CmptrWz

Chapter 28
The Second Fortress
Ranma RPG: The mini-musical?

The gang is walking through the forest, participating in several dozen battles during their trip, when they start to hear some music. Figuring it is just some background music they continue on, hoping that the music means they are getting closer to their next goal. The music does have a good beat, though, and soon they find themselves half-dancing to it as they move along. They go along like this for a couple of minutes before they come to a large clearing, the music suddenly stopping for a second. New, softer, calmer music starts just before they hear a female singing, unable to pinpoint where the voice is coming from, and not bothering to look very hard at the moment.

Do you ever question your life
Do you ever wonder why
Do you ever see in your dreams
All the castles in the sky

The music continues, the voice silent for a moment, before continuing to sing.

Oh tell me why
Do we build castles in the sky

Oh tell me why
All the castles way up high

Please tell me why
Do we build castles in the sky

Oh tell me why
All the castles way up high

The voice dies off again as the music gets less soothing and has more of a beat for a couple minutes, the gang getting back into their half-dance as they stand there. The voice then came back, the beat dieing off again.

Oh tell me why
Do we build castles in the sky

Oh tell me why
All the castles way up high

Please tell me why
Do we build castles in the sky

Oh tell me why
All the castles way up high

The beat came back again as the voice died off again, the gang starting to wonder if this was going to go on as long as they were here. They now felt compelled to stay and listen though, getting back into their half-dance as the beat droned on. After a couple minutes or so had passed the music died off, leaving them in silence.

"So," Rose spoke up, "what do you think that was about?"

"Well," Sonic said, pausing for a second. "We were supposed to come to a large clearing, and something like that seems like this one would qualify."

"That didn't answer my question," said Rose, a bit peeved.

Katarina suddenly gasped, causing everyone to stop for a moment. "Guys," Katarina finally spoke up, sounding a little shaken up. "I think I know what the song meant."

Everyone turned to look at Katarina, who was staring at the sky above the clearing. Everyone turned to look at what she was looking at, most of them also gasping as they saw the sky. A sinister double spiral of castles spun their way into the sky, leading to a large castle at the top that dwarfed the rest. Connecting tubes and tunnels connected the castles as they went up, creating a veritable maze to reach the top, with no apparent way INTO the spiral. The lowest of the castles also had visible gun spires sitting on them, scanning the field for things to shoot at. Since the group had never stepped into the field they had not been seen. Had they gone a few more feet they might have been badly injured, or worse, cursed.

Of course, Tommy's head chose this moment to explode, throwing his gyrocopter out of control and causing it, and him, to crash right in the middle of the field. Within moments it looked like someone had used Command on a lightning storm as dozens of gun spires attacked Tommy and his gyrocopter. By the time they stopped firing the gyrocopter was no more, there wasn't even enough to identify that it had ever existed. Tommy, on the other hand, had been infused with enough curse energy to cause him to glow an electric blue as he got up, his head having returned to normal. No one realized that he could now stand, as before they had a chance to a small explosion came from Tommy. Everyone else had to avert their eyes as a bright light filled t he field, so they didn't notice the energy spinning around Tommy faster and faster, finally shrinking down to encase his body in pure curse energy.

In hundreds of thousands of homes in the Matrix

The Ranma RPG had hit the #1 show in viewer counts across the Matrix, mainly because no one else could seem to broadcast aside it and partially because no one cared to try. As the energy swirled around Tommy a window appeared in front of each person watching.

"Thank you for watching Ranma RPG. We want YOUR opinion! What should happen to Tommy?

A) Killed
B) Turned into a Little Boy
C) Turned into a Little Girl
D) Turned into an inanimate doll
E) Turned into a Princess to join Ranma and Akane"

As the hundreds of thousands of people made their choices an interactive vote count and percentage meter showed on every screen, the values fluctuating greatly. Finally each choice leveled off at 20%, all having the exact same vote count. A remaining votes count showed that one person in the Matrix still hadn't voted, and everyone watching was on the edge of their seat to find out what they would choose.

In the Matrix Authority Headquarters

"Killing is too good for him," said the Purple Blob. "Being given back his youth seems too kind as well......even if he is forced to do it as a girl......."

"WOULD YOU MAKE UP YOUR MIND?" shouted fifty or so people that had crowded into the room to watch the show on the ultra-high definition movie theatre size screen.

The Purple Blob ignored them, and continued pondering. "I don't want to give Ranma and Akane that kind of torture, and I want him to suffer........"

Fifty or so eyes glared at the Purple Blob as he thought.

"Hmmmmmm," the Purple Blob hummed. Finally making motions of counting the buttons. Finally he came to rest and pushed one of the buttons, causing one of the bars to increase in vote count by 1, no change in percentage noted. No one saw which bar it was, however, as it vanished instantly as the change started.

Back in the field

The gang had resorted to playing a game of poker while they waited for Tommy to finish getting cursed so that they could get going. To everyone's surprise Rose and Jaime were winning, mostly because when they held their cards no one could see their faces. Of course, no one could figure HOW they held the cards, but that was beside the point, beyond causing a slight distraction for the rest of the group. Cologne was, however, running a close third, probably due to having no facial expressions to speak of. Finally another burst of energy pulsed from Tommy as his change started, the form that had gone from standing to sitting to leaning on one energy-encased arm while laying on the ground starting to shrink. After a few minutes(and another round of poker) the energy pulled itself back, appearing to be clothing one second and becoming clothing the next.

At the old (wo)man's mirror

"Interesting choice," the old man commented. Or rather, the old woman commented, given that MM was currently in a female form per a recent request of Nadesiko.

"So," Nadesiko said. "What would you have done if they had voted to kill him?"

"Killed him, of course," the old woman said with a smirk. "Of course, that doesn't mean he wouldn't have been around."

"I suppose that is true," Nadesiko responded. "I suppose Katarina is dead too."

"As close as you get in this game," the old woman replied.

Back in the field

Everyone in the group stared at what stood up in the center of the field, before it started to walk over to the group. Tommy had apparently been transformed into a young girl carrying enough guns and ammo to take out an army, and was struggling under all the weight. Finally making it to the group, she fell to her knees.

"What are you all staring at?" the g irl said. A split second later she was frozen in an expression of shock, realizing what her voice sounded like. Pulling a gun off of her back, struggling to hold it, she looked at her reflection. The resulting scream drove animals crazy for miles, blew out most glass within a mile, and caused all the gun spires on the lower castles to blow up.

"Look on the bright side," said Rose, rubbing her ears. "You can walk, hold weapons, and you don't have to worry about your head exploding."

"The BRIGHT SIDE?" yelled the girl. "I AM A F'ING GIRL!" She continued yelling about everything she was supposed to be until Emily pulled out her mallet and used it as an anesthetic.

"Where is MM when you need him?" Sonic pondered. "He did wonders for Jaime."

"I have conflicting feelings about this," Hikeya said. "I like having someone my age around, but she is not someone I want around."

Sighing, the group picked the girl up, not knowing what to call her at this point, and carried her into the field, finding a small pedestal on the other side that brought them up to one of the lower castles.

Upon entering the castle the group was confronted with a room full of doors, with a pedestal just inside the door they entered through. Above each door was a different symbol, each one matched by a marking on the pedestal. Upon closer examination of the pedestal the group found a single button.

"Ok," said Rose. "Who's turn is it to press the button? I already pressed one."

"I took one as well," said Sonic. "So who is next?"

After a few minutes of squabbling they decided to play three rounds of poker to determine the next person to press the button, Sonic and Rose keeping score. Tommy, of course, was also exempt from playing due to being unconscious. Those playing, knowing fully what had happened when Sonic had pressed his button, were ferocious in their tactics. In the end, however, Ryoga and Hikeya tied in last place, both being a tad too emotional for such a strenuous game of poker. Hikeya volunteered to press the button, but in the end Ryoga had to press it because it turned out Hikeya couldn't reach it.

As Ryoga reached to press the button, even though he did it quickly, the entire group backed off. Upon pressing the button Ryoga jumped back, to be rewarded with a simple beep and a display on the pedestal coming on.

"Why can't anyone ELSE get shocked?" mumbled Sonic in a slightly grumpy way. As a result everyone took a few seconds to stare at him, Jaime sitting on Emily's shoulder and Rose landing on the pedestal. During this few seconds, however, no one had noticed the countdown on the pedestal. Rose did, however, notice that Sonic was standing on a small circle.

"Hey Sonic," she started. "What is with that circle you are standing in?"

Sonic bent down to examine the circle, not knowing if he should step off. "I don't know, but there is some rubber around it. Do we want to know what would happen if I stepped off it?"

"Good question," said Jaime, moments before the pedestal beeped again.

"AAAAAAHHH," screamed Rose as she slipped, not having expected the beep. She fell to the floor and started rubbing her wing, which she had landed on. "That smarted," she then whined. Meanwhile, the pedestal had been beeping in one-second intervals, and the counter had been counting down from 9. Before anyone could say anything in response to the value on the timer it hit zero, and the room was filled with a bright light.

In hundreds of thousands of homes in the Matrix

As all the people in the Matrix watched the RPG they found that their own rooms filled with the same bright light that plagued those in the RPG. No one could see what was happening, aside from MM and Nadesiko, who were the only ones watching through MM's special filter that prevented this kind of thing from happening.

Everywhere the light had penetrated

The light started to fade, quickly vanishing. Those that had been engulfed by it would have said something, but as they currently appeared to be charred to a crisp they didn't have much to say. In fact, the only one left untouched by the light, that had been engulfed by it, was Sonic.

"Ok," said Sonic. "For future reference, this circle was a GOOD thing!" He didn't realize how many people watching at home were annoyed, nor that those watching had just been given a choice.

"Ok everybody," came a voice as the action seemed to pause. "There is a choice to be made here. Do we punish him for that comment, or leave him alone?" Two boxes had popped up in front of everyone as all but two of them shook off the effects of the light. One read "Punish", the other "Spare". Exactly five and a quarter seconds later a near unanimous vote had been cast. Only two people had voted to Spare Sonic, and therefore another vote appeared. "Punish those that voted to spare?" This one had the same options as the last, and only appeared to those that had not voted Spare on the first vote. This one was unanimous in the Punish category.

As the show resumed a barrier appeared around the circle Sonic was standing on. "What the..." was all he said before a blinding light filled the barrier, engulfing Sonic. When the light cleared Sonic didn't feel any different, but half the group fell over laughing looking at him. Well, half the group and a good portion of the matrix. By the time anyone started to calm down Sonic had discovered his now Feminine looking attire and hairstyle on his masculine frame. He shrugged it off, having had weirder things happen to him(especially recently). The group soon got themselves together enough to try and decide what they should do next.

Back with the old woman and Nadesiko

"You know," the old woman noted. "Maybe I shouldn't have put that part in."

"No duh," said Nadesiko, but she didn't sound like she meant it. In fact, she sounded like she was saying it because she was expected to say it.

If you haven't figured it out by now, the old woman and Nadesiko were the two that voted to spare Sonic for his comment, and were therefore voted for punishment. As a result they had been hit by a light when Sonic had been hit, although with slightly different results. Instead of having their clothes change from female to male(given that they are both female) they changed into baby-style clothes.

The old woman wasted no time in throwing off the changes and returning to normal. She knew it was fully in Nadesiko's power to do the same, but for some reason Nadesiko hadn't. Little did the old woman know that Nadesiko was actually more comfortable in the chair she was sitting in with the padded diaper on then without it. That, and she wasn't about to admit it. She had decided to pretend to either not care about removing it or to have forgotten how to, and intended to leave it at that, for now. The old woman wasn't about to push it either.

Back to the group

"So, ummm," Sonic was saying, trying to decide what to call the new Tommy.

"I think what Sonic here is trying to say," Rose interrupted, "is that to start off with we don't want to be calling a young girl like yourself 'Tommy'."

"But that is my name," the girl said, seemingly in a bit better mood then before as she went through her guns and discarded most of them, keeping ten guns in pairs of two.

"It doesn't fit anymore," said Jaime. "I used to be Jeremy, so I should know."

The young girl looked at Jaime for a few seconds. Finally, she responded. "Ok, I guess you are right." She then started thinking about a new name, running through dozens of possibilities and rejecting most of them, until she had decided. "Call me Lindsay."

"Lindsay, Lindsay," muttered Rose. "I don't know if I will be able to remember that."

"You better," the young girl said with a slightly angry tone.

"Just for that," Rose sai d, "I won't be calling you Lindsay."

"Oh yea," the young girl responded. "Then what ARE you going to call me?"

"Hmmmmm, good question," Rose answered, thinking.

"How about Tokaiko," Cologne joked.

Rose's face, and glow, lit up considerably as she flew down in front of the young girl, touching the girl's nose as she started speaking. "Tokaiko. Doesn't that sound sooooo cute?"

"I said I want to be called Lindsay," the young girl responded.

"But Tokaiko is so much CUTER," Rose whined.

"I agree with Rose," Emily responded.

"I was only kidding," Cologne said, "but it does fit."

"Yea," Hikeya joined in. "Face it, TOKAIKO, you have lost this argument, and now have a cute name." Hikeya and Rose both stuck their tongues out at the same time, without realizing it until afterwards.

"Not that I want to complain or anything," Sonic said, "but we really should figure out which way to go."

"Third door to the left of the center," Ryoga said, somewhat absent-mindedly.

"You know Sonic," Jaime said. "You are taking your change without a lot of fuss."

"I never know what I am going to look like next," Sonic responded, shrugging. "So I don't really care what I look like now."

"Besides," Rose interrupted with a smirk. "Sonic isn't afraid of his feminine side."

"Ok then," Sonic said, some color appearing in his cheeks. "Now that we have that settled, lets go."

The group headed to the aforementioned door, with Ryoga in the lead, and went down the hall. No one had paid attention to the symbol over the door, which happened to look like a beer mug. In a similar manner, none of them noticed the gate close over the door after they had gone through, preventing them from going backwards. As they went through they came to several intersections and Ryoga chose a direction without really thinking about it each time. They had to fight a few battles, nothing that Ryoga and Sonic couldn't handle on their own. Eventually they came to an intersection, and Ryoga stopped in his tracks. A second later there was a pile of people on the floor with a Fairy and a Pixie floating above them. After a few minutes everyone was back on their feet.

"Why did you stop," called Hikeya, who had been bringing up the rear to catch stragglers.

"I wasn't sure which way I should go," replied Ryoga. "I was kind of surprised."

