CmptrWz

Chapter 40
Curses R Us
You would think they would know by now.....

"Why can't I run the store?" Nadeshiko asked.

"You are too kind," MM responded, looking in the phone book under 'Devious'.

"What do you mean by that?" Nadeshiko shot back.

MM sighed, and turned to Nadeshiko. "Most of the items in the store are designed to backfire in some way, or otherwise do the unintended. The spells in place on the store would alert you to everything that might go wrong with an item, and as such, your nature would demand that you alert the customer as to what might happen."

"And that is a bad thing?" Nadeshiko asked, perplexed.

"Yes, it is," MM said, turning back to the phone book.

"Don't you have a better reason?" Nadeshiko asked, getting annoyed.

"Yes," MM responded, making note of a couple of numbers in the phone book. "There is currently no female uniform."

"In that case, at least let me choose the devious person to run the shop," Nadeshiko countered.

"As long as I approve him," MM responded, putting down the phone.

Meanwhile, Kia is still working on that puzzle

"This is harder then I thought," Kia said, looking at one of the puzzle pieces from various angles.

"Have you been up all night working on that?" Emeral asked, staring at Kia.

"Yep," Kia answered, putting the piece she had been holding down.

"And you only have ten pieces in place?" Emeral continued.

"Didn't I just say it was harder then I thought?" Kia responded, picking up another piece. "How many pieces are there anyway?"

"Three thousand, three hundred, seventy-five pieces," Joe said, walking in. "I read the box last night."

"I don't suppose it had any hints," Kia said, obviously slightly frustrated.

"It did say something about doing it in the dark," Joe replied, turning off the light. All of the pieces of the puzzle glowed slightly, showing their contents more clearly.

"Thanks!" Kia said, finding the puzzle much easier.

"Good thing we have heavy drapes," Emeral said, walking into the kitchen.

"Better that the puzzle is keeping her from her professional pride," Joe shot back as he entered the kitchen.

"What do you mean?" Emeral asked, curious.

"Didn't I tell you she is a succubus?" Joe responded, raising an eyebrow. Emeral might have responded if she hadn't fainted and fallen face-first into a bowl of cereal she had just poured.

Wow, Nadeshiko found a devious person

"So who do you have?" MM asked, looking at Nadeshiko.

"His name is Dark Kalshion," Nadeshiko said. "He has been wandering through the matrix for years now, seemingly no purpose to his life."

"Works for me," MM said, turning back to a monitor to finish setting up the day's customers. "Lets keep him away from anyone named Kalshion though, just to be safe."

"Shall I get him so he can sign the contract?" Nadeshiko asked.

"Yes," MM said, knocking Kalshion off of the customer list.

Back in town.....

An hour after Emeral woke up she and Joe left the house, intending to search for signs of shards of the Aura. Ranma was also out, having pissed off Akane, mainly trying to stay away from her. As such, he ended up hungry, and looking for food.

"I should go see Ukyo," Ranma mumbled, his hand on his stomach. "She is always good for a free meal."

Thus, Ranma headed to Ukyo's, or rather, where Ukyo's should have been. Instead there was a store with an old, faded sign over the door. Ranma didn't bother to read the sign, however, but went right in to find out where Ukyo had relocated.

Joe thought he felt a slight disturbance about then, but attributed it to gas.

"Anyone here?" Ranma called, amazed at some of the things on the shelves in the store.

"Yes Ranma," a man in what looked to be a bathrobe said. "I don't suppose you came in here to find something to get rid of your curse, did you?"

"You mean you actually have something that can do that?" Ranma said, his hunger and curiosities about Ukyo's apparent relocation forgotten.

"Check aisle six," the man said, grinning. Ranma hurried to the aisle and found a plethora of Jusenkyo-related products. Many of them, however, contained warnings that ranged from blatant to cryptic, all of which Ranma ignored. Finally, after a few minutes of searching, he found a small pouch that seemed to be what he was looking for. The directions were fast yet simple, but he was unsure of the price.

"How much for this?" Ranma asked, looking at the man.

"For you," the man said, stroking his chin. "Fifty yen."

"Here you go," Ranma said, slapping down the fifty yen he had in his pocket. He didn't even realize that fifty yen was all he had on him, but instead went to use the pouch immediately. As such, he also didn't notice as the store vanished, leaving Ukyo's right where it had been. During Ranma's trip into the store it had, however, picked up on Joe's sense that Ranma had vanished and corrected the flaw that created it. As such, there was no longer anything for Joe to notice when Happosai landed in the middle of the woods a few minutes later, having grabbed onto a jogger's chest, and found the store sitting there.

