black heads,
White heads,
Red heads,< br />Dead heads,
Big heads,
Shit heads,
but, there's no heads
Like WARHEADS!

This world ain't
Big enough for two
and I've got my
sights on

A loud rumbling blocked out the music and the singing at this point, soon ending.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE,
I'M A WARHEAD, YOU'RE A WARHEAD
A WARHEAD JUST LIKE ME?
HE'S A WARHEAD, SHE'S A WARHEAD
WATCH 'EM SCREAM 'N YELL
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE, A WARHEAD TOO
WHEN I BLOW THEM
STRAIGHT TO HELL

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE,
I'M A WARHEAD, YOU'RE A WARHEAD
A WARHEAD JUST LIKE ME?
HE'S A WARHEAD, SHE'S A WARHEAD
WATCH 'EM SCREAM 'N YELL
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE, A WARHEAD TOO
WHEN I BLOW THEM
STRAIGHT TO HELL

The music continued to play as Tommy and Jigen stared each other down, the air raid siren going off one last time before the music ended.

"Draw," Jigen said, pulling his gun to shoot Tommy. His reflexes were fast, but so were Tommy's, and they shot each other's guns into the air. Tommy, however, wasted no time in pulling out his 49, using its infinite ammo supply to keep Jigen's gun in the air as he caught his own gun.

"Damn you're good," Jigen said, watching his gun fall a little, then fly back into the air again as another bullet hit it.

"Give us the key," Cologne said, approaching Jigen.

"What key?" Jigen said.

"Didn't Lupin give you a key?" Cologne said.

"Oh," Jigen responded, pulling a small object out of his hat and throwing it to Cologne. "He just gave me this little box."

"Figures," Cologne said, looking at the box. "We can't open this without the pieces that attach to it."

"Who has the other pieces," Tommy said, aiming the unoccupied gun at Jigen. Jigen took note of the fact that, without looking, Tommy was still keeping his gun in the air.

"Each of us was given a piece," Jigen finally said.

"Figures," Cologne said, hiding the box in her clothing. "Lets go."

"Ok," Tommy said, putting his guns away. Jigen caught his gun as it fell, and quickly vanished. Cologne and Tommy didn't catch where, as they were using the only exit. They figured it was a waste of time to check, and radioed to Hikeya that they had something.

Meanwhile....

"Are you sure this is where Hikeya said Fujiko was?" Jaime said, looking at the building they had arrived at.

"Yep," Emily said, walking up to the door and opening it. "Seems a bit obvious, though."

Emily walked through the door, holding it open for Jaime. Jaime flew in, taking one last look at the sign above the door.

It read "Fujiko's Hairstyling".

Once inside Emily and Jaime saw Fujiko right away. She was standing behind the counter, doing her nails, acting as if there was nothing she should be hiding and no one that would be looking for her.

"Hello," Emily said, approaching the counter.

"Oh," Fujiko said. "Hi Emily. I suppose you want the box."

"Box?" Jaime said. "I thought it was a key."

"I just got this stupid little box," Fujiko said, holding up a small box.

"We'll take it," Emily said, reaching for the box.

"No you don't," Fujiko said, pulling the box away. "Just because I am here, you are here, and I have the box, doesn't mean you get it that easily."

"My arrows say otherwise," Emily said, reaching for her bow. A moment later she realized it wouldn't come off of her back. "What the?"

"You didn't notice the signs," Fujiko said, gesturing at the wall. "No fighting in this area. Means no weapons."

"In that case," Jaime said. "What do we have to do?"

"Simple," Fujiko said, a gleam in her eye and that 'I have something sneaky planned' look on her face. Seeing the gleam and the facial expression, Emily and Jaime both started to worry. "You just have to get 'the works', and I will give you this stupid little box."

"What is 'the works'?" Emily asked, concern obvious in her tone.

"Complete makeover," Fujiko said. "From head to toe, clothing included."

"How much does it COST?" Jaime asked.

"Today's special," Fujiko said. "Only $75 for the two of you."

"How much does it NORMALLY cost?" Emily asked.

"$25 per person," Fujiko said, grinning.