Hikeya forced her way to the front, and stared at the three paths that lay before the group. "You know," she finally said. "I don't know which way to go either, but perhaps it would be easier if someone pushed the button there on the floor."

"Ok Hikeya," said Emily. "Since you were too short to push the last one it would be your turn to push this one, as you can reach it."

"Unless Tokaiko wants to push it," Jaime added.

"CALL ME LINDSAY!" yelled Tokaiko.

"Sorry Tokaiko, the group has spoken," came a voice, seemingly from nowhere. Even Nadesiko was surprised at it, as it hadn't been MM or herself. She figured MM must have put someone else in control somewhere.

"Rasafrasn narrator," grumbled Tokaiko, not knowing how she knew it was the narrator that had spoken.

"I would watch it if I were you," came the voice again, and Tokaiko shut up. Hikeya, seeing that Tokaiko was in no mood to push the button, took a couple of steps and stomped on it. No sooner had she done so then she regretted it as she was sucked up into the ceiling.

"That’s what we need to do," Ryoga then said, as if a light had come on in his head. The group crowded around the button as Ryoga stepped on it again, and the rest of them were sucked up. They all landed next to Hikeya, who had apparently been expecting their arrival and was standing off to the side.

"Unfortunately, I still don't know where to go," Hikeya responded, looking amused.

"Ok then," said Cologne. "Where is the music?"

" The music?" Katarina asked, but soon had her question answered as some music started playing. No sooner did it start then the group was chasing after it. Not long after it started someone started singing.

Gonna dive into a dive
I've dove into before
Gonna haunt a haunt I've haunted
Like a million times or more
A familiar joint
Where getting drunk's the only point
To frequent this place
With any frequency at all
Countin' on a remedy
I've counted on before
Goin' with a cure that's never failed me
What you call the disease,
I call the remedy
What you're callin' the cause,
I call the cure
Gonna sing a song, a song to you
A song I've sung before
Belt out a ballad that I've belted out
A million times or more
The words I'm gonna scream
And getting drunk's the central theme
to the lyrics, if you can
make the lyrics out at all
Countin' on a remedy
I've counted on before
Goin' with a cure that's never failed me
What you call the disease,
I call the remedy
What you're callin' the cause,
I call the cure
Just a devotion to a potion
Please no applause
A dedication to a medication
A crutch a cure a cause
What I've counted on to pick me up
Has knocked me to my knees
Before I hit the floor once more
I'll call it the disease

As the song finished the group arrived at an American West style double-swinging door. Tokaiko, who had finally resigned herself to that name, recognized it immediately.

"A BAR!" she yelled, pulled out a shotgun, and ran in without much more heed. After a moment the group heard some yelling, and thus walked in to find Tokaiko yelling at the bartender. "GIMME SOMETHING TO DRINK!"

"No," the bartender flatly responded. "You are too young. Unless you can prove to me that you can handle it I can't give you anything."

Tokaiko looked around the bar, then grimaced. "Ok then," she said, walking over to the jukebox. She kicked it hard, got it to light up, and selected a song. Before hitting play she stopped, and concentrated really hard. After a moment she grew, turning into Tommy. The bartender wasn't impressed, as she had pulled this trick when she first came in and he saw it as an illusion she was using. It was, however, an obvious strain for Tommy to keep his male form, but he still hit play and burst into song, the other patrons in the bar chanting "Beer" every so often.

Oh... what is the malted liquor?
What gets you drunker quicker?
What comes in bottles or in cans? (Beer)
Can't get enough of it (Beer)
How we really love it (Beer)
Makes me think I'm a man (Beer)
I could kiss and hug it (Beer)
But I'd rather chug it (Beer)
Got my belly up to here (Beer)
I could not refuse a (Beer)
I could really use a beer, beer, beer

One of the patrons then chanted for a minute.

Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer

Followed by a young man and his father doing a duet of sorts.

Young Man: I can't remember how much I have had
I drank a twelve-pack with my dad (BURP!)
Father: That's my son the drunken manly stud
I'm proud to be his bud
Young Man: Here have some pretzels
Father: No, I'll call it quits
Those things give me the shlits

All the patrons, plus Tommy, laughed at this, before they got back to the song.

All: Drink with your family
Drink it with your friends

Tommy, with occasional joining in:
Drink till your fat, stomach distends
Beer is liquid bread, it's good for you
We like to drink till we spew! Ew!
Who cares if we get fat?

Someone decided to yell out at this point: I'll drink to that

As we sing once more...

What is the malted liquor?
What gets you drunken quicker?
What comes in bot tles or in cans? (Beer)
Can't get enough of it (Beer)
How we really love it (Beer)
Makes me think I'm a man (Beer)
I could kiss and hug it (Beer)
But I'd rather chug it (Beer)
Got my belly up to here (Beer)
Golly, I adore it! (Beer)
Come on dammit, pour it!
Do it for me, brew it for me
Feed it to me, speed it to me (Beer)
The most wonderful drink in the world
HOORAY!!!

Followed by a rather husky man letting out a loud BURP!

"How was that," replied Tokaiko, having lost the battle to stay Tommy as soon as the song had ended.

"Ok, you win," the Bartender replied. "What will you have?"

"Hmmmm," Tokaiko mumbled. "I want a b...b...b..."

"Come on," the Bartender said. "Spit it out. I don't have all century."

"NOOOOOOOO!" Tokaiko yelled. "I can't order it!"

"Must be part of your curse," Kalshion noted. "The thing is insane. Yours alone drove me to drink." Kalshion punctuated this with downing a large mug of beer he had ordered during the song.

"Kalshion!" yelled Katarina, noticing his drink for the first time.

"Don't yell at me," replied Kalshion. "It isn't like the machine part of me will let me get drunk anyway."

"Move over," mumbled Ryoga. Kalshion did so and Ryoga took a seat, downing a mug of beer of his own.

The rest of the group just watched, as Tokaiko was on the verge of tears, Kalshion and Ryoga had their beers, and Katarina started back into Kalshion about his drinking. Kalshion shut her up by grabbing her and pouring some down her throat, which took everyone by surprise as they didn't think you could just grab a spirit, nor give them something solid. The effect was, however, immediate, and Katarina was soon floating next to the bar with a mug of her own.

"Must be something about their curses," Cologne finally commented. "I don't think they would normally act that way."

Hikeya, never having heard of beer before, was curious. She went up to the bar, sat down next to Ryoga, and ordered one.

"What makes you think I will give you a beer little lady?" the Bartender asked.

"I'm with her," Hikeya said, thumbing in the general direction of Tokaiko.

"Good enough for me," the Bartender responded. Tokaiko actually went over to the corner and started beating the walls as Hikeya was handed her beer. She sipped it, finished off half of it, and then went over to Tokaiko.

"You want the other half?" Hikeya asked.

Tokaiko looked at Hikeya before stammering, "Y...Y...Y..." Tokaiko, realizing she still couldn't do anything about asking for a beer, tried to just take it from Hikeya, finding that she couldn't bring herself to touch the mug. Hikeya saw this, realized it was a futile attempt, so she walked back to the bar, downed the rest of the beer, and ordered another one.

Tokaiko, realizing that she couldn't have any alcohol as long as she was cursed, pulled out two P90s and started shooting up the place as music started playing in the background.

Trigger Happy, trigger happy
Got an AK-47, well you know it makes me feel all right
Got an Uzi by my pillow, helps me sleep a little better at night
There's no feeling any greater
Than to shoot first and ask questions later
Now I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day

Well you can't take my guns away, I got a
Constitutional right
Yeah, I gotta be ready if the commies attack us tonight
I'll blow their brains out with my Smith and Wesson
That out to teach 'em all a darn good lesson
Now I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day

Oh yeah, I'm trigger, trigger happy
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy
(Oh baby, I'm) trigger, trigger happy
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy
(Oh, I'm so) trigger, trigger happy
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy
Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have
To blow you away

Oh, I a ccidentally shot Daddy last night in the den
I mistook him in the dark for a drug-crazed Nazi again
Now why'd you have to get so mad?
It's just a lousy flesh wound, Dad
You know I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day

Oh, I still haven't figured out the safety on my rifle yet
Little Fluffy took a round, better take him to the vet
I filled that kitty cat so full of lead
We'll have to use him for a pencil instead
Well, I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day

Oh yeah, I'm trigger, trigger happy
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy
(Oh baby, I'm) trigger, trigger happy
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy
(Oh, I'm so) trigger, trigger happy
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy
Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have
To blow you away

Come on and grab your ammo
What have you got to lose?
We'll all get liquored up
And shoot at anything that moves

Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight
Oh, I'm prayin' somebody tries to break in here tonight
I alwaays keep a Magnum in my trunk
You better ask yourself, do you feel lucky, punk?
Because I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day

Oh yeah, I'm trigger, trigger happy
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy
(Oh baby, I'm) trigger, trigger happy
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy
(Oh, I'm so) trigger, trigger happy
Yes, I'm trigger, trigger happy
Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have
To blow you away

Bottles, mugs, pictures, etc. were hit throughout the song, and a few minutes after the song had finished and Tokaiko had run out of ammo in both P90s she finally calmed down.

"Nice job little lady," the Bartender said. "You didn't hit anyone. I am still kicking you and your friends out, though." With that he pulled a lever that caused the group to be tossed out the bar, the door of which was sealed by a grate.

As everyone continued on, no longer trusting Hikeya or Ryoga to lead as they were both starting to show the results of their drinking, Hikeya much worse then Ryoga, they started to find people passed out in the corridor.

"Don't suppose they overdid it on the beer?" Sonic commented.

"Maybe (hic)," replied Katarina. "I think I (hic) did."

"How did you in the first place?" wondered Rose.

"She'll be fine," Kalshion responded, showing no sign that he had drunken anything.

"Look at all the pretty colors," Hikeya said, obviously not following the conversation. This was made more obvious when she collapsed, sleeping.

"I'll get her," Kalshion responded, picking up Hikeya. "She must not have had alcohol before. Bet she won't again for a while, either."

"Give me Hikeya," Sonic said to Kalshion, taking Hikeya from him. "I think you have a better chance of carrying Ryoga."

Kalshion looked back at Ryoga, not surprisingly fast asleep. "Good point."

"What (hic) about me?" Katarina asked.

"Your drunken state isn't even physically possible," Cologne said. "Who knows what will happen."

"Cool," said Katarina, obviously too drunk to care.

"Note to self," Rose said. "Beer in this game obviously has something in it that makes it near impossible to drink without getting drunk to the point of collapse."

"I think you are right," said Sonic. "But Tokaiko still isn't happy about it."

"You got that right buster," said Tokaiko, her tone of voice sounding anything but young, sweet, or innocent. As a giant bee came around the corner some battle music started. Before anyone, even the bee, could react Tokaiko had pulled out her M16 and blown the bee away. "Lets hurry this up. The sooner we finish this game the sooner I can get back to being me."

Three hours, six small castles, fifty-eight packs of ammo(luckily Tokaiko found that there was free ammo all over the place for some reason), and twenty-seven wrong turns lat er the group came to a large room. Several people in the room were just mulling about, until Tokaiko got impatient and fired her Pistol into the air. All the people suddenly spun as music started playing. They all joined in singing as the group watched.

Well take some nails and make a bed,
Place your hands above your head,
Cross your legs in a yoga stance,
Now you're doing the Cosmic Dance!

Let's get cosmic, let's get cosmic,
Everybody do the Cosmic Dance!

Take some sheet and make a rope,
Dance right over red-hot coals,
Dig out those empty halo pants,
Gonna need 'em for the Cosmic Dance!

Let's get cosmic, let's get cosmic,
Everybody do the Cosmic Dance,
Let's get cosmic, let's get cosmic,
Everybody do the Cosmic Dance!

Some music played for a moment, then they continued.

Come on!

Let's get cosmic, let's get cosmic,
Everybody do the Cosmic Dance!
Let's get cosmic, let's get cosmic,
Everybody do the Cosmic Dance!

Those that had been singing were now floating around the room in a yoga stance with their hands above their heads. Tokaiko just laughed, pulled out her Shotgun, and shot each of them down, not missing one. When she was done a bell rang and a nice bonnet appeared on Tokaiko's head. Tokaiko found she couldn't remove it, just as she couldn't take the beer earlier. "Figures," she mumbled, pushing on across the room through the door there. The rest of the group just followed her, not wanting to tick her off while she was trigger happy. They did notice that she started acting differently as time went on, though, like the bonnet was only part of something done to her.

Two days, eight hours, who knows how much ammo, and twenty-eight castles later

"Who knows how much ammo?" came the Narrator. "I know how much ammo, but I am not telling."

The group had finally made it to the second to last castle before the top, and some of the group was worried about several things. For starters, Hikeya and Ryoga were still in their drunken sleep, Katarina was still obviously drunk, and Tokaiko was starting to act like a little girl, right down to exchanging her somewhat neutral clothes she had started with for a dress matching her bonnet. She still, however, clung to the guns like her life depended on them, as trigger-happy as ever.

"Ok guys," Sonic said. "We have one more door before we get to the top. Everyone, conscious that is, ready?" Everyone nodded at Sonic, who opened the door and went through. The rest of the group followed, taken by surprise when a gate crashed down behind them. They were back in the room they had started in, having just come out of the center door. After putting down Hikeya, Sonic went over to the pedestal to see if they missed something important. All he found was a blank screen and no button, and two markings were missing, one for each door with a gate over it.

"I'm tired," Tokaiko said, sounding like she had always been a young girl. "Can I go to sleep now?"

"This room does seem safe enough," Cologne commented. "We should be able to rest here."

With that the group spread out and went to sleep. The next morning everyone seemed to lose the effects of the beer. Ryoga woke up, sober, while Katarina lost her signs of being drunk. Hikeya, while still asleep, was obviously no longer under the effects of the beer, her sleep now appearing to be the sleep of a worn out child. Katarina wasted no time in yelling at Kalshion for forcing her to drink some of the beer, leaving her in a drunken stupor for three days. Rose commented, yet again, that it should have been impossible for Katarina to have drunk the beer, let alone gotten drunk, so the beer must have been magic. The resulting scream fest was quickly halted by Sonic and Cologne who pointed out that the two young girls, Hikeya and Tokaiko, were still sleeping. Several members of the group made a note that Tokaiko would have looked like any other young girl that had fallen asleep while playing, if it weren't for the guns she clutched even in her sleep.