"This wasn't here last week," Happosai said, examining the store. "Shoddy construction though, was probably put up in a hurry. Maybe they have something interesting." With that, he went in. His subconscious had registered the name of the store, but his conscious mind hadn't clicked as to what it might mean. Even if it had, when Happosai found aisle five his fears turned to mush as he tried to decide how to get the entire aisle out of the store.

"Sorry Happosai," the man behind the counter smirked. "There is a spell on all items in the store limiting each customer to one purchase per visit."

"Says who?" Happosai said, glaring at the man.

"Says anyone who doesn't want the spell to turn them into a toad," the man said, glaring back at Happosai. Happosai realized that this was no joke, so he grabbed the nearest bra.

"How much for this," Happosai asked, somehow knowing he wouldn't get away with stealing it.

"Five thousand yen," the man said, grinning.

"Interesting how I have exactly that amount with me," Happosai said, paying the man and leaving before his comment could be returned. Happosai, however, did notice that the store vanished as soon as he stepped out the door. He didn't know, however, that a second later it had replaced the Dojo at the Tendo Residence.

"Where did this store come from?" Kasumi asked herself, walking into the odd store that had taken the place of the Dojo. "I wonder if they have any sugar."

"Here you go," the old man behind the counter said, holding out a bag of Jusenkyo Brand sugar. "On the house."

"Why thank you," Kasumi said, taking the sugar. "Now if only I could find Akane." With that she left the shop and went back to the kitchen with the sugar. Nabiki, however, found the store before it had time to vanish, annoying the man behind the counter as Nabiki wasn't supposed to find the store at all.

"How may I help you Nabiki?" the man asked as Nabiki browsed the items on the shelves. She didn't notice as the store vanished with her inside it, nor when it reappeared three miles across town.

"Got anything to help me make money?" Nabiki asked, not turning to look at the man.

"Ah, a businesswoman," the man said, grinning. "Dealing in pictures, among other things. Would a fly on the wall camera work?"

"How does it work?" Nabiki asked, interested.

"You control it with the control box," the man explained, pointing at a package he pulled from under the counter. "Once it is in position, you press the red button to switch to peep mode."

"How much," Nabiki inquired, imagining all the money she could make with the camera.

"Fifty thousand yen," the man said without flinching. Nabiki, on the other hand, flinched. She only had thirty thousand yen on her.

"Twenty thousand," Nabiki countered, hoping to keep the price within her price range. She had to have the camera.

"Thirty thousand," the man said. "Final offer."

"Sold," Nabiki said, pulling out all the cash she had on her and walking off with the camera. She was so involved in planning her first use of the camera that she didn't notice she was across town, nor that the store vanished as she left it.

Ranma has just finished running a bath and is moving on to the next step in the simplistic instructions on his pouch

"Dump pouch into hot water," Ranma read. Shrugging, he ripped the top of the pouch off and dumped the contents into the water. He stood there watching it dissolve until it had all vanished before consulting the pouch for the next step. This, however, resulting in him fainting, as the next step read "Jump in water before powder is done dissolving."

"Serves him right," Happosai said, smoking his pipe as he sat on the tree outside the bathroom window. The bra he had bought was in his other hand, as he didn't know what to do with it. He could sense something was amiss with it, but wasn't sure what it was. He decided that the best way to find out was to put it on a girl.

Five minutes later Happosai had splashed water on Ranma and was just finishing putting the bra on her ample chest. As soon as the straps were clasped, however, Happosai found himself flat against the wall, unable to move due to a massive force pushing him back. Ranma-chan happened to wake up at this point, found she was there with only a bra on her upper body, and promptly screamed as she booted Happosai through the wall he was pinned to, leaving him to land somewhere in India.

"This is all wrong," Ranma-chan said, putting on the shirt that Happosai had left next to her. "I know I am supposed to be a guy, and that this body is only from a curse, but I also know that I am supposed to be a girl."

"Ranma?" Akane called, worried about Ranma after the scream and crumbling cement sounds had come from the bathroom.

"I am sorry Akane," Ranma said, opening the bathroom door. "Something is happening to me."

"He sounds different," Akane thought to herself. "Almost like when he hit his head." Then, aloud to Ranma, "What do you mean?"

"I remember when I was a girl and didn't understand being a guy," Ranma continued. "But I also remember everything that has happened to the male me."

"I think we should go see Cologne," Akane said. "Something magic is affecting you."