"Why the extra charge?" Emily continued.

"I haven't had a makeover in a while, and I don't want to pay for one," Fujiko said. Jaime fell to the floor at this.

"Can we just buy yours and get on with this?" Emily said.

"Come on," Fujiko said. "We can play Girl's night out, just the three of us, getting our makeover."

"I don't know," Emily said as Jaime finally pulled herself off the floor. While she was doing so the three watched the Energizer bunny go down the counter, turn around, and go back again, using a small door at the end of the counter. Shrugging it off, they continued.

"Besides," Fujiko said. "You don't get the box until we all have had our makeovers."

"Figures," Jaime said, floating back up to eye level with Fujiko as Emily pulled out $75 and put it on the counter.

"Lets just get this over with," Emily said, as Fujiko walked to the front door, locked it, and flipped a sign to closed.

"Follow me," Fujiko said, leading the two to the back room.

Six hours later

"You two look great," Fujiko said, coming out of the back room, looking no different then she had when she went back to begin with.

"The decision to do this was highly illogical," Emily said, coming out in a Vulcan uniform. Closer inspection showed that she had a somewhat Vulcan body as well.

"At least you look somewhat like you used to," Jaime said, coming out. She was now a girl in her late teens, brunette hair down to her mid-back. Two bits of hair stuck up in front of her, each starting in the middle of her forehead and going off in different directions. Her clothing was a tad revealing, but not overly so. "That, and I have a sudden urge to get plastered to calm myself over this."

"At least you don't have to go to classes," Fujiko joked, tossing the small box to Emily.

"Why did you have to be so drastic with me?" Jaime asked.

"Hard to work with someone who could sleep in the average shoe around here," Fujiko said, pushing them out of the store. "Cya."

"Who is this?" an all-too-familiar voice came. "Two pretty ladies?"

Jaime homed in on the voice like she had a radar system embedded in her head. Happosai was on the top of a nearby ten-story building, staring at the two. For some reason he hadn't leaped at them, probably because he was more cautious due to previous events.

"You PERVERT," Jaime yelled, swinging her fist at Happosai. Moments later Happosai was flying through the air, highly confused. No attack name appeared above Jaime's head, though, thus it was a mere physical attack. Still didn't explain how she made contact, and there were no wise men in the area to enlighten anyone.

"I gotta learn that one," Nadesiko said as the scene faded to black.

On the Enterprise

"How did we get up here again," Katarina asked Kalshion.

"I don't know," Kalshion said. "We went through a door in that old building and came out the turbo lift."

"You won't be defeating me easily," Goemon said. "You don't even have a sword."

"Is that so," Kalshion said, grinning a very un-Borg grin. "I happen to have this one here." With that he pulled a sword from his back, that hadn't been there before.

"Lets see how good you are with it," Goemon said, attacking Kalshion. A blaze of light and Goemon was behind Kalshion, who turned around and snickered.

"Amazing," Picard said. "I couldn't keep track beyond the first three hits."

"I caught a good thir teen," Janeway said.

"There were forty-eight hits," Data said. "And forty-nine blocks."

"My turn," Kalshion said, leaping at Goemon. Another flash of light and Kalshion landed behind Goemon.

"Data," Wesley said. "I lost count at 18 hits. How many were there?"

"Ninety three," Data said. "With only ninety two successful blocks." With that Goemon fell to the floor, a bump becoming obvious on his head.

"Nice job Kalshion," came a familiar woman's voice.

"Thank you Admiral Janeway," Kalshion said as Katarina retrieved Goemon's box.

"So Captain Janeway," Admiral Janeway said. "I don't suppose you can tell me what is going on here?"

"We aren't fully sure," Captain Janeway responded as the Energizer bunny came out of the turbo lift, passed the entire ordeal, and left through a nearby door.

"How did a sword give him a bump on the head?" Picard asked.

"It didn't," Kalshion said. "I am sure Data can explain, we need to get to the transporter room."

"Of course," Picard said, beckoning them to get going. As soon as they left he turned to Data. "So how did that bump occur?"