Meanwhile, the sun was rising in the Dragon world to start the third day of Ranma and Akane's captivity, and their second night sleeping together...

Ranma-chan slowly began to open his eyes and moved his right hand onto his eyes rubbing it. After he rubbed some sleep out of his eyes, he noticed something was on him to his left. He look to find Akane cuddled up on his side, sleeping like an Angel. Ranma began to freak at this, but tried not to move so he wouldn't disturb Akane.

Fortunately for Ranma, Akane was starting to wake up. She got off Ranma-chan and stretched with a soft yawn then looked at Ranma and smiled, "Good Morning Ranma" she said with a sweet smile.

Ranma's freak expression soon melted and he looked back with gentle eyes, "Good Morning, did you sleep well?"

Akane nodded, "Yes I did, and you?" she asked.

"I slept ok," he said getting out of bed, "Are you planning to take a bath?"

Akane smiled, "Yes, I plan to take a bath with you Ranma," she said with a sweet voice.

Ranma froze at this, "A-A-Akane!?!" he started to say.

"It's alright silly," she said, "We're both girls, and you can't change back for the moment..

With that, Akane got up and attempted to go to Ranma, thought she didn't get far. Ranma rushed over and aided her to where the bath was. "W-What the?" said Ranma as they got there.

"What's wrong?" asked Akane.

"The Bath is gone!" he replied.

"What do you mean, I feel warm steam," continued Akane.

"Yea, that's because there is a hot spring now!," said Ranma-chan.

"That's even better than a bath!" said Akane as she began to undress.

Ranma turned around soon afterward to find Akane nude, "A-Akane!" he screamed before Akane placed her finger on his lips.

"We're both girl's right now Ranma, lets just take our bath than have something to eat," she said feeling for the hot spring with her foot.

"Well, um..." started Ranma, but before he could think of what to say, Akane gave him a light push and he fell into the Hot spring, "What did you do that for!" yelled Ranma just as Akane walked into the spring.

"I just wanted you to hurry," said Akane sitting down relaxing in the hot spring.

A few minutes past before Ranma gave in and took his now wet clothes off and placed it on a rock to dry. Not soon after, Akane started to sing:

What a nice hot spring Ahaha What a nice hot spring Ahaha
Hot steam drops fall from the ceiling onto my back
Oh! It's so cold Ahaha Oh! It's so cold Ahaha
This is the Noboribetsu hot spring in northern Japan

Soon Ranma started to join Akane in singing

What a nice hot spring Ahaha What a nice hot spring Ahaha
Who is singing Yagibushi?
Good question Ahaha Good question Ahaha
This is the Kusatsu hot spring in Joushuu

What a nice hot spring Ahaha What a nice hot spring Ahaha
People's white silhouettes through the steam
Is that her? Ahaha Is that her? Ahaha
This is the Shirahama hot spring in Kishuu

What a nice hot spring Ahaha What a nice hot spring Ahaha
Since we're Japanese, let's do Naniwabushi
Shall we do it? Ahaha Shall we do it? Ahaha
This is the Beppu hot spring in southern Japan

Now both of them were singing their hearts out, having such a good time and laughing with each other, that both of them forgot everything else that was going on. It was truly a moment of bliss for both of them. A Chance where they could further their love between them.

"Well of course it's bliss!" said the narrator, with a voice different then the previous one. "They don't have their meddling parents or Nabiki snooping on them this time!"

Back at the Scion Fortres s....

Several hours later Hikeya and Tokaiko finally woke up. Nothing had been able to wake them up before this, so the rest of the group had prepared a breakfast and a battle plan for dealing with the fortress. So far they had eliminated two doors, and who knows how many more it would take before they finished. The overall decision had been to let Ryoga and Hikeya choose another door, that the group would then go through and hopefully make it to the top of the tower from.

Back with MM and Nadesiko

"So," the old woman said. "What do you think of the game so far?"

"Not bad," Nadesiko said. "Maybe I have underestimated your power, but that may remain to be seen. By the way, where is your bathroom?"

"Down the hall, third door on the left," the old woman responded.

"Thanks," Nadesiko responded. Of course, it didn't take her long to realize that the diaper was there for a reason other then the comfort she had left it on for. As soon as she stood up she lost control and dirtied the diaper, leaving an uncomfortable mess that she didn't want to sit down on. She also had an urge to bawl her eyes out until someone did something about it. Pulling herself together, Nadesiko called upon her power to remove the baby clothes, and found she couldn't.

"Oh," the old woman said. "You grew too accustomed to having that overlaid on yourself."

"So how do I get it off me?" Nadesiko asked, slightly annoyed and highly embarrassed at this point.

"Call upon your training," the old woman said, smirking at Nadesiko's discomfort.

Nadesiko closed her eyes, remembering all the weird things her training had put her through. Then it hit her, the best way to get rid of some things was to give into them completely. Let them rise to the surface, separating themselves, so that they can then be cast off. With this she let loose, wetting her diaper again, falling to the floor, and bawling her eyes out. The old woman saw that Nadesiko had lost control, however, and that she would keep on bawling until she either fell asleep or had her diaper changed. Not wanting a headache, the old woman changed Nadesiko's diaper. After which Nadesiko calmed down, and then the baby persona was cast off.

"I know you could have just removed that yourself," Nadesiko said.

"Yes," the old woman said. "But you wouldn't have learned anything if I had done that."

"I take it you are referring to the fact that I forgot to keep enough control to free myself," Nadesiko responded, a tad ashamed of her carelessness throughout the whole ordeal.

"Yep," the old woman said. "Care to get your mind off of it with some more of my game?"

"Yes, please," Nadesiko responded, falling into a chair next to the mirror.

Four hours later

The group stumbled through another door, a gate falling behind them to join the other three already in place. Along the way Tokaiko had changed her shoes, from the sneakers she had been wearing to dress shoes with frilly ankle socks and a set of anklets that she made sure Hikeya put on her, for some unknown reason. Had anyone who knew what happened to Ranma been around then they would have noticed that the anklets looked identical to the ones Ranma had been forced into by his mother.

Rose had decided to check Tokaiko's stats afterwards and found that all of her levels were on par with Sonic's, yet her class was simply "Child". Being confused at this, Rose had spent a while digging through the info page until she found a sub-class field, showing Tokaiko to have a sub-class of "Fighter". A quick check of the rest of the group showed that Hikeya was currently a "Child" with subclass of "Guide", while no one else had a subclass. While the others were discussing what to do, having eliminated only 4 doors, Rose checked through all the clothing everyone was wearing. Most of it was normal clothing, but she noticed a symbol denoting magic next to many a rticles. In particular, she noted that every piece of Tokaiko's clothing had some spell on it.

"Sonic," Rose whispered, having been sitting on Sonic's shoulder all along. "I think I know what is happening to Tokaiko."

"You do?" he whispered back. Neither of them noticed Kalshion paying attention to them, but they mainly didn't want Tokaiko to hear them.

"All of her clothing is magical in some way," Rose responded. "I think some of it is messing with her mind."

"It did start with that bonnet," Sonic responded. "And each time she found a new piece of clothing she seemed to regress further." Sonic hadn't realized that he was no longer whispering.

"Of course my clothing is affecting my mind," Tokaiko responded. "Imagine if it hadn't, I would still be that rude boy inside."

"You mean you KNEW what was happening to you?" Katarina said. Cologne had gone over to examine the clothing Tokaiko was wearing, not saying anything yet.

"Of course silly," Tokaiko said. "The bonnet started to bring me out, and I knew that if I got the boy that I used to be to wear the clothes that we found along the way that I would get more and more control over this body."

"So," Rose started, her voice betraying her intense curiosity and a bit of worry. "What did each piece of clothing do to you?"

"That's easy," Tokaiko said. "The bonnet let me start influencing the way this body acted. The dress started to push that Tommy person into the back of my mind, while the shoes and socks gave me total control."

"What about the anklets?" Cologne asked, examining them.

"Oh, those," Tokaiko responded. "They lock me the way I am, so I will never change back. The best part is they can only be removed by the person who put them on me, so even if that Tommy person pushes himself forward he can't take them off." Then, in an evil tone in her mind, "And once this RPG is over Hikeya won't be around to remove them."

"You mean that Tommy can't get his body back unless I remove those anklets?" Hikeya asked, slightly confused.

"Yes," replied Tokaiko, pulling out her shotgun. "That would be why I have to kill you."

"WHAT!" screamed most of the party, as Tokaiko took aim. They found that, for some reason, they couldn't bring themselves to stop her.

"This pendant," Tokaiko said, holding up a small pendant, "makes it so that you can't bring yourselves to stop me from doing whatever I want, right down to killing Hikeya." Tokaiko walked up to Hikeya, putting the end of the shotgun inches from Hikeya's face. Hikeya looked like she wanted to run, which she did, but she couldn't bring herself to move from the spot.

"No, please," Hikeya pleaded, on the verge of tears. "I don't want to die."

"Actually," Katarina interjected sympathetically, "it isn't all that bad once you get used to it."

"Lets see if Hikeya here thinks the same way," Tokaiko said, slowly pulling back the trigger. Suddenly she stopped, her finger pulling back from the trigger, as she seemed to be struggling with something. Finally, she dropped the shotgun, letting it fall to the floor, and grabbed her head. "No, you won't take control now, once I kill her this will be my body!"

As Tokaiko struggled with herself everyone else just watched. After several minutes something snapped and Tokaiko screamed, a bright light engulfing her body, but not her clothes. The anklets she was wearing started to glow, sparks flying between them, obviously under quite a bit of magical strain. As Tokaiko continued to scream she lifted off the ground, her shoes flying off of her feet, quickly followed by her socks. Soon her dress and undergarments followed, leaving a glowing girl wearing anklets, a pendant, and a bonnet floating in the middle of the room. Soon the pendant melted right off of her body, leaving the anklets and the bonnet. After a few minutes the bonnet started to glow, obviously trying to stay put, a small part of it glo wing more brightly then the rest. Sonic, Rose, Kalshion, and Katarina recognized the glow as a shard of the aura, wondering what would happen. Hikeya felt a familiar energy flowing from the shard, but her new form resisted it for some reason. Finally the bonnet flew off into the air, stopping in mid-air to change into a doll that Ranma and Akane would be sure to recognize, and that Ryoga thought looked familiar, the shard of the aura still in its body. "I'll be back" it screamed as it faded away.

Tokaiko finally stopped screaming, falling to the ground. The guys, as well as some of the girls, quickly turned around as Tokaiko stopped glowing. Hikeya quickly moved to take the anklets off as Cologne collected all the clothing that had been forced off of Tokaiko's body. Quickly checking each piece, Rose found that none of it seemed to be magical anymore. They felt it was safe to dress Tokaiko in the clothes until they found more that would fit her, and soon the entire group was sitting in a circle, letting Tokaiko sleep nearby.

"So," Hikeya finally spoke up. "What just happened, anyway?"

"I think Tommy revolted," Cologne responded.

"SWEEEEEEEEEEEETO!" came a voice from the entryway. Everyone froze at this.

"It can't be," Katarina said.

"Impossible," Kalshion added.

"Let me take care of this," Emily said, getting up and walking over to the entryway. No sooner had she done so then she was bowled over. "Why aren't you turning to stone you little pervert."

"Stone," came the little man attached to Emily's chest. "What are you talking about?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" cried Emily. "THIS ISN'T Happosai!" Three milliseconds later the pervert was flat against one of the grates with a large bump on his head, Emily holding a giant mallet.

"So," Jaime said, flying over to Emily. "Where did you get a solid mallet, instead of an energy mallet?"

"I don't know," Emily said as the mallet faded away. "Guess I never will, either."

"Ooooh," came the pervert's voice. "A sweet young lass sleeping, ready for the taking."

"Do we stop him?" asked Rose.

"I don't know," asked Sonic. "Does she deserve it or not?"

As the group got into a discussion as to whether or not they should stop the pervert he was walking over to Tokaiko. As he touched her, however, something happened. Both of them started to glow, both growing. When the glow faded the scene had changed, with an unconscious Tokaiko touching an unconscious Tommy. Tokaiko promptly fell over Tommy, and the group had no idea about what they should be doing.

"Can we get that doll back here?" Hikeya asked. "I would willingly swear to never remove the anklets if the new Tokaiko turns out to still be a pervert inside."

"I doubt it," Sonic responded. "Even if he was a pervert, it would be too much of a punishment, or potential reward, to lock him in the back of a girl's mind."

"Good point," Rose said. "Still, what do we do with those two?"

At this point Tokaiko woke up, looked down at herself, and squealed with delight. "Look at me, I am a girl. Now no one can stop me from playing with bras and panties!"

"That's it," Cologne said. "I can't take it anymore." She pulled out a small yellow card and stuck it to Tokaiko's forehead. Tokaiko and the card glowed, then vanished.

"What did you do?" Hikeya asked, confused.

"Go to jail card, I found it earlier," Cologne answered. "Should keep that pervert from doing much of anything, once a jail outfit is applied. Now, can we wake up the lunkhead and get going?"

"Who are you calling a lunkhead?" Tommy moaned as he got up. "And where am I?"

"You are in the second fortress, you lunkhead," Sonic said with a smirk. "Now, can we get going?"

Tommy looked around him, collected his guns(finding that he could only use guns, not anything else, according to his stats), and the group headed off int o the fortress again, following Hikeya with Ryoga taking up the rear this time.

Five days, three hours, 24 doors, 198 castles, and enough ammo to take on every army on the planet later

"Hmmmmm," the narrator said, the voice the same as the last time we dealt with ammo. "It was actually 199 castles, and they would have been one shot short on taking out every army on the planet, but close enough."

"Stop being a nitpicker," Nadesiko yelled at the mirror. To everyone but her and MM she sounded like another narrator, although she also didn't know her voice had been morphed so that no one would recognize it.

"Yea, can we get on with the story?" Tommy yelled.

"Ok, ok," the narrator said.

The group walked out of the 24th door, the gate closing behind them. They had gone through exactly half the doors in the room at this point, sometimes going around in more circles then they could count, having to backtrack when they came upon an already closed gate. This time, however, there was something wrong with the room. After a few minutes they realized that the door to the outside was closed, preventing their escape. Sonic rushed over the pedestal, noting the lack of symbols for all the closed doors while he read the text displayed.