"Good idea Akane," Ranma said, worry playing across her face.

"Before we go," Akane said, inspiration coming to her. "Are you wearing anything the male Ranma doesn't normally wear?"

"Just a bra," Ranma responded, looking down at her chest.

"I want you to try taking it off," Akane said, hoping it was the cause.

"Good idea," Ranma said, taking her shirt off in front of Akane. Akane, for a change, blushed, even though Ranma didn't seem to be phased. Once the shirt was off Ranma reached for the clasp on the bra, only to be shocked with a few thousand volts of electricity when her finger came in contact with the clasp. This left Ranma unconscious on the floor, electricity continuing to flow around her, singing her skin.

"What happened?" Akane wondered, reaching for the clasp herself. She stopped when it shocked her lightly a few inches from it. "It won't come off?" A moment later she realized that Ranma was in serious danger if the bra wasn't removed, so she ran off to the Cat Cafe to get Cologne.

Well, she tried to anyway. She ran into Cologne in the doorway.

"What do we have here?" Cologne asked, poking the clasp of the bra with her cane. As soon as she did so the electricity stopped flowing. "While stopping the power flowing through Ranma's body was easy enough, the bra will not be easily removed. It is obvious females cannot remove it, and males may have the same problem."

"Only girls wear bras, right?" Nabiki asked, walking into the room.

"Your point?" Akane asked, looking at Nabiki.

"Well then," Nabiki said, dumping hot water on Ranma. "Now that Ranma is a guy, he can take it off."

"Then lets try that," Ranma said, going into the bathroom to use the mirror. A minute later he walked out and handed the bra to Cologne.

"What do you expect me to do with this?" Cologne asked, looking at Ranma.

"Keep it away from the freak," Ranma answered.

Meanwhile, what the hell is MM up to?

"CAN'T I TAKE A BATH IN PEACE?" MM yelled, slamming the bathroom door.

Fifteen minutes later

"You ready Nadeshiko?" MM called, putting on a traveling cloak.

"Aren't you going to put on a traveling cloak?" Nadeshiko asked, walking into the room.

"This is a traveling cloak," MM replied.

"Looks just like your normal cloak," Nadeshiko responded. "Can we go see Totosai now?"

"Yes," MM said as he opened the door. "We have to pick up Washu on the way though."

"Leave it to you to go overkill," Nadeshiko said. "I don't suppose you could give me a physical form when we get to Totosai?"

"Sorry, but that particular world isn't conducive to that without being linked to a massive shift such as that RPG created," MM said, pointing to a chart that appeared for the occasion.

"Oh well," Nadeshiko sighed. "Lets get going. At least I can appear as a spirit with a visible form."

WOA, Sonic just found the shop! What else did we miss?

"You missed me entering and wandering around for ten minutes," Sonic yelled, continuing his wandering.

"No need to yell," the old man behind the counter said. "And did you want me to call you Sonic or Joe?"

"I don't even want to know how you knew to ask that," Sonic said, continuing his wandering. "Or why your aura feels so much like Kalshion's," he then thought to himself. It was then that he came to the Jusenkyo aisle, and he caught sight of a single box.

"Wouldn't you prefer the permanent variety?" the old man said, suddenly behind Sonic.

"I am not THAT mean," Sonic said. "But a box of ten one-time Jusenkyo spring of drowned boy packets could come in handy. How much?"

"Two crystallized black holes and a galactic pendant," the old man said with a sneer.

"Here you go," Sonic said, pulling them out of his pocket. "I don't want to know how you knew I had them or that I would give them up. Cya."

"Interesting shop," Rose said as Sonic was walking out of Curses R Us. He had put the packets in his pockets before he walked out the door, so Rose didn't see them.

"Very," Sonic said, hoping that Rose didn't notice the packets. "Nothing I trust in there though, even if the old coot isn't running it."

"He isn't running it?" Rose said, a grin appearing on her face. "I might as well take a look then." With that she walked into the shop. No sooner did she walk in, from Sonic's point of view, did she walk out again, holding a small device that looked like a calculator.

"Tell me about it later," Sonic said, watching the store vanish. "Somehow, I get the feeling that we will have to deal with some of the other items from that shop soon."

"Oh all right," Rose said, happier then usual. "Suppose we should start with Nabiki?"

"What are you talking about?" Sonic asked, looking at Rose funny.

"She used a camera device from the shop," Rose said, holding up the remote Nabiki had gotten with the camera. "It turned her into a fly, basically," she continued, holding up a small jar with a fly in it.