"He fought dirty," Data responded. "He pulled out a club and smacked Goemon with it as he blocked one of the swings."

The next day

"We have two of the keys," Sonic said. "But no sign of Lupin."

"He seems to have vanished," Hikeya said. "No one has seen any sign of him. His partners also vanished as soon as you had their boxes."

"THAT STUPID BUNNY TOOK MY BEDROOM!" came Jaime's new voice.

"It isn't like you can fit in that thing anymore anyway," Rose said, trying to calm Jaime down.

"I'LL RIP THE BATTERY OUT OF HIS BACK WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HIM!" Jamie continued. Emily, drawing on her command of the English language, said nothing. Instead, she gave Jaime the Vulcan nerve pinch. Jaime immediately stopped yelling, turned around, and smacked Emily. She then went back to yelling.

"Amazing," Tuvok said. "It failed for some reason."

"Why are you here," Cologne said.

"I think it was only to make that comment," Tuvok said. "Thus, the logical course of action would be for me to leave."

"I'll be back later," Rose said, flying for the door. "I have something to do."

"Ok," Sonic said, perplexed. He did, however, notice that she had taken a good amount of money with her.

Nine hours later

The group had no more leads as to where Lupin was, and night was beginning to fall for the fifth time that hour.

"That is it," Tommy suddenly said, jumping up and walking over to the door. He pulled out a big gun, and fired it. A moment later the sun dropped like a dead bird, and night fell. This time it stayed night.

"Even he is learning," Nadesiko said to herself, amazed at how something so insane could actually be a form of training. Then she glared at the Energizer Bunny as it crossed her console.

"I'm back," came an unfamiliar voice from outside. Everyone, including the Energizer bunny, turned to look. Walking in the door was a girl in her late teens with pink hair, somewhat normal teenage clothing, and furrows in her forehead. "I didn't get what I wanted, but it is close enough."

"R..Rose?" Sonic said, not sure if he was amazed or confused.

"Yep," Rose said. "I got a makeover, I was tired of being a fairy and it did wonders for Jaime."

"Pink hair just doesn't work for half-Klingons," Kalshion said.

"Human attitudes don't work for Borg drones," Rose shot back.

"Point taken," Kalshion said.

"Anyone home," came another unfamiliar voice, this one male. A quick head count showed that there were no missing members of the party.

"Who are you?" Tommy yelled back.

"Terry," came the voice.

"Come in, come in," Sonic yelled, getting up. "Do you have any news for us?"

"You guys live here?" Terry said, surprised.

"Yea," Sonic said. "Didn't you come here to see us?"

"Not really," Terry said as he came in, stepping over the Energizer bunny that went past him and down the hall. Jaime eyed it as it went by, but made no move to grab it. "I did track Lupin down, though."

"GREAT!" Jaime said, jumping up and hugging Terry. Then she slammed him to the ground.

"Don't mind her," Sonic said. "She is having a bit of an identity crisis. I think. Maybe."

"I'll remember that," Terry said, rubbing his head.

"So where is Lupin," Rose asked.

"I tracked him down to," Terry started.

In a remote world across the Nexial Matrix

A shockwave rocked the small world, causing a new building to collapse moments before it was to be opened.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" the local mayor yelled.

Back with the gang

Sonic finally pulled himself off the floor, the others starting to do the same. "YOU MEAN HE HAS BEEN IN OUR BASEMENT THE WHOLE TIME!"

"Since when did we have a basement, anyway?" Rose asked. "I don't recall seeing a basement door around here."

"Oh, that," Hikeya said. "It is next to my bedroom out back."

"What else is back there?" Jaime asked.

"Two other bedrooms," Hikeya said. "A small bathroom. Oh, and there is a hot spring out back, through a door in the bathroom."

"Two bedrooms?" Rose said.

"Yea," Hikeya said. "One of them has some kind of weapon hanging on the wall." At this Rose ran out to the back, followed by Jaime.

"YAHOO!" Jaime yelled. "I GOT A NEW BEDROOM!"

"That goes for two of us," Rose said. "Emily, did you notice your door now leads out to the back, instead of out front here?"

"That is only Logical," Emily said. "Especially since Sonic's bathroom moved."