Dear Intruders,

I got bored after day 1 of you trying to get to me, so I had a young woman kidnapped to make me something to eat. I then promptly forgot about the dish, and would like you to go get it so that I can eat it after I kill you.

-The boss

"Great," Sonic said as the message vanished. "I suppose that the symbol of a plate, fork, and knife would mark the door we need to go through for that."

"Probably," Cologne said. "Shall we get on with it? We have been here for a week already."

"Yea," Tommy said. "I am getting tired of this place. That, and I want that beer I never got."

With that the group continued on, moving through the fortress. It didn't take long before they heard some music, with a good starting beat. They followed it to its source even as singing started. They didn't pay attention to the lyrics, though, figuring they weren't important.

There's somethin' weird in the fridge today
I don't know what it is
Food I can't recognize
My roommate won't throw a thing away
I guess it's probably his
It looks like it's alive...
And livin' in the fride...livin' in the fridge
Livin' in the fridge...livin' in the fridge
There's somethin' gross in the fridge today
It's green and growin' hair
It's been there since July (ewww...)
If you can name the object in that baggie over there
Than mister, you're a better man than I
It's livin' in the fridge
You can't stop the mold from growin'
Livin' in the fridge
Can't tell what it is at all
Livin' in the fridge
You can't stop the mold from growin'
Livin' in the fridge
(Dysentary...dysentary)
Tell me, do you think it should be carbon dated
Fumigated or cremated and buried at sea? (Yeah!)
You try to save a little bit of your home cookin'
Couple weeks later, got a scary lookin' specimen
It always happens, my friend
Again & again & again & again
Somethin' stinks in the fridge today
And it's been rottin' there all week
It could liver cake or woolly mammoth steak
Well, maybe I should take another peek...
Aaaaaahh!!!
Livin' in the fridge
You can't stop the mold from growin'
Livin' in the fridge
Can't tell what it is at all
Livin' in the fridge
You can't stop the mold from growin'
Livin' in the fridge
(Dysentary...dysentary)
Livin' in the fridge
Don't know what it is, don't know what it is
Livin' in the fridge
Don't know what it is, don't know what it is
Livin' in the fridge
Don't know what it is at all
Livin' in the fridge, yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah y eah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

As the music faded the group found themselves in a large room with a small fridge. Sonic, weary of the ease of getting to it, forced Tommy to open the door. When Tommy did so he found himself face to face with what appeared to be a solid mass of mold.

"I think that dish went bad," Tommy said.

"What an understatement," came the narrator.

"Isn't this bad enough without your comments," Cologne yelled.

"Nope," came the narrator. "Wait about 10 seconds and it will be, though."

"You sure are vocal now," Sonic yelled, not realizing that five seconds had just been used up.

"All your getting lost bored me to death," the narrator said. "By the way, turn around."

The entire group, having been staring at the ceiling, turned back to the fridge to see a giant mold monster standing where the fridge was. They all jumped back, not sure what to do against mold.

"Lets burn it!" Tommy said, pulling out a match he had found at some point.

"Let me out of here!" came a familiar voice from inside the monster.

"Kasumi?" Cologne yelled.

"My cooking went all wrong and ate me," Kasumi said, obviously not in her right mind. Probably had something to do with having been eaten and all, or perhaps from having a good portion of her mind removed from her earlier. At any rate, she had obviously dropped her prim and proper exterior in favor of a somewhat freaked out exterior.

"Screw this," Tommy said, putting all his guns away and calling on a spell no one realized he had. A box appeared over his head, saying "NUCLEAR WINTER", dropping his MP/AP all the way to 0, taking out a good portion of his HP when his MP/AP ran out.

"NOOOOOOOOOO" everyone in the group, not to mention the monster, yelled, trying to stop Tommy. It was, however, too late as Tommy glowed, rose up into the air, put his hands out, and fired a blast at the monster.

Of course, everyone was shocked when, instead of an explosion capable of killing all but the most determined cockroach, hot soapy, fungicide came out. Seconds later the mold monster was reduced to a pool of green mush, with Kasumi standing in the middle of it. Tommy, for his part, was thrown back into the wall, his remaining HP taken away, causing him to collapse.

"Well," Kasumi said. "I have to be going now. I will see you later." With that she walked over to the wall, opened a hidden door, and left, the door closing behind her.

"How did she find out about that?" Katarina wondered.

"Don't worry about it," came the narrator. "Characters like that always know how to get around quickly without being hurt. No one quite knows why, though."

"Oh, ok," Katarina said.

"Now, if you don't mind," the narrator continued. "I would like to take a nap, so can you work on finishing this fortress so the next narrator can take over?"

"Oh all right," Sonic responded. "Lets get going."

Eight days, Six hours, yadda yadda later

The group, once again, was back in the room with the doors. They had eliminated most of the doors at this point.

"What," Sonic yelled. "No comment on the transition?"

"ZzZzZzZz," came the narrator's snoring.

"Oh great," Sonic mumbled. "Our narrator fell asleep."

"Ignore him," Rose said. "We have two doors left. One of them has to be the right door."

"The left door," Hikeya said.

"No, the right door," Ryoga contradicted.

Ryoga and Hikeya started fighting over which was the correct door, others throwing in their ideas until the argument had degraded into a screaming fit. Cologne, who had been watching from the side, finally got tired of the yelling and proceeded to knock each person off of the head, or entire body in the cases of Rose and Jaime.

"Why not take the easy way out?" Cologne said. "We split into two groups, each group taking a door. Hikeya can lead one group, Ryoga the other."

"Good idea," Sonic said, soon everyone agreed. They split into two groups, the members of which aren't important. They then went into the two doors, the gates falling as they did so.

Two hours later

Both groups fell through the ceiling of the room, landing in one big heap. All the doors were now locked, and they had nowhere to go.

"That is it," Hikeya said. "I am tired, so I am joining the narrator in going to bed." She then promptly did so. The others figured it couldn't hurt, so they did so as well. This resulted in mass confusion, as they all appeared to be awake still.

"What happened, wasn't I going to sleep?" Hikeya asked.

"Yes, you were," came the narrator. "Thanks for joining me. Now get on with the story."

"Huh?" Rose asked, confused.

"I imagine that if we joined the narrator," Sonic answered, "that we are all asleep, and dreaming."

"Oh, in that case," Rose said, pulling out a mallet. "Give me a second." With that she flew up to the top of the screen, grabbed the narrator, and crushed him with her mallet. She did this so quickly that no one saw what the narrator looked like before he became a pancake. Rose then tossed him back up to where he had been. "I feel better. Now, what are we supposed to be doing here?"

"I would have told you," squeaked the narrator as he pulled himself back into shape. "But after being flattened like a pancake I think I will just wake up, and leave you on your own."

"Figures," Sonic mumbled. "Wait, I know just who to ask." Sonic reached up towards the camera, put his hand in, felt around, and pulled out an old woman. "Hmmm, I was hoping for the old coot."

"Well you got me," the old woman said, sounding slightly annoyed. "Did any of you think about looking at your surroundings? I thought not."

The group then figured that it couldn't hurt, so they wandered around the area, finding it pretty much identical to when they had been awake. It was then that Katarina looked at the Pedestal.

"Hey guys," she called. "There is something weird here on the pedestal."

"Good job," the old woman said sarcastically. "Now, if you don't mind, I am leaving." With that she climbed back out through the camera.

Back in MM's living room

"Rude children," the old woman said, coming back out of her mirror.

"I thought it was quite appropriate," Nadesiko said, hiding a smile.

"You would, wouldn't you," the old woman said. "Maybe I should drop you into the game for a while."

"You know I would just break out," Nadesiko said, sticking out her tongue.

Back at the pedestal

"So, what does 'EYKIW' mean?" Jaime asked.

"It doesn't appear to be more then a random selection of letters," Cologne stated. "Must be an acronym."

"Yea, but for what?" Tommy asked.

"I don't know," Kalshion said. "But I intend to find out." With that he punched the entire pedestal, pushing it into the ground like a giant button. With that the entire room vanished, to be replaced by a car speeding down the highway. Music started playing, and then things got weirder as the surroundings changed to match the music.

I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane
With a rabid wolverine in my underwear
When suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat
Popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes

I guessed, "Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie?"
"Is it Bob or Joe or Walter?"
"Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?"
I probably would have kept on guessing
But about that time we crashed into the truck

And as I'm laying bleeding there on the asphalt
Finally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer
Who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me

Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is do wn and short is long
And everything you thought was just so
Important doesn't matter

Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong

I was walkin' to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams
When I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension
And soon I was abducted by some aliens from space
Who kinda looked like Jamie Farr

They sucked out my internal organs
And they took some polaroids
And said I was a darn good sport
And as a way of saying thank you
They offered to transport me back to
Any point in history that I would care to go

And so I had them send me back to last Thursday night
So I could pay my phone bill on time
Just then the floating disembodied head of
Colonel Sanders started yelling

Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you thought was just so
Important doesn't matter

Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong

I was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin
When I got a nasty papercut
And, well, to make a long story short
It got infected and I died

So now I'm up in heaven with St. Peter
By the pearly gates
And it's obvious he doesn't like
The Nehru jacket that I'm wearing
He tells me that they've got a dress code

Well, he lets me into heaven anyway
But I get the room next to the noisy ice machine
For all eternity
And every day he runs by screaming

Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you used to think was so important
Doesn't really matter anymore
Because the simple fact remains that

Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
Everything you know is wrong

As the song ended, rather suddenly, the group fell back into the room they started in. They then got up, somehow knowing that they weren't dreaming anymore. Of course, the narrator had to but in about it.

"Good morning sleepyheads," the narrator said. "Did you enjoy your dream?"

"It was...." Sonic started, not knowing how to describe it.

"Unique," Hikeya finished for him.

"Well, looks like we have to start over," Cologne said, noting that all the doors were unlocked. "Maybe this time we are supposed to pick up on something else?"

"Lets look at that pedestal again," Sonic said, walking up to it. "It might have a clue we missed before."

"Nope," Rose said. "Looks identical to the one we started with."

"I wonder," Sonic said, deep in thought. Mumbling to himself, he started singing parts of the song from their dream. "Everything you know is wrong, black is white, up is down, and short is long". He kept on repeating this phrase, mumbling just enough so the others could tell what he was mumbling, and not knowing what he was seeing. The truth is, he just knew that part of the song struck him as important, but couldn't figure out why.

Rose, at this point, had started doing pretty much the same thing Sonic was. Her mind, however, while having not picked up on that part of the song, was starting to come up with associations. She started mentally tracing things on the pedestal, until finally she thought she had it. "I think I know what we have to do," she finally said.

"Good," said Cologne. "I don't have a clue."

"Yes," Kalshion said. "Please elaborate."

"Would everyone SHUT UP so she can tell us?" Hikeya said as Sonic was about to open his mouth. Sonic shut is mouth, and Rose had the stage.

"The song was right," Rose started. "Everything we know, or rather knew, is wrong . According to the pedestal, we have to go up, to one of the doors we have been trying, and a long distance at that. Well, if up is down and short is long then we really have to go down a short distance to go up a long one, right?" Everyone nodded. "That means we have to leave through the door we came in to get to the top."

"How is that possible?" asked Katarina.

"I don't know," Rose admitted. "We aren't exactly following that many laws of nature, though."

"Ok, so if we have to walk out the door we came in," Cologne said, "lets do so." So they did, stepping through the doorway and becoming aware of a somewhat intense darkness, high wind, and intense cold. "Guess we were in there longer then we thought."

"Nope," Rose said, looking over the edge of the castle. "If you look carefully over the edge you can see us bringing Tokaiko into the spiral."

"Impossible," Kalshion said, looking with his enhanced eye. Then, with surprise, "Wow, it is us."

"About time you figured out how to get up here," came a voice. It sounded familiar, but not overly so.

"Who said that?" Sonic, Rose, and Cologne all called at once.

"I did," came the voice again.

"Wait a minute," Sonic said. "That sounds suspiciously like the standard narrator for this segment."

A 'ca-ching' sound played before the voice responded. "Good job. You have just won an all expenses paid trip to space."

Suddenly the entire castle rumbled as some hidden machine started. Before they could respond the group found themselves on a castle flying up into the sky, higher then it had been. By the time the castle stopped they were high enough above the planet to see a good fourth of it at once. At this point some seemingly familiar music started playing.

"HOLD IT!" Sonic yelled, causing the music to stop. "Haven't we already HEARD that one?"

"No, you haven't," came the narrator. "You just heard a parody of the one that was about to play. Now, can we get on with this so that you can start looking for the boss?"

"Actually," said Sonic. "What is with you and that mysterious voice. You sound a lot alike, but you don't have the same byline."

"Well," the narrator said, "the boss of this castle doesn't exactly have his own voice, so we had to improvise. I drew the short straw, so I have to do his voice. You would have gotten the trip to space even if you hadn't noticed it, though."

"Oh, ok," Sonic responded. "I guess you can start the music."

"Thank you," the narrator said as the music started again. Sonic returned to looking over the edge of the castle at the earth below, as if nothing had happened.

There's something wrong with the world today
I don't know what it is
Something's wrong with our eyes

We're seeing things in a different way
And God knows it ain't His
It sure ain't no surprise

We're livin' on the edge
We're livin' on the edge
We're livin' on the edge
We're livin' on the edge

There's something wrong with the world today
The light bulb's getting dim
There's a melt down in the sky

If you can judge a wise man
By the color of his skin
The mister you're a better man than I

chorus: We're livin on the edge
You can't help yourself from fallin'
Livin' on the edge
You can't help yourself at all
Livin' on the edge
You can't stop yourself from fallin'
Livin' on the edge

Tell me what you think about your situation
Complication-aggravation
Is getting to you

If chicken little tells you that the sky is fallin'
And even if it wasn't would you still come crawlin'
Back again?
I bet you would my friend
Again & again & again & again & again

Tell me what you think about your situation
Complication-aggravation
Is getting to you

If chicken little tells you that the sky is fallin'
A nd even if it wasn't would you still come crawlin'
Back again?
I think you would my friend
Again & again & again & again

Something right with the world today
And everybody knows it's wrong
But we can tell them no or we can let it go
But I would rather be hanging on

Livin' on the edge
Livin' on the edge
Livin' on the edge
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Livin' on the edge
You can't help yourself from fallin'
You can't help yourself at all
Livin' on the edge
You can't stop yourself from fallin'
Livin' on the edge
You can't help yourself
You can't help yourself
Livin' on the edge
You can't help yourself at all
You can't help yourself
Livin' on the edge
You can't stop yourself from fallin'
Livin' on the edge

"Ok, so we should make sure not to fall off," Rose said, backing away from the edge. "Anything else?"