"And you didn't turn her back right away?" Sonic asked, shocked.

"I was in a bad mood," Rose said, grinning. She then threw the jar into the pond at the Tendo residence, where the jar dissolved in the water just as Rose took the camera out of peep mode. The remote vanished as Nabiki was restored, unsure as to what the hell had been going on with her for the past hour.

"Not bad, hitting the pond from across town," Sonic said, smiling slightly. "Not bad using a water soluble jar, either. Who's next?"

"Dunno, lets go find out," Rose said as the two changed into Joe and Emeral and walked off.

Meanwhile, Akane is out looking for a cookbook

"Half these shops won't even let me in to look at the cookbooks," Akane grumbled. She wasn't even looking to buy a cookbook for herself, but for Kasumi, which caused her to be more pissed off at comments about her cooking skills then usual. It was during her grumbling that she bumped into Tommy, who was walking out of a store with a new boom box.

"Sorry," Tommy said, knowing how Akane could get when angry. "Didn't see you there."

"It's ok," Akane replied. "Cya." With that Akane walked into the shop Tommy had just walked out of, without noticing that the sign said Curses R Us.

"How may I help you Akane?" the old man asked. Akane didn't even flinch at his calling her by name. "Perhaps you would like a cookbook?"

"Yes, please," Akane replied, slightly shocked that the man knew what she wanted.

"Try aisle five thousand, three hundred fifty-four," the man said, gesturing at a door next to the counter. Above the door was a sign reading "Aisles 21-11,000."

"Aisle FIVE THOUSAND, THREE HUNDRED, FIFTY-FOUR?" Akane yelled, fainting.

"Here," the old man said when Akane woke up ten minutes later. "I grabbed a dessert cookbook for you. On the house."

"Thanks," Akane said, leaving. "How did he know Kasumi wanted a dessert cookbook?" she thought afterwards. Not long after Kasumi was looking through the cookbook, unaware of what the concoctions she could make with it would do.

"Stores that vanish?" Ryoga said, watching Curses R Us vanish. "What year is this anyway?"

"Seems the town was jumped to the year 2000 by a temporal shockwave earlier this month," someone responded.

Well, MM has dragged Nadeshiko and Washu to see Totosai. What are they up to?

"You want me to make a sword out of a single fang of yours, a device of hers, and energy taken from your own body by that spirit?" Totosai asked, shaking his head. "That wouldn't do any good at all."

"The device in question would be the handle," Washu said, knowing that it would take a bit to convince Totosai. "The energy would power the device and keep the blade charged."

"You don't understand," Totosai interrupted. "This sword of yours sounds interesting, but the fang you mentioned doesn't exist."

"Oh, sorry," MM said, growing a fang the size of a sword. "Will this do?"

"Ok," Totosai replied. "You have a deal. That kind of transformative power in the fang will pose a challenge to me in making the sword."

"Don't forget the energy," Nadeshiko said, ripping four small balls of energy from MM, combining them into a single ball, and crystallizing it.

"And here is some food for ya," MM said, handing Totosai a large bag of food. "Push the red button over there on the wall when you are done. That will allow you to cross the standard barriers between here and where I will be."

"Will do," Totosai said as MM, Nadeshiko, and Washu left.

Sounds dangerous. Then again, so is Shampoo in Curses R Us. Lets go check that out

"This necklace will make you more attractive to Ranma," the old man told Shampoo, holding out a necklace. "Only one bowl of Ramen, I am hungry!"

"Sound good," Shampoo said, handing over the bowl of Ramen she had with her and taking the necklace. "Now to find Ranma," she said, putting the necklace in her pocket. With that Shampoo turned around and knocked half the shelves in the front of the store over, causing a few dozen packages to fall on her. She didn't notice one of the aura shards MM had collected falling into her pocket with the necklace, and as such, did not notice the shard merging with the necklace. She apologized, was shoved out of the store by the old man, and went on her way, slightly annoyed. The old man decided that it was a perfect time to close up for the day, as Shampoo had broken the auto-cleaning spell in the process.

Kia, predictably, is still working on the puzzle

"Damnit," Kia said, trying to tell two cubes apart. "If I had a soul I would sell it just to figure this damn thing out."

"I think I will be going now," Tatewaki Kuno said, struggling to stand. His skin pale, his eyes wide, he barely made it out the door.

"Thanks for the blood Kuno," Kia called, picking up the vat of blood soup she had made. "Too bad you had to cancel that date though. I hope you recover before your next fight."