"My bathroom?" Sonic said, confused.

"Of course silly," Jaime said, returning. "The girl's bathroom is out back now."

"You mean.." Sonic started, now having an idea where this was going.

"The hot spring is now our bath," Emily said. "It is logical, after all."

"Good thing we don't spend a lot of time at home," Sonic said.

"Well," Terry said. "I have a date, so cya."

"Bye," Kalshion said as Terry left. "Can we get that key now?"

"Yes," Sonic said, making a beeline for the back of the house. The rest of the group joined him, and they found the basement door. Sonic opened it and stepped through, seemingly vanishing in the darkness. The rest of the group followed.

"Figures," Sonic said as he was crushed by the weight of those on top of him. "Our basement has no stairs." Sonic grumbled a bit more as those on top of him started to climb off one by one. Sometime during this the Energizer Bunny walked by Sonic's face, as if to mock him.

"What are you doing in my quarters?" came a voice as lights came on.

"No clue," Rose said, turning to look at who had been speaking. "Oh," she gasped, realizing she was talking to B'Elanna Torres. "Hi B'Elanna."

"Who are you?" B'Elanna asked. "And what inspired someone with Klingon blood to die their hair pink?"

"That would be Rose," Sonic said, dusting himself off.

"Rose?" B'Elanna said, looking at Rose more carefully. "This is much too weird."

"You are a Starfleet officer," Captain Janeway said, standing in the doorway. "Weird is practically in your job description."

"Yes," Hikeya said. "But in this case, B'Elanna's quarters appear to be in our basement."

"I don't want to know," Janeway said. "Lupin is in Astrometrics."

"How did you get back to Voyager?" Sonic asked.

"Don't ask me," Janeway said. "It just happened."

The group shrugged, and ran to Astrometrics. There they found Lupin running through a portal of some kind, and followed him, getting thro ugh just as the portal closed. They then found themselves in Engineering on the Enterprise, Lupin running into the hall. Chasing him through the ship they found Q, Q, Q, and Q playing cards. "Hi guys," Sonic said. They just nodded back to him. "How do four beings with the power to see each other's cards play a good game of cards?" Sonic then wondered as Lupin ran onto the bridge. He jumped into the view screen, the gang following. They came out in Ranma and Akane's room, Lupin already halfway across it.

"Hi you two," Rose said.

"Hi Rose," Akane said as they ran past. Ranma barely got off a nod before the group was gone through another portal, both portals closing before Ranma or Akane could have gotten to them.

"Why didn't we grab them?" Sonic asked.

"There was not enough time," Emily answered.

"How did Akane recognize me?" Rose asked.

"Your pink hair is highly distinctive," Cologne answered as they came out in the middle of a battle between Inuyasha and Naraku.

"Didn't we see them on that weird TV show?" Kagome asked.

"Yep," Inuyasha answered, staring as the group vanished into another portal.

"I'm on TV!" General Williams squealed as the group ran past her, the group wondering what was going on with these portals. The next portal, however, was like a long tunnel, Lupin running in front of them. Then, without warning, the Energizer bunny appeared next to them, then overtook them, and flew past Lupin into a bright light the group quickly came upon themselves.

Over the next hour, the group found themselves in fifty random homes, twenty stores, three restaurants, two break rooms, and even in the control room, flying through so fast they didn't have time to notice Nadesiko. Along the way they also ran into the Energizer bunny at least twenty times. Finally, the group arrived in a large field, everyone collapsing from the strain of running for so long at the pace they had been going at.

"I need a boost," Lupin said, looking around. The Energizer bunny approached him.

"Does that thing ever stop?" Tommy asked.

"No," Lupin said, an idea bulb forming over his head. Seconds later he grabbed the bunny, ripped out the battery in it, and ate the battery. The resulting surge of energy turned him into a twenty-foot tall monster that was regenerating HP like there was no tomorrow. A burst of energy from the newly made monster rocked the time-space continuum, causing ships from all over time and space to appear in orbit around the planet.

"What the hell," Hikeya said, looking at a laptop she was carrying. Sonic looked at the laptop and shrugged. "We are receiving three hundred and fifty four billion hails."