"You mean like those bright red points moving towards us?" Katarina asked, pointing behind most of the group.

"Yea," Tommy said, reaching to pull out a gun. "That qualifies."

"He would be threatening you," came the narrator. "But as I said before, he can't talk. Just get ready to fight him."

The group didn't bother to respond as they all got their weapons ready. Boss battles were usually tough, so they laid themselves out in a manner best for attacking. Tommy and Emily were in the very back, having the longest-range weapons, while Sonic and Kalshion were in the front with their swords. Cologne was off to the side, ready to use whatever magic she had available to her, with Ryoga in the middle of the whole group ready to jump out to attack, not having much to defend himself with. Hikeya was off to the opposite side of Cologne, and realized she didn't know what kinds of attacks she had. Rose and Jaime were hovering above the middle of the group with their weapons ready, and Katarina was hovering over the front line, hopefully to act as a distraction while casting her spells.

"Nice setup," the narrator commented.

"Thanks," replied various members of the group.

"Too bad it won't help," the narrator said, laughing.

"Ok, I don't know why," Emily said, "but that makes me worry much more then it really should have."

"By the way," the narrator said, still giggling a little. "You might want to use that save crystal behind you."

"SAVE CRYSTAL?" the group said, spinning around. Sure enough, there was a crystal marked 'Save' behind them. Emily, being the closest to it, reached out and touched it. It suddenly turned green, and vanished.

"So what did that do?" Sonic inquired after staring at where the crystal had been for a minute.

"Oh, not much," the narrator responded. "You just continue from that point when you die fighting this boss."

"You sound pretty cocky," Jaime noted.

"Why shouldn't I?" the narrator said. "The boss just got here, and you are talking to me!"

With that the group spun around to find the boss swinging a giant metal tip. A second later the entire group, save Katarina, was knocked right over the edge of the castle, to fall to their death. Katarina soon joined them as she had quickly jumped to try and grab someone, anyone, and gotten pulled over herself.

Back at the mirror

"Kind of anticlimactic, don't you think?" Nadesiko commented, preparing a ball of energy in the hand the old woman couldn't see.

"Oh don't worry," the old woman said. "As soon as they actually crash land the save point will reset them to where they had been, with memory of what happened, of course."

"I guess that is ok," Nadesiko said. "But won't the fall hurt?"

"Oh, the fall will be painless," the old woman said. "They just have to worry about that sudden stop at the end."

"That doesn't sound very nice," Nadesiko commented, noting that her ene rgy ball was ready.

"No, I don't suppose it is," said the old woman. "I don't suppose that energy you are preparing is going to be nice either," she thought to herself.

"Well, I suppose you can't make an omelet," Nadesiko said, jumping up, "without breaking a few eggs." With that she flung the energy at the old woman, but missed as her wing hitting the chair pulled her to the side. The ball of energy exploded next to the old woman, who wasn't surprised that Nadesiko missed.

On a small moon in the neutral zone

"Well captain," Q said, aiming his finger like a gun at a nearby male ensign. "If you won't participate in my game I will have to find a way to persuade you."

"Everything is a game with you," Picard said, staring Q down. "One of these days your tricks will backfire again."

"Is that," Q said as he went to trigger the change he had prepared. Suddenly what looked like and explosion occurred around Q, startling those standing there. When they looked again Q was nowhere to be found.

"Oh great," Riker said. "How are we going to get back to the Enterprise now?"

Back in front of the mirror

As the light from the explosion died down Q suddenly appeared, shocked at the sudden change in scenery. The energy he had built up flew from him, half of it hitting the old woman. After a blinding clash of energies the old woman was left standing there in a two-piece bikini.

"YUCK!" Q yelled, looking at the old woman, just before turning around, just barely not throwing up. Nadesiko would have commented, but she was too busy rolling on the floor laughing. The old woman looked at herself, shrugged, and changed herself into a teenage girl.

"Is that better?" the teen asked.

"Much," Q said. "So, where are we anyway?"

"Don't you recognize it?" the teen asked as Nadesiko's laughter started to die down.

"Looks familiar, but I can't place it," Q responded.

"You are in the center of the MFM sector," the teen said.

"MFM sector," Q said, thinking. "That would be the Master of ******* Magic sector. The center of which is....."

"What many refer to as 'The Great Void'," Nadesiko finished for him, having finally pulled herself off the floor.

"Well," Q half-mumbled. "I know who you are, Nadesiko. Shame on you for stopping the explosion of that star, by the way." Q then turned to the teen. "But if this is the great void, and you can change your age and appearance, then you must be Maxwell."

"You are correct," the teen said, morphing into a young man in what could only be described as an odd uniform. "Maxwell Mardok, Operative 0 of the Inter-matrix authority, at your service."

"You haven't changed a bit," Q said, shaking Maxwell's hand. "I knew you had set up camp here, but this is beyond what I expected. I suppose they still think you are on vacation."

"Nope, not anymore," Maxwell said. "I informed them that I was coming off vacation to deal with some recent events."

"Still searching for that being created after the great battle of Nixoplat 8?" Q inquired. Nadesiko got a confused look on her face, having never dealt with the Inter-matrix authority beyond Q's yelling at her about being an operative.

"You could say that," Maxwell said. "Although I do like to catch up with my kids every so often."

"KIDS?" Q yelled. "Why didn't you tell me you had kids? We have so much to catch up on!"

"Unfortunately," Maxwell said, "I don't have the time to chat, and you are technically supposed to be back on forced vacation. Since I am off vacation it is my duty to send you back. No hard feelings?"

"No hard feelings," Q said, knowing full well what was going to happen. "Don't be a stranger though. My vacation is getting boring as well, even with my kid to worry about."

"So I have heard," Maxwell said as he pulled out his Inter-matrix authority badge and pressed a button on it. "Cya."

"Bye," Q said as he was blasted back to where he had been standing. He was in a good mood at that point, so he let Picard and crew go, then visited his son who was playing with the gravity around a black hole.

"Great battle of Nixoplat 8? A being created after it?" Nadesiko said, curious. "What was all that about?"

"Some day I might fill you in," Maxwell said. "I suppose you would like me to change back into a female."

"Well," Nadesiko said. "It would be nice."

"Alright then," Maxwell said. A moment later a teenage girl in less revealing clothing was standing there, although different from the one that had been wearing the bikini. "Call me Saraia," she said.

"Oooh, you chose a name for yourself," Nadesiko said. "Does that mean you plan on using this form more often?"

"I have my ideas," Saraia said.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

"Looks like they landed," Saraia said. "They should be coming back any time now. Shall we watch?"

"Of course," Nadesiko said, still turning some of her questions over in her head.

Back on top of the castle

"That hurt," Hikeya mumbled, rubbing various parts of her body.

"Lets not do that again," Sonic said, turning to face where the boss should be coming from, shocked to find no sign of it. "Where did it go?"

"Sorry," came a computerized voice. The group spun around to see the boss with a device on its neck. "I was tired of not being able to talk, so I picked this up."

"YAHOOOOOO!" came the narrator. "Now I don't have to do your voice!"

"May I ask you a question," Rose said to the boss.

"Sure, never been able to answer one for myself before," the boss responded with its computerized voice.

"Why do you have to try and kill us?" Rose asked.

"Because my sole purpose in existing is to keep you from getting the key," the boss responded.

"Well I won't let you throw me off of this castle again," Jaime said. "I am still sore from the first time."

"What is a little rat with wings like you going to do to stop me?" the boss said.

"What did you call me?" Jaime said with an expression and tone of voice that would drive fear into the hearts of most mortal men. The rest of the group noticed this and backed off. Had they been able to see him they would have noticed the narrator climbing into a bomb shelter.

"A disgusting little rat with wings," the boss said, ignoring Jaime's expression and tone of voice as the computerized voice gave a tone of insult. Jaime, hearing this, bowed her head a little, shut her eyes, and pulled her hands into tiny fists.

At this point someone found an air raid siren and started it up. As the siren blared and the boss looked on, slowly realizing that he had made a mistake, Jaime went from green to red as sparks came from her tiny body. Slowly, she began to glow, looking like a small ball of energy shooting electricity in random directions. As the ball of energy seemed to glow stronger and stronger a window popped up over Jaime's glowing form. Rose was the only one in the group who read it, finding it to say something about evolution before a larger window showing Jaime's stats popped up over it. All the stats were rising at rates beyond comprehension, and showed no signs of stopping. Finally the window gave up and displayed infinity signs for the stats instead of numbers.

The boss had finally gotten the idea to run for the hills, and turned to do so. The camera zoomed in on Jaime as the boss did so, showing that she was looking up and opening her eyes. When she did so the box above her head changed once more, showing the attack and the MP it was using. No one quite caught the attack name, however, as a blinding white light erupted from Jaime and went into the boss, frying it to a crisp. Over the boss's head a single box appeared, saying "Isn't that overdoing it a little?". No sooner had the boss fell then Jaime did too, and Cologne picked up on the attack.

"The death look?" Cologne thought to herself. "Using up fifty MILLION MP?"

Rose, on the other hand, was more concerned with the persistence of Jaime's glow. While it was green now, instead of red, she wasn't sure what had happened. Jaime still had a tail, although it looked different now, and she was almost identical in size and overall appearance to Rose. Wasting no time, Rose tried to wake Jaime up, even kissing her on the forehead. When all of her attempts failed it donned on her to check Jaime's stats. Upon doing so she found that Jaime's MP and HP were at 0, but also that Jaime was now a fairy.

"She almost killed herself doing that," Rose said, still looking at Jaime's stats. "Anyone got some ammonia?"

"I do," Emily said, pulling out a small bottle that, when handed to Rose, shrunk even further.

"Thanks," said Rose as she used the ammonia to revive Jaime. "Hello there sleepyhead," Rose joked as Jaime got up.

"I feel different," Jaime said, shaking her head. "What happened?"

"What happened?" Hikeya said. "WHAT HAPPENED? You blew your top and obliterated the boss, that is what happened."

"You also knocked yourself out and changed into a fairy," Rose added.

"Woa," Jaime said. "Well, did you guys get the key yet? I want to go home to my bed to take a nap."

"No, we didn't get the key," Sonic said. "Shall we do that now?" After a few nods all around the group continued on, looking for some place the key might be. As they searched some music started playing.

"How many more songs are there?" Ryoga asked.

"At least two more after this one," came the narrator.

"Figures," Emily sighed.

Have you ever been close to tragedy, or been close to folks who have
Have you ever felt a pain so powerful, so heavy you collapse

No...well...I never had to knock on wood
But I know someone who has
Which makes me wonder if i could,
It makes me wonder if I
Never had to knock on wood
And I'm glad I haven't yet
Because I'm sure it isn't good
That's the impression that I get

Have you ever had the odds stacked up so high
You need a strength most don't possess
Or has it ever came down to do or die, you've got to rise above the rest

Ohhhhhh, never had to knock on wood
But I know someone who has
Which makes me wonder if i could,
It makes me wonder if I
Never had to knock on wood
And I'm glad I haven't yet
Because I'm sure it isn't good
That's the impression that I get

I'm not a coward, I've just never been tested
I'd like to think that if I was I would pass
Look at the tested and think there but for the grace go I
'might be a coward I'm afraid of what I might find out

Never had to knock on wood
But I know someone who has
Which makes me wonder if i could,
It makes me wonder if I
Never had to knock on wood
And I'm glad I haven't yet
Because I'm sure it isn't good
That's the impression that I get

Never had, I better knock on wood
Cause I know someone who has, it makes me wonder if I could
It makes me wonder if I...never had, I better knock on wood
Cause I'm sure it isn't good, and I'm glad I haven't yet
That's the impression that I get

At the end of the song the group came to an area of the castle that appeared to be made out of wooden pillars. Unfortunately, some kind of door dropped behind them, sealing them in as soon as they had entered. They ended up spreading out, looking for a way out, and ending up right back where they had started.

"So how do we get out of this one?" Jaime said.

"We use the clues handed to us," Emily said, walking over to the nearest pillar. "That would be to knock on the wood." With that she started rapping on the wood. Moment s later the floor dropped out from under the entire area.

"Next time would you discuss these things before acting on them?" Jaime asked Emily.

"Sure," Emily answered. "Can we get sucked into the black void we are floating above now?"

"I guess," Jaime said. Moments later the group was sucked into the black void, and the floor came back.

The group found themselves in a large chamber with a small pedestal at one end. The pedestal had a barred window behind it, the bars cut. On the pedestal was a piece of paper.

"Don't tell me......" Sonic said, running over and grabbing the paper. He glanced at it, crushed it in his hand as he made two fists, and tried not to blow his top.

"What is it," Rose asked, thinking she knew the answer.

"LLLLLLUUUUUUPPPPPPIIIIIINNNNNN!" Sonic screamed, sending the entire spiral of castles to the ground in a heap of biometal. Turning around he found that he had KOed the entire group. "Ooops...."

Back at the Lab

General Williams was ready to send the group back to their world, having gotten tired of their questions about the RPG. Maybe she could focus on it if she sent these people back to their world. She entered in the coordinates of the world and reached for the send button, half paying attention to the RPG. Suddenly Sonic screamed after reading the paper, causing General Williams to flinch and hit the wrong button. After a bright flash of light there was yet another person standing on the pad, joining those already there.

"Alright," General Williams said. "Who are you?"

"That," Kagome said, giving the newcomer a look, "would be Sesshoumaru."

"Well then, since we have to wait for the thing to charge up AGAIN," General Williams responded to this, "lets watch more of the RPG." With that Sesshoumaru gave an inquisitive glance at the others, shrugged, and decided that until he could find out more about where he was he probably shouldn't try anything.

Back with the group

Sonic had set up camp, and the next morning the group tried to figure out where Lupin might have gone off to. After three hours they were no closer then they had started off. That is, until they heard some music start up.

"Music in this section of the game usually means clues, right?" Sonic asked.

"Usually," Rose said. "Lets listen."