"Figures," Sonic said. "Set a busy message and get ready to fight."

"A fight?" came several voices.

"Figures the Q would show up," Rose said as fifty eight THOUSAND Q popped in. The resulting fall onto respective backsides caused a small earthquake.

"Since when are there THAT MANY OF YOU?" Tommy yelled.

"Since we came from all the versions of the universe in Time and Space," one Q said. It was then that the group realized that there were only four or five unique Q among the entire group, as far as they could see.

"Care to help us here?" Cologne asked.

"Oh, no," another Q said. "We didn't come to fight, we came to place bets."

"Lets get this over with," Lupin yelled, attacking the group. Hikeya was the first target, knocked out instantly.

"You shouldn't have done that," Emily said, pulling out her bow and arrows. Firing at Lupin she managed to knock off a good five hundred HP, but he counter-attacked and knocked her out. Jaime, watching this, got angry and let out a long-distance-punch that sent Lupin flying backwards. Taking the opportunity, Tommy fired his biggest gun at Lupin, knocking him further back.

"That smarted," Lupin said as Sonic drew his sword and Rose drew a be tleH. Before Lupin could get up Sonic had attacked with his sword, cutting one of Lupin's arms off. Rose quickly jumped in and sliced the other arm off with the betleH. As Lupin reeled from the pain associated with having his arms chopped off Cologne smacked him with her cane while Katarina cast a restoration spell on Emily. Kalshion finished the round off by cutting Lupin's leg off.

"Nice try," Lupin said as a healing affect kicked in, and he was restored to full health, his limbs re-attaching to his body as if they had never been removed. In the awe that followed he attacked the group again, knocking Emily back out and sending Jaime with her.

"Damn," Sonic said, charging up his blade. Kalshion was doing the same as Rose let out an attack with her betleH, slicing Lupin's head right off his shoulders. Cologne then jammed a rock into Lupin's windpipe while Katarina attacked with a quake spell. Tommy fired his guns at a constant rate throughout all of this. Again, however, Lupin recovered fully, spitting the rock out at Tommy, knocking him out. He then attacked the group, knocking Cologne out with a hard hit. Katarina started another resurrection spell as Rose went for Lupin's heart, but missed as Lupin dodged. Sonic and Kalshion then let loose their charged attacks at the same time, cutting Lupin into fifty pieces, yet he still recovered fully at the end of the round.

"Will this idiot die already?" Kalshion said, launching an attack before Lupin had a chance to. Lupin, however, used a magic attack this time, knocking Kalshion back and dealing moderate damage to Sonic and Rose. Katarina, however, had still been working on the resurrection spell and thus had her guard down. She was knocked out before she could bring anyone back to life, as Sonic and Rose each attacked again, this time cutting Lupin's head into a few pieces. Yet he still recovered, although Sonic and Rose noticed that they also recovered a bit at the end of the round.

"My turn," Lupin said, somehow pulling a sword from his back and slicing Kalshion into pieces with it. Sonic and Rose took this opportunity to cut Lupin into twenty separate pieces, yet he still put himself back together and counter-attacked, dropping Sonic and Rose to zero health. They both, however, had a force of will that restored a single HP, allowing their meager health boost to take effect at the end of the "round."

"Still Alive aye?" said Lupin a bit confused to how they pulled off surviving on him.

Both Rose and Sonic gave determined looks while breathing extremely hard before an attack was listed above them, "Quantum Merge". Within seconds of the attack appearing a magic circle with a triangle in the center made up of 3 smaller triangles appeared around them and a pillar of swirling blue energy came out of it. Suddenly both Rose and Sonic turned from flesh into blue energy with a pink glow coming out of Rose's chest, and a yellow one coming out of Sonic's. Within seconds their blue energy scattered into several balls and swirled into the air above them followed by their pink and yellow energy shooting to the center of the blue balls and colliding. The resulting blue flash could be seen from one of the moons.

Lupin shielded his eyes wonder what in the hell was going on when the pillar exploded revealing a young women with long blue hair with a rose on above her left ear, a two piece bathing suit style white suit, with golden looking dragons above her breasts that meet at her chests, a golden staff with a circle on top with the symbol of light inside wrapped around a dragon that was standing on a blue transparent pearl with the symbol of Hope inside, eight shining white wings, and white thick boots with small wings on top.

Lupin couldn't help but stair at her form a moment, namely her beasts before he decided to speak, "So who might you be miss?"

The woman smiled, and with both Rose and Sonic's voice talking at the same time, "I am Dragon Mistress, Guardian of the Dragons, keeper of H armony, and champion of the Matrix," she said putting her hand out towards the KOed members of the group, "Miracle Litany," she said.

A bright blast of white light came from the group that soon passed revealing the entire group had been restored. They all seemed a bit confused, and especially wondered who the lady was floating above them, all but Hikeya that is who grinned back at Lupin.

Lupin didn't take kindly to the fact that Dragon Mistress just revived the entire group in one spell, and quickly launched another attack at them. Dragon Mistress wasted no time and put her staff into the air, "White Dragon Protect!" she yelled. Suddenly the faint image of a tall white dragon was standing with the group followed by white shields forming around each member. Lupin’s attack slammed into each shield, but didn't even cause any of the group members to flinch.

"What the?" said Lupin just as Dragon Mistress flung her staff with a back swing causing a massive blue energy to come out and slam into him sending him a few Kilometers back.

Unfortunately Lupin quickly regenerated and was back on his feet, "You are going to have to do better than that," he said laughing.

Dragon Mistress nodded, "If that is what you want," she said in a Sonic/Rose synchronized voice.

Dragon mistress than placed her right hand straight to her side and a blue sphere with the tri-circle molded on it appeared around her. The attack "Star Light" appeared above her as the sphere grew to twice the size of her self, preventing anyone from seeing her inside it. Suddenly the top broke like glass and out flew a green crystal skin dragon that blasted into orbit.

In orbit, the dragon began to glow green as it charged a white energy in its mouth before releasing a beam of pure white at the earth. The blast came straight on top of Lupin where it turned into a swirling sphere of white energy with Lupin screaming in the center. When the blast cleared, a rather large pothole was where Lupin stood. Later analysis showed Lupin was still in his monstrous form, but fried to a crisp and paralyzed in the center of it.

The rest of the group except for Hikeya just stood there with their jaws open as the green dragon came back down to them and in a white glow morphed back to Dragon Mistress. "Well done," said Hikeya coming up to them, "I've always heard of that attack, but I never got to see it in person."

Dragon Mistress smiled before she turned blue and with a burst of light split into a two balls of pink and yellow energy that flew to the ground and formed Rose, who was now fully human with pink hair and a black witch outfit with the title "Sorceress" and Sonic who had returned to his normal game status.

"That should do it," Sonic said, staring at the hole, grinning.

"Yea, right," Lupin's voice suddenly came, as he bounded out of the hole, back to full health. This time everyone in the group dropped their jaws.

"Allow me," came a voice from behind the group. The camera jumped back to show Captain Picard, holding something copper colored in his hand. He pulled out a small slingshot, loaded the copper colored item into it, and shot it at Lupin. True to RPG style it hit Lupin right where it was aimed, the mouth. Lupin swallowed it, and his power skyrocketed.

For three or four seconds, at any rate. Then his power just seemed to leave him, something sucking all the life out of him, causing him to return to normal. Finally he threw up two objects, one black and the copper colored object that Picard had hit him with. Rose bent down and looked at the two items. The copper colored item was a Duracell battery.

"How did that work?" Rose asked.

"You shouldn't mix battery types," Picard said as he was beamed up.

"I guess that makes sense," Sonic said. "Or at least, I think it does."

"What is with them?" Tommy asked, jerking his finger over his shoulder. Looking around, the group found that all of the Q had fallen over at some point.

"Probably couldn't believe what happened," Katarina said. "I am still working on that part myself."

"Lets just take this key," Cologne said, holding the key up, "and get out of here."

The rest of the group agreed, and they left all the Q on their backs, figuring that they would eventually get up.