Without any training, it's pouring, it's raining.
Training or a trade Hey, you bet I'm afraid.
Unequipped with the skill
But I'm thrilled with the thrill
Underskilled, unprepared Hey, who wouldn't be scared

A dime for a dozen if that's what you're after
A moment of silence, a lifetime of laughter

So bring on the obstacles
And burn me a bridge
I'm not sure, should I call this a range or a ridge.
There ain't none too high if I'm up for the climb
I'll go zero to sixty
And stop on a dime

A dime for a dozen if that's what you're after
A moment of silence, a lifetime of laughter

On the brighter side and on a happier note
The noise well it's just love that gets caught in my throat

doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
doo doo doo doo doo doo doo
doo doo doo doo doo doo doo

The end of the line's not the end of the rope
Just a salesman selling a bucket of hope
When my bucket gets kicked and my chips are all cashed
My intentions, conventions are finally smashed

A dime for a dozen if that's what you're after
A moment of silence, a lifetime of laughter

"What was that supposed to mean?" Hikeya asked.

"I don't know," Tommy said, pointing at a man entering the clearing. "Maybe that bum knows something."

"Just for that," the man said, "I will be charging two dimes instead of one!"

"Two dimes?" Rose thought to herself. "Wasn't the song talking about dimes?"

"What are you selling?" Sonic asked th e man.

"Information," the man responded. "From the yelling that occurred here last night I would assume you are looking for Lupin. I can tell you where to find him."

Sonic pulled out a handful of dimes and handed it to the man. "Tell us everything you can," Sonic said. Only after did it don on Sonic that he hadn't had dimes before, but he figured that was part of the RPG.

"Thank you," the man said. "To find Lupin you must head west until you reach the east, then head north until you reach the south. Once you are there you must fly up until you are down, then climb the stairs to reach the basement. There you shall find Lupin."

Sonic, Rose, Emily, Jaime, Kalshion, Katarina, Tommy, and Cologne's mouths dropped, their eyes popped out of their heads, and they fell backwards. Rose pulled herself together, looked up, and yelled to the narrator. "CHECK PLEASE!"

"Lets get going," Ryoga said. "We can follow those directions EASILY."

"WHAT!" most of the rest of the group yelled.

"The magnetic north pole is 2 miles that way," Hikeya said, pointing. "That makes it easier."

The group looked, shrugged, and followed Ryoga and Hikeya. They walked around a semi-circle by heading west, reaching the east, then walked north, over the magnetic pole, to reach a point south of the pole opposite where they had started walking north. There they found a field with a small platform, which they climbed onto. It brought them up to the moon that was right above them, finding that they were at a landing platform with stairs going up, the earth still below them. They climbed the stairs into a basement.

"Wait a minute," Katarina said. "That field we found the platform in, wouldn't it have been the one we STARTED in?"

"You know," Hikeya said. "You are right. Weird, huh?"

"Alright, where is it?" Sonic called out. "I know it is coming."

"What are you talking about?" Kalshion asked Sonic.

"The next song," Sonic responded. "I know one is coming. Where is it?"

"Have patience," the narrator said. "It hasn't been long enough since the last one. Go find something to do in the meantime. If you can't think of something to do then try pushing that red button over there."

"Who are you to tell us what to do?" Tommy yelled.

Sonic looked at Tommy, then at the button. "That works," he said, grabbing Tommy and throwing him into the red button. The resulting blast of electricity going through Tommy's body was highlighted by all of Tommy's flesh flashing invisible, showing only his skeleton. After a couple minutes of this Tommy fell from the button and a door opened next to him. Kalshion picked the now unconscious Tommy up and carried him through the door, following the rest of the group that had already gone through.

Back at the mirror

Saraia walked back through the mirror, sitting down with a smug look on her face. "That was fun," she said.

"Did you really have to give them directions like that?" Nadesiko asked.

"Unless you want to go in next time," Saraia said, "yes."

Back in the large room the group has entered

"Well," Sonic called into the room. "We are here, what next?"

As if in answer(ok, so it was in answer) music started playing.

"About time for the next song," Sonic mumbled.

They made something
They played something
Brand new a baby blue machine
Brass tacks, duct tape
For the great escape
Packed in there like sardines
Back and forth East, south, west, north
Shred the atlas, burn the map
Often lost and paths criss-crossed
Wake me up I need a nap
1,2 what's in the stew
3,4 no one's really sure
5,6 what's in the mix
7,8 this stuff tastes
They did something
Which meant something
And that got them some attention
Eyes wide!
A roller coaster ride
Great pride in this invention
I think they're selling Snake oil
At the dog and pony show
In the garden gee
Would you pardon me
And by the way how does it grow?
1,2 what's in the stew
3,4 no one's really sure
5,6 what's in the mix
7,8 this stuff tastes
The explanation's unexplainable
Holding onto something
Once so unattainable
The course was never charted
So don't look into the books
The secret's not the recipe
It's got to be the cooks
They made something
They played something
Blood, sweat, and elbow grease
Well if you can't stand the heat in the kitchen
Get out it will increase
Last train to where?
Hey get out of here
Nothing's measured and nothing's weighed
A dash of honesty in the recipe
That's the first mistake you've made
1,2 what's in the stew
3,4 no one's really sure
5,6 what's in the mix
7,8 this stuff tastes
1,2 what's in the stew
3,4 no one's really sure
5,6 what's in the mix
7,8 this stuff tastes "Great."

"I guess that means this stew is safe to eat," Ryoga said, staring at a pot they had found during the song.

"Lets test it on Tommy to be safe," Cologne said.

"Good idea," Sonic said, grinning. He picked up a ladle, filled it with some of the stew, and poured it into Tommy's mouth. The resulting explosion half destroyed the room, sending everyone flying. Tommy woke up, but was barely able to stand.

"What did you do that for," Tommy asked, gasping for breath.

"So we meet again," Lupin called out from somewhere in the room, not waiting for someone to answer Tommy. "Sorry I'm late, but I was out picking up this sword from a one-armed freak watching you guys."

"One-armed freak?" the group thought.

Back at the lab

"That sword looks familiar," Sesshoumaru said, looking down. When he saw what was, or rather wasn't at his waist his eyes went wide. "HOW DID HE PULL THAT OFF?"

Back in the half-destroyed room

"This sword is said to have great power," Lupin said. "In my hands, however, it might as well be a club." Lupin threw the sword into the air, and a blur flew by and grabbed it. "Therefore my good friend Goemon will be using it instead."

"Shit," Sonic said. "When Lupin had it we had a chance of stopping it from being used on us."

"Also, we have this contract that says we have to kill you," Lupin said. "No hard feelings, of course, just business."

With this Goemon, bearing the stolen sword, dropped in front of Tommy. The sword flashed, cutting Tommy faster then a normal eye could see.

"Not bad," Kalshion said. "Fifty-eight cuts."

"I lost count at forty," Sonic said.

"You could see it cut at all?" Emily said, shocked.

"Man that felt good!" Tommy said, getting up.

Goemon and Lupin just looked at Tommy, jaws hanging to the floor, eyes popping out and rolling across the room, and then finally bodies falling to pieces. "Where is Jigen when you need him..." Lupin mumbled as he threw the key and ran, Goemon following suit, throwing the sword into the air where a bright flash returned it to Sesshoumaru.

"Must have been the Tenseiga," Rose commented. "Even if its healing powers didn't give it away, its aura did."

"Well," Sonic said as he picked up the key. "That is the second key. How do we get out of here?"

"Allow me to let you know," the Narrator said. "The moon you are on was thrown out of orbit by that stew exploding, and now it is on a collision course with some scientists."

Back in town with the American Scientists, who still haven't figured anything out

"The laws of physics here have changed," one scientist said. "Yet we aren't fully sure how."

"I hope they changed enough for us to survive being crushed," another said.

"Why?" asked a third.

"Because that moon is heading straight for us," responded the second scientist just before the moon hit, exploded, and left the group standing a couple blocks away from the scientists rubbing their sore, spectral bodies.

"Figures," a fourth scientist said.

A couple of blocks away

"So what is next?" Sonic asked.

"I want to go home and sleep in my own bed," Jaime said.

"Sounds like a plan to me," Sonic said. Everyone else agreed, and they did so. It turned out that everyone just fell into a dreamless slumber as soon as they hit their pillows, and the next morning they met again.

"So where is the next castle," Cologne asked.

"The map is in the dragon realm," Sonic said. "Some shopkeeper has it."

"Then lets go," Hikeya said, somewhat more eager then the others. The group wasted no time in heading for the gateway in town, and found that it wasn't hard to go through it. Coming out on the other side they found a small sign.

Welcome to Shoptown. We have over five hundred shops open all day, every day!

Surprisingly, the group wasn't shocked at this. Instead, they got ready for the mind-numbingly boring task of searching EVERY SHOP until they found the right one.

"Sorry guys," Hikeya said, "but I have to go do a couple of things. I will catch up with you later." With that she ran off into town.

"We have to search all these shops," Ryoga said, obviously angry, "and she just runs off."

"Lets get going," Sonic said.

Chapter 29
Fishing for info
Who, what, where, when, why, and how long?

Three weeks later

"Well," Sonic said. "This is the last shop in town." He walked in, the rest of the group following.

"Took you long enough to get here," Hikeya said, running up and hugging Ryoga.

"What are you doing here?" Sonic asked Hikeya.

"Turns out my father runs this shop, and he has the map!" Hikeya said. "I told him what is going on."

"Why did you have to be in the LAST SHOP?" Rose asked.

"No silly," Hikeya said. "This is the FIRST shop, you must have started from the end."

"Oh," Rose said. "Wait a minute, you said your FATHER runs this shop?"

"Yes," a loud voice boomed. "Hikeya is my daughter, and this is my shop." The group turned to see a large dragon, obviously male, holding a scroll. "I understand you want this scroll."

"But, if he is her father," Rose said, "then that means she is a...but she isn't a.....dragons can't have kids with...." As Rose fought the logic in her head, trying to force it to shut down, she started faltering in her flight. Sonic noticed this and caught her before she fell and hurt herself.

"I think we need someone to tell us what is going on," Sonic said, turning to Hikeya.

Hikeya sighed, before gesturing to the group to follow her into the back of the store. Twenty minutes later the group had been told of what happened to her when the RPG curse hit, and how her dragon heritage was all but stripped from her in the process.

"So that is what happened," Rose said, feeling much better now that she knew it was a curse that was causing the confusion.

"Yep," Hikeya said. "But my father doesn't care what I look like, as long as my mind is, well, mostly in-tact."

"She is acting a tad odd now," the large dragon said. "Since she showed up she has even lapsed into a different mindset, acting like she was never anything but a young child."

"So, Mr....?" Sonic said, realizing he had never gotten the dragon's name.

"Call me George, it is easier to pronounce then my full name," the dragon said. "Even Hikeya couldn't handle it in her new form."

"Ok George," Sonic continued. "What will we need to do for you to give us that scroll?"

"That is where there is a problem," Hikeya said.

"What do you mean?" Rose asked, obviously worried.

"That scroll is part of my Hope Chest," Hikeya answered, blushing.

"But, don't you use," Rose started.

"Crystals, yes," Hikeya finished as her father took a small ring off of a shelf. Everyone but Sonic, Rose, and Hikeya was shocked when he reached inside the small gem, putting his arm in to his elbow, and then pulled it back out without the scroll. "We still use the ancient term, even though we use more efficient means of storage now."

"How many megs of MP3s can you get in that thing?" Tommy asked, amazed.

"MP3s?" George asked, confused.

"Ignore him," Hikeya said. "He has no clue what is going on." True to Hikeya's words, Tommy didn't even hear her half-insult as he imagined how easily he could shoplift with a gem like that.

"At any rate," George said, looking at the group. "My great aunt put that scroll in my daughter's hope chest. Even though the scroll has been altered, she or a descendant of hers must be the one that gives permission for it to be given to someone other then Hikeya's husband."

"So where do we find her?" Jaime asked, knowing it wasn't going to be that simple.

"No one knows," George answered. "She vanished long ago, before she was married, and has never been seen from since. The only information we have was a farewell letter with an odd insignia on it."

"Odd insignia?" Rose asked.

"Yes," George said. "Two of what I believe you call an 'M', one black and one white. Let me go get the letter for you, it may help you." With that he left the room, only to return a few minutes later with a small paper. "Here you go."

"Thanks dad," Hikeya said, taking the letter from him. "Well guys, lets go. Who knows what this will take."

"Bye George," Sonic said. Everyone else said their goodbyes, and the group left.

"Sonic? Rose? Could they have been...." George said to himself after they had left. "No, couldn't be, they wouldn't be caught by something like this." After giving this more thought, he added, "or would they...."

After the group had left Sonic took the paper from Hikeya. "Yep, that is MM's mark alright," Sonic said. "So, how do we contact him about it? I don't recall seeing my pendant around anywhere."

"Same here," Rose said as they stepped through the gateway. "I am at a loss as to what we should do."

"How about read the stupid letter," Tommy said. Everyone else stopped walking at this. "What did I say?"

"When did you get more common sense then the rest of us?" Katarina asked.

"I dunno, when did you get so stupid," Tommy shot back. In the meantime, Sonic had opened the letter and started reading it. Most of it was an apology for vanishing, with some mentions of a true love and an ultimate sacrifice. Nothing new for those who vanish for love.

Suddenly Sonic stopped mid-stride, so suddenly that he fell over from lack of balance. The shock was so bad that he lost ten HP from it, plus another two from falling. "SHARON!?"

"Yea," Hikeya said. "My father's great aunt's name was Sharon. Is that important?"

"Maybe," Rose said. "To find out we have to go back to the dragon world."

With that they headed back to the dragon world, finding their bearings in the altered state of the world to determine where their target was. After three days of searching they finally came to a cave Sonic and Rose recognized.

"Here we are," Sonic said. "What we need should be in here."

"Lets get going," Hikeya said. "I am curious about what happened to my great great aunt Sharon."

With that the group walked into the cave, following Sonic and Rose, who stopped almost as soon as they had entered the cave. Their jaws dropped, causing cracks to web out from around them on the floor. The rest of the group, not knowing what they were supposed to find, decided that this wasn't a good sign.

That, and they had a hunch that their intended goal was not to visit "MM's used Tandy Computers".

At this point Sonic and Rose both snapped, obviously angry. Their power levels went through the roof(literally, the windows displaying them broke the roof as they expanded to fit the values) and Sonic's curse of female hair and clothing was broken. Rose's glow darkened into a blood red as it expanded, causing the rest of the group to think about running, but only back off twenty feet or so for starters. No sooner had they done so then both Sonic and Rose let loose with one long, loud scream. The resulting shockwave registered on the Rictor scale in the Inter-nexial authority headquarters. Amazingly, the entire Matrix shook just right so that nobody inside of it noticed a thing.

At the inter-nexial authority headquarters

"What in the nexial matrix is the Rictor scale?" an official asked the operator of the nearest information station.

"I have no clue sir," the operator replied. "But whatever it is, that shockwave just registered on it."

"Leave it to MM to cause something like that," the official said, sighing. "I hope Nadesiko can tell us what has been happening."

Back in the now-collapsed cave

"Sorry about that," Sonic and Rose said, both obviously blushing at what had just happened. It took them a moment to realize that everyone was paralyzed from the shockwave. After applying some healing magic they apologized for losing their temper like that.

"You know," Katarina interrupted, obviously not keeping up with the convo the rest of the group was having. "That hope chest ring thing that George put the scroll in looked a lot like a ring given to me by my mother that I keep in my hope chest at home."

"Interesting," Rose said, plotting in her mind. "I find that hard to believe."

"I will prove it to you," Katarina said, grabbing Rose and pulling her in the direction of the gateway. The rest of the group followed, Sonic having some idea of what Rose was getting at. Soon they were at the shrine and Katarina was digging through her hope chest, not noticing that the extra strain on her form to keep her hands solid enough to search was causing her entire lower body to fade out. Finally she found a small box and handed it to Rose. "Take a look for yourself!" she said. When Rose had taken the box, barely, Katarina started to fade back in. Sonic, seeing the strain Rose was under to hold the box, took it and opened it. Sure enough, it was identical to Hikeya's hope chest.

Finally, Sonic spoke. "Could it really be...." he reached his hand towards it, and was immediately thrown across the room into the wall, the ring glowing for a moment before the box fell to the floor. "Yep, it is a hope chest. Forgot that the ability to open one for item removal is limited to mated dragons, though."

"That is a hope chest, like Hikeya's?" Katarina asked, obviously confused.

"Yes," Sonic said.

"What does that mean?" Kalshion asked, half-knowing the answer.

"It means the two of you have a dragon in your ancestry," Rose said, obviously meaning Kalshion and Katarina.

"If we want to find out what is in this thing," Sonic said, "we have to go back to George."

"You really think my father can get things out of that?" Hikeya said, coming out of her own little world that she had started lapsing into more often.

"He should be able to," Rose said. "So lets go see him."

The group made short work of getting back through the gateway. When they arrived they were shocked, however. The sign they read when they left the gateway no longer said "Shoptown", now it said "Doomsville". The group figured that, given the volcanoes, hailstorms, lighting strikes, near-constant gunfire, and flying exploding pineapples, the town was aptly named.

"So when did the gateway come HERE?" Katarina asked.

"It makes no sense," Kalshion said.

"Hey narrator dude," Sonic yelled. "Can you tell us anything?"

"Nope," came the flat reply of the narrator.

"Wait a minute," Rose said. "He is still on duty? That means our song torture isn't over!"

"Good point," the narrator said. "As for the torture part, as long as a song is playing you can't be touched by anything but a boss."

"In THAT case," Sonic said, eyeing the city, "START ONE UP, because HERE WE GO!" With that some music started and the group took off into town.

Here We Go!

Hey, what's up, Superstar?
Looks like you're goin' far,
Hey look it's Wonderguy,
Gonna make ya plenty fine,
Now what's up, Wondergirl?
You're gonna change the world,

So everything's not perfect,
Don't matter 'cause,
You rework it,
No-thing's holding you,
Never stopping,
Never stopping,
Never stopping now,

Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh,
Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Here We Go!
Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-oh...

Hey what's up dynamite?
Takin off on a new flight,
Step it up to number 1,
It won't back off until it's,
Gonna be like a great fly,
You're gonna be the next flier...

So every-thing is crazy,
Don't matter 'cause,
No-thing's crazy,
You...get...though...it,
Never stopping,
Never stopping,

Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Here We Go!
Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-oh...

Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Here We Go!
Oh-oh, Oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-ohhhhhh....

As the song ended the group found themselves outside of town, looking back at everything they had missed while the song was playing.

"Ok," Sonic said. "I have to admit, those songs could come in handy at times."

"Ryoga, Hikeya," Cologne said. "Where to now?"

"Ummmmmmm," Hikeya said, obviously uncomfortable.

"You won't like this," Ryoga added, staring at his hands as he played with his fingers.

"JUST TELL US ALREADY!" Tommy screamed, causing the two to fall backwards.

Both Ryoga and Hikeya sat up and pointed back into town, straight at the gateway. The rest of the group stared for a moment, and then collapsed from the shock. A couple of hours later the group was fighting their way back through the town.

"How did we get into this mess?" Hikeya asked no one in particular.

"While MM did this," Sonic started.

"We blame DS," Rose finished.

"Too bad that doesn't help," Hikeya said as a small platypus-like creature jumped out from around a corner. It looked at the group for a moment, then jumped up and let out a long "quack". The group froze, a target appearing in the air, moving back and forth over the group, finally resting on Ryoga. For a second Ryoga glowed Red, then suddenly a few billion "Yes Sir!" bubbles appeared all over the insane town, in the clouds, and, had they been able to see them, out in space.

"Bye," Sonic said, grabbing Rose and running from Ryoga.

"Cya," Emily said, doing the same with Jaime.

"Sorry we can't stick around," Kalshion said as he and Katarina ran.

"We will be going now too," Cologne said, grabbing a slightly confused Hikeya and running.

"Huh?" Ryoga said, looking around. Tommy was the only one still there, and he was backing off slowly. Suddenly Ryoga jumped at him, and Tommy turned and bolted off into the town for himself. Ryoga was standing there, fuming that everyone left him without telling him what was going on. That didn't last long, however, as he was soon pelted with enough firepower to take out all the armies of the world ten times over. The resulting energy sphere engulfed half of the insane town, created a mushroom cloud visible from the next solar system over, and left Ryoga conspicuously alive. Nothing in the town was destroyed, as the attacks were directed at Ryoga, yet Ryoga wasn't in jured.

Well, at least, not until the one-armed pirate with an overbite and a peg leg jumped out and sliced his head off, anyway.

Ryoga then found himself at home, in his RPG form, without any of the other curses he may have picked up along the way. This meant that when he left a few minutes later he got lost immediately, the current state of the world not helping matters. It would be quite a while before he found his way anywhere.

The rest of the group, however, were now running all over town, trying to find their way back to the others while avoiding being killed. Finally they started hitting various things as they ran to try and make some semblance of music, wondering how they could hear what the others were hitting. They didn't care enough to stop and figure it out, though, as all they wanted was for a song to start so they would be a bit safer. Someone in the RPG band room, getting the hint, started some music and the group found themselves singing to it.

Things are starting to accelerate into something never
Stopping always troubled but
Now I think I’m getting dizzy too much spinning pace my
Patience line is thickening, quickening

It's getting too insane. I'm trying to maintain
Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah

You run around, I run around
We're all gonna run, run, run around
You run around, I run around
We all do a run, run, run around

It is getting closer
More intense ever spinning, twisting, turning roller coaster
Inch by inch the gap is
Closing pressure, building temperature, rising hotter and hotter

It's getting too crazy I wish I could maybe
Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah, woah

Run, run baby

Run, run baby

Run, run baby

Run, run baby

Run, run baby

Run, run baby

Like a rocket
Like a rocket
Never stopping
Never stopping

You run around, I run around
We're all gonna run, run, run around
You run around, I run around
We all do a run, run, run around

You run around, I run around
We're all gonna run, run, run around
You run around, I run around
We all do a run, run, run around

As the music came to a close the group came running out of the town, colliding in front of the gateway. Ten minutes later they had pulled themselves together and were discussing their plan from that point forward.

"So Hikeya," Cologne said. "Since Ryoga isn't with us, you will have to tell us where we are supposed to be going now."

"Oh," Hikeya said. "That is easy. Follow me."

Hikeya brought them into the gateway building, past the gateway, and out another door. Sitting in front of them was Shoptown, unphased by what had happened to the group back in Doomsville.

"WE WENT THROUGH ALL THAT BECAUSE WE LEFT THROUGH THE WRONG DOOR?!" Tommy yelled, throwing a gun to the ground.

"Enough of that," Rose said. "Lets go to George's shop."

The group started heading off, then realized Hikeya wasn't following them. Turning around they found her playing with some flowers.

"HIKEYA!" Sonic yelled. She snapped out of it and ran over.

"Sorry," Hikeya said, blushing. "I am finding it harder and harder to stay focused."

"Its ok," Cologne said. "You can't exactly be blamed for what happened to you." With that the group arrived at George's shop, and went in.

"DADDY!" Hikeya screamed, running out back. The rest of the group followed.

"Welcome back sweetheart," George said. "Did you find any more traces of Sharon?"

"We think so," Sonic said as he entered the room. He pulled out the ring and handed it to George. "But we can't get at it."

George looked at the ring, then reached into it, pushing his arm all the way in as he searched the magical space in the ring. He finally seemed to find what he was looking for, and pulle d his hand out. "That should do it," he said, walking to a room in the back of the house with a very large pit in it. He then turned the ring upside-down over the pit, causing the pit to be filled with a nicely organized collection of stuff. The group had crowded around George and looked down into the pit. It took them a moment, but they finally noticed George and Hikeya standing there, jaws dropped, staring at the pit.

"You would think they would have expected that," Rose said, snapping her fingers in front of their faces.

"Rose," Sonic whispered, "please have some respect. There is a dragon burial box down there!" Rose looked down and saw the crudely constructed box, sitting right in the middle of the pit. How could she have missed it the first time? Shortly after she noticed the human coffin next to it.

Three hours later

The group has gone over the contents of the hope chest, verified Kalshion and Katarina's ancestry, and gone over the recent events in George and Hikeya's family. George and Hikeya have now been verified as the only ones left in their branch of the dragon clan.

"I guess this scroll is rightfully yours now," George said, handing the map to Katarina. It glowed brightly, then changed appearance, matching a scroll that had been found in the dragon burial box. No longer was it a map, but the original scroll it had been. George and Hikeya were slightly shocked that it had changed back, but Rose was most intrigued.

"That looks like a power scroll," Rose said as she flew over to it for a better look.

"It is," George said. "Sharon had been entrusted with all three after she saved the life of the bearer of the scrolls. She immediately gave one to the aura keepers, making them promise to only use it in case of dire emergency. The second, the one you hold there, was put in Hikeya's hope chest. The third she had taken with her, the scroll we found next to her dead human body."

"But how could it have been there?" Sonic asked. "I thought the scrolls merged with the person who used them."

"She must have been changed by a different force," George said. "However, since the ring is Katarina's, she is the rightful owner of that scroll as well."

"I cannot take them," Katarina said, handing the scroll she was still holding to Hikeya. "You take this one, it was from your hope chest after all. George, you can have the other one, as well as everything else from the ring."

"What would I do with it?" George said.

"You and Hikeya might want to try what Sharon did," Kalshion said. "Or you could pass them down the line, as an emergency plan of action if things go wrong again."

"He is right," Sonic said. "Sharon tore the links with her family and friends to be with the one she loved. You, however, no longer have any other family aside from each other, and from what you said are distant from anyone you could consider a friend here."

"They are both right," Hikeya said. "I feel closer to these people now then to anyone other then you."

"I would have to think about it for a while," George said. "And I would insist on Hikeya doing the same once she is back to normal."

"Speaking of which," Hikeya said. "Lets see about finishing this game so that I can get back to normal!" She ran over to her hope chest, practically threw the scroll in, and grabbed as many people as she could and started pulling them to the door. "Bye dad!"

After they passed through the gateway the group found a cyber cafe. When several stomachs growled they decided it would be a good idea to stop in. Sitting down at some of the computers they found that they could play games, one of which was the one they were in!

"Alright," Sonic said. "In this version we play as the monsters."

"Must be MM's special interface," Rose said.

"But where is the weirdo song about it?," Tommy said. "Or did we change narrators when I wasn't looking?"

"DO N'T GIVE THEM IDEAS!" the rest of the group yelled.

"Too late," the narrator said.

With that some music started up, and the group found they couldn't stop messing with the game on the computer.

Hey!
It doesn't really matter where you go
It makes no difference, baby, who you know
This thing has gotten way out of control

Hey!
It doesn't really matter who you are
You might as well be a super star
'cause everything has gone way too far, oh-oh-oh

It's the strangest thing

It's getting stranger and then
It's getting harder to win
It's getting digital then
It starts happening all over again

Hey!
It makes no difference, baby, what you say
It's getting weirder every day by day
I think that something's really gone astray

Hey!
It really doesn't matter what you try
It's getting even harder to deny
'cause reality has just said good-bye

It's the strangest thing

It's getting stranger and then
It's getting harder to win
It's getting digital then
It starts happening all over again
It's getting stranger and then
It's getting harder to win
It's getting digital then
It starts happening all over again

It's the strangest thing

"I am getting sick and tired of this," Sonic said. "If I have to hear one more song in this segment I am going to scream my lungs out."

"Calm down," the narrator said. "They aren't THAT bad."

"SWEETO!" came a voice that could only be described as Happosai's.

THUD

"That didn't work well," Emily chuckled, looking at the Happosai statue in the cyber cafe's door. "Lets get going." As she stepped past Happosai, however, something odd happened. The statue started to crack, light flooding from the cracks. After a moment the statue burst apart, and Happosai had glomped onto Emily's chest, not daring to kiss her after forgetting whom he had kissed before having the warning burned into his back. Emily still got pissed, however.

"Get off of me," Emily said through her teeth, half-calmly, fists clenched, aura of anger forming around her, before screaming "you PERVERT!" while elbowing Happosai to the ground and kicking him into the air. Above her head a box opened up, showing that she had just used the "Hentai Punt".

"I guess not even the old coot can stop his perversity," Sonic commented as the group continued, making note to let Emily calm down.

Twenty minutes later

"Snobsville?" Rose said, reading the sign in front of them.

"The old coot must have crammed most of the rich snobs on the planet into one town," Cologne said. Several people snickered when she used the term "old coot".

"According to the map," Sonic said, staring at the map, "there is an adjoining town called Normville that we also have to pass through."

"Then lets get going," Rose said, flying on ahead. "I am uncomfortably used to my new perspective."

With that the group continued on through Snobsville, finding that no one would give them the time of day. When they reached the border with Normville they found a large stage, facing Snobsville, with a band about to play. No sooner then Sonic turned around to leave the area did the music start and he found he couldn't get anywhere.

Do you think it's strange
that there's a way of how you look and,
how you act, and how you think
and pretend they're not the same as you

Do you think it's strange
that there's a way of how you look and,
how you act, and how you think
and pretend they're not the same as you

Do you know about his strength in convictions
or how she puts all her faith in religion
Did we take the time
to really discover how little we know about each other?

Keep us from saying anything
can't separate from everything.
Yet all this really means
you're one in a crowd and you're paranoid of every sound
another friend you won't miss anyhow

Do you think it's strange
that there's a way of how you look and,
how you act, and how you think
and pretend they're not the same as you

Do you know about his strength in convictions
or how she puts all her faith in religion
Did we take the time
to really discover how little we know about each other?

Keep us from saying anything
can't separate from everything.
And all this really means is
you're one in a crowd and you're paranoid of every sound

Keep us from saying anything
can't separate from everything.
And all this really means is
you're one in a crowd and you're paranoid of every sound
another friend you won't miss anyhow

Do you know about his strength in convictions
or how she puts all her faith in religion
Did you take the time
to really discover how little we know about each other?

Keep us from saying anything
can't separate from everything.
And all this really means is
you're one in a crowd and you're paranoid of every sound

Keep us from saying anything
can't separate from everything.
And all this really means is
you're one in a crowd and you're paranoid of every sound

paranoid of every sound

paranoid of every sound

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Sonic screamed when the song was over, the vibration from his voice echoing across the matrix.

"ALRIGHT ALREADY," the narrator said. "No more songs!"

"About time," Sonic grumbled. What Sonic didn't know was that he had scared everyone from both towns away.

"Lets get going," Rose said, hoping that everyone could hear her. It turned out Jaime couldn't hear anything at the time due to the ringing in her ears, but she got the hint when everyone else started walking away. Finding the town now deserted, the group walked on into the forest.

"How far is this place anyway?" Kalshion asked as Katarina floated past his head on her back.

"About a month away," Hikeya said, causing the rest of the group to stop dead in their tracks. Most literally for Katarina, of course, but Cologne didn't look that far off.

"Lets find a faster way," Tommy finally said.

"There is no faster way," Hikeya said. "None of the vehicles that we are used to having are around in the game, I already checked into that."

"Then lets get going," Sonic said, plugging on.

Two weeks later

"Next time we need to pick up more food," Sonic said.

"Yep," Rose responded. "Hunting is getting annoying."

"Shall we pass the time with some tunes?" Sonic asked.

"Sure," Rose said, her glow noticeably brighter. "You play your Ocarina and I will sing."

"Ok," Sonic said, feeling for his Ocarina. When that failed he checked his items list. A few minutes later he found it, and went to play it.

"You gonna start," Katarina asked.

"I am trying," Sonic said. "It must be broken." With that he started looking it over, trying to find the problem. He checked to see if it was jammed or clogged, if there were cracks, and even if he was indeed able to blow air out of his mouth. When all that failed to find the issue he opened up a door on the top of the Ocarina, under the crest of hope, the edge being made out of energy. Fiddling around inside found nothing wrong, so he closed it back up again and tried playing. Still getting no sound, he remembered the earlier comment by the narrator, and his face lit up a little.

"Figure it out?" Rose asked, hoping she could start singing soon.

"Yes," Sonic said. "Remember when I screamed, and the narrator said 'No more songs'?"

"Yea," Kalshion said. "Jaime's ears were ringing for two hours after that scream."< br />
"Well, this would be a song," Sonic said. "Which means it is covered by that."

"How do we fix it?" Hikeya asked.

"Like this," Sonic said, taking a deep breath before yelling. "YO NARRATOR, WE WANT TO SING A SONG DOWN HERE!"

The night sky suddenly clouded over, the two moons and all the stars vanishing. The wind picked up, blowing the campfire down to mostly embers, and lighting struck in several places nearby. A hole appeared in the middle of the air, showing a small room with a microphone, video screens, and a person sitting at a keyboard. This person, which the group instinctively knew was the narrator, came out through the hole, grabbed Sonic, lifted him into the air, and shook him while yelling. "WILL YOU MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY!?"

"Alright already," Sonic said, a little dizzy. "Turn the songs back on, even if we have to hear others."

"Ok then," the narrator said, walking back through his hole, which promptly vanished. The sky cleared up, the wind died down, and the fire came back up to full blaze. Then, before anyone could say anything, the entire group got VERY dizzy as things blurred around them, showing them to be back at the edge of Normville. Sonic, seeing this, figured that arguing wasn't going to fix it, so he started playing, Rose joining in to sing.

When I was alone as one,
My eyes were as blind, I know.
Sky brilliant with blue elegance,
I couldn't behold.

My heart was as ice, so cold.
Wind whispering sweet melodies,
I could not behold.

Sight to my eyes,
And warmth to my heart,
Your love has been such to me.

Pull closer now,
And strengthen my leaning,
Toward love to heal all my wounds.

When our hearts both beat in time,
There's magic in your smile,
It seems there's nothing we can't do.

And within your warm embrace,
My heart will find a place,
Even from afar,
Our love forever shall be, destiny.

When I was alone as one,
My eyes were as blind, I know.
Sky brilliant with blue elegance,
I couldn't behold.

My heart was as ice, so cold.
Wind whispering sweet melodies,
I could not behold.

Sight to my eyes,
And warmth to my heart,
Your love has been such to me.

Pull closer now,
And strengthen my leaning,
Toward love to heal all my wounds.

When our hearts both beat in time,
There's magic in your smile,
It seems there's nothing we can't do.

And within your warm embrace,
My heart will find a place,
Even from afar,
Our love forever shall be, destiny.

When our hearts both beat in time,
There's magic in your smile,
It seems there's nothing we can't do.

And within your warm embrace,
My heart will find a place,
Even from afar,
Our love forever shall be, destiny.

"Nice," Katarina said. "Sonic, why don't you sing one?"

"I don't know," Sonic started.

"Go for it," Tommy said, grinning. "Lets hear you sing."

"All right, but don't blame me if it isn't anything like Rose's song," Sonic said. "Maestro, some music please."

"Sure thing," came a voice that everyone assumed must belong to the conductor of the behind-the-scenes band, just before some music started.

I took a walk around the world to
ease my troubled mind
I left my body laying somewhere
in the sands of time
I watched the world float to the dark
side of the moon
I feel there's nothing I can do, yeah

I watched the world float to the
dark side of the moon
After all I knew it had to be something
to do with you
I really don't mind what happens now and then
As long as you'll be my friend at the end

If I go crazy then will you still
call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be
there holdin' my hand
I'll keep you by my sid e with
my superhuman might
Kryptonite

You called me strong, you called me weak
but still your secrets I will keep
You took for granted all the times I
never let you down
You stumbled in and bumped your head, if
not for me then you'd be dead
I picked you up and put you back
on solid ground

If I go crazy then will you still
call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be
there holdin' my hand
I'll keep you by my side with
my superhuman might
Kryptonite

If I go crazy then will you still
call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be
there holdin' my hand
I'll keep you by my side with
my superhuman might
Kryptonite

Yeah!

If I go crazy then will you still
call me Superman
If I'm alive and well, will you be
there holdin' my hand
I'll keep you by my side with
my superhuman might
Kryptonite

"How was that?" Sonic asked after finishing his song.

"It sucked," Tommy said, going over to get some shuteye.

Everyone else liked it, and let Sonic know that, before they went to sleep. In the morning they picked up a LOT of supplies and headed out again, figuring they had lost two whole weeks, but that they weren't going to be wasting time hunting this time around. This time, however, they found that the attacking monsters were fiercer and more numerous, causing them to take three days to get where they had been after a day the first time around.

"This is getting us nowhere," Tommy said.

"We still have to do it," Jaime said. "So shut up."

Back in Normville

"I wonder why they took that path," one person said to another.

"They can't read?" the other responded, looking at a signpost ten feet from where the group had left Normville. Three things were written on it:

Left- Long Path to Fortress(1-6 months)
Right - >Healing Spring(10 minutes)
Straight Ahead - Short path to Fortress(2 minutes)

Meanwhile
DS had finally found a bandage in the giant castle. Of course it took him several weeks to find one and he no longer needed it, but that was beside the point. He walked back into the main section of the castle where he looked on the clock. "WHAT? Only a DAY has gone BY?" he yelled.

"Get used to it," said a voice from behind the walls, "If we let time to accelerate at the same time it is for the other group, Ranma and Akane wouldn't want to leave, and you would die of boredom."

"Too late," DS said. "I reached that point two hours ago by this clock."

"Oh, in that case," the voice said. "How about we give you a nice RPG to play."

"Yea, like that would help," DS said.

"This one is different," the voice said. "You control the monsters attacking the other group."

"WHAT!?" DS said, jumping up. "GIMME!"

"I must warn you," the voice continued. "This version is a little kludgy."

"I don't care," DS said. "GIMME IT!"

"Don't say I didn't warn you," the voice said as a mainframe computer dropped on DS's head, knocking him out. His stats changed to show "Snoozing Kitty" as the mainframe booted up and displayed the interface to the RPG.

Off in the Home Office of the Inter-Nexial Authority

"So this is what he is up to," one official said, looking at the Ranma RPG transmission. "Putting people through a game world."

"Let him have his fun," a second official said. "Besides, this is quite enjoyable."

"Nothing like that fiasco when his wife died," someone else threw in. "That was a horror."

"Emotional trauma," the first official said. "Something I hope he never goes through again."

"Amen to that," someone yelled from across the room. "Imagine what would happen if one of his kids was killed."

Everyone in the room visibly cringed and gave the person who had yelled that out a nasty glare. The person, suddenly uncomfortable, decided it was a good time to go use the bathroom.

Back in the forest, quite a while later

"Well isn't this just great," Tommy said. "We finally make it to a point where we can practically SEE the fortress, and we run into a barrier!"

"You mean we have to go all the way back?" Hikeya asked.

"Yep," Sonic said, tapping the barrier. "Someone has to know how to open this, that is how these games work." He then turned to go back down the path they had come down.

"Screw that," Kalshion said. "I am taking the short path!" With that he went down another nearby path. The rest of the group, wondering what he was talking about, chased after him.

Two minutes later

The group exited the forest from the "2 minute" path, to most of their amazement. This was closely followed by most of the group falling flat on their backs.

"Wow," a nearby person said. "Normally we don't see people for almost a year when they go down the long path. It took you five minutes."

"How is that possible," Rose asked. "The world hasn't been like this for a full year."

"What are you, crazy?" another person said. "The world changed fifty years ago!"

"Time differences," Katarina said, shaking her head.

"If you have been around so long," Sonic said, "then can you tell us how to get past that barrier?"

"Nope," one of the two said. "But we know who can."

"Who?" everyone asked at the same time.

"Jinx!" Hikeya then yelled, confusing everyone there. They decided to ignore her for now.

Suddenly a stage appeared in front of the group, band included. Sonic tried to leave, heading for the short path, but this time found he couldn't leave even when the music hadn't started.

"What gives?" Sonic asked nobody in particular.

"You can't go when an important clue is about to be revealed," the narrator said. "Law of the RPG."

"Rats," Sonic said, kicking a small rock.

The music then started, and the band on stage started singing.

Tokyo girl, Tokyo girl
You've got the moves to rule the world
That cute inscru-tability
Tokyo girl, you're a mystery

Tokyo girl, Tokyo girl
Shaking up hearts around the world
You can't forget that stunning face
Smiling at you it's your destiny

She's got the face sweet as a baby
Elegant taste and money to burn
Her "yes" is "no", "no" is a "maybe"
Her language is so hard to learn

Tokyo girl, Tokyo girl
You've got the moves to rule the world
That cute inscru-tability
Tokyo girl, you're a mystery

In Tokyo

Though there's a fire burns inside her
Outside is ivory, silk and ice
Nothing she wants is denied her
You'd better take my advice

Many has tried to get near her
Deep in the heart of Tokyo
Found nothing there but a mirror
She's no one you'll ever know

Tokyo girl, Tokyo girl
You've got the moves to rule the world
That cute inscru-tability
Tokyo girl, you're a mystery

In Tokyo

She's got the face sweet as a baby
Elegant taste and money to burn
Her "yes" is "no", "no" is a "maybe"
Her language is so hard to learn

Tokyo girl, Tokyo girl
You've got the moves to rule the world
That cute inscru-tability
Tokyo girl, you're a mystery

Tokyo girl, Tokyo girl
Shaking up hearts around the world
You can't forget that stunning face
Smiling at you it's your destiny

In Tokyo - sweet as a baby
In Tokyo - sweet as a baby
In Tokyo - sweet as a baby
Sweet as a baby
Sweet as a baby
Sweet as a baby

"Ok then," Kalshion said when the song was over. "Which way is Tokyo?"

"Two miles north of Chicago, th ree miles east of Paris," one of the band members said.

Sonic looked around, then screamed. "HIKEYA!" She came around a corner, looking highly pissed off. When she got closer it was obvious that someone had thrown ink on her clothes. Looking up at Sonic, she waited for what he wanted her for. Sonic, thinking fast, decided on a course of action. "Hikeya," he finally said, harshly so as to keep her mad, "we want you to bring us to some other town. We don't care what town, as long as it isn't Tokyo."

"Alright," Hikeya said, still fuming. She stormed out of town with the rest of the group following. Twenty minutes later the group was in Tokyo.

"Thanks Hikeya," Sonic said, confusing Hikeya. This brought her out of her bad mood, but left her walking after the group trying to figure out what had just happened.

"So how do we find this 'Tokyo Girl'?" Cologne asked.

"Go deep into the heart of Tokyo?" Rose offered.

"I think I know," Hikeya said, still confused, but no longer angry. The rest of the group took note of the latter.

"Ok then," Katarina said. "Lead the way."

Three months later

"Odd that the sun hasn't set in three months," Sonic commented.

"I don't know about that," Hikeya said. "But this is the place."

"Wow, and it only took you three months to find it?" Tommy said sarcastically.

"Lets just get this over with," Rose said.

Hikeya reached out and opened the door, revealing a dark room. The group walked in, Rose activating her pendant to fill the room with light. They noticed a cloth covering what looked to be another door, and Cologne pulled it back to reveal.......

"A MIRROR!" Katarina yelled.

"This is going to be harder then we thought," Kalshion said as the group